9 Month Old Who Will Not Sleep Through the Night

As a mom of two kids, I couldn't agree more with the reply to get the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." It's dense, but research based and really does work. I think he'd say that she doesn't need to eat and that it's become a habit. He offers a few methods for breaking the habit. Realize that it might get a little harder before it gets easier, but it will work. Good luck.

She is still so little. My son who is 14 months still wakes up one or two times a night to nurse, they nurse for many more reasons then just hunger. Cherish this time, in a few years she will be sleeping through the night and you will be struggling to wake her in the morning for school!

I just got my 10 month old to finally sleep through the night, so I can relate. I took him to see Dr. Richard Ferber (of the famous Ferber method), which helped somewhat. What really helped was decreasing the amount of formula I was feeding him at night by 1 oz per night. He did cry a bit the first couple of nights, but by the 4th night he wasn't even looking for the night-time feed anymore. I would just pick him up for a few minutes, rock him and then put him right back down while he was still awake. he was frustrated at first but soon stopped calling for me to soothe him. We've now had 2 straight weeks of sleeping for 9 hours straight. Hope that helps. But Seeing Dr. Ferber, who is at Children's Hospital Boston/Waltham should be helpful as well. Good luck.

S.-

You need to figure out what is important to you. If the no sleep issue is really getting to you then you need to do something about it. If you are comfortable with letting her cry it out I suggest you go to your library and take out The Ferber Method. I did this with both of my children and they did not/do not feel abandoned by me. It is hard at first but you will need the full support of your husband because it will be a tough few nights and you both need to be in full agreement about this before you start. Because once you start there is no turning back, it will just confuse your daughter even more. It may take a few days, it maky take up to 2 weeks (I have never heard of it takling this long though). But it is what worked the best for both of kids. You don't want to replace the feedings with a bottle or a pacifier because then that is just another habit that you will have to break in the future. My son would not take a pacifier up until he was one and then my 4 year old daughter found one and decided to give it to him now he has to sleep with one in his mouth and one in each hand. I am NOT looking forward to having to get rid of it!

Good luck!

Have you tried a pacifier?

I, too, had my daughter waking up to feed in the middle of the night but I had to break that habit. It isn't easy but you need to make sure she has had enough to eat before she goes to bed and to break her of the habit of wanting to eat in the middle of the night. It will take a few nights but I think you will be happy with the outcome! Good luck!

Not sure if you have tried this one yet, but possibly nursing her a few times during the evening? And stretching the bed time a 1/2 later. My daughter nursed for 13 mos. and did the same (not wanting a bottle or cup at night) just wanted to be nursed. I found these cluster evening feedings helped. Obviously I was told to let her cry...but that wasn't an option for me. HOpe you get some other good advice. Sleep is very important!

We coslept until my daughter was about five, so my daughter nursed on demand...and I can tell you that at 9 months, she was still nursing in the middle of the night. At 9 months, your daughter can't be eating a lot of solids - does she nurse still? Their stomachs are still so little, the food does digest quickly...she really COULD be hungry at this point. Is it a big problem? Can you have her in your room so you can just nurse her or give her a bottle? I would try...all this talk of "breaking" habits that are most likely there for a reason (9 month olds are SUPPOSED to see their parents as comfort & food sources!) is very sad - and the crying it out just makes the babe upset. Crying it out is not selfsoothing, those are two different concepts - and the momma can tell the difference. :) Good Luck!

Hello S.-

The only thing I found that worked was letting the baby cry it out. We did this when our son was a baby and we had another on the way. The first night was rough, the second not so bad, and by the third night-no crying at all. The key is when your daughter is crying don't go into her room, just let her cry it out. I know this sounds harsh, but it does work.

Good luck and be strong.

Can you try sending Steve in when she gets up? That always helps with us-we have had and occasionally still have the same issue. Have him give her a little water perhaps. If you nurse her to sleep in general, you may want to try stopping that so she learns to put herself to sleep, especially during the night. Letting her cry it out would help too, but that's hard! It usually does work though-it may take a few nights. Good luck!

Hi S. -

You've had plenty of people respond with lots of different opinions. This is a tough situation not matter what you do and agreeing to how you do it can be even tougher. One thing to remember is that your child can and should get solid sleep for even up to 13 hours. As everyone has said, they don't need the food. The best, and healthiest thing for your child's development is sleep, needless to say for you and your relationship. I have three boys. One learned to sleep on his own. The other two I had to train. You could read two good sleep books, one by Weissbluth the other Ferber. They have different approaches. Bottom line for us, my husband couldn't take it. We'd end up fighting all night when the kids cried. I sent him away and just let them cry. And then they stopped. Hard to do, but life changing! People are amazed now how long my kids sleep. Also one other thing. I know people who didn't sleep train and their four year olds are still getting up at night multiple times (glass of water, covers a mess, you name it!)

