9 Month Old Sleep Help!

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say, she's only 9 months old! She's still a baby. For God's sake, comfort the child. So you have to sleep in a recliner with her on your chest until she goes back to sleep and you can put her in her crib. Everybody's happy, everybody gets sleep. It's been said a thousand times, and this makes a thousand and one, but they're only babies for a little while. Hold them while you can, because pretty soon it will be, "Mom, get off me!" Wanting to sleep near the people they love isn't being spoiled, it's wanting to be secure. Sure, they should be able to self-comfort eventually, but if your kid is screaming for 45 minutes, it's got to be more traumatic for them than for you, because they're the ones screaming for comfort. In fact, if you did the same thing to an invalid adult that couldn't do anything for themselves, it would be considered abuse to let them call for you for 45 minutes, or until they just gave up. So you don't get quite as much sleep. Is it worth hearing your baby scream?

I'm not saying you're a bad mother if you let her cry. And nobody else is a bad parent for letting their kids cry it out either. But personally, I'd rather hold and comfort my baby than let them wail. You do what's right for you. When you get to the point that you're saying "I'm going to fling myself (or this baby!) out the window if I don't get some sleeeeeeep!", then you have to do whatever it takes. You can't just go and go and go until you have a breakdown. Do what works.

And as far as I'm concerned about co-sleeping, there's plenty of time to get them to sleep in their own bed. When they're older, they'll understand better why they need to sleep in their own bed. That doesn't mean they'll LIKE it, and yeah, you'll have a bunch o' trouble, but I've never met a kid that just goes to bed and falls asleep without some kind of fuss anyway. ;-) That's what I'd do.

Good luck, girlfriend! I'll be prayin' for ya, and sending you a bunch of "sleepy baby" vibes!

xo,

AJ

PS-tell your husband to go jump in the lake. It's YOUR fault...riiiight. Tell him if he's ever injured and can't get out of bed, you're going to do the same thing to him and see how he likes it!

We are a cosleeping family and it works great for us. Listening to my baby cry is torture for me and also caused a lot of stress between dh and I. You have to do what works for you and if co-sleeping is not an option then I do recommend reading one of the gentler sleep books, like The No Cry Sleep Solution. I would not recommend the Ferber Method - Ferber himself has recounted his method saying something like "I wish I had know then what I know now..."

Also, I have a 4 yo and 1 yo - the 4 yo has been in his own bed since around 18 mos with NO problem transitioning. They don't stay in your bed forever! Good luck mama!

I don't know what's going on. Teething? An ear infection? Nine months seems a little young for night terrors, but maybe...

45 minutes of listening to her cry! I'm not surprised that you wept and your husband was upset. That would be exceedingly, exceedingly stressful. Biologically, the baby's cry raises the parents blood pressure and all sorts of things. It's designed to stress us out so we'll tend to the baby to make it stop.

I just want to put in a vote for letting her sleep with you. My story: Our son woke up 2 or 3 (or 4!) times a night for nursing/cuddles from the get-go. We were determined not to give him bad sleep habits, so I'd drag my butt out of the bed everytime and resettle him in his crib. We half-heartedly tried sleep training methods, but hearing him cry was going to turn all my hair gray. It was easier to just nurse him already than listen to him cry. We finally gave up at around 10 months. I work full time and was just too exhausted to keep getting up all night. So I brought him to bed with us. We slept sooooo much better that it was worth it. Turned out his issue was a nighttime separation anxiety thing. Which he grew out of all by himself eventually. I could nearly nurse him in my sleep if he woke up, so it became a non-issue. I was glad that I didn't ignore him at night, like he stops needing his mama when the sun goes down or something. And, because we both work out of the home, it was really nice to be able to rebond with him at night. We ended up loving sleeping next to him. It broke my heart when he moved to his own bed (he's two now). But he sleeps through fine now and is too rowdy a sleeper (rolls around a lot) to keep in our bed with the new baby. Yeah, that's right. I got pregnant again, so clearly not interrupting my husband and I's married activities, despite what people say about co-sleeping... So I'd suggest putting her down like usual, and the first time she wakes up, after you guys have gone to bed, just tuck her in with you. That way you both get what you need at night. Sleep! Cause you got to do what works, even if it's unconventional.

