8 Year Old Agressive

Hi Kelly,
I know how hard it is to know how wonderful your child is, and know also that they have a serious issue that could limit them socially for the rest of their childhood and maybe life. You and she do not have to live with this. She has a medical condition that is reversible, but it takes work and committment that is so worth the effort.

May I suggest you read the Sensory Sensitive Child, and Healing the Childhood Epidemics? Getting them on Amazon is probably the easiest. If she is reactive to sugar, she most likely has a fungal overgrowth (comes out of an immune reaction) which causes these behaviors and a lack of awareness of others (non-verbals get lost, etc). There is also a website called spdbayarea.com that I like alot.

Also, I would highly recommend you find a good OT (near atlanta: www.floortimeatlanta.com).

I hope you can help her be all she can be.

A mom that has been there, J.

Hi K.,

I agree with these ladies but want to add something as well. Sugar is the trigger, it is not the cause. My youngest went through this for several years and even asked if I would get the sugar out of the house and because she knew what happened when she got into it. (Of course she would sneak it because she really was addicted to it.)

Two things: Firstly, yeast causes a number of problems and sugar feeds it. (Have you ever baked bread from scratch? In order for the dough to rise you must add live yeast. Live yeast only stays alive by adding sugar to it every three days. Without sugar it dies and becomes useless for the rising of bread.) It causes behavioral issues because of the sugar. An easy test to see if she is harboring too much yeast is to check her tongue. If it has a white coating on it her little body is eaten up with it and she is surely going to act like an addict. Most moms don't think yeast is a problem unless there is a vaginal problem. If it gets to that point it is EXTREME! If she does have yeast, then a total detox of the sugar and simple carbs is necessary and it is just like a detox of an addict. My little one cried when I wouldn't let her have french fries...

Secondly, a detox of the home will help as well. Getting rid of neurological stimulants like Windex, Pledge, bleach, ammonia, etc will help her immune system so much that her body will be able to fight off things like yeast and much mre dangerous problems. A weak immune system doesn't just present itself with colds and flus but fatigue and laziness and a fertile ground for serious problems to the point of cancers.

If you want or need more information, please feel free to get back to me. My youngest is now 14 and loves the fact that she can control herself, without Mommy's help anymore.

Regards,

M.
wwww.squidoo.com/ifyourbabycouldtalk

Well, explain to her what you just told us. Tell her that sugar makes her hyper, etc. The consequence is a natural consequence of what happened. If she doesn't like the outcome, she'll have to accept a bit more responsibility in what she eats.

I have a son that is allergic to animals. He learned (even though he LOVES animals) that if he didn't want to look diseased within minutes and be sick the week thereafter, that he needed to stay away from dogs and not be on the ground with them and not enter a house that has animals in the house. Thankfully, my oldest is the only one that is allergic to animals, but he has learned (he is now 11yo) to make the decisions that involve this part of his life. Your daughter will have to do the same. She can treat herself to other items after or before the party that doesn't affect her the same way.

I have a sister and her fourth child is like that with sugar cane sugar, but the beet sugar (looks, etc., the same) doesn't affect him at all. Good luck!

For some reason your story is giving me deja vu (spelling?)...I've heard this story before but from the mom of the hyper child's best friend. Is it possible that your child acts up frequently? You mentioned that her best friend has been switched to a different after school class...this was mentioned in the other post by the other child's mom.

I think you need to discuss everything with the other child's mom. If it is the same person who posted earlier then she feels terrible about this. She felt like it was difficult to approach you and was torn up about it (for you, her daughter and herself).

Even if this is a different set of people I would speak to the other mom and be open minded. Maybe your daughter acts out too frequently and it has become an issue for others. It's not easy to admit (or see) that there may be a behavioral issue with your daughter but as a mom you owe it to her to find out and take care of her the best you can. I'd speak with your pediatrician after speaking with the other mom so you can explain details of what your daughter does when playing with others.

Also...you mentioned that the party was the first time you left your daughter alone for 2 hours and that you would never do that again. This makes me think that you are aware of behavioral issues. I have a daughter (11) and a son (8) and they play for entire days with other kids and I never am worried about their behavior. Over the years I've drummed it into their heads to play fair, include everyone, etc. Also, my son gets very hyper after he's had sugar but he has never had a problem with playing with others. The parents always compliment me on my child's manners and good behavior. I'm not bragging but I want you to know that I work on my kids' social skills every day and have been doing so for years. I never let them slack. In fact, I'm known as the mom that wants to know if their kid misbehaves. I can't help my kids fix their behavior if I'm not aware of it.

My kids aren't perfect (by any stretch), I've been called a couple of times about them hurting other kids feelings but I came down on them so fast that they really understand when they've done something wrong.

Please don't think I'm preaching...I just feel that it's our responsibility to make sure our kids no right from wrong in all settings...possibly most importantly when interacting with others. This is a life long lesson and now is the time to form the proper behaviors. They learn from us. It may be embarassing and difficult for us to hear when our child isn't acting appropriately but it's better that we hear it and work on it then ignore it.

Hope this helps and good luck!
L.

Wow -- well, I guess facing the consequences of the unsavory behavior will be a big deterrent... I think the parents' reaction to misbehavior at one party is a bit extreme, though. I think I might call them to get to the bottom: is this something that has been building over time? is there any chance for apology and redemption? how bad was it?

If you see she really seems to be struggling with her behavior, maybe mention it to your pediatrician. Could be something else going on...

It's never too young for her to learn her actions have consequences. When she starts in with you wanting sympathy or for you to "fix it", just tell her she will have to learn to be more careful and control herself better or these things will continue to happen to her. V.

My kids react the same way, and it's fairly easy to explain it to them.
Just explain it the way you did here, she is 8 yrs old , it's not like you're trying to explain it to a 3 yr old.
She will understand, but it will take time to get her to follow the rules on sugar when you aren't there. My almost 8 yr old has been on sugar restriction for a long time, and she knows she's not supposed to have sugar and why. now every once in a while she will slip up and get too many oreos or cool aid at her friends house and will come home and we will have nothing but trouble from her.

Just adding in response to your update.

Hyper can turn into aggressive very quickly. A hyper child can get carried away with all the activity very easily and it quickly goes from just bouncing off the walls to being careless because they are caught up in the moment.