My son is 9 1/2 months and is just starting to sleep through the night. As per everyone's advice, they do NOT need a nighttime feeding at this age, even as early as 6 months or so. I am not a big fan of the cry it out, so we started eliminating the feeding, but still went to him, gave him a pacifier, and rocked him. After doing that pretty consistently we got him off the night feedings, and then just had to work on him soothing himself back to sleep. It's still a crapshoot if he'll go all the way through (he did last night, yay!), but I think he's starting to get better at it.

Hi S.!
I also have a 9 month old, my first, who has not been sleeping through the night. Are you certain that she is not teething? Is this new or has she been a chronic insomniac? My son was going through the night and then he started teething at about 7 months and each time he is cutting a tooth he wakes up every 3 hours until it is through (usually 4-5 days)!! I breastfeed him too, but only at night now, as we are slowly weaning. Our pediatrician said that when they teethe, they look to suck (on anything!!) to relieve the pain. Does she take a pacifier? When our little guy isn't teething, when he wakes I pick him up and cuddle him and he falls back down. These are all just ideas, sorry if I am no help!!!!
L.

Hi there,
I am a mom of 6, soon to be 7, and we've had our share of sleep issues. I read everything I could get my hands on, and finally in my hour of desperation, my pediatrician recommended the book that saved my sanity: "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child," by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. We have used it over and over with our other children, too. And since you are a stay at home mom, you have the advantage of being able to provide daytime consistency, which is the first key to getting nightime consistency. This book had some approaches that were opposite to what my common sense told me, but it worked like a charm, and it walks you through step by step. Do yourself a favor and get a copy. Good luck to you -- there's nothing worse than trying to function all day with the kids when you're not getting adequate sleep at night.

Hi Ami and Steve,
My son did the same thing for about 8-9 months, until I did something about it (I HAD to - I was exhausted!!!). At first I thought it was a growth spurt, but he came to expect the bottle. So, I picked a Friday night to stop. I offered him water in a bottle and he refused. He cried for about an hour, the next night I changed him then back to bed and cried for about 45 min, the 3rd night he cried for about a half hour...then guess what - he didn't bother to wake up the forth night. It was tough, esp since my husband works 3rd shift and wasn't home, but I just read a book until he settled down. That was over almost 2 months ago and he is back to sleeping 6pm-6am without a single waking. I know this sounds tough, but it is worth it! Good luck and hang in there!

my daughter's doctor told me that no matter what you do do not feed her after dinner after she is 7 months old. He said that she did not need to feed in the night anymore it was just a pattern. He also told me that she will not starve herself so if she is only offered a sippy cup she will get hungry enough to take it. After one night of crying she sleeps 12 hours every night.

Maybe your daughter is waking up but having trouble soothing herself back to sleep without the breastfeeding? Does she have a pacifier? My daughter only had a pacifier at night. We would hear her wake up and once she found the pacifier in her bed she was able to go to sleep on her own. Once she was 12 months we were able to take the pacifier away.

When that was happening with my son, I had to send my husband into comfort him/settle him back to sleep when he cried at night (I didn't want him to smell the "food") :) Work on getting rid of one feeding at a time. If your daughter goes to bed at 7 and wakes up at 11 to nurse, eliminate that one first... getting rid of the 3am feeding is easier after that! Good luck!
It just took a couple of days to get rid of each feeding!

Ami,
Our son went through the same thing at night. I talked with our doctor and she said that he was getting dependent on me or my husband and that he was only seeing us as his comfort and source of food, she said to give him a small snack about an hour before he goes to bed and something to drink and then when he wakes up let him cry it out. Check on him the first time and tell him it is okay and he will be fine give him a drink of water and go out of the room, turn on some music and let him cry it out. It does upset the house but he figured it out and now sleeps through the night. He was 18 months before he did it and I talked with other moms and they did the same thing.
I hope this helps, and good luck
(p.s. do it onthe weekend and if oyu have any other children send them to a friends house or grandmas for the weekend) it helps.
S. Bacon

I'm sorry to tell you this but I had the same problem and my daughter is 15 mo and was small at 9mo 14lbs and my pedetrician said, just stop feeding her. Eventually 2 nights I went in to check on her only for a min or two and left and within 3 nights she'd soothe herself back to sleep. Your daughter is just waking and looking to eat out of habit. It is short lived but just think in less than a week you can sleep through the night!

My daughter is 14 months and still wakes at 4 am to nurse.

watch the clock...by this i mean if she eats for 10mins, then the next time you feed her to 8mins, then 6 until her stomach isn't "expecting" the milk anymore. i did this and it worked well at 5 months. think of it this way, when you all the sudden diet and cut down, your starving but once your body gets used to it, you adjust. well if you slowly feed her for less minutes her body should naturally adjust to the smaller ammounts of milk. i wouldn't go cold turkey, because like i said her stomach is waking her up because it's used to getting it. but at 9 months she doesn't "need" it. good luck.