A Question for the Non-religious

Freedom FROM religion does not exist in this country. Based simply on the fact that religious morals permeate the political platforms and intiaitives of almost every major politician. (Ex: Abortion. Gay Marriage.)

Freedom OF religion? Yes, we are allowed to choose who or what we worship without consequence.

But none of us are free FROM religion. Whether directly or indirectly through political platforms and other people's voting choices, religious principles are forced on us daily.

The older I get the more I realize that we are all judged and we all judge others no matter what the subject. I just try not to be to fanatical either way...I love my religious friends, I love my spiritual friends but above all I love people who deep down inside - do to others as you would have them do to you or do no harm at all =)

I'm so grateful for my family, friends, strangers with a warm friendly smile and a zest for love and life!

I don't totally follow anything in particular. Yea I get funny looks, "oh M.!", that's so sad" and just all kinds of stuff....

If I had to say I felt close to anything it would be WIcca

No, ask anyone who's Muslim whether they feel accepted in our country. Or Mitt Romney whether his religion will cause people not to vote for him. We have some freedom but that doesn't always translate to acceptance.

Yes, I've been discriminated against. My whole life. I had friend after friend take me to their churches as a kid trying to convert me (My parents thought it was fine if I explored different religions but in the end, I always felt like my friends didn't see me as being good enough). My best friend in high school was Mormon and came over one day and gave me a Book of Mormon and a big conversion talk. My junior high friend was Primitive Southern Baptist and told me I was going to hell because I didn't go to church. My public high school English teacher docked me points on a test because I couldn't correlate an example on the test to a Biblical reference. (The teacher sent me home with a Bible, prompting my parents to contact the principal.)

We live in a very churchgoing, conservative area and I've never felt I fit in. The moms on our street are buddy buddy because they formed a Bible study group together, so I'm not included. Understandable, but still feel like an outsider. For the most part, I avoid talking religion at all costs so people don't know we don't belong to a church. We're not atheist, but just don't believe in organized religion.

Speaking as a Christian I feel very much judged for being a Christian. If you are nonreligious that is your right and I have no problem respecting our differences. It is true that there are many religious people who are extremely judgemental and that is sad. While you have your perspective I feel like you that I can't share my beliefs without feeling uncomfortable. I get those eye roll looks even just for stating I believe in God.

Oh and when talking to my daughter's teachers at school they make it a point to say they are not allowed to mention God in any capacity! We can't say that etc..

Also, someone mentioned that Christians are not made fun o but other religions are? Really check out this link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piss_Christ Just go to the internet and type in this.

Seriously??????? This is one of many..Heaven forbid that you mock any other religion or noreligion then you're a intolerant and judgemental or at worst a terrorist.

Edit: You're right Piss Christ is bad art but got awards and is an utter insult to Christians. Just one example of many I can find where Christians are mocked

I am religious, but I hope you don't mind me writing here. I believe you are spot on about people being discriminated against for not being religious. I see it in our politics on TV plenty. I have seen it in schools. I've seen it on this site.

I also see people's choice of religion derided. Is it fair? Not in my view. There are people who say that it doesn't matter if it's fair, because they feel that only one religion can be the right one. So that is judgmental as well.

There are plenty of people who say "live and let live" and don't be hypocritical about stuff. At least there's that.

Dawn

I am Wiccan and a few years ago I was at work (Penney's) a woman came in and saw my Pentacle and asked if I was Jewish and I said no I am Wiccan. She got angry and looked at me and told me I was evil and an abomination to God. Since I was at work and trying not to confront a customer I tried to walk away. She wouldn't let me walk away and insisted on engaging me in conversation. When she asked me to please read the 'beauty of the St James Bible' I told her to please read the Wiccan Bible. She finally walked away. Then stopped a group of Teens walking through the store and began preaching to them. At that point I called for a manager and told the manager that she was interferring with my civil liberties and I wanted her gone.
I have found that unless you belong to some sect of the Christian religion; in America you will be discrimanated against. Rarely do I hear disparageing remarks against most Christians. But I often hear nasty things being said about Jews, Muslims, Pagans and any other religion but Christian.
According to law we are free to practice any religion we want to. But if you want to be accepted in society you had better be Christian or you will be ostracized by many but not all.