Climbing off my soapbox now!

She is more aware of her surroundings now. And she is able to have nightmares. With my first, I would hold her and comfort her, reassuring her that mommy and daddy are always here. Then we let her sleep with us because everyone needed rest.

Your husband needs to relax. He doesn't need to get mad, he needs to do some reading to understand the baby.

you should've trusted your gut and told your husband that until his "motherly instincts" kick-in, be quiet. The first year, the child is developing TRUST, not just in you, but the same trust they will show their loved ones later in life, I know it's hard to believe, but in researching attachment disorders, I've discovered the first 3 years are most important, but the 1st year is crucial! Both of my boys went through the same thing, teething usually makes it tougher to sleep, so that may be the reason, but pick her up and hold her, fall asleep with her in your arms!! It will only do good, and both of my boys are in their own beds every night, no problems (15 months and 3) and they both slept with me for the first year. I believe the more you touch them the first year, the better -- round the clock. good luck, I know a lot of people say to let them cry it out, but I have no problem telling them that "If I feel COMPELLED to pick up my child, there must be a reason for it."

I am an advocate, like Jaime H above, for the family bed. My husband and I had planned to be co-sleepers before our child was even born. Our plans turned out to be just the right fit: our daughter was born 3 weeks prematurely and seemed to need almost-constant human contact. (Luckily I work from home and could wear her in a sling as I worked on my laptop!) After two years of co-sleeping, my family agrees that they have never seen a more contented and self-confident and generous young child. Is that ALL the result of co-sleeping? Of course not. But the security she felt from immediate reassurance must have been a part of that.

I realize that co-sleeping isn't for everyone. But before you write it off, consider it. When our daughter was about six months old, a friend introduced us to books by Dr. Sears, and we have found them to be an exact explanation and validation of our experiences.

My almost 9 month old has been doing the same thing for 2 months now. It's because of her discomfort from teething. Nothing has really kept her from waking up at night but night time baby Orajel has helped keep her asleep longer. On days when her teething seems really bad (lots of drooling and chewing) I will give her Tylenol before bed which helps some as well.

I always put on a musical lullaby cd for my daughter. I put her to bed with it playing and if she wakes up I start it again. Is she cutting teeth? Try giving her just a little bit of Tylenol on her gums or teething tablets.

With my son (3), we put stability blocks in the crib and didn't have too many problems with him because he liked being touched. Also, we did the classical music on the CD player on repeat. I would go in and talk to our son to let him know that we didn't leave him and that it was okay, but after the first couple of nights, I didn't pick him up. (I don't remember what book I got the method from.) Each time he got up in the night, we would wait a little longer to go in to comfort him. He knew we were there, but it also taught him that it was time to sleep.

I'm with the other ladies on getting your baby checked out for ear infections, but I personally am NOT a supporter of "the family bed."

It sounds to me like she is old enough to have separation anxiety and she is having a really hard time being away from you and your husband at night. And you are tuned in to your inner mama, who is upset to hear the baby cry. Of course we are not programmed biologically to let our infants cry, yet our culture continues to tell us that it is normal and okay to sleep train and cry it out. So we have conflict between what our hearts are telling us and what the latest Parenting magazine or our pediatrician (who has no training in infant sleep, only in diseases and injuries!) are telling us.

Our family cosleeps. If you are interested in learning about cosleeping from a scientific perspective (instead of from the crib manufacturers and their political lobbyists) google James McKenna. He's done a lot of research on infant sleep and cosleeping.

I hope you find a solution that works for your family.

