8 Year Old Hates Everything

Updated on January 04, 2009
S. asks from Commerce City, CO
18 answers

Hello,

I hope I can get some great tips for my 8 year old son. He hates everything! He hates it before he tastes or smells it. He will not try anything, when he does he puts it in his mouth and spits it out. It is such a battle and has become a huge problem.

Well I guess I can say he loves peanut butter and jelly. But I dont feel he should get his own way and eat that all the time.

Any suggestions?

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S.P.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I just read a little Bio on Guy Fierri (the guy who won the Next Food Network Star) and it said that his Mom told him that if he didn't want to eat what he was given he could make his own dinner, which started his love of cooking.

I thought that was pretty interesting and it might apply to what you are going through. Just remember to add that what ever he makes he also has to clean up!!!

Good Luck

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N.W.

answers from Salt Lake City on

My 8 yr old has to atleast try everything on her plate. When it got really bad, I told her she'd be making dinner the next night. I don't remember what she finally made after complaining so much that she had no idea what to make. I remember she complained less after she had to make food for everyone. She even compliments my dinners and points out things she likes so I'll make those things again.

Sometimes the compliments are a little backhanded, but atleast she's trying.

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R.M.

answers from Denver on

For kids food is all they can control. Well anyway stick to you guns and be consistant by standing by your word. I have a 7 year old who is autistic and he tries to pull that one one me by getting upset and pushing his plate away. I simply tell him that is what is for dinner and if you don''t eat that you will not eat again till breakfast. It didn't take long for the 4 year old to atart doing that and so i had to change the rules a bit.
Now they have to show me that they tasteed the food and then decide if they like it. When they taste it is like a cheering competition and they get high 5's for just trying it. Both ways worked for me.
You might also include the boys with the grocery shopping and the menu choices. They can pick all the fruit and veggies to go with your choice of the entree.
Well good luck

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C.M.

answers from Denver on

I feel your pain! My five yr old doesn't like most foods. I have found that it helps to let him help choose food while grocery shopping and to help prepare dinner. This way he enjoys eating what he helped to make.
I'm still battling with many things, I'm interested in others responses! Good luck!

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K.G.

answers from Denver on

You are being manipulated by a master : ). You need to change your thinking about the purpose of a meal-It is to nourish the body and provide some family togetherness time. Dessert should be left for special occasions, not the automatic end of every dinner. Pick your menus with the idea of health in mind, try to have a cooked vegetable + something like carrot/celery sticks with ranch, and a fruit in additon to a meat/protein. Set it all out on the table at once to choose from and that is that-absolutely no exceptions or substitutions, you are not running a restaurant! Let your son eat what he wants to eat off of the table without your comment except one reminder that once the meal is off the table, the kitchen is closed until the next meal time. ( and don't you dare give in to tantrums or whining!) Your son is a smart boy, he will not starve himself to death, he just wants to control you and have his own way. If you don't get a hold on it now, he will grow up to be a spoiled adult and a rude dinner guest. It may take a few days of his stomach growling and fighting with you but it will be worth it in the long run and he will quickly learn to eat what is served or be hungry as a natural consequence of his choice. Stand strong!

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M.L.

answers from Denver on

I am having almost the same problem with my 9 year old son so I am anxious to read the responses you get. Unless it is something he has had before we have to force him to try it and then we always get the thumbs down sign. Although he knows better than to spit it out.

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C.J.

answers from Colorado Springs on

My sister was like that when she was a kid. Boy, it sure annoyed my parents too! The way that they solved it was she had to try everything on her plate (and NOT spit it back out) - at least two bites of each thing. If she did that and "didn't like anything" THEN she could have a sandwich to eat (or whatever her thing was...could have been hot dogs...too long ago to remember exactly), but that was it. If the family had dessert that night, she didn't get it because she didn't eat her dinner.
She also couldn't leave the table without trying the things on her plate. (that was the same for all of us if there was something new served at dinner) Didn't take long for her to decide that she liked dinner more often than not because she ultimately was missing out on something by pitching a fit - either dessert or game time or something because she would still be at the table grouching about not wanting to even try something and all the rest of us kids would be playing a game. And the longer she sat trying to get out of having to eat something, the worse it would look and taste, because by then it would be cold! ugh. Hope you find a solution that works for you. My sister only did it as a power play kind of thing trying to get her way and it didn't work out quite as she had hoped. Kind of sounds like your situation with your son could be the same. Good luck!

