8 Week Old Won't Sleep!

Updated on January 28, 2009
J.S. asks from Santa Fe, NM
32 answers

I'm completely at a loss what to do for my 8 week old daughter. She was a great sleeper when we brought her home from the hospital, we could put her down and she'd sleep for hours during the day and stay in bed with me at night. Slowly, she's gotten to the point where we can't put her down, ever. She'll only sleep during the day being held and bounced and only for pretty short stretches. When the bouncing stops, she wakes up immediately. Surprisingly, she sleeps pretty well at night, once we get her to sleep. She sleeps in bed with us and will only wake to nurse once or twice. Getting her to sleep at night though, is horrible. For the past 2 weeks, it's taken 5+ hours of constant rocking, bouncing, walking to get my inconsolable baby to sleep. She's clearly overtired but we can't figure out how to get her some sleep. We've tried swaddling, blow dryer noise, taking her for a car ride (she HATES the car), holding her, putting her in her bed, warming up her bed, putting her in a swing, wearing her in a sling, changing my diet (she's breastfed exclusively), feeding her, burping her, giving her gripe water, absolutely nothing will get her to sleep and keep her asleep until she finally crashes at night, usually around 11 or 11:30. She doesn't seem to be gassy or hungry, just really, really tired. We're trying really hard to stay positive but my husband and I are reaching the end of our rope. Since the majority of my day is spent trying to get her to sleep or keep her to sleep, my poor 2 year old son isn't getting much attention and he's getting fed up too. I'd really rather not just let her cry since she's still so little but I'm completely out of ideas. I wouldn't even mind holding her all day if it worked to get her some rest but it doesn't anymore. I've tried every suggestion anyone has had but since none of them have worked, I thought I'd turn here. Please, please be gentle with me in reponding, I'm a frazzled new mom just trying to do my best to care for my family. Thanks so much for taking the time to read and respond.

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S.S.

answers from Tucson on

My best suggestion is to head to an Osteopath asap. Teresea Cisler in Tucson is the best one I know of. The Osteopath will look at her body and any thing that may be out of whack as a result of her birth. These things can't be seen and may be stopping her from relaxing enough to fall asleep. My son had similar issues and they were all resolved after we saw an Osteopath.
Good Luck

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K.R.

answers from Phoenix on

my daughter was like that until I found "babywise" I've done it with each of my children for the past 6 years and its worked wonders with every single one. It saved my life!!

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S.P.

answers from Albuquerque on

Wow I remember that! She'll shift. My girl is almost a 1 1/2 years and is just now sleeping through the night. Some babies are just like that I think. Just keep up with what you are doing and something will click eventually. It's crazy how some babies fight is so hard. Girls seem to be more challenging as infants overall. That was my experience. It will shift eventually. Peace in that, S.

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L.M.

answers from Tucson on

Ugh. I don't recommend either Healthy SLeep Habits, Baby Whisperer, or especially Babywise. THe Ezzos...ugh. Yeah it works but WHY does it work? At what price? You don't have to follow all of the advice to do some damage.
Read www.Ezzo.info and you can see the complaints about the Ezzos. The American Academy of Pediatrics and breastfeeding professionals have raised many concerns about the Ezzos' infant feeding advice as presented in Babywise and Preparation for Parenting---and Ezzo definitely has a lot of distate for LLL, which right there is a warning sign, at least for me. Of course, some are extreme examples of following the techniques to a T, but the Ezzos are very controversial. You don't sound like the type of person to do the more extreme things but it does show what CAN happen. Yes, I've read all 3, none of them IMO respect children much or their developmental ages and sleep expectations for those stages. THey are about manipulating sleep patterns to fit you, instead of helping you to work with a child's patterns so that everyone can get good sleep. What's good in those books can be found in much better books.

I too recommend the No-Cry sleep solution----its not a quick fix by any means but it can help. Good Night, Sleep Tight is pretty good, Sweet Dreams : A Pediatrician's Secrets for Baby's Good Night's Sleep by Paul M. Fleiss is EXCELLENT IMO, as well as The Baby Sleep book from Dr. Sears.

By all means, check out all suggestions and see what works....but I highly recommened the above books over the others.