First off I do not belive in allowing a child to cry. Throwing a fit is different and if she isn't throwing a fit (you will know a fit when you see one) then comfort your baby! Your husbabnd needs to relize that this is really hard and you need his love and support as well as your daughter needs him too. I think that co-sleeping is a wonderful thing we did it with my oldest and now we do it with the baby. ( he has a cradle next to the bed but rarely uses it). Your daughter is at the age that she can be having seaperation anxity, and sleeping with her is a great way to comfort her. If your husband does not want her in the bed then tell him to sleep on the couch as he is a grown man and she is a baby and her needs out weights his. And most of all it is not your fault.

I too have dealt with this and it is very difficult...especially when you are wanting nothing else but sleep. I would first of all make sure she isn't teething or has no other ailments like reflux...Especially with my youngest child, teething has always caused major disturbances in his sleep.

Secondly, I would make sure she isn't getting too much nap time during the day...this can cause little ones not to want to sleep thru the night. If you feel all is well with her, then I have two words: TOUGH LOVE. You will find that if you let her cry it out for a few nights, it will become less and less frequent until she eventually learns Mom & Dad aren't coming to the rescue and she will sleep through the night.

There are books that help with the approach but I believe checking on her after 15 minutes of crying, then stretching the time out further and further each time...and go in, reassure her, in a gentle but firm voice to go to sleep...but don't pick her up or turn on the lights.

I promise this isn't easy, I still have a hard time practicing the tough love at night but in the long run it will be beneficial you all of you because everyone will end up getting a good nights rest. And tell that husband if he can't deal with it, to find a hotel room until you get things under control.

I have a now six year old son who used to do the same thing. My husband blamed me too. I thought he'd never sleep by himself. We started sitting on the floor in the room next to the crib (close the door or leave it cracked) and every couple of days gradually get closer to the door until at last we were sitting outside the door. It worked. Also, letting them cry like you did is fine. She will gradually cry less and less. At least that was the way it went with my Daughter...she did not have sleep issues until after she turned three and she decided she wasn't ready to go to bed. We just put her in and let her cry and it was a good 45min-1hr worth of crying, but she went to sleep on her own. Now at 3 1/2, when she pitches a fit about bedtime - I take away something like her Dora movies that she loves...TV in the morning. That seems to work pretty good. (I know that's not for you now, but FYI for the future.) Hope you get it worked out. K.

My daughter did the same thing when she was that age. I found that if I went into her room and rocked her, sang to her and rubbed her back that she would slowly settle down. Then she would fall asleep in my arms and I would gradually stop something, first stop rubbing her back, then stop singing, then stop rocking. Then I could put her back in her crib, give her the pacificer and she would go back to sleep.

I asked my pediatrician about it because I thought it was night terrors because she always seemed scared. He told me that she was just starting to realize that she is a seperate person from me and would wake up and want me close to her. He said she would grow out of it and she did. Good luck!

Hi E.-I am a mother to 4 and the oldest is turning 6 in a few weeks and I have never co-slept with any of them more then a night or two.
#1-She is getting older and may get hungry quicker. Try feeding a bowl of cereal (rice or oatmeal) before bed. This will fill her up for the night.
#2-When she starts to cry, go in check on her, reassure her and comfort her but don't pick her up.
Those have always been my two top things to do. It won't hurt her to cry and it will get better with time. Try a night light if you don't already have one. Soft music or white noise.
She may be a little young for this one yet and I am sure many would say no to this but each of my kids have a T.V. in their room. Only hooked up to VCR, no cable or regular T.V. They lay down at night get a 30 Barney, Wiggles, etc. video popped in and they are usually asleep in about 10 min. Then in the middle of the night if one wakes, just push in the video and they are off to sleep in a few minutes. Just an idea!
Good luck!!!