I know you asked for responses from the "non-religious", but this has been an issue for me personally lately, so I thought I'd add my two cents. :) My husband and I do not go to church, but we do believe in God. I've just never personally felt that I had to be in a church pew every week. I've always felt my relationship with God was a personal one and whenever and wherever I chose to worship him (church or my own home) was perfectly fine.

My comment is this. I have no problems with people who are religious or non-religious. To each his own! My problem comes in with the extremes of both sides trying to push their beliefs down the throats of others. My husband has a co-worker who is an atheist. He is CONSTANTLY bashing people of Facebook for their belief in God and going out of his way to make them believe that there isn't a God and they are being misled, etc.

On the other end of the spectrum, I've seen very hard-core religious people people feeling it is their duty to "save" everyone and minister to them. I've been told that I can't consider myself a Christian unless I attend a church. I've heard people speak that any belief other than Christian is wrong.

I personally believe that everyone can believe or not believe whatever they want. My attitude is.....I won't push my views on you and you don't push yours on me. Unfortunately, most people don't feel that way.

Everyone I know knows that my hubby and I are non-believers. I have a few friends that are very conservative Christians, and they are OK with this. They discovered this about us after they had know us for a while, and my one friend told me once "you are the most generous person I know."

My point, good people are good people. Religion has nothing to do with it, and anyone that thinks it does, it's much of a religious person.

I do not think that the "awww look at poor so n so" would be different in any other country. It is not America that is the "problem" it is the people who follow religion so closely and assume that their way is the only way. Or that EVERYONE that is white is a Christian. I have MY OWN understanding of religious holidays and can not stand it when people push Santa Claus on my son or "why do you not have a christmas tree? Is your mommy mean?" or other holidays that have mascots such as the Easter Bunny. It is not how I chose to celebrate and I do not push it upon my son either way as long as they do not bad mouth me in the process they can say what they like (for the most part).

Both DH and I are not only not going to church, but we both do not believe in any god or similar idea. We raise our DD that way as well. We do not believe in the existence of God, a higher power, soul, heaven, life after death... you name it. We are both very scientific minded and many questions that come up we answer with a scientific explanation (death, conception, birth, evolution...).

Personally I don't feel like I am missing any "spirituality" in my life. I was raised catholic and stopped believing at a very young age - I always felt terrible having to "fake" it in church or in school in order to not stand out and avoid being bullied.

We live in a very liberal part of the US, so it isn't a worry in our everyday lives - as a matter of fact I don't personally know a single family in our circle of friends who attends a church, even on a semi-regular basis. But there are entire stretches of the US where we would not move to, for fear of being outcast or making it difficult for our daughter to connect. I also personally know people who got baptized and joined a religion because it made it easier for them to get a job (think teaching private school, private preschools...) - they didn't start believing, but they are doing a good enough job faking it.

I don't usually go around telling people that I am an atheist, because the people who know (close family on my DH's side) feel the need to constantly either want to proselytize us or the make condescending comments. Many people are very offended if you don't believe in any god at all, as a matter of fact one of our relatives has said things like "the only thing worse than being Muslim is not believing at all". It's like those parents who get mad at the kids who tell theirs that Santa isn't real...so I usually stick to saying we are "non-practicing".

BUT, with all that said, we still feel very lucky to live where we live. We don't have to be afraid for our lives or our kids because we don't believe and we don't have to fake it and lie about our non-belief in order to get a job or have friends. It could be a lot worse than some snide comments and derogatory jokes from people we see once a year.

If the people you are hanging out with make you feel like you are found wanting, be it for your religion or lack of, you are hanging out with the wrong people.

I was once told..."so if your Agnostic, then what are your kids?"...I said my kids attend a Christian church as long as the want to go, I am ok with that."...This persons reply was "Oh good, I was going to have a huge problem if you were forcing your kids not to believe!"....