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A.D.

answers from Phoenix on

J....my son did the same thing! He would only sleep for about 20 minutes at a time during the day and only while being held...then at night he'd sleep for 5, sometimes 6 hours! I personally wouldn't do the cry to sleep method...I researched this a lot when my son was born and what I found is most of the reliable resources say you shouldn't do it until your baby is at least 6 months old. We found that putting my son on the boppy helped him sleep...not necessarily for any longer, but at least he would sleep without being held. We first started with the boppy on the couch next to us, then after he would sleep like that (we always stayed next to him) we started trying it in his crib. It only took about a week before he would sleep in his bed on his own during the day. We always rocked/bounced our son to sleep, and still do now. We didn't put him in his boppy until we knew for sure he was totally passed out. You might try shushing her while you rock/bounce. Get right up next to her ear and shush as loud or louder than she is crying (don't blow IN her ear, just next to it). As she gets quieter, you get quieter. Shushing was an absolutel lifesaver for us and it still works. We also found ridiculous ways to hold him that would help him fall asleep...like laying on his stomach across my knees while I was sitting up, then I would kind of sway my knees back and forth. Or face down on my husbands fore-arm while walking around...silly things like that. Have you tried nursing her to sleep? My son was probably around 3 months old or so when we could finally get him down without holding him the whole time...then about a month after that he started taking 45 minute naps...and now, well, on a good day he naps 1.5 hours in the morning and 1.5 in the afternoon...sometimes it's still only 45 minutes though. Oh, you might try vacuuming while holding her. I'm not kidding...my husband did that once and I freaked out but wouldn't ya know, it put my son to sleep! Good luck...seriously try the shushing. It sounds dumb, but it's amazing how well it works.

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D.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I had a newborn that was the same. He woke up at 8:30 am and went to bed at 11:30 pm, no matter what we did for several weeks. This is what worked: In the daytime, stand in a window where the sun shines - at night, where a lamp is pointing at her face. Hold her over your shoulder with her face into the light - because she HAS TO close her eyes. Then rock back & forth until she sleeps (try not to bounce much - it should be soothing). It will take awhile to get her to lay down, but it only took us two weeks to get our son to go down for two full naps in the daytime with this method. Be consistent - always at the same two times and always for the same amount of time. The habit is really important for her to learn. Good luck!

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N.S.

answers from Tucson on

J., it's nice you have Mamasource for this question. When I was going through this with our daughter, I was a brand new mom and had no clue she had "colic." I didn't figure it out till our son came along and realized babies don't cry all day and actually do sleep. She only took 10 minute naps and slept fine at night.
It turned out she had a milk allergy. She was just so uncomfortable during the day that we had to hold her all the time. So you might want to get her checked to see if she has any symptoms of reflux issues or the possiblity of having any other food issues.
If she is formula fed, try a soy based formula. If she is nursed, try changing your diet to a real plain diet. She may not seem gassy, but it turned out that our daughter most likely was suffering pretty bad gas. Does Mylicon work for short periods of time? Even if Mylicon calms her for 10 minutes, it does give you a clue to what could be wrong and it is something to mention to the doc.
good luck and I hope you get some more guidance than what I can give.

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R.G.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi J.,

Sorry to hear about your frustrations. When you say she's very tired, is she also fussy? Mine enjoyed staying awake more than falling or staying asleep. It's almost as if she didn't want to miss out on anything. She wasn't very fussy though.

A bath might help putting your baby to sleep.

take care,
raji

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J.X.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi J.! Read the book "On Becoming Baby Wise" - it's about giving your child the gift of sleep. 90% of the people that follow it have children their babies sleeping through the night by 8 weeks. It worked for me and my baby is now "so easy" as people say. When it's time for her nap, I just lay her down in her crib and she will go to sleep in a few minutes. The same at night - we lay her down when it's time for bed and she will let herself fall asleep. The main thing is we never rocked her or held her to go to sleep - we taught her how to self-soothe and go to sleep on her own. There were a few times when it was hard....she would be crying and I wanted to pick her up but I didn't. Instead I would pat her back or bottom to help calm her and at the same time she didn't learn that if she cries mom picks her up.

I have also heard that "The Baby Whisperer" is a good book for getting babies to sleep but i have never read it.

Good luck with everything and feel free to message me if you have any questions about Baby Wise.