Hi! My first child did the same exact thing. He slept through the night by the time that he was 3 months old and then at like 7-8 months he would wake up crying all of the time throughout the night. We figured out that the main reason that he was doing this was separation anxiety. The books I have read say that when kids hit this age they tend to have separation anxiety and a lot of time its when they start crawling. With our son we let him cry it out and going to check on him every 10 minutes or so. It is very hard to do. I would end up crying half the time, but eventually it seemed to work. Within a couple of weeks he would only cry for a few minutes and then drift off. Good Luck

I went through this with both of my kids, though both of them were a little older than 9 months. Hard as it is, the only way to get through this is to let her cry it out. (45 minutes is not that bad -- my would usually last at least an hour and I have another friend who went through this with her youngest for two hours a night for several weeks!) When she starts, go in, lay her down in her crib, offer her her pacifier, pat her back for a minute or two, then say good night and leave the room. (Do NOT take her out of the crib unless you think she might need a diaper change!) Wait 10-15 minutes and repeat the process. After the second time, I usually didn't go back in my kids' rooms until I hadn't heard anything for at least 10 minutes. Then I would go in to make sure that they were OK and covered. I was probably lucky -- two or three nights of this was all it took to get the message across. It might take longer than that for you, but if you are consistent, it will work.

Your sweet baby girl is going through a phase. It starts at about 9 months old and may last for a couple of months. With my first child (who's now 11) I put her in the bed with us. They really are only this little one time! If Hubby doesn't object, let her sleep with you. You can deal with getting her out later. With my second (who's 8), we let her cry it out. It was excruciating. But, for her and us it was the best thing. This went on for only a couple of weeks. I bought her a cd player and put a soothing cd on repeat, she responded well to this. With my son (who's 6) I did both ways. I tried to let him cry it out, but after 2 weeks of constant night interruptions, I was exhausted and our bed won out again. The biggest thing is you have to figure out what's best for all of you. I agree with the other moms, you do need to rule out ear infections and teething,as it is a peak time for both of those ailments. Good Luck!

it seems like our little boy did this around this age. We did the Ferber Method. It took a few days to get him back into the routine, but it was well worth the few nights of interuppted sleep. Ferber Method: Do what you've done...go in room quietly pat on back/quietly say it's okay (whatever you want) just to reassure you are there, then leave the room. Wait five minutes....go back do the same.....leave wait 10 minutes. Keep doing this waiting five minutes longer than the time before as long as they are still crying. Yes, it's a lot of up and down. But trust me after a few nights of this, it is worth it. Your little one is in the habit of waking up and depending on your to put her back to sleep by patting her back. I am a stay at home mom so I am the one who would get up and do this. My husband and I would put pillows over our heads to drown out the noise. My husband was very supportive of not getting in the habit of getting him out, holding him, etc. So that was real helpful as well. Both parents have to be on board for this otherwise, one will cave and it makes it hard for the other to inforce. You may want to do it over a weekend if you have to work the next day. Like I said, give a few days, maybe week. You'll see results if you stick to it. Let me know if it works!!!!! Good luck!

I had the same problem with my son, I would take him to the doctors and they would say it was that his stomach was hurting him.. so it might be that her stomach not liking her milk.. I would see if her stomach is tight when she starts having a fit and if so then until you get her on a different milk then get the vacum cleaner and start it , she want cry anymore that sound will sooth her.. If she is quite then it is her stomach that is causing her t wake up in the middle of the night...

Well, your husband is sorta right; you're daughter has "trained" you to respond to her cries the instant she belts out. You have to retrain her, and yourself, to sleep through the nite again. Is she hungry, needs a bottle? If this is not the problem, the best thing to do is let her self-soothe, and it's never too late to start. It's ok to feel upset about this, but if you stick to your guns, soon she will be sleeping through the night again. And don't let hubby make you feel guilty, cause you are doing the right thing by going to her, just wait a lil while before running to her side, she might just fall back to sleep.