T.S.

answers from Denver on

I have found that when you find yourself in a tug of war it is usually best to just drop the rope. I eliminated the power struggle with my picky eater by just setting the rules and following through. He could eat what was for dinner or have a sandwich.

I grew up a picky eater and still am to a certain extent. There is new research that actually talks about super tasters who taste bitter so much more that other people that it can interfere with what they like to eat. Now, I always take research with a good dose of scepticism, however, it seems true for me.

And, like the mother whose kids had nose and throat problems, there could actually be a legitimate reason why your son is struggling.

For me the important issue is the power struggle. I had to ask myself, "What difference does it really make to me if they eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich every night?" It really didn't to me. It eliminated any struggle between us, he got to eat, and I was calmer. The good news is that I did encourage trying new things (just one taste and look how brave you are to try something new) and now all my kids have more well rounded appetites. My picky eater eventually became a teenager and now eats more than I can keep up with. (He did expand from sandwiches, however, he still has some strong dislikes.)Good luck, T.

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A.T.

answers from Denver on

Hi S.,

We went through this with our oldest son, a couple of years ago. We did make him try things like the previous post suggested and if he hated it he could have his choice of dinner, however our rule was you have to have a vegatable with dinner and fruit with lunch. He ended up liking salad and believe it or not, brocoli. I have also found presentation helps with fruit cut it up so it doesn't look like there is as much. The apple slicer from pampered chef was great. He is really into sports and we just explained to him healthy nutrition and how important it is to eat good and take care of your body and of course the battles did not end over-night, but it did get easier over time. He still is picky, but he has expanded his "list" of what he will eat. Good luck and if you need to vent more feel free to e-mail me.

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D.C.

answers from Boise on

Hi, I am not going to be very popular for this but this has worked for me. We teach that you eat what you are givin. That means a fight sometimes. We sit at the table and eat together, and if you dont eat you still sit there until everyone is done. Then your food goes in the fridge, so that when you say you are hungry latter thats what you get. The pedatricians all say they will not starve themselves. of course it all starts over the next day so the food does not get yucky. i realize this seems harsh but good nutrition has to be taught and that is the only way i have found that works. of course make some exseptions for special days. Good luck and remember this to shall pass.

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A.G.

answers from Pueblo on

Hi I have a 10 year old son who hates alot of foods.I have tried everything I can think of. what works best foe me is he gets 1-2 tablespoons of every thing we have and if he wants more he can have more but he has to finsh what he has first. and if he dont eat all of what he has he cant have more of what he does like. and if he refuses to eat his meal gets put in the fridge for later or he does not eat till the next meal. i know it sounds harsh but a tablespoon or two of 3 to 4 items is not a lot of food is is mabe a fourth cup of food. but this has worked for us

i am a stay at home mom of a 10 year old and a pastors wife

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A.S.

answers from Denver on

Can you put the responsibility for nutrition back on him? Get a food pyramid and ask him how his body is going to get each of the different food groups that he needs each day.

Then (I saw this bit on Super Nanny) get 5 paper plates and have him write out 5 different dinners while you help him figure out foods that will meet a nutritional requirement but won't be too awful for him (super nanny drew 2 lines in order to divide each plate into 4 foods-- way more ambitious than I ever get at dinner!) My kids are only 3 and 5, but even now I find that if they choose the dinner or do ANYTHING to help, they are much more inclined to eat well.

Even with my kids, I insist that peanut butter and jelly is a lunch food.

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A.F.

answers from Salt Lake City on

My four year old is the same way. With her, the rule is: "You can eat whatever you want for breakfast and lunch, but you have to eat what everyone else is eating for dinner." Most of the time she'll ask me "How many bites do I have to eat." or something similar. But since implementing that rule, and sticking to my guns when I say that if you don't eat any dinner, you don't get anything else until breakfast (including milk or other beverages - she's only allowed water when she doesn't eat), she will actually eat at least a bite or two, even if she doesn't like it. If it's something I know she likes, or at least doesn't dislike, I'll usually make her eat more of it. But if it's something I know she truly dislikes, I'll only say she has to eat a few bites. I'm surprised lately at how well it's been working. I figure that if she has her choice for breakfast, lunch and snacks, she won't feel forced to eat stuff she doesn't want all the time. And she always knows that dinner is the meal she doesn't have a choice in (unless I ask her what she wants for dinner). Anyway... She eats a little better than she has in the past, but she's still pretty picky. Hope this helps.