Oh, one other thing - we did go through a short period when we couldn't figure out what was wrong with my baby because she would not sleep at all at night (this was for about 2 weeks)! She would sleep in the Baby Bjorn carrier but only if I would stand up. If I sat down she would wake up! So literally, I would clean my house in the middle of the night just so I could stay awake so she could sleep! We figured out that she had colic so we had to put her one a special formula (Nutramigen) which is really expensive but it worked. I just actually transitioned her off of it and now she is fine.

Jenn

F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Yikes! I'm sure this advice is too late coming but the very best advice I got when I was pregnant was "don't rock your baby to sleep, but her to bed awake and let her learn to put herself to sleep". I did this and it was the best advice I ever got! Both of my kids slept 12 hours straight from almost day one and both took great naps during the day. I know this isn't helping you, but it sounds like she needs you to step away and let her try to put herself to sleep but it's probably too late for that. I'm sorry you're going thru this and wish you the very best of luck!

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J.V.

answers from Phoenix on

I could have written this post myself! My daughter Madi is 2 months old, my son Conner is 2 years, and my name is J. too :). I think my daughter has reflux. I started taking her to a naturopatic Dr. (Dr. Kail at arizona advanced medicine) to desensitize her to foods she may by reacting to in my breastmilk and other things in the environment that might be bothering her. I also take her to a gonstead chiropractor, Dr. Kirk Van Metre. The two really seem to be helping. She still doesn't sleep long stretches during the day, but she's doing great at night. Her days are getting better too. When I take both my kids on a walk and wear her in a sling, she takes a great nap, so I do it every day :). She also sleeps in bed with me, and I love it! She's also a tummy sleeper, and has been since I brought her home from the hospital (she had back surgery so she had to be on her tummy for quite a while). I also have a 2 year old little boy. During the day I wear her in my gypsymama wrap or cuddlewrap and let her sleep in there. It keeps us both happy and allows me to do what I need to with my son. At night we have a fan on and play music. We give her a bath then swaddle and she nurses to sleep. She falls asleep pretty quickly and stays asleep for 6 or 7 hours before waking.

I would highly recommend reading The No Cry Sleep Solution by ELizabeth Pantly. It's a really awesome resource! I'll include some great links too to help. I guess for me, my son didn't nap well during the day either until around 6 months, so I am used to all this. Please don't just let her cry. There is a reason for all of this! Hang in there.... I know your pain!

Something that worked great with my son was to breastfeed him laying down when he wanted to be asleep. Then I'd leave a little stuffed animal by him that I sprayed breastmilk on. If he woke up, I ran back in and fed him laying down again to get him back to sleep. Before I knew it, he stopped waking before about an hour and a half at least. I plan to do this with my daughter once I get her all straightened out health-wise.

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp
http://www.sleepnet.com/infant3/messages/534.html
http://www.epjournal.net/filestore/ep05102183.pdf
http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/books/0071381392.php
http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/articles/cuefeeding...
http://www.llli.org/NB/NBSepOct05p204a.html

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D.W.

answers from Phoenix on

This sounds like a lot of the issues that are being addressed in this book : Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby by Tracy Hogg and Melinda Blau.
We got this because our first was coliky and we were looking for help everywhere. This helped us then, and stopped us from falling into too many not so great habits now with our second. I would highly recommend it as it explains how you are contributing to the issue, how to stop it and how to help her learn to fall asleep on her own.

Good luck!
D.

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S.H.

answers from Albuquerque on

Dear J.,
I hope to be a grandmother in the not to distant future but I have been involved with children most of my life as a teacher and now as a Superintendent of a Sunday School. I hope what I have to say will help.

Look at it from baby's point if view. Babies are really very smart and are learning all the time. What is your baby learning? What is the best way to get to sleep? Too many options are confusing. Decide what is a normal time and place and way for baby to sleep, provide these conditions for your precious child and then stick to it. And give it eight weeks. There is some unlearning that needs to go on here. Does your baby have her own bed? Then have her use it, even if it means you getting up to nurse in the night. However, eight weeks? Is she sleeping through the night yet? That is something to look forward to.

