9 1/2 Month Old

Hi T.,
My son is now two and was a horrible sleeper for me. From the time he was 6 months to 1 year he went through several different phases, where he would either be up several times throughout the night or would give us problems going to bed. I completely understand when you are so exhausted, you just want to bring them into bed. I too did not want to make that a habbit. I tried to never bring him into bed. If I had to I would lay with him on the couch, so that I could get some sleep. Honestly, he didnt start sleeping through the night until I let him cry himself to sleep. I still kept a night time routine of reading and a little rocking (5 minutes tops) Then I put him in his crib and left. I found that going in there, even if I didnt pick him up, made the crying last longer. So I stopped and let him just cry. It took 5 nights of crying that started at 45 min and ended at maybe a minute or two. After that, he would go to bed and sleep through the night. Now there are still times, he is up if he is sick or whatever, but most nights I get to sleep. I have several friends how have children around the same age, they all are different and go through different phases. You have to do what you are comfortable with. I know when I would put my son down and he would start crying, I would take a shower. I still had my video monitor so I could see him, but I didnt have to hear him crying.
I wish you lots of luck, and just know that eventually, they all sleep through the night in their own bed!

he is now in the age range when seperation anxiety is coming into play.keep doing what you are soing and give him something to comfort him. a teddy bear or favorite blanky thats comforting and go in about every 5 minutes for a few days then wean it down. 2 of my children have blankies. my 5 yr old is autistic and my 2 yr old. they will not go to bed without there blankies. for 2 years the 5 yr old had 2. the one at home she slept with and the one i sent to pre-k for nap times. which was her infant blanket. its gonna be hard but she is about to lose her bedtime blanket because it is tearing up. as for the teething they sell teething tablets in walmart that are all natural and they work. they disolve in babies mouth. that leaves the tylenol or motrin free for nighttime. also check to see if he has a ear infection. if it is something that just started with teething it could be that which for some reason always bothers them worse at night.

Around 9 months is the exact age most children go through seperation anxiety. My children (who are 3 & 4 now) both woke up several times a night. I never did CIO (cry it out) but soothed them back to sleep. I kinda wish I had done CIO at a certain point. You have to find what is best for your family. <My youngest co-slept b/c both my husband and myself were exhausted>.

I have two daughters - when they were babies I worked full time. I had to have sleep - They too needed their sleep since they had to get up early to go to the sitters. I did then what I would do again now. I let them sleep with me and my husband - first in the bed and then I set up a playpen in the corner of my room. My husband and I both slept and so did the girls. It wasn't a battle that I felt necessary to wage. My husband and I both worked full time and by the time dinner and bath time was over, we felt we weren't getting enough time with them. Their being in our room with us made us all feel better. My girls are now very secure well adjusted children.

Hi T.,

I know it's hard! My daughter is 9 months and not sleeping well either... I keep hearing that it's just part of being 9 months old, though. There's so many developmental things going on with them, they can't seem to settle well at night. We let our daughter sleep with us so that we all get a better night's sleep... I figure there's no reason to make a battle out of something when we really all want the same thing - SLEEP!

And yes, we will make a plan for her for later, when she can understand the need for us all to have our own space at night. I've heard from a lot of moms who tell me not to worry about their kids sleeping with them forever... they tell me to make transitions in baby steps based on watching for signs of readiness/understanding. I think kids will prefer "big kid beds" and independence soon enough.

My son did this too. He was only about 5 months old though. I, too, brought him into my room so my husband could sleep. At 7 (years) we finally got him to sleep in his own bed. Don't let guilt let him walk all over you. He is at a very maniplitive age. He knows if he cries, mommy will come. Put soothing music in his room and let him get used to it. (Otherwise, you may not add to your family in the next few years!!) Just kidding, but they do make it difficult. Tough love is heartbreaking, but so are all of the issues with marriage and such if he doesn't go to sleep in his own room. My second and third aren't even allowed to touch my bed!! They have always gone to sleep in their own room and have rarely gotten up. Good luck, and you will eventually figure things out. R.