Hi! When my son was about 7 months old, we started letting him cry himself to sleep because of the same things you're describing. You didn't say if you rock her to sleep, but if you do, I think you should stop so that she knows how to put herself to sleep. It's really hard. the first night my son cried for an hour- I would go up every 5, 7, 10 minutes, and he'd just get more riled up. I know it feels like forever, but within a week my son was only grying for about 5 minutes. After 2 weeks of that he now just plays with his blanket and falls asleep. I know a lot of people put 8 or so pacifiers in the crib with their kids (myself included). The theory is that if they wake up they'll be able to find one on their own and not wake completely up to the point where they're crying for you. Good luck! K.

E.,
First of all...your husband should not blame you!!! This was out of order!
Second of all...let her cry it out is EXACTLY what you should have done. It might take a few nights, but continue with this process. It will work.

My son has always been a good sleeper. When he is sick though he tends to get up at night and cry. Because he is sick we go in an hold him. Then when he gets better he expects us to do the same thing when he gets up at night. We always have a couple of "habit breaking" nights where we eventually have to let him cry it out. There is not other way. Last time this happened, my son had the flu. As he got better he started insisting I hold him while he slept. If I put him down he'd cry and cry. His bedtime is 7:30pm, the last two nights he did this he was up until 9:30 and 10:30 because he wanted me to hold him. The second night I brought him into the bed with me because I wanted sleep. He wiggle and fussed to get comfortable. So my husband picked up him and put him in the crib and shut the door. He cried for 30 minutes and finally went to sleep. I cried and was mad at my husband. But you know what, the next night he went to bed ontime with no problems. He was so tired. Since then we haven't had another problem. I'm telling you, you did the right thing! Let her cry it out. (You might check to make sure she isn't hurt or wet).

Growth spurts can cause them to get hungry during the night, but you don't want to start feeding during the night again or it won't stop. If she seems extra hungry at night, maybe give her extra milk or a snack before you put her down.

Good luck...again, you did the right thing. Let her cry it out!

E., I feel so bad for you. I went through the exact same thing! I know what I did wrong. I used to let my first born sleep in our bed or on my chest or in my arms all the time, even after nursing. He grew accustomed to falling asleep in my arms. When we tried putting him down at night, he would cry and bang on his crib, screaming. It took a couple of weeks of laying him down while singing a lullaby, smiling while wishing a good night's sleep and turning on a night light, but he got the idea. You're doing the right thing! It just takes PATIENCE and REPETITION. Bedtime should never be tense or a fight. Who in their right mind would look forward to that every night? Please don't feel bad. It's necessary for their development to learn to comfort themselves. Our second child was so easy to put to bed because we learned well what not to do with the first. Good luck!

The first night is always the worst when you let them cry. She is old enough to put the pacifier back in, and settle herself for sleeping. She CAN do this! Be patient with yourself and do not feel guilty. This is a normal stage. Once she adjusts to not getting to call all the shots (she screams - you come running no matter what time), she will settle down. All 3 of mine did the same thing. I remember crying the first night we let my first born cry it out. It broke my heart. But it did not last as long the next night, and it was shorter the next. Within a week, she was putting herself back to sleep. Now my other two took a little longer than a week - both are more stubborn:). They all sleep pretty well now. Hang in there!

I am a mother of 3 and I came across a book called " the Lull-A-Baby Sleep Plan". I used it with my 15 month old daughter when she was about 4 months old and it worked beautifully. It teaches you how to teach your baby to go to sleep on her own and guide herself back to sleep in the middle of the night when she wakes up. I swear by this book. Give it a try.

K. L

I have a ten month old and I totally identify with you! It's very hard to listen to him cry. I got the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" at a friends suggestion and I really like it. It's a little scientific, but the author does a good job of explaining how sleep cycles work and how to get your child of all ages to sleep. He also talks about how it's okay to let them cry; it's not hurting them at all. Just be consistent what ever you do. Also, I notice that my son is more clingy when he's getting a tooth, and he wants to be held alot while he sleeps. Could she be teething? If so, Hyland's teething tablets work wonders! You can get them at Walmart. Hope that helps!