The most important point, however, is your state of thought. There needs to be some way for you to get from tired and frazzled to the calm, happy, peaceful, cheerful mommy that has happy calm peaceful cheerful cooperative babies. Take care of yourself. Try prayer. God wouldn't have given you this child if He/She didn't think you weren't just the right one perfectly capable of caring for her. God doesn't make problem children, either . His children are complete in every way, with intelligence and wisdom, with joy and peace, with vitality and curiosity. Since God is Love, He willingly, compassionately, lovingly provides both mother and child (and father and brother) with Everything they need. We don't really need to ask God to do something for us in our apparently trying circumstances, He already has the solutions. He never intended for anyone to suffer. This idea of prayer is to see the perfect picture, to hold to this idea, to live by it, to live up to it. God supports this idea, not the demoralized opposite.

One other suggestion is to talk, and reason with your child in a very adult way, a loving way, but an adult, logical, reasoning, explaining way. Tone of voice tells a lot. Also, a hymn sung softly is a great way to put a baby down to bed and calms mother too. This can lead to nightly prayers when they are talking.

Do you have a cloth carrier with which you can strap baby to your chest. With my first child , we went everywhere with that and she slept peacefully when she needed to. Number two child needed more quiet so he went into his crib for the daytime sleep and number one and I would nap on our big bed. That is, I would nap until the bed stopped jiggling then I would wake to see if she was asleep or if she had gotten up to play. The "rule" was to stay on the bed.

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M.A.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi J.,

I was up and couldn't sleep, and as I was reading this it sounded exactly like my youngest child. He is now 7, but that is exactly what i went through with him. What finally worked for us was putting him on his stomach to sleep, Iknow they advise against that. but all 4 of my kids slept that way and were fine. But, the key was that he had to have something on his back. Weird? RIght? I would put a beany baby on his back and I think he thought it was my hand and would go to sleep. Even now, when he climbs in my bed if I don't have a hand on his back, he will put his on mine. I remember feeling desperate, I had 3 other kids looking at me like, I think you need to send him back. After a while, they would just go and put the beanie baby back on his back if it fell off and we all got some MOM time. Goodluck!!

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S.R.

answers from Phoenix on

Dear J.,

It may be time to visit a doctor. It's possible your baby has a medical condition that is making her cry. Maybe something as harmless (yet frustrating) as colic to something of greater concern. Either way, you can find the cause, or rule out a medical condition. The doctor may be able to offer you advice as well.

An inconsolable baby is just so frustrating and I'm sorry you are experiencing this. It will pass though.

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J.F.

answers from Phoenix on

J.,
I have struggled with 3 out of my 4 kids in just the same way as you described. Please talk to your pediatrician as this can be reflux. Reflux meds worked for 2 of my kids and made all the difference in the world. Also, many may disagree with me on this, but putting them to sleep on their tummies also helped tremendously. I can share some wisdom that took me 4 miserable babies to really get. It came from my oldest son, 4 years old at the time. He said, "Mommy just let him cry and come do this with me. He will be ok." Your baby will cry no matter what you do or don't do, so sometimes, you just have to put her down and tend to your son. She really will be just fine and will still know you love her and will tend to her needs. God Bless you during this difficult time! <<hugs>>

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S.C.

answers from Phoenix on

J.,

I would definitely talk to the pediatrician. Your daughter might have reflux which is causing her pain when she lays down to sleep. My daughter had it as well and the medication helped tremendously. I hated giving any drugs to such a young baby but it's very safe and she desperately needed it. And after just a couple of months we were able to wean her off.

It's also a little bit of a misconception that a baby has to spit up a lot to have reflux. My daughter did spit up, but it never really made it into her mouth. This, apparently, is very common and is called silent reflux. A baby that sleeps better in an upright position might be a sign as well. Anyhow, do some homework and talk to the doctor. They might be able to help you out, even if it's not reflux. Doctors have heard it all before and usually have some great advice to share.

I will say that eight weeks is still a little young to be expecting any DECENT sleep patterns from your child but I can certainly understand how desperate you must be feeling and your situation does sound extreme. My son would only sleep in a vibrating bouncy chair so you might consider trying that. Most of them stop the vibrations after 10 or 15 minutes, but the one I had ran indefinitely and we loved it. Of course, it was pretty much shot a few months later from the constant use but it was money well-spent.