WTH? So yes, I have been judged for my beliefs, my kids have been judged for my beliefs and I think its awful. I wanted to say "Well I have problem with you forcing your kids to believe!" Even though I have no problem with what others want/need to believe.

In my public persona, no I do not go about stating I am Agnostic...it makes others uncomfortable. I am confident in my decision but don't feel it's my right to shove my thoughts down others throats.

I probably know more about Christinity than some "Christians" do. But I don't shout it out. In my personal life yes, everyone knows that I am Agnostic and those who have opinions have learned that "Unless you can sit down without getting emotional, I will not have this conversation with you!".

Interesting that this question comes up today...a daycare parent asked me yesterday that if I knew a family I was interviewing with were non-believers in Christ, would I accept them for care? Difficult question...as a lot of how I handle children, their parents and how my family is involved is Christ based. I would find it difficult to keep that out of my daily equasion. On one hand, I would not want to have to stifle my beliefs, but on the other hand, allowing them to see how I live, how Christ affects my daily life, I would hope that they themselves, would soften their hearts to Christ. I don't like to try to shove anything down anyone's throat, but simply wait for them to come to me with questions. A heart has to be ready and open for knowledge

When all is said and done, I think the choice would be difficult, but I would lean towards not accepting them for care. My motto is: STAY IN THE WORD...word...worship...prayer...fellowship.

Ina G's answer is my own. Living in Seattle, it's not an issue and I don't have many religious/practicing friends or colleagues. I can see that it could be an issue elsewhere in the US. That said, it SHOULD NOT be an issue anywhere. Hopefully someday our populous will evolve to a point where it is a non-issue.

I think there is a huge amount of pressure to be 'Christian'. I think many people us their religion as a rationalization for what they believe appropriate social policy to be. 'The bible says so' is not a good reason for not teaching rational sex education or evolution in public schools. And of course there should be freedom from religion. There was a great article about being black and a non-believer in this weeks Sunday Times magazine section. http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/27/fashion/african-america...

As I happen to be Jewish, it is not generally a problem for me. Some large percentage of ethnic/cultural Jews are agnostic or atheist. And 'Christians' seem to feel a bit more uncomfortable pushing their beliefs on someone Jewish than someone who is simply an atheist (apparently a potential convert?)

I dont know that I have been discriminated but I do not feel that I can share my beliefs with everyone. I do not believe in God. And not many people know that. I don't run around yelling from the roof tops but if ask straight on I will answer. I usually just don't comment on the matter because I either get looked at like i'm crazy or some devil worshiper. My mother in law who does believe in God and feels very strongly toward the matter doesn't know my opinion because I really don't think she would here my side. I feel that here you have to believe in God or something of the like- depending on the religion. I can't say that I feel like I am judged or anything- mostly because I keep my feelings to myself. and I respect that of others. I can say that while I do respect others beliefs I don't feel that mine are respected. When people do hear my beliefs they try to convince me to believe in God. Which I would never ask them not to believe- so that is obnoxious.

Yes. As I have gotten order the more non religious I have become and I am always made to feel I can not talk about my beliefs or lack there of for I might insult someone who does believe. I am accepting others for their faith but I am often found it is harder to build a friendship unless I have the same belief. I try hard not to judge others but it is hard when I am often judged anyways. I lived in the south for awhile and got asked all the time which church I went too and people didn't understand that I didn't go the church and they would never talk to me much after that. People who don't judge tend to be other non Christians. I am not judging Christians just that those are the group that tends to care more about my beliefs then others. And yes sometimes I think it would be easier just to join a church socially but I just can't do it.

No, we don't mention it to people (except good friends) that we are not religious...agnostic or athiest...who knows. It seems like almost everyone I know goes to church and yes I very much feel like I'm not normal and like I might be judged. My mom raised my brother and I with no religion so we could choose for ourselves when we got old enough. When I was old enough I tried some different churches (and even took classes in religion to learn more) and I strongly disliked them all...they are so weird to me. The only religion I could slightly relate to is Buddhism. My husband was raised Methodist...his mom is a minister and his dad is an athiest. He and his 2 siblings are all non-religious as adults. Anyway - yes I feel like some people are quite judgmental (funny, bc Christians are supposed to not be judgmental of others).

