9-Month Old Restless Sleeper

Updated on November 10, 2012
K.H. asks from Middle River, MD
7 answers

My 9-month old daughter has been sleeping thru the night in her crib (in a separate room) since she was 3 months old. In the past month or so, we have noticed via the monitor, that she has become an active/restless sleeper, rolls around alot, makes grunting, whimper or sighing noises, and sometimes cries out. I'm a heavy sleeper, never hear her (unless its a significant cry), and think that its okay to let her work herself back to sleep. However, my husband is a light sleeper, hears (and sees) everything on the monitor when she starts becoming restless, and can't sleep while she's making noise (he can hear her whimpers even when the monitor is off). After 20 min or so, he then goes to get her, and brings her in to bed with us, which calms her down instantly, she snuggles up next to him, and hardly moves or makes a peep the rest of the night. The problem is, I don't think it is right to keep bringing her to bed with us, and don't want to have this become a habit that will be hard to break where she can only sleep with us. Neither of us want to have a family bed. But my husband needs his sleep too. We know she has a full tummy - she goes to sleep at 7, and we wake her at 9 to give her a bottle. She'll then usually sleep until 7 or 8am. My husband had thought to put the monitor on my side, but knows that I'll never hear anything since I'll sleep through it. And he'd still hear it anyway, and wake me up to check the monitor. Any suggestions on what might be causing her to be a restless sleeper, or how to help my husband not be so anxious to bring her in to bed with us?

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S.T.

answers from Seattle on

I have a 20 month old son, and we're having similar issues, except that we cosleep already by choice, so I'm not sure why he's waking up so much.

But my reason for writing is to clarify something another poster wrote..
Co-sleeping doesn't work for every family, of course, and I'm not suggesting you take that approach. But it does not raise the risk of SIDS as she stated. There is a lot of fear based false info out there about this. The only parents who should not sleep with their babies are those with sleep apnea or morbid obesity, or those with a drug or alcohol problem. (This includes not sleeping with a baby anywhere, ie a couch .. Not just in bed). There have been many studies that have shown that babies crave safety and security, (no brainer), and they feel safest near us. When your hubby brings your DD in and she sleeps soundly, doesn't that make sense? Maybe you could put her crib next to your bed on his side? That way he can hush her or take her out of her crib if she gets upset?

Anyway, I just mostly wanted to say that SIDS isn't connected to cosleeping, and newborns thrive in a sleeping situation with healthy parents.
SIDS has been linked in some studies (where the victims were healthy children and healthy parents) to certain chemicals and flame retardants in kiddos pajamas and mattresses. The pjs cause sweating, the sweat mingles with the chemicals and creates a type of gas that has the same attributes as nerve gas.

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B.W.

answers from Washington DC on

My 9 month old is getting restless at night as well. I have been told this is a normal phase at this age. I change his diaper and give him a bottle if he cries at night and put him back in his crib. He usually drifts off within 15 minutes after that as long as I leave him alone.
I am concerned about anyone bringin the baby to bed with them because it really raises the risk of SIDS or suffication. If her room is close to yours and you feel comfortable with it, try turning the volume down on the monitor. If she needs you she will cry louder. And try a diaper change/bottle/ back to bed fix. She will probably be upset the first few nights of this as a bad habit has already begun in bringing her to bed with you guys. But after a few times it should get easier.

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F.W.

answers from Cumberland on

Your daughter is definitely at an age where your reaction to her will become expected time and again. It is very possible that she is more restless in her sleep because she is learning new motor skills. Now that you DH has brought her to bed she very well may not resettle quickly on her own anymore. My daughter at this age would sleep horribly AFTER teething and sickness because I would sleep in her room or sleep with her. Once she was better she still wanted the special treatment. It may take a few weeks to get her to resettle on her own. Definitely consider switching off the monitor or turning it down low. If your DH insists on intervening even if you feel she'd be fine on her own, have him go to her and lay her back down in her crib, maybe put a hand on her back and remain consistent! As long as the routine is consistent for resettling her she'll get used to it and do much better. You might also consider a lovey of some kind too Good luck

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J.S.

answers from Washington DC on

I have a 2 year old little girl and I remember her going through phases with her sleep patterns from 3 months old on. Sometimes she will go a few weeks or a couple of months with a more restless sleep and then revert back to sleeping a really deep sleep for 12 hours. It could be down to a growth spurt or new experiences that she is dealing with by actively dreaming about them. As long as she is not crying out your husband needs to ignore her, even if it keeps him awake. She will either settle herself or cry out. If she cries out he or you should go in and soothe her but not take her out of the crib. Rub her back, etc., till she settles. Start this new response on a Friday night so everyone who needs to can sleep in on Saturday. It will take a couple of nights but once she realizes that waking in the middle of the night and coming into Mom & Dad's bed is no longer part of the routine, she will sleep through. Good luck!

K.S.

answers from Richmond on

I know she is 9 months old but it sounds like she likes to be close to something, you might try swaddling her or tucking blankets around her to see if that helps her feel more secure. You will eventually have to move away from that but it's alot better than bringing her to bed with you. You could even wait till she gets restless to wrap a blanket around her and see if thats all she needs. I hope that things get into a better routine soon. Also try letting her sleep through the night without waking her to give her a bottle, she doesn't really need that at this age and it might be disturbing her sleep cycle. again, good luck!

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A.L.

answers from Washington DC on

Is her room close enough to yours that you could hear if there were something really wrong?
I have never used a monitor - even when my kids were really little. I was conditioned to hear them when they cried, but my room was also pretty close. If it's an option, try losing the monitor for a bit and see if it helps. You won't hear every snuffle and grunt, only a legitimate cry for something.

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A.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Perhaps waking her to give her a bottle isn't such a good idea. At nine months she should be able to sleep straight through from 7 to 7 or 8 without a feeding. Basically she has no need to eat at 9 p.m. but instead has just gotten used to it. Perhaps this would affect her sleep through the rest of the night. I would recommend cutting out that 9 p.m. wake up call, although, I imagine that once you don't go in and wake her she will wake up out of habit so you will have to work through it and do a little sleep training. At 9 months it doesn't take long for them to expect something or form a habit so if he has been bringing her into your bed for even just a few nights she has probably already adapted to that.

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