9-Week Old Refusing to Accept a Bottle

Updated on May 04, 2009
L.B. asks from Milton, MA
14 answers

My nine week old daughter has suddenly started to refuse accepting a bottle. We introduced a bottle, once daily, at 2-weeks of age, per the recommendation of our pediatrician. After six successful weeks, one week ago, she began to refuse it. She becomes hysterical as soon as the nipple is put in her mouth; she kicks, cries, and fights it, seeming to only want the breast. My husband and/or my mother spend 45-60 minutes working on this with her, soothing her as soon as she becomes upset, and then re-introducing the bottle when she is calm. She immediately becomes upset again. I am not usually around as I can't stand it and know it's best for me not to be there. I return to work (full time) in three weeks and am worried about how to get her to resume taking the bottle. We used the Playtex drop-ins for the first six weeks and hen switched to the Adiri Natural Nurser when she started having difficulties. Any suggestions?

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So What Happened?

Since the one bottle a day suggestion was producing hysteria, I spoke with one of the nurses at my pediatrician's office who suggested we try only offering her the bottle during a specificed period of time during the day and then resuming breast feeding in the evening and at night. So, we decided to engage in "Bottle Boot Camp." Last Tuesday through Friday, my daughter spent the bulk of the day at my parents house (with me not around), being offered only the bottle. The first day was difficult, but went better than we all expected as by the end of the day (she was only with them for 5.5 hours), she had taken 2 ounces from 3 different bottles. It took a lot of distraction and at the beginning it was a two person job, but by the end of the day she was more accepting of the bottle and was no longer hysterical. Wednesday and Thursday each went better and Friday was such a huge succeses, that she was on her way back home to me at 1:00pm. Each evening and during the night she was breast fed, but for those 3.5 days, she only got the bottle. Yesterday was the first day my husband resumed trying the bottle, I went off for 5 hours to see a friend and get my hair cut (finally), and he successfully gave her 3 bottles while I was gone! We will continue with 1 bottle a day between now and when I go back to work (two weeks from Tuesday) so that she maintains the behavior and will be ready for when she is no longer with me all day long. Thank you to everyone for all of your advice and support! I really appreciate it!

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C.P.

answers from Pittsfield on

My daughter did the exact same thing, but at 6 weeks of age. She had choked a few times in the first 4 or 5 weeks taking the bottle and I was using the absolute smallest nipple. Try multiple bottles & nipples (the playtex bottles/nipples with the wide base were the best - perhaps she'll take to one of them. Also, have someone else try feed her. She probably prefers the breast because of the closeness to you so if you're not there she'll "settle".

Good luck & know that this will pass... unfortunately for me, my daughter's fear of choking was so great (& she associated choking with the bottle) that she only took the bottle at 7 months of age when she became very active and wanted the flow to come faster. It was a long 7 months ... but I miss it now that its over.

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W.H.

answers from New London on

This may sound horrible. It did to me when my mother suggested it but, it worked like a charm. Put some sugar on the nipple. Only takes once and the little kiddo doesn't have a problem anymore!

W.

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J.S.

answers from Boston on

Hi L.!

Oh I felt your pain! My little one is now 21 months, but I had a very similar problem when she was between 4-8 weeks old. I was breast feeding exclusively, though she had taken a couple of bottles of formula in the hospital b/c I had a c section and my milk was slow coming in and she was jaundiced so the pedi wanted her to get fluids. Anyway, we waited a couple of weeks then introduced the bottle around 4 weeks and oh boy did she fight it every step of the way. I had my husband and mother try, and she would do the same thing - as soon as she started sucking she'd SCREAM and flail around. We started with the Nuby nipples since that's what we used in the hospital successfully, they didn't work. I basically did what one of the other mothers said - bought one of every bottle and nipple they sell - Avent, Gerber, Medulla, One Step, Evenflow, Dr Browns, Playtex you name it I tried it. Then I spoke to a friend of mine that had had a similar problem - she said try to Playtex nurser nipples - in LATEX. I had been avoiding latex since I am allergic and thought silicone seemed "better: . I had already tried the playtex nurser (with the drop in system) but in silicone but she refused it.

