A Binky Problem...

Updated on January 28, 2007
A.S. asks from Mechanicsburg, PA
26 answers

My daughter is just over a month old and I cannot get her to sleep at night. She seems to fight it. She gets so grumpy around 8 pm so I try putting her to bed. First we rock until she falls asleep so then I take her and lay her in her pack n play. (she is still sleeping in my room) As soon as her binky falls out she starts crying. She will continue to cry until I go in and put it back in her mouth. I have tried to let her fall back asleep on her own but she just gets so upset that it doesn’t happen. We go through the binky ordeal until about midnight or a little after – when she eventually is so tired that she won’t wake up when it pops out. It is very frustrating because when she goes to sleep at night I like to have a little time with just my fiancé and I. Please give me any suggestions you may have! Thanks!!

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L.W.

answers from Washington DC on

both my daughters were the same way.. what we did was when we put her to sleep, we would put her on her side, roll a blanket and place it behind her back and then place a blanket near the binky so it would stay. This would usually work for us because both of my girls love to sleep with a stuffed animal so we would place a little blanket there so it wouldn't fall.

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E.F.

answers from Sharon on

Binkys aren't my fav thing but my friend recently had the same problem. She used a rolled up recieving blanket and put it around the baby's head like those things they put in carseats to keep the head upright and laid her son on his sideso that the binky was held loosley in the baby's mouth and that it din't roll very far away. If it did fall out he could nuzle around until it went back in his mouth.

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L.M.

answers from York on

Hey A., my son is 6 months old and ever since we brought him home he's been using the paci and will not go to sleep with out it! Its a real pain in the butt! i have to do the same thing as you! when he was younger the paci would fall out of his mouth every 30 minutes at night and i'd have to keep putting it back in his mouth the whole night! hes doin a bit better now, that he sleeps in his crib in his own room and is a bit older, but hes still wont go to sleep without it! im pregnant agn and one thing i CAN tell you!lol.. is im NOT giving this baby a paci!

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A.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hello A.,
Congrats on your bundle of joy. I just recently had my 2nd son on Dec 29th so I am right there with you. I took the music/vibrator piece off of the bassinet and placed it in the crib at night. My son also falls asleep with the binky and the vibrator so when the binky falls out, his mind is still preoccupied with the sensation of the bed moving. I also sometimes rub his head until he falls asleep and if you take your finger and lightly rub her face it helps, gently rub from the forehead to the tip of her nose and her eyes will automatically close. I would suggest to keep trying different things, don't be afraid to try something new, your baby might like something different. A couple of ideas might be: swaddle her at night; use a mobile; vibrator with music; aquarium water works well, it latches onto the crib. Good Luck, A.

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C.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi A.!
I am a mother of two children, so I have been there, done that! One method that worked for me was swaddling the baby; wrapping them snuggly and tightly in a blanket. I found with my children it was a security thing, and the closeness from swaddling seemed to help. Just an idea!

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C.J.

answers from Harrisburg on

Hia sweetie.....welcome to motherhood, this is where all the fun happens....
Personally, I wouldnt let her cry it out just yet. She is very tiny and young still, and she is going to depend on you for quite awhile more until she can do some things herself. She is still developing the feelings that newborns have. Getting up every hour to place the binki back in her mouth is going to be challenging, but it will end. I do suggest the stuffed animal with the binki attached(what a great idea)...
Binki oreadl until midnight is not bad....its when you are dealing with it ALL NIGHT when it should be bad. Your daughter sounds like she is sleeping great, and that is wonderful.You sound like a great mommy.Keep up the great work.

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J.D.

answers from Washington DC on

hello My daughter did the same thing. they have diffrent heads on the binkys try getting one that is fatter instead of the ones that are slanted. the slanted ones would not stay in Evas mouth. once I changed to the fatter ones I had no problems!

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D.H.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi, my name is D., and I'm a 23 year old at home mother. My daughter Jaden, now 6 months old, went through pretty much the same thing. We had her stay in our room too, in a basenet, so she could be close to us. The sleepness nights were starting to get to both us. I would try to rock her, feed her, anything to get her asleep; and as soon as I would lay her sleeping body down, she would wake up and start crying again! I called my doctor to see if this was normal, because I was getting NO sleep after all of this. My doctor told me it was pretty much normal to have sleepless nights for at least the first 2 months. I was so sad when he said that, I couldn't deal with another month...turns out I had to wait until she was 3 months old to get a night of sleep! (That day got marked on the calendar!!) I guess I'm just trying to say wait it out. Your baby is still so young and no pattern for sleep is set yet, and may not be until 6 months like my friends baby!! Just hang in there! If you want to, I have a Yahoo group for young mothers in the Pittsburgh area. A good place to talk for advice, some friendships, and other goodies. Check it out, you may like it! http://groups.yahoo.com/group/youngmothersofpittsburgh/

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J.G.

answers from Philadelphia on

My daughter did the same thing when she was that age and it is frustrating. Is the binky to big for her mouth? I think when the binky is too big for their mouth they can't really control it. Get a binky that comes in her size (yes they come in sizes). Eventually she will be able to keep it in her mouth and when her fine motor skills start to develop she will pick it up herself and put it in her mouth during the night.