I would also highly recommend getting some kind of white-noise machine. This is the one I've had and it's served me well for several years (running all night long) and is still going strong:

http://www.sleepwellbaby.com/ProductDetails.asp?ProductCo...

White noise is calming for babies and will help them sleep for longer stretches. If you don't want to buy a machine, take the antennae off of an old boombox and find some clear static. Or turn the brightness down on your tv and switch it to a fuzzy station. A box fan is fine too but obviously not practical in the winter months. Even the fan in your master bathroom can be helpful if you leave the door open. Whatever works.

Also, swaddling was CRUCIAL to my daughter sleeping well at night. I know you've already tried this but maybe you didn't have the right blanket? We bought those stretchy thermal recieving blankets that (because of the elasticity) stayed wrapped around her pretty well. But she still wiggled out and the second she did, the party was over. When I get pregnant again, I fully intend to buy this little beauty to solve that problem:

http://www.miracleblanket.com/

And that's all the advice I can think of spewing at you for now. Just remember that this stuff always passes. As you're discovering, each kid is different and what was easy with one will be difficult with the other and vice versa. You're daughter is a completely new little personality but I PROMISE that you'll have her all figured out in no time.

My best advice is to find what works and stick with it....even if it means putting your daughter to sleep in a vibrating chair until she's six months old (guilty!). Or putting her down with a bottle when she's old enough to hold it (double guilty). Or throwing enough binkies in her crib to sink a small ship (EXTREMELY guilty!). We've all done what was necessary to get our kids to sleep so don't be ashamed of what you resort to.

And when all else fails, PRAY!

In the meantime, hang in there, Sweetie. Just remember that you're a great mom and you WILL figure this out. :-)

-S.

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D.S.

answers from Albuquerque on

Looks like you trained her to need some serious "sleep props" in order to get to sleep! There is a book called "Babywise" that teaches you how a baby's feeding schedule affects her sleeping patterns. Hate to tell you this, but you're going to have to let her cry some. You're not helping her by holding her to sleep. She needs to learn how to self-soothe and get herself back to sleep without you. That is healthy for a baby to be able to do. You will create some serious insecurities in her if you don't teach her to fall asleep on her own and stay asleep. Babies are taught how to be good sleepers. It's not something they learn on their own. With the Babywise method, my son slept thru the night (in his own crib, I might add) by 10 weeks. My daughter by 8 weeks. They're both GREAT sleepers and go right to bed and sleep without any fuss or help from us. They are now 6 and 3 years old. Everyone that I've known that has used this method has kids that are good sleepers. Good luck and get the book!

S.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

I can see you have lots of repsonses and that can be great and also overwhelming, too! Just wanted to let you know that I have three girls and all have gone through this for at least some length of time and all HATED the car, which is SO tough when you have other kids to get around and can't just avoid the car. I feel your pain! I have heard about the chiro suggestions myself, but never tried it for my kids. Two of the three did have reflux, so the ped thought that contributed to disliking the car seat and difficulty sleeping flat in the crib. The key for me was a Kangaroo Korner Adjustable Pouch. They'd sleep in it during the day and slept with me at night. We did go through a tough couple of weeks around 8 or so weeks, too, where they fought sleep for a bit, but you'll get through that. The Dunstan Baby Language videos helped a bit through that time. My 8 month old is waking from a nap, so I've got to run. I know this post is a little all over the place. Feel free to email me. I've been through nearly the exact same thing and I can feel your pain as far as the older sibling and any guilt you feel for the baby absorbing so much of your time. Good luck!

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S.H.

answers from Santa Fe on

If it's any consolation, I had to walk my daughter in a stroller on all but a handful (literally) of nights until she was well over a year old in order to get her to sleep.

When our son was born he slept all day and was up all night - didn't work for my wife nursing both kids. We kept him from sleeping one day; prodding him awake, keeping him active - he crashed that night and it adjusted his cycle - but I have never felt completely comfortable about it, because he started in with colic after that and that was very difficult (though probably unrelated, it was hard not to dwell on it).

Try to remember that it will pass!
Steve Harrington

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A.

answers from Albuquerque on

Darn it. You JUST missed the sleep class/seminar down in Albuquerque at http://www.inspiredabq.com. There is also a lending library with many of the books mentioned below. The books are great for offering you tools to try. I am wary of any system that says "This is the ONLY way." That's why I like the No Cry Sleep Solution. She gives you strategies and you can pick and choose what you like.