So, I tried the Playtex nurser in LATEX and she took it! She still fussed a bit, but she drank most of it. My husband was good at feeding her a little, then rocking her & convincing her to take more etc. I was so relieved, I had been so worried as I was going back to work FT at 12 weeks and had no idea what I would do if I couldn't get her to take a bottle. I was so stressed so I know just how you feel. ANyway, she did absolutely fine with the Playtex nurser latex nipples, and it was easy enough for me to pump and transfer the milk to the nice gerber bags that zip shut and then fit in the playtex drop in system. After she was about 4-5 months old I tried again with the Gerber latex nipples that fit on my Medulla bottles that I use with my pump, and she took it just fine! I never tried a silicone nipple after we succeeded with the playtex latex.

So, I think there's hope, try a bunch of other nipples (especially the playtex nurser LATEX nipple). I also did what one reader said - run the nipple under warm water before giving it. I've heard putting sugar on it is not a good idea but you'll have to figure out what to try.

I suspect you will be fine and will find a bottle she can take. Please let us know what happened. Good luck!!!

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A.A.

answers from Boston on

Is there a reason that she has to take a bottle? If not, I wouldn't force it just now and I DEFINITELY would not put sugar on the nipple. Maybe she just needs a break and needs more contact with you. Nursing is the best thing for her and babies sometimes just need that bonding. Maybe if you take a break and try the bottle again in a couple of weeks she'll be more accepting.

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J.H.

answers from Boston on

Just a trick I learned with my daughter when she refused the bottle.....run the nipple of the bottle under warm water so it's warm when you give it to her. They get used to the warmth of you when breastfeeding so it sometimes helps when transitioning to the bottle.

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M.B.

answers from Hartford on

L.,
Congrats on your little one and for bfing!!
Are you giving the bottle? Often bf children don't except a bottle from their mother. Usually it needs to be daddy and even then you may need to leave the room, or the house. Some bf children can smell when there mother is "avalible" (meaning in the house) and thus only want the breast. Once she relizes you are not avalible to nurse she will take the bottle. I went back to work only pt after #2, I would visit him at lunch so I didn't need to pump as much, and he learned he could "hold off" till I got there, so he began refusing the bottle at 4 months. But I do believe if he were truly hungry he would take the bottle. My first did just fine w/ a bottle as long as I was not around - he couldnt' even hear me in the house!
Good Luck to you. Follow your heart & gut, you know your babes the best!!!
M.

E.M.

answers from Boston on

Maybe try a faster flowing nipple.

Best of luck to you.

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C.H.

answers from Hartford on

I went through this with my daughter at around 2 months. I was b-feeding full time, but we were trying to prepare her to start daycare at 3 months. My husband and I tried everything, separately and together, including a dozen different nipples ( we spent a small fortune buying different bottles to try). I would leave the house, and she still would wail and scream when he tried to give it to her.

Long story short - she took the bottle at daycare with absolutely no problem. I think because it was a totally different person in a totally different location, she didn't have a problem with it. After that, she would also take the bottle at home from my husband, and when she weaned herself around 8 months, she would take a bottle of formula from me.

Feel free to email me if you want to talk more. My daughter is two now, but I remember how stressful that time was for everybody!

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L.L.

answers from Portland on

It is possible that she is aware enough (of you) to not want the bottle from you but prefers the breast.
To see if this is really an issue, do you have a relative or friend who could watch her for a time when a feeding is due? Then see if she takes a bottle from them when she is hungry.
You are using breast milk in the bottles, yes?
I was a SAH mum of seven. I breast fed all of them but introduced a bottle at month or so old in case I had to be away during a feeding time. I did have one who would NEVER accept a bottle. And even being home, it was a small problem at times.
Best wishes and God bless
Grandmother Lowell

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L.S.

answers from New London on

Have you tried a different nipple? Perhaps she is used to the faster flow of breastmilk or the opposite. Try a faster flow nipple if you are using 1 or slow. It could also be the temperature of the milk. My son wouldn't take his milk from the bottle too warm. Try different things. When she is hungry and it is either eat or not eat, she'll probably come around, but try different bottles and nipples etc, first. good luck.

