9 Mth Old Sharing Room with 3 Yr Old and Having Her CIO to Sleep Thru Night??

Updated on May 25, 2012
J.B. asks from Farmington, CT
12 answers

Due to lack of space, we have our 9 month old daughter sharing a room with my 3 year old son. If we put her in the pack-n-play downstairs, she seems to have success sleeping through the night. If I put her in the room with my son, she tends to wake up in the middle of the night. I have no problem letting her cry it out. In fact we have let her cry it out while in the pack-n-play downstairs and it has helped her learn to sleep through the night. However, when I put her in the crib in the same room with my son, she tends to wake up in the middle of the night. I go get her because I don't want her to disturb my son. Has anyone had a similar situation with room sharing?

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answers from Minneapolis on

I fed my daughter when she woke up each night. By 11 months, she slept through the 1:00 am feeding, and by 13 months slept through the 5:00 am feeding, also. A nine-month old is crying at night because she needs you, no matter where she is sleeping.

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answers from Oklahoma City on

A 9 month old is not old enough to be crying it out. They cry because they need something. They are hungry or lonely or something. Your baby needs you to take care of her.

Your baby is still learning to trust or mistrust you. If she is hungry and crying and you do not come she is not going to build that trust she needs to have a healthy relationship.

I think crying it out is a sad way to parent a child especially a baby. Allowing a few minutes of fussing is not a harmful thing to do but allowing a baby to cry an extended amount of time, enough to wake others in the household is too extreme to me.

If you can't take care of her needs during the night then continue to allow her to sleep in the pack-n-play until she is older.

She will have growth spurts every couple of months, she is going to triple her birth size over the 1st 2 years of her life. She is going to be hungry during these times, if it's hot outside she may wake up thirsty, etc....she may just have a bad dream and be scared.

She needs you to figure out what is going on. I always kept the kids on a pretty stable schedule for meals. They got breakfast, a snack, lunch, a snack after nap time, dinner, and a good size snack late at night, about 8:30, right before bed. They usually slept all night when they were not hungry. But they still had times whey they woke up starving. The body uses a lot of energy during the sleep cycle because it is fighting off infections, fixing cellular damage, processing lots of bodily functions.

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answers from Honolulu on

9 months old is a growth-spurt period in a baby. Every 3 months is a growth-spurt time. They get hungrier. My kids, which I nursed, had GINORMOUS appetites. And I nursed them when they woke.

Per our Pediatrician, for the 1st year of life, a baby needs to be nursed/given Formula on demand. It is a building block period. And "Solids" is not as nutritionally dense, as breastmilk or Formula.

Or, a baby can wake because of noises in the room. Even a parent snoring for example, can wake them.

Or, put baby & the crib in your room. Not... with your son.
Then baby will not disturb your son and you won't have to worry about it.

Lack of sleep for your son, would also be not good for him. It makes the child fussy.

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answers from Spartanburg on

Instead of letting her cry, why don't you just cuddle her and reassure her until she feels comfortable? Whatever the reason, if she cries, she needs you.

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answers from Redding on

Have you tried letting her cry.... maybe it wont wake your son up? 3 yr olds sleep pretty soundly.Mine wouldnt even wake up if the smoke alarm was going off.

Maybe her crib mattress is uncomfortable and that's one of the causes of her waking in the night when in the crib.... or some other environmental issue like too cold or too hot or too light in the bedroom.



answers from Detroit on

Good luck! That never worked for us, it just ended with our son and everyone else not sleeping. We woke up and fed our daughter until we moved and she got her own room. This happened when she was 16 months old, and she has slept through the night since she got her own room. Good luck!!! I would try the sleep over thing (son downstairs) for a few nights to get her pas the hump.



answers from New York on

Can't speak from personal experience, as we only have one child. However, I would recommend that you make a decision and be consistent re: CIO. If you pick her up when you put her in the crib, you are essentially sending mixed messages, and it will take her longer for her to learn how to get back to sleep.

1. does she actually disturb your son? if not, let her cry it out in the crib.
2. can you leave her in the pack and play for another two weeks or so and make sure she really has the sleeping through thing down pat? then move her to the crib?
3. if she disturbs your son, can you relocate him for a week or two until your daughter learns to sleep through the night in her crib?

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.



answers from Columbia on

weekend campout for the son! sleeping bag in the living room - and he can help his sister get used to her room by having it to herself for a couple nights.

You let her CIO in the room a couple nights, and voila - two perfect co-sleepers! :)


answers from Pocatello on

I wonder if one of the reasons she cries when she is in the same room as your son because she can see him when she wakes? Or maybe sometimes your son snores, talks/makes noises in his sleep or thrashes around a lot which wakes her up? This is what I would try; I would first put my 2 year old to bed somewhere else for a few nights and let your 9 month old sleep alone in her crib in their bedroom. If you don't have another bedroom to put your son in I would let him fall asleep in your room then when you go to bed move him to the living room or somewhere else. Do this for a week or so just to make sure you 9 month old is used to sleeping in her crib and is sleeping through the night, this will also allow you to let her cio if need be. Then try moving your son back into the room. If she starts waking again you might need to get a sound machine. It makes white noise and would help block any sounds your son might be making in his sleep. If after that she is still waking up then try moving your sons bed so she can't see him. If all else fails I would probably move my 3 year old some where else for a while, just until she gets a little older and is sleeping better. I read once that one of the worst times to sleep train is between the months 7-11. Once they hit 12 months they do a lot better. So in a few more months she might be sleeping more soundly for you.



answers from St. Cloud on

I haven't experienced room sharing yet, but will soon enough. You know your daughter's needs more than anyone else, so if CIO works, then go for it. :P I would try having your son change rooms for a week or so. Then you can let her CIO without disturbing anyone. He'll probably be fine with a little change, especially if you make it fun and make it known that he's helping her learn to sleep like him :) Best of luck!!



answers from Savannah on

One thing that no ones has touched upon is that the reason she wakes might be because she is more comfortable sleeping in the pack and play instead of the crib. I would try having her sleep in the pack and play in the room with her brother. Maybe that would help her feel more like she is sleeping in the same place each time. I also like the idea of having your son sleep elsewhere for a few days, since you have already found out that CIO does work for your daughter. Good luck!

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