T.,
I know what you are going through and my husband and I can deffinately sympathize. My son nursed until he was almost a year, and for the first eight to nine months, he would fall asleep at the breast, and I would put him down. When he started waking up during the night, we decided that we needed to help him learn to get himself back to sleep. The answer for us was first of all to disassoicate the breast/bottle from bedtime. So I started nursing him out in the living room and we kept the tv on and I would sing and play with him while he nursed so that he would stay awake. We developed a routine of bath time, nurse/play/read/sing, brush teeth, then he and I go into his room, turn out the lights and have quit time. That includes either storry time, or soft singing while he lays his head on my chest. Once he is calm and quiet, I lay him in his crib while he is still awake, yet drowsy. I hand him his favorite super soft blanket and bear, and then I turn on his aquarium. The musical aquarium that straps to the cruise was our lifesaver. When he was little he really enjoyed the music when we turned it on, and then it shut off automatically. But as he got older he learned to operate it himself. So now when I lay him down, he and I turn it on and he falls asleep with it, and in the middle of the night if he wakes up, instead of screaming for us, he just turns on the aquarium and goes back to sleep. He absoultely loves the water and bubbles, and it plays music, water noises or ocean noises. On rare occassions when he does not go back to sleep, we go in and comfort him, but we keep him in his bed, keep the lights off, and we talk very quiet. We make sure he is clean, safe, and we put oragel on his gums and then we walk out. If he cries, it is usually just for a few minutes, because he now knows he can count on us. We built up his trust several months ago by letting him cry five minutes, then we would go in and comfort him, then we would do five more minutes of crying and go in and comfort him. Eventually he realized that we would always be there if he truelly needed us, and he started soothing himself back to sleep. If your son is teething be sure to use night time oragel as it lasts longer. Make sure he has something in his bed that he can teeth on like a chilled teething ring, or my son's favorite is a washcloth. Also be sure he is not to cold or hot, and be sure to follow your same routing every night. Babies thrive on routine, it makes them feel secure. Hope all this helps, and we wish you the best of luck. Your son is at a good age to start establishing good bedtime routines, and believe me, it pays off big as he gets older and going to bed gets harder. Take care.
E. P.

Dear T.,

Babies go through growth spurts and it is stressful. Try feeding your son cereal, bananas, something to fill him up and see if that works. I read articles that say babies need carbs to sleep. Oatmeal is also very good to fill them up.

If he is teething hylands has homeopathic tablets safe for babies. Vitamin e works when rubbed onto swollen gums to cut the pain.

It is normal to go through these things, keep trying things until you find what works for your son.

Good luck.

D.

T.,

I had the same problem with my second baby at that age. I went to the pediatrician to see if he was sick. My advice from the doctor was to let him cry it out and to give him a double dose of Chrlor Trimaton (baby dose of course) about 30 minutes before laying him down. I also hated to hear him cry so I had to go sleep in my car in the garage since I too was working. It was much easier on my husband to let him cry it out. It took about two weeks for him to get back on schedule. So make sure that there isn't anything wrong physically and get some advice from the baby's doctor about what type of anti-histamine to use. Good luck and just know that lots of babies go thru this. When my kids were young we never would have let them sleep with us unless there was a storm or the such. You will be stuck with them wanting to sleep with you all of the time. Kids or babies never need to be in the marriage bed. Now a days it seems that it is easiest to have them sleep with parents because both parents may need to work. Babies are now coddled because moms feel guilty about having to work. Babies sleep much better in their own beds because the parents aren't disturbing them. The old ways have always worked and it never hurt a child to sleep alone and is much better for the parents also. If the baby is restless then go into him/her to check their diaper, fever, etc if if nothing is wrong then just stroke them gently until they settle down. Do not speak at all. Never pick them up for they will get used to the attention at night.