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R.K.

answers from Springfield on

My youngest never ever took a bottle he went from breastfeeding to drinking out of a sippy cup he did have a straw figured our early. It was a pain in the butt in the beginning because I couldn't leave him long but I wouldn't have changed it. He refused the bottle for everyone. I am surprised that your pediatrican recommended a bottle so early I was told w/ both of my kids no bottle for 4-6 weeks. My only suggestion is I wouldn't even be in the same room w/ your husband when attempts to give her a bottle and don't allow it to go on so long you are just upsetting her more and making her detest the bottle if she doesn't want it after a few minutes bf her and offer the bottle first at the next feeding.

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L.O.

answers from Boston on

I had the same problem with my daughter. It was very stressful and difficult. It became our sole focus since I was also worried about returning to work. Not to scare you, but I did end up having to take an extra month of maternity leave while we worked on it, and I made a backup plan with my employer for leaving work midday to go to the daycare to breastfeed in case it came to that. It didn't come to that. Eventually we got her back on the bottle. The best techniques for me were to first put Lansinoh on my breasts every time she fed, and then also put them on the nipples of the bottles. That way, the initial taste and sensation were the same. Then, what I would do was the one-two quick switcheroo, start her on the breast but about halfway through - especially if she was getting drowsy but not quite asleep - I would just quickly pull out my breast and pop in the bottle before she knew what had hit her. They also say it can make a huge difference who gives her the bottle - for some babies, if they know Mom is around, they want the breast no matter what - so try leaving the house and have someone else try. You may find you'll be all set. (Didn't work for me personally, but I have heard of it working). Also, make sure you shop around for bottle nipples that most physically resemble your own nipples. I believe One Step Ahead even sells bottles that are shaped like an entire breast, or at least they used to - these didn't work for me either, but they weren't shaped like me. I had to find just the right bottle nipples to try to fool her. Good luck!

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A.E.

answers from Springfield on

My son started refusing the bottle at 8 weeks old- he is now twelve weeks old and while he will drink from a bottle he still much prefers the breast. The only way he would drink from a bottle is if it had breastmilk in it and if we used the Adiri bottles (which I noticed another mommy also suggested). They are breast shaped bottles that I found online at babies r us. They are expensive, but very easy to clean and use. I also found he took the bottle easiest when he was more alert versus sleepy. When it was getting close to nap or bedtime he really wanted the close comfort of nursing....so good luck! I feel your pain! To make you feel better, though, I just started back to work today and he apparently ate consistently well with his bottle and pumped milk at daycare! Go figure!

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S.K.

answers from New London on

I don't blame your daughter! Who would want a cold plastic bottle when mom is right there?? LOL
Make sure you are not around when she is given a bottle. If you are available- she should not have a bottle, she should nurse.
Bottles are only for when mommy is not home.

My girls only took bottles when it was a dire emergency, I was lucky that I didn't have to work. But at those times they would only drink from a breast shaped silicone bottle. I purchased them through One Step Ahead. I think they are made by Indiri or Andiri. Something like that. The silicone bottle actually feels like skin and the nipple is shaped more like our own.
Even with these bottles, caregivers had a difficult time getting her to eat. She'd often strike until I got home and then nurse for a long time. Not easy to deal with- but babies know what they need, and they need their moms. Just hang in there and give her what she needs. It'll pass soon enough.
You can suggest that her caregiver try dripping the pumped milk into her mouth with a medicine dropper or spoon it in slowly. That can often be enough to hold her over till you come home.
Do not be surprised if when you return to work, your daughter changes her schedule to sleep most of the day and be up when you are home (all night long). This happens frequently with babies who don't like bottles. There is nothing you can do- but get good at nursing her in bed. You may end up co-sleeping to make this work for your family.
Just remember that nursing is short lived. It's a tough road now, but in a year it will be a whole different issue to deal with. Keep telling yourself that this won't last forever and that you are doing what is right for your daughter. She is the most important thing.
Good luck,
S.

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