A Generous Friend

I know how you feel. My third child was the first boy. I had all girl stuff so everyone and their mother was giving me their boy hand me downs. I was thankful and asked them if they wanted them back and used only the things I liked. Like another poster said there might be a couple of things like jeans or leggings or skirt or something you could use as part of another outfit. And pajamas you can never have enough of even if they are ugly it is nice to have a backup. The ugly ones have saved me a couple of times. Also they out grow them so fast that in a couple of months they wont fit anyways.

You can just tell her thank you, but you already have been getting lots of donations and have more clothes than you will be able to use at this point. Or you could tell her you are having a boy! (sly grin)

Hi P.S., You never know when they might come in handy. I swear I had to change my son's clothes 10 times a day as a small infant... pooping and peeing, spit up...then a few more poops. I often was putting him in what ever was clean and could not believe how much laundry a little baby could make. Did I mention how much he could poop and poop and pee and spit up :) Who knows a tacky outfit might be a blessing if it's clean and in arms reach.

Hope for a boy! ;) if she wants them back just put them in your garage or closet for a year then give them back. When I've given away clothes I tell friends to donate what they don't want so they don't feel obligated. A good suggestion I've heard of for tacky gifts is to take a photo of the baby wearing said gift and send it with a thank you card. And save a few of the least offending pieces for when you know you will see your friend! Good luck and congrats on your soon to be new baby!

PS,
I personally would not be offended if someone told me they did not want the hand-me-downs I offered them. Each person has their own feelings about used closed and each person has their own taste. Them not wanted to use the clothes is no personal reflection on me, just how they personally feel. I always tell the person I am donating to that they can use what they want and do what they want with them. I also tell them I will not be offended if they do not want any of them. I am not the kind of person to even remember if the child is wearing something I gave them or not. Use your discretion because you know your friend the best. If you need to keep a couple of the outfits around to wear when you are around her, then do that. Otherwise, donate them to a shelter or good will or something.

Keep one or two, and just put the baby in one of those outfits when you know you are going to see your friend. She'll never know if your baby doesn't wear the rest. Or take a picture of the baby in one outfit, and be sure to show your friend!

I was in the same situation. I just told my friend that I'm really exciting to do my own shopping for our first and probably only baby. I suggested that she gives the cloths to someone needy and she was fine with that. Well, I had to take a picture with "the new cloths" she bought for him and send it with a "Thank you" note. Good luck!

You can refuse them easy just tell her that you have clothes already lined up for the baby but you know of a church or other family who would for sure love her generosity!

Pick out the cute ones and give the rest to charity or pass them on to another mom. Remember kids grow out of things really fast! Did she give you pjs and play clothes? What about saving those items, even if you wouldn't take her "out" in them? I'll pray you have a boy! :)

Had the same thing happen here. Take the clothes, picking out maybe one or two outfits that are okay (maybe not your style, but not hideous). If your baby wears one of those outfits ONCE to your friend's, she'll feel like she's helped. Everything else- Consign or Donate.

Baby clothes are almost never thrown away. They are passed on from mama to mama because they just don't see enough wear to justify the money spent on them. So we feel good by ensuring that at least someone else will get some value out of those clothes too.

Hi, My sister-in-law saved all my nieces stuff long before we had a child. Then we did and lucky for her it was a girl. I took the clothes because they were free! Our children were born in different seasons, exact opposite to be exact, so a lot of the clothes now are not working out. My child is also bigger in size, which throws another twist to it. But my child also goes to day care and I don't mind sending the old clothes to daycare. I would say take what you can, you don't have to use them all or any. If she requests them back, like others said, save them for awhile and return them. Otherwise just donate them when you wish.

Congrats on the little one! Most likely, it won't be as much of a problem as you think. People love to give you baby gifts, so you will probably receive MORE than enough clothes for your little one. I received more than my little boy could even wear once. So if I were you, I'd just keep accepting them graciously as you are and then there must be a few things that you will like/use. Just wear those when you see her sometime or make sure and get a picture of the baby in them and send it to her. There could be a lot worse problems to have then a generous friend.