And, honestly, at her young age, do whatever you need to do to keep EVERYONE's sanity. Get a sling and wear her. And get some of these books to get some strategies. Then make sure you and your husband formulate a plan TOGETHER and support each other in it. That is so important!

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C.J.

answers from Phoenix on

I bought a sleepy wrap and my newborn baby loved it. When my baby wanted to be held all the time this was the solution during the day. It is a baby wrap designed to promote sleep. It comforted my little girl because she is so close to my chest. I tried the bjorn and hot sling and nothing worked but this wrap. Go to sleepywrap.com to check it out. It was the best 30 dollars I ever spent. She was able to fall and stay asleep in it and it freed up my arms ( a small miracle for sure). I HIGHLY recommend it and all my girlfriends with babies feel the same way.
It sounds like you are doing a great job though. No sleep is the WORST!! because you are running on empty without a break.

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S.L.

answers from Tucson on

You could try an herbal formula called Calmazon. It's made of pure, vital herbs from the Amazon rainforest that have been used for centuries to calm the nervous system, relax the body, and aid with sleep issues. Either take it yourself and let her get it through your milk or give her drops of it in her mouth. This formula works on all ages. I have seen it work on a seven month old baby (teething and NOT resting) - within minutes of being given a few drops on his gums, his pain was relieved and he dropped off for a nap (which he never normally did) - so his mom started giving it to him as needed and he went from never napping and sleeping in couple hour stretches at night to taking naps and sleeping though in a couple weeks. She still uses it once in a while on him and always has it handy - in case. The herbs are safe - non-toxic and non-addictive. They have never had any pesticides applied nor been chemically fertilized. If you have any questions (like what the herbs are) feel free to contact me or check out my website: www.shootingstarherbs.amazonherb.net. Good luck.

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V.R.

answers from Albuquerque on

It sounds like your daughter has colic. If you've ruled out anything physically wrong like an ear infection or stomache ache, then it might be colic and that can last months months. I don't beleive there's a cure for colic either.

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D.B.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi J.,I am an older mom.And Grandma. Here are a few ideas.

Try drinking some Chamomile tea. This is safe for nurseing mom's and very calming for baby. Swaddle little one, put in a room with some soothing music. Lower all sounds in home. But you don't have turn off. Lay baby down and read to both babies at same time. You have to take control and prayer is a wonderful gift. Hope these help.

God bless you,
D./Nanna

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C.D.

answers from Phoenix on

I agree with the Baby Whisperer recommendation. She talks about different types of babies and what they need, how to help them eat, sleep, etc. It's a good one! Also check out: The Baby Whisperer Solves all Your Problems. (The library is a great resource for these books)

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L.M.

answers from Phoenix on

It looks like you have a lot of responses to go thru.. I don't know if this would help, but I took my baby to my chiro (who is more unusual than others) and he adjusted her back, very gently (basically just picked her up and squeezed her back in a certain way), and she was better. That helps with reflux. Usually with babies, stomach issues are key. An herbalist also gave me some formula that was supposed to help with a potential parasite. I gave that to her once and her naps were 100 times better. But I don't consider myself an expert, my 6 mos old still wakes once or twice a night. Except last night she actually slept through the night (10 hours!!) and I feel like having a party. I've been so sleep deprived for so long. I guess you just never know what is going to work for your kid. You can get 500 responses of people telling your their experiences, and none may work for you. Pray a lot too. God will send you the right answer that is right for your baby.

K.C.

answers from Albuquerque on

Hi J.. I have 2 suggestions. I have 4 kids ages 12-16 and all of them had some trouble sleeping but only till I figured out why. With my first, at about 6 weeks, I called the Dr. for help. He'd told me that fussy babies were made not born, so, I called and said "Help! I've got a fussy baby and he cries ALL the time!" This was his advice to me "First, stop eating any dairy....babies find it very hard to digest, but if the lack of comfort is due to an upset tummy, you'll know within hours of not having any dairy." "Second, put him (in your case her) on a 3 hour schedule. He's crying all the time already so to hear him cry while you adjust the schedule won't make a difference. Feed him well and then let him go. He should eventually begin to eat, stay awake to play a bit(I used this as bath time), then sleep up until the next feeding. After he is on a 3 hour schedule, you will be able to track what he can't digest. The food you eat will enter your milk 2 feedings after you eat it." So, this is my suggestion, no dairy and then schedule. I know it goes against the grain of common nursing and new baby advice, but it worked for us for all 4 and know lots of mom's who've gone through the same stuff and it works for them too. Best wishes. K.