Don't switch tactics!!! Keep letting her cry it out. One of the biggest reasons that it takes so long to help kids learn to fall asleep on their own is because parents keep trying different things without giving the current tactic enough time to work. You'll just be setting yourself up for more bedtime drama if you keep chaging things up.

I really feel for you. We had sleep issues with our first child, and Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth was a life saver. I know it's hard to listen to your baby cry, but she is absolutely okay--she's just mad! :) Really. Put on some headphones or earplugs so the crying isn't so in your face, and then leave her alone. You know she is truly fine. She's not crying because she feels abandoned or scared. She's really just mad because she'd rather have you around to help her out and do her work for her. But the best help you can give her is the chance to learn to fall asleep on her own. And even though it's hard to sit through now, it will only get worse to deal with as she gets older.

Letting her cry it out will not solve the problem over night. It does take a few days, but think about it--you're already one 45-minute scream fest down! And your daughter DID go to sleep--ALL ON HER OWN. So you know she can do it (she just doesn't want to). And she's totally fine and woke up the next morning as if nothing happened, right?

Once you stick this out and it's all over, you'll wish you had done it sooner--I have yet to meet another mom with the same problem who doesn't feel that way. Hang in there! :)

It will get better. The 45 minutes will go down to 15 and soon it will be instant. Your child is progressing well, it sounds. The only thing that will hinder her is your emotions. Listen to your husband and draw your strength from him. You have to let her learn how to comfort herself or you will be writing in soon, "My 2 year old will not sleep in her own bed and it is taking a toll on my marriage." You husband will be mad at you, with reason and you might be mad at your self, futilely, because the damage is already done. I wish you wrote in when she was 6 months old, because the earlier, the better, but not too early. I was having the same problem as you and my sister, a pediatrician, told me "I've never heard of a child dying due to crying, let him cry." She told me to make sure the crib is empty so he won't hurt himself and I can worry less, leave the door cracked so I can sneak in without him knowing just to see how he's doing and comfort myself, and turn off the monitor so the crying will not effect me. I did this and now he will fall asleep while being carried to his bed.

Also try the "Happiest Baby on the Block" it comes as a dvd and as a book. My girl friend got the dvd and says she likes it better than the book. I got the book and it was great also.

Good Luck and God Bless.
P.S. Remember you may have given birth to her, but without your husband it would not have been possible. Care for her, put him first on the totem pole and everything will work itself out. He is your partner not the enemy.

Hi! I have a 6 month old daughter and have beeen obsessed with getting her to sleep well. I have read 2 books-Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Chid-Dr. Weissbluth and Sleeping through the night-Jodi Mindell. Both books gave me good hints and tips. If it makes you feel better, they both recommend letting your child learn to fall asleep on his/her own. Hope the books help!

E.,
You might try reading the book Baby Wise. I know that 45 min is very painful to listen to but tonight it will be about the same maybe a little less and every night it will get better. Just go in and make sure she is ok settle her down and walk out of the room if it takes watching tv or doing the dishes let her go back to sleep on her own because standing there neither you or your husband will get any sleep and your daughter has to learn how to put herself back to sleep. I have a 2year old who would only sleep if I held her after 2 to 3 months I moved her to the swing to sleep because I could not function anymore at 5 months I moved her to crib I would sing her a song rub her back and say a pray put her down and walk out I went in every 10 min to settle her back down and then I would walk out again it took about a week but after that she would take a nap with no problem and since about 16 months she has been telling us when she is ready for her nap and bedtime. She just started sleeping all night long but if she wakes it is normally because of a wet diaper or if not I just make sure she is ok and cover her back up and walk out. Good Luck

First of all, don't listen to your husband on this...and I would usually never say something like that. I am always for the husband and wife (mommy and daddy) being on the same page. Sounds like to me he was just angry and said something out of exhaustion. Men have different ways of dealing with things...lots of times it includes blame.