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M.S.

answers from Boise on

My son tried to pull that card with me and I told him that I couldn't afford to make him a separate meal, so either he gets what he gets and he doesn't throw a fit, or he doesn't eat. 2 times and he started eating whatever I put in front of him. If he says he doesn't like it, then I say he has to eat 1 bit and swallow it, and if he still doesn't like it then he doesn't have to finish it. I noticed it came from his friends saying they didn't like to eat this and they didn't like to eat that, etc.

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S.P.

answers from Denver on

You might consider having him looked at by a ear,nose and throat doctor.  My son was the same and he had repeated strep throat and ear infections.  Never right and would not eat!  Turns out he had horrible adenoid and tonsil problems.  He is a new kid.  His little sister started some of the same problems.  Had similar adenoid issues. Had her tonsils and adenoids out at 2 before it became such a problem.  I can give your our docs number if you like. He is super with the kids.

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D.K.

answers from Denver on

Why fight with a 8 year old? I mean I have a almost one and I tell you, our mealtimes are much easier when I decided, I am cooking what I am cooking, she can try it, eat it or not. Easy, if she doesn't want to eat it, then fine NOTHING ELSE! It isn't mean, it isn't abusive but sounds as if your 8 year old is trying very hard to run the show. You can offer healthy, well rounded meals, if he doesn't like it, oh well!! Tough. Sorry but the reality is parents allow picking eating in fear their children will starve, they won't. They will eventually eat. If he hates everything well then tell him you hope he can change his mind. My biggest issue is neither of my children are allowed to say "I don't like that" unless they have truly tried it, chewed it up and swallowed it! Then they can have an opinion. I allow them each five things they truly just do not life, after they have truly tried it. I just don't cook those things. However, I am not a cafe and will cook healthy meals pretty much things they have tried and do like but they know if they choose not to eat it, that is fine. I won't argue, I won't get angry, I simply say "well you can be excused, please don't ask me for anything later then". I don't believe kids should have to completely clean their plates, however feel that substantial food needs consumed or it gets saved and if they are hungry they can eat it later. Hard core, sorry. I don't buy into that kids have allergies and that is why they don't like certain foods. Taste buds change a million times over their growing up. Like I said, I allow my kids not to like certain things, like asparagus, my son hates fish, however the stuff that isn't on their "list" I will make for the family and they can eat or not. Very simple, no arguing and no battles. Remember you are the parent.

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A.C.

answers from Pueblo on

Hi S.,
We have a 7 yr. old son who doesn't like new foods either.
Here's what we have found to help.
We tell him he either eats it or he goes to his room for the rest of the night. Since he's our social kid it works. He doesn't have to eat it all but he has to try it wihtout gaging. When we are at someone else's house if what is served isn't what he likes he either eats it or he doesn't eat. It sounds a bit harsh I know but with our son we have found we have to be firm or he wouldn't try anything.
It's opened his eyes to a lot of new foods and he starting to try things a little easier. I suggest for the first few battles pick something you are pretty sure he'll like.
We started with pizza, ice cream, etc.

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J.F.

answers from Denver on

I laughed out loud reading this! This was ME when I was a child! I was horrid and have since apologized to my mother :)

But here is all I can tell you! I didn't eat a thing, hated it all, and lived on the oddest most random foods and guess what... today I love everything!
My mom was great and just didn't force the issue. She let me live in my odd little world and I guess figured she had bigger battles to fight with me. Food was just one of them- HA! Don't get her started on my sleep patterns.

I would say just make sure he is eating something and let the what go out the door for now. If he is a good boy, doing well in school, and just doing what he is told in general, perhaps let this one go. For me it was seeing my peers eating things and wanting to be more healthy and adventurous as I got older that helped me to branch out. Now I can't believe all the things I missed out on all those years.

I can't say for certain that your son will ever love everything as I now do, but I can't thank my mom enough for just letting me be and watching me figure things out for myself!

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