AMEN Blessed Momma! I couldn't have said it better myself! I've gotten a couple of snarky comments when I describe myself as spiritual but not religious.

I am not a member of an organized religious faith, but I do believe MY faith and MY belief works for me and my family. I too have issue with the 2 extremes and to the point of your question, I do believe we are becoming less and less tolerant of true 'religious freedom' here in the USA. Maybe not less tolerant, but people are certainly more vocal and we hear more about the issues.

I've been married 23 years. I found out a few years after we got married my grandmother who was Old Order Brethren almost didn't come to my wedding because I was marrying a Catholic in a Catholic church! She really was willing to miss her oldest granddaughters wedding because of a religious difference.

I explain to people that my biological father was Catholic but when my mother got pregnant with me in the early 60s and the priest refused to marry them, he left the church. I was raised in a Presbyterian Church but was baptized Baptist. *Which by the way is the one religion I want to completely distance myself from as an adult. I worked in a Seventh Day Adventist Hospital but finished my BSN at the local Nazarene College. I married a Catholic, have the relatives who are Old Order Brethren. I have dear friends who are Morman and others who are Jewish. My kids go to a small private, non-religious school, and have friends who are Buddhist, Hindu and Muslim. I truly believe we are all heading in the same direction but taking different paths. And honestly have a hard time with the INDIVIDUALS who believe and act like they have the hotline to God or the afterlife and know exactly who gets priority seating!

I'm an unabashed Atheist. So is my husband. I raise my children the same way.

Do I feel I've been discriminated against... sure who hasn't been. Every religion thinks they are right. Even non religious or people who don't care like agnostics are going to have trouble. Do people want to sit and argue with me... sure. I find alot of Christians do and in the end they end up saying the same old silly line to me "Well isn't it better to believe in something... just in case." Such an annoying line. I believe when you die you are worm food. I don't believe you'll care because well you're dead. I'm fine with that. My energy will go back out into the universe and that's it.

I'm confident in my beliefs and I really don't let anyone get me going because of it. You can believe in Christ, Mohammad, some man in the sky I don't care I just ask the same treatment from you towards me. Do I usually get it. Yes!

But no I don't really feel like I've ever really lost something or had anything besides a minor annoyance even being an atheist. I'm also a vegan and let me tell you I get a million times more guff from that than being an atheist. I swear people say oh you don't believe in god... cool.... You don't eat meat? What in the hell is wrong with you.

So I hear far far far more about being a vegan than I do about religion. And everyone seems to be on one pole or the other in that conversation. I'm either starving myself and my family to death... or good for you I've been trying to eat less meat how do you do it. It's pretty much always one or the other. Funny how in this day and age people really do seem to care more about their right to eat meat than religion. But that is just my experience.

I live in a VERY religious community (and no - I don't really live in Boulder - I just wish I lived in Boulder lol) and I've never really come across any discrimination because we are not church goers. I'm sure there are lots of people out there that might discriminate against me for those reasons - but I choose not to associate with them.

My best friend is very religious - we have other things in common though - and it isn't a big deal to me. Ditto with another friend who is even MORE religious - she doesn't seem to mind my heathen ways.

I'm not sure I could tolerate the hypocrisy if it was the other way around and they did look down on me - it isn't the right way to live your life as we are all allowed to have our own religious affiliations in this country.

Plus - even good "Christians" (for lack of a better term) have their own flaws - they are human after all.

Nice thought provoking question.