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L.C.

answers from Pittsburgh on

A.,

I know that it may take a night or two of tears but I would let her cry herself to sleep. If you know she is full and her diaper is clean and there are no other signs needing your attention, then I say let her cry herself to sleep.
It will break the binky habit. I have three kids and I never used a binky. I did however make my mistakes with my first born by walking him to sleep and then laying him down. What I thought at first was a new mommy just walking her baby to sleep turned out to be a mom in sane trying to get a little peace at the end of the day.
Your baby should be placed soundly in her crib or pack N play tightly snug in her blanket. Away from the noise and distractions. Somewhere where you can hear her, but she isnt going to hear you.
Like I said it may take a few nights to break it but I would give it a try. What is a few restless nights verses hundred's of good night sleeps?

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A.N.

answers from Philadelphia on

I think that binky problem is par for the course with babies that litte--mine did the same thing. In time, she will get the hang of it. I can't say enough good things about the Miracle Blanket (www.miracleblanket.com). It is a swaddling blanket. Some babies are very soothed by swaddling. My daughter was up every hour or so as a newborn and often up for the day at 3:00 a.m. It was awful. We got the Miracle Blanket at age six weeks, and she slept for seven hours straight the first night. She was sleeping through the night consistently not long afterward. It was worth every penny for us! You also might want to try a white noise machine--also soothing for little babies. Good luck!

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D.C.

answers from Harrisburg on

I'm just going to add on the what other moms have said here. She is too young to cry it out. If you go down that route you are really teaching her that she can't trust you. It sounds to me like she's just hungry though. You should try feeding her instead of rocking her to sleep. Babies that age do not sleep through the night and often still have thier night and day mixed up anyway. It just takes time.

As for the binkie, my daughter never took one. She just wasn't into it. But it is true that letting your infant sleep with a binkie in thier mouth does help reduce SIDS so I say let her have it. If you ar concerned about weening her off, they don't really need it after three months.

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A.C.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I understand how frustrating this can be, but the best thing to do is just give it time. Babies sleeping patterns change quite frequently in the first year, one week they're sleeping on schedule, the next week it could change. I would also suggest letting her keep the binky, you don't have to worry about weaning her off of it until she's older. My son was a binky boy. I would also try different things right before her bedtime. Like giving her a bath, running the sweeper or even trying to delay her sleeping until later. See what works for you two and go from there. I promise that it might seem like this will never end right now, but it will. And you and your fiance will be able to spend time together soon. Maybe not right now, but soon. Just remember that you are all she has knows in this world, and the one person she looks to for comfort.

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V.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi A.,

My two month old does the same thing. He'll calm down with the binky but go crazy if it falls out. Depending on the way he's sucking (if it's loud smacking sound), I usually take that to mean he's hungry. I'll feed him and then he's off to sleep. It's hard to tell whether they just want to suck or if they're hungry sometimes, but if he's smacking on it so hard and wakes up when it falls out, to me that means he's hungry. Good luck!

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A.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I had this same problem with my 6 month old when he was younger and he's my 3rd child so I know exactly how you feel. Well you may not agree but it's just a suggestion- because you should do whatever you feel most comfortable doing- but I just let my son cry it out. I asked the doctor and she even said it's fine. As long as your little one is fed, changed, and not sick I'd try leaving her cry herself to sleep- well not for longer than 30 minutes though. Hang in there it will get easier. If you ever need to chat you can email me at ____@____.com and good luck with your little girl

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T.P.

answers from Dover on

A.,
Just wanted to throw my 10 cents in here. First of all congrats. I remember how frustrating it was as a first time mom trying to find solutions to daunting problems. I disagree with a few of the moms who have said your daughter is better off without the binky. There are actually studies out there that show infants have less risk of SIDS if they use a binky. So I say let her keep it. My only thought is... potentially colic. It usually sets in around 4-8 weeks and is generally worst at night. My younger son would start crying around 9pm and wouldn't stop until 1 or 2am most nights. Nothing except warm baths or laying on his belly across a forearm made him feel better. Have you tried bathing with her? I used to fill the tub all the way up and then have my hubby hand the baby to me. He would lay on my chest in the tub and it really seemed to sooth him.

Even the doctors aren't sure exactly what colic is, or what causes it. So basically you just need to try different things if that's it. They say if a baby cries for no apparant reason for at least 3 hours a day, at least 3 times a week, it's colic. You might just put a call in to the ped to ask them abouut it. Binky might just be a comfort measure for her.

Good luck!!

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J.H.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hey there,

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I had the same problem with my now 1 1/2 year old. Let me give you a word of advice though..If you can stand the crying for a couple nights in a row...let her cry it out and figure out how to sooth herself. I know that will be tough, frustrating and nerveracking but you do not want to end up like me...at over a year old I still have to run in my daughters room in the middle of the night everytime she loses her Binki and can not find it. It always seems to fall behind the crib where she can't get to it...I have a reserve of up to 6 Binkis at one time. Some night I still have to run in her room 2-3 times. It is not terrible becasue as soon as she has a binki she goes right back to sleep but I wish I had done thin gs differently when she was a baby. I hope this helps a bit...hang in there..things do get easier!!