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R.C.

answers from Albuquerque on

Hi J. :) My daughter was born December 1st, when was yours born? Last week, my husband was away and I slept with my daughter instead of putting her in her bed and though I loved the co-sleeping arrangement, it made it really difficult when daddy came back because she wouldn't sleep without me anymore, after just a week of co-sleeping! It was a struggle to undo what I'd done last week! (And I won't do co-sleeping on a regular basis because I'm terrified of rolling on her, or my deep sleeping husband to roll on her. I didn't really sleep very well during the past week, haha.) Plus I took away the binky this week that she was given during her brief stint in the NICU... Anyway, just a couple thoughts I had -- swaddling my daughter works, and making sure her bed is warm. When I'm ready for her to go to bed, just after her 3yo brother is put to bed, we have a routine. I bathe her in nice warm water and massage her with lotion before dressing her in warm soft pajamas. then I swaddle her, nurse her one last time and put her to bed. Usually the routine of bathtime and massage and nursing are enough to calm her and put her to sleep. But sometimes she is awake and cries a little. When I first put her to bed awake, she would cry and cry and cry. As long as your baby girl is fed, diapered and warm (and not sick) it is okay to let her cry. Good even! It's baby-exercise and will wear her out, too. I let her cry but go in every 10-15 minutes or so. I don't pick her up, but I do stroke her head and cheek and kiss her and coo to her for a minute or two (usually i just make things worse, haha, but I want her to know I'm still here even if she can't see me). If your baby is overtired, sometimes the rocking and holding will just make it worse. Sometimes it's best to just let her learn how to fall asleep on her own in her bed.

The other thing is, she's still very young, she'll sleep a lot during the day, like mine does, but I don't let it be really deep sleep during the day. I keep her around all the hustle and bustle of the household so she's used to the noise and sometimes I'll kiss or tickle or stroke her when I walk past, so that I don't always have to have absolute quiet when baby's sleeping. I do my best to make her awake time productive and fun for her -- bouncing on my lap, smiling at each other, dangling toys (she doesn't really care about them yet!), "dancing" and stuff (so she's good and tired when sleepy-time comes!) Sometimes with me, sometimes on her own under her gym, so she has lots of lovin' time with mama, and also doesn't always need to have me around. With a preschooler who also needs attention, I need my baby girl to learn a little bit of independence.

Anyway, best wishes! no baby is the same, no family the same, it'll just be a matter of figuring out what works for you and for her. I hope someone's suggestions help you!!!

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K.F.

answers from Phoenix on

I highly recommend the book, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It is great and helped me a lot. At nine weeks my daughter slept when we put her in her crib for bed and only woke once per night to breastfeed. We didn't rock her, just set her in her crib swaddled after bathtime at 6:30 every night and she fell asleep on her own. We found the later she went the bed the harder it was for her to fall asleep. At first we tried 7:30 and she screamed the last hour before bed so we kept adjusting it until she was happy. She now goes to bed from 6:30 - 6:30 or 7 without waking and is 17 months old. Good luck.

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W.B.

answers from Phoenix on

One of my five would only fall asleep with a blakie loosely over his head. I know this sounds awful, but he would pull it over himself (starting at about 2 weeks old). I think he was just overstimulated. It would freak me out and as soon as he was asleep I would remove it but he is now 8 and he still does it every night! I go in and take it off before I go to bed. I never would have thought of it (he did), and I always felt the need to explain when we were in public, but it worked like a charm.

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P.S.

answers from Phoenix on

If you haven't already talked with your doctor about this then I would do so. My youngest would only sleep with me holding her or in her carrier and she cried a lot. After talking with the doctor we found out that she had mild colic. She gave me some medication for her tummy and she was able to sleep lying down. Also, he could have an ear infection or other medical problem(s) that can easily be helped.

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