Interesting question. I grew up in Canada and moved to the Midwest as an adult. I have traveled and lived in various parts of the world, but this was the first time I had lived in the US. I felt I stuck out like a soar thumb, whereas I had never experience that feeling (due to my scientific/non-religious views) anywhere else, quite like I did in the US. I made some wonderful, lasting friendships, but the casual friendships were hard to come by, as I didn't feel like I related. I think the difference was that in other areas where I've lived, if you ask someone their top 5 defining characteristics, religion wouldn't necessarily make or top the list; whereas, it was first and foremost with many people I encountered in the US. Not that I ever asked that, but that was my impression. There were also a lot of assumptions that I, too, shared their religion...and then it was an issue for them when they learned that I did not. For example, the phrase, "I'm not religious" as an aside in a conversation became a compete conversation stopper. It was odd, and at times, isolating. It especially struck me as backwards, knowing the forefathers of the Constitution were 100% for separation of church and state. It seems to me that the 'state' was heavily saturated in religion. An interesting experience - one that made me realize we ALL need to work on being more tolerant.

I am technically Jewish (I celebrate Hanukkah and sometimes Passover) but I am not a religious person and I don't believe in God. I have not been to religious services in over 20 years.

I've never felt discriminated by anyone I know personally, whether it is family, friends, or even casual acquaintances. There are things that bother me though, such as swearing on the bible in court. Fortunately, I've never had to do it. While I certainly would tell the truth no matter what, making me swear to it on a bible is totally meaningless to me and I don't think that it should be there. To me, that is the opposite of separating church and state. Likewise, I don't like that the president of the US is sworn in on a bible.

I also wish "God Bless America" wasn't the song that was adopted following 9/11, as I wish I could go to a baseball game without having to hear it. There are other great songs, such as "America the Beautiful," that celebrate the wonder and beauty of our country without having to bring God or religion into it.

I think people in the US are free to practice the religion of their choice, but I also think there is a lot of hypocrisy in religion, and it is this that makes it hardest for me to be accepting of the VERY religious. For example, discriminating against gay people and forbidding gay marriage because the bible supposedly says it's not ok. To me, that is ridiculous. The bible is supposed to teach love and respect, but people use it to do exactly the opposite.

Anyway, that's my take on it.

Ha! I'm so with Holly Dolly! My husband and I are more agnostic than atheist (I think I lean more toward the atheist end of things than he) and I am a vegetarian (which means my family is, most of the time, as well, because I won't cook meat). There is soooo much more I hear about diet from people than religion. (Why is our country so convinced that people need an insane amount of protein?) In any case, everyone is judged by judges people, religious or not. Catholics judge evangelists just the same as presbyterians judge atheists. Doesn't matter what their views are, if they are judgy people and the other person's views differ from theirs it is inevitable.

When I lived a completely secular life, I did not feel judged or looked down upon at all in my daily life. However, It did completely annoy me that businesses would put the Christian fish on thier signage. I suppose that's meant to mean that they are Christian and therefore can be trusted? I didn't find that to be true. and to me, that's selling out and using religion as a marketing tool! It also annoyed me when people would try to give someone credit as a good person by seaying ...she's a good Christian woman. So....Muslim woman, Jewish Woman, HIndu women, they aren't just as good?

Now that I choose to live the tenets of a religion, I still do not feel any pressure about it. I think the religious people that get grief for it are the ones that bring it up in innapropriate places or at ainnapropriate times or like I said, use it as a weapon or marketing tool.

Whenever I tell people that I've rarely been to church since I was 10 they tend to try and convince me to go to church, especially theirs. I only enter a church to help my sister volunteer at hers and because I like to help decorate her church for VBS. When I tell people I'm not sure about religion they start driving me nuts about Christianity and how it's the right way and so on. Then again, I live in the Bible Belt and always have.

One beauty of living in the USA is the chance to observe and marvel at all the different religions that practice freely here.

So we are free *from* religion and also free to participate in all of them, too!

I was raised Catholic, but not particularly religious now. I've experienced mild discrimination as a kid (those were the old days). However, isn't it just fascinating to visit other places of worship and observe their rituals?

During times when there's no services, I've taken my kids to several other churches, synagouges, temples, pow wows, etc. We take advantage of the teachable moments, and learn the creation stories among the cultures.

Being open to learning and getting to know other folks--on their terms--on their turf--makes it darn hard for discrimination to happen. We're all really the same at the end of the day.

And that's a little part of what the USA is all about. Aren't we lucky!!

I'm not a believer, but feel if I express my opinion, people will look down on me or try to change my mind.