My cousin did the exact same thing to me. She ended up sending me 3 of the big grey plastic totes that you put Christmas stuff in to store. I asked her if she wanted them back when I was done, and she said no. So since I don't see her very often, I kept some of the clothes for when we did see her and consigned whatever I could get money for, then donated the rest to a local womens shelter. Most people just give stuff to GoodWill or Value Village, but if you can, look for a shelter to donate them to because most people just think of the adult women, but the reality is that a lot of women at the shelter have their kids with them. If your friend does want them back, keep out a few outfits then tell her that you appreciate her generosity but that you would really like to be able to shop for your child. Don't be rude about it because that might make her not want to give you gifts in the future. I don't know when you are due or what the weather will be like when your baby is born, but sometimes the ugliest clothes make for nice underneath layers in cold weather with a cute outfit over them. If this is a friend that you do see often, then just tell her that you got so many clothes that you just can't use all of them, but you still appreciate her giving them to you.

PS,
What a nice gesture for your friend to offer baby clothes. Take them! You never know how many times per day your newborn will need to be changed. If there really are some hideous outfits then you can just donate them to charity later on. Brand new baby clothes can be so expensive, and really every little bit helps.

P S,
My very generous (and child-less) SIL is constantly buying girly-girl clothes for my children. They are beautiful and very expensive, but they just aren't appropriate for how we live. I very graciously thank her and ask her (yet again) not to splurge like that. I buy all their clothes at 2nd hand stores or get them from freecycle. We live out in the country on a farm and $100 dresses just don't fit in, lol.

I would accept your friend's gift, use what you like, and donate or consign the rest!

She won't see you and baby everyday, so you don't have to worry about offending her. Just keep them all and use the parts you are okay with. There has got to be at least a few indies or plain shirts or jeans or something. If she ever asks, just tell her that you are so greatful for her generosity, and that you got tons of clothes as gifts and that you can't resist shopping for your little princess yourself too. Be sure to ask whether she wants them back when you are done with them or if she wants you to pass them to someone else.

When ever I have been offered cloths I have asked if they want me to go through them and return what I do not want, or if they would prefer I donate what I will not use to charity. Then I do as they prefer, I take just what I will use and return or donate the rest. No one has ever been offended I did not want / could not use all of what they were getting rid of.

Take the clothes to your nearest consignment store!!! She does not need to know, mooned feelings will be hurt, and you can actually get some stuff that you want! Not sure where you are, but there are2locations for all about kids on the eastside that I frequent! I did this with some of the handmedowns I was given for both of my kids!

If you are having a boy - no problem! Ask her if she wants them back or take them to a consignment store or sale.

If you are having a girl, pick a handful of outfits that you can live with and store the rest. After your baby has outgrown the first batch, ask you friend whether she would like them back... same procedure as above.

We got a Christmas outfit one year, that my daughter wore exactly 20 minutes - snapped a picture, sent it to Grandma, and never got it out again. I spent a lot of time trying to tell our very well meaning relatives what kind of toys and clothes we prefer, but they just end up feeling unappreciated. Now I simply sell the stuff and buy something for my daughter that is more our style.

BTW many consignment stores/sales offer to donate the clothes that don't sell, so go ahead and try to make some money off of them and donate the rest.

How about just telling her the truth?

Politely thank her for her generosity and pray for a boy! :)

You may find that having a backup stash of some things is really helpful. My daughter spits up ALL the time (after every feeding, between feedings, in her sleep, while she's playing, really all the time) and there are days when I don't even get her fully changed before she needs clean clothes again. We have way too much clothes for her normally, but there have been days where I was digging through the too small things looking for something clean. If you have a girl that does the same things, it might be helpful.

Also remember that it doesn't really matter what your child wears at this age. They need to be dressed appropriately for the weather but the brand and style of clothes don't really matter. Instead of spending additional money on clothes, you could set it aside for education or something of that nature. Then your friend is really giving you two gifts.