ANYWAYS, I would check for ear infections first! My son has chronic infections. We are on #7 in 3 months. He gets tubes Friday. Also, check for teeth coming in. These 2 things are quite painful for babies. I would hate to see any baby have to cry/scream alone when in fact they are hurting and in need of someone holding them! This is why I hate the cry-it-out methods. Parents really have no idea what may be wrong with the baby, but assume they are just fighting sleep or don't want to sleep. My husband and I have had no more than 5 hours of broken sleep a night in the last 3 months due to the ear infections.

Try a full dose of Tylenol or Motrin and see if it helps. If it does, you will know that something is hurting that is causing the waking.

My other two suggestions: is to check for overtiredness/over stimulation or seperation anxiety that can kick in at this age. An overtired baby does not sleep as well as a rested one. Maybe she needs to go to bed earlier or be on a different nap schedule. To help with the seperation anxiety try putting something that smells like you in her crib. Also try a sound machine, soft music, or a fan in her room to keep her lulled into sleep.

Please don't blame yourself for this. I have heard so many parents say that their babies who have slept through the night often start night-waking at this age. Just be glad you've had several "good" months. My baby is 10.5 months old and had never slept through the night. He's always been up at least 2 times per night, and when the ear infections are really bad, its more like 5-7.

Good luck!!

E.,

I agree with some of what the other ladies said. It could be teething, in which case I would recommend Hyland's Homeopathic Teething Tablets over Tylenol or Motrin, just because I prefer the natural. It could be ear infections; only your doctor can verify that. Ear infections typically cause more pain when the baby is lying down, which is why sometimes the only symptom can be fussiness or difficulty sleeping. Or it could be separation anxiety. Everyone told me that separation anxiety would come at around 9 months (my daughter is almost 9 months, but she went through it at 4 months - it may come again). I think it was Chastity (previous post) who said to put something that smells like you in the crib. Try putting the shirt that you wore that day in the crib at night and see if that helps. You could also just try rocking her to sleep for a while and then after a few days slowly start putting her in her crib to sleep to get her used to that again. If it is separation anxiety, it will pass and she'll start sleeping through the night again when it does. I am opposed to the cry-it-out method completely. I think babies are trying to tell us something when they are crying and I think it's our responsibility to figure it out. The only way to do that is by trial and error. Especially since your daughter was sleeping through the night and is now having difficulty, she seems to be communicating to you that something is wrong.

My daughter occasionally wakes up crying in the night and is wide awake when I calm her down. I have found that if I sit with her in her room with the lights off (a hall light on so it is dim) and let her play with me for a few minutes (without toys, just with my hands or whatever), I can usually start holding her more closely and then give her a pacifier. I hold her for a few minutes with her pacifier in and then she'll lay back down and go to sleep on her own. I have started to think that maybe she is having nightmares and just needs a few minutes of comfort in order to settle down and go back to sleep. It would be difficult, if not impossible, for her to differentiate what is real and what is a dream at this age.

Anyway, those are some things to think about. You will get lots of good advice, but just know that you are the one who knows your daughter the best. After hearing what everyone says, go with your gut. That's usually the right answer.

A.

I know it is hard, but the only thing you can do is let her cry it out. When she first starts to cry, go in and tell her that it is time to sleep, make sure she has her pacifier and make sure she is dry. Then leave the room. The first night will be the worst. Every night after that should be better. Does she have a night light? If not, make sure you get one. It shouldn't take more than about a week and she should realise that crying isn't getting her what she wants and she will learn to roll over and go back to sleep.

E., is she having any problems with the formula she's getting? Does she regurgitate, or burb a lot? If the formula is causing gas pains when she goes to sleep at night, this would cause her to cry excessively. Many babies are very sensitive to certain ingredients used. Call your ped nurse; she may be able to offer some suggestions. D. G

Do you think that maybe she has an ear infection? My son is 9 mos old and he will not sleep all night. He is on his 4th ear infection. I know that will keep them up. I know how it feels to just let the baby cry. I can only hold out for about 10 mins and I will give in. It is hardwork being a good mom. Always remember, you can't go wrong when you are doing your very best for your baby. lol