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D.R.

answers from York on

Good Morning... lol.. dont mean to laugh but my son did the same thing he'll be a yr old on the 3rd of Feb, he still has his binky, i leave about 3 around him so when the pops out and he cant find it he usually reaches for another one, but when he was back in your daughters age, i did have those rough nights, just hang in there, it will get better... :o)

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S.P.

answers from Washington DC on

Hey, A.. What you're going through is totally normal! Your baby is soooo young still. Binki's are great - I still use one w/ my daughter at sleep time (she's 16 months now.) Babies have a natural instinct to suck and the binky can fulfill this need and help to soothe them. I know it is so exausting and at times frustrating but hang in there! It'll pass eventually, but it may be a long time. When you can let go of the expectation that she'll have a "normal" sleeping schedule and things'll get easier. Being up all night - especially at this very young age - is what is really normal. She really needs a lot of comfort, food, and attention at all hours now. Catch shut eye and quality time with your fiancee when you can and enjoy all the quality time with your daughter that you can - even if it's at midnight! I'm sure you've heard it before but she's gonna grow so fast, before you know it you'll be looking back at the times when you were able to hold her in your arms, rock her to sleep and enjoy having a sleeping baby in your arms. One thing that REALLY helped us with our daughter when she was new was "The Happiest Baby on the Block." It's a book, there's also a video. I highly reccomend it, it'll help to give the perspective of the baby at her young age, and also show you some methods on how to sooth her and they really really work every time! Good luck to you and your family!

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I.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

i just answer your other one about birthcontarl.anyway give her a worm bath,and a warm bottle at night befor bed that should work.
or put a little food not a lot just a little i know that work all night.

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C.R.

answers from Lancaster on

Keep in mind, that your baby is ONLY a month old! She needs you right now a lot more than your fiancee! If this (I assume) his baby, get him to help with her also. More than anything else, be patient. My kids are 22 & 15, and some days I miss the stage you are in. have fun & good luck.

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N.B.

answers from Pittsburgh on

If you aren't swaddling her give it a try - it really does wonders. Target and Babies r us sell the Swaddle-Me blanket which has velcro tabs so the swaddle won't come undone. Other suggestions are using white noise (like a fan). The binky issue is tough - i wish i had an idea for you. I know Lisa suggested letting her cry herself to sleep and that sounds like that worked for her, but I think that your baby, at one month old, is way too young for that. She's still developing her feelings of trust so until she's a bit older let her know she can count on you... and take comfort in the fact that this too shall pass!

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K.S.

answers from Allentown on

Please be careful putting items in the sleep area, esp blankets and towels. She is still to young to sleep anyway but on her back right now. You can swaddle her ...not sure if you tried that but it helps them sleep more soundly, or try a wuba nub which is a paci attached to a small animal..it rests on their chest so the paci stays put or at least in an area where she can shove it back in with the back of her hand. My LO did this when she was a few weeks old. I feel your pain tho! Good luck.

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M.P.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi A.,

I know it canreally be frustrating, especially if u had a busy day and u are counting on getting baby to bed so u can have a bit of a rest, or at least spend some quality time with Dad.

Have u tried giving her her dinner at about 6-6.30 pm, then at about 7-7.30 pm give her a nice warm bath. When u dry her off, give her a good rub/massage all ove, then have her feed ready.

Try that and it may work.

I have a rough time myself. I have 23 mnth old twin girls, and one had colic for about a year!

It gets easier each day, my dear. Don't despair. Just enjoy baby at this age, they r so precious.

Keep well and God Bless.
M.
____@____.com

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C.G.

answers from Allentown on

A.-
The baby's still so little - she hasn't got proper 'binky control' yet. I'd say since she's still so little- keep plugging away at it! Maybe put her in the bouncy seat in a room that's close to where you guys are- but still quiet enough to get to her when she has a binky meltdown? When they're that little there's not much 'damage' to be done if she isn't in her permanent night time sleeping place until you are. (I was always freaked out that I'd mess my kid up by not following all the stupid book advice about sleep- that lasted about 2 months- until my hormones got back under control and I realized that the baby didn't read the same books as me :-) Good luck and know that pretty soon she'll have TOTAL control over keeping that plug in her mouth!
C.

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A.F.

answers from Washington DC on

Hun, the only thing you can do this early is take a deep breath and be patient!!! My 1st had night collic and it was HORRIBLE! My boyfriend would sleep thru it all, so it was me holding a screaming baby for hours. Then one day, they wake up a differnt baby. They go thru stages, constantly. You have to just go w/ it. They are trying to figure this whole thing out, just like you. All of sudden one night you'll realize she went to bed kindof early, but she must have been too tired. Then you'll realize that thats her new thing. My son, now 5 months has been angel, completely opposite than his sister. He was sleeping thru the night since he was 2 weeks. Every baby is differnt and at such a young age, none of that letting them scream stuff works. She's too young. You just have to be patient!!! So, good luck, you are young and its your first baby. PATIENTS!!! That is the only thing you will have to learn!

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