8 Week Old Waking at 4 a.m.

Updated on June 08, 2008
T.M. asks from Bellingham, MA
24 answers

I have an eight-week-old, breastfeeding, baby boy. We're making progress getting him to sleep at night (takes a bottle from Dad at 10:30, sleeps until about 2, nurses and then goes back to sleep). But he consistently wakes up at about 4 or 4:30 in the morning. Sometimes Dad can soothe him and get him back to sleep for another hour (which usually involves bringing him into our bed - yikes!), but sometimes he gets so fussy he's wide awake in about 30 minutes and is only soothed by nursing. Based on his usual eating habits, he does not need to nurse after 2 hours (during the day he goes 3 - 3 1/2 hours), so I think his internal clock might just be stuck waking up at that hour for some reason. Any suggestions on getting him to stay asleep? My goal is to get him to sleep after the 2 a.m. feed until about 6.

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So What Happened?

Thanks, everyone, for the great advice. More than anything, it has put my mind at ease and made me take a step back and just relax! My husband has given him a bottle at 10:30 the last couple of nights, and last night he slept until 3 a.m., woke at 5, nursed with me in bed, and then fell asleep with us there until 7. I love having him so close, and it sounds like I shouldn't worry about creating bad habits this early on, so I'm just going to enjoy it. Thanks again - this website is a great resource - so glad I found it!

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D.D.

answers from Burlington on

Do not put the baby in bed with you you could roll on him and smuther him. I guess you should just feed him.

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M.S.

answers from Boston on

I remember being so worried about a sleep schedule b/c I went back to work after 3 months also. Believe me a lot changes in 1 month. You will get him there. My daughter also took a while to be on a nighttime sleeping pattern.

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S.V.

answers from Providence on

Hi T.,

Try pushing his 10:30 feeding to 11:00, that little 1/2 hour might be what he needs to kick him out of the 4:00 a.m. wake up.

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C.Y.

answers from Boston on

Hi,

Something you might try is some white noise. It sounds like your baby is waking up right at dawn, when the birds start all their chirping. Another thought is blackout blinds in the kids rooms. We have them and it seemed to help with our oldest, who has always been an early waker.

Good luck.

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S.L.

answers from Boston on

Hi there. No need to worry. 8 weeks is still VERY young to want him to sleep longer than 2-4 hours, especially if nursing. If you bring him in bed, just nurse him and he'll go back to la la land. That is what I have done for the 3 of my children as well. I know you say "yikes", but all 3 of mine have spent many nights in my bed nursing, then we all fall asleep while eating.... I know you aren't supposed to, but it is a lot easier and sometimes they sleep a whole lot better. Good luck

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M.B.

answers from New London on

Good luck with that! My feeling (I have a one year old and a two year old, so the newborn thing has passed but is still pretty fresh in my mind) is that he is way too young to have any regular feeding habits or to have an internal clock that will work on your schedule. It sounds like you are doing a great job, even though it is exhausting for you, and you have good reading sources to back you up. Getting up twice to nurse at night is pretty normal...My experience with the newborns was that every time I reached a stage of genuine panic over their sleeping or eating habits and thought they'd never change, they changed. Enjoy!

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A.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

We used Babywise and it worked great for our kids. Both my boys were very different nursers but the key is to pay attention to your baby's cues. If he starts to eat at the same time every night, he will continue to eat then. (4 am or whenever) You might try feeding him closer to every 3 hours during the day even if you have to wake him up to do so. All babies are different. My oldest was like clockwork, sleeping 6-7 hours starting at 8 weeks. My youngest was all over the place, not doing it consistently until 13 weeks. I know it sounds like a long time, but you'll survive. And if you feed them consistently during the day, they will learn to sleep at night. I also recommend "The Happiest Baby on the Block" for learning to soothe your baby with techniques other than just nursing constantly. It can help you know what to do when they are crying 30 minutes to an hour or so after a feeding. Good luck!

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D.N.

answers from Hartford on

It is very, very normal for an 8 week old to be an early riser.
I would be VERY wary of Babywise. Especially with such a young breastfed baby. My mom works on a postpartum unit and had babies come in who were dehydrated because of that book!

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K.T.

answers from Boston on

He is still very young and I would just feed him if he wakes and if he wants to feed. I never got my kids on a real schedule til 6mo old. I can also remember many, many mornings waking to feed them at 4am, then putting them back to sleep just before 5am and they would sleep another 2 hrs or so ......... Just give it time, he is still young.

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A.S.

answers from Providence on

an 8 week old baby's needs change all the time. just when you think you have got the schedule down, they mature and grow, and the schedule changes. if nursing soothes him, nurse him. a baby knows what he needs better than anyone else. you say that he couldn't possibly need to nurse after only two hours, but he is telling you that he does. watch your baby, not the clock.

ezzo, the author of babywise is not a doctor, not a child development expert. his ideas are often harmful if followed too closely. be careful with that book

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K.C.

answers from Springfield on

i agree with the other moms, that he doesnt really have a schedule yet and not to worry about taking him to your bed, they are only small once enjoy him now, i was thinking maybe he isnt taking the full feed at 2 and that might be why he is waking again, i found with my first son if i tried to feed him on a schedule, waking him at 10 for a dream feed or exactly every so many hours it built it into his brain and then he wanted to eat at the same interval all night, but if i left him to tell me when he was hungry he would sleep longer in between, frustrating because his longest sleep cycle wasnt when i was sleeping but before i went to bed until i figured hey i am going to bed when he does!

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J.C.

answers from Boston on

Hes only 8 weeks old,he is suppose to be waking up to eat,I think you are doing the right thing by nursing him when he wants,hopefully this will pass(a month is a long time for "baby time",they can do ALOT in a month)So dont get discouraged he will be sleeping staight through before you know it!!I would just follow what your little one wants,rather than what the book says hes still an infant!!Good Luck!!

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L.M.

answers from Boston on

My best piece of advice would be to learn to nurse while lying down. This way you both can get more sleep. Also the baby may need to nurse, he may be going thru a growth spurt. I wouldn't recommend holding him off from nursing or a bottle.
My daughter was getting up twice a night until around 3 months then went to once a night but even now that she is 4 months she will go for 5 days needing to get up twice a night because she's hungry. I just go with it. I figure if they are getting up even being swaddled (this does really help) they need to food.
The quicker you can feed your baby the faster you can get back to sleep yourself.
L. M

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M.B.

answers from Hartford on

I have a 6wk old who is doing the same thing. Let me know if you find a magic answer. she nurses 8p, 12m, 2a, then 4a!!! daddy usually gets up and tries to help out around 4 but as with your little one she wants to nurse! perhaps they are both getting ready for a growth spurt - smile.
good luck and let me know!

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L.C.

answers from Springfield on

T., I am sorry to say, but I think your being a tad bit unrealistic at trying to get your little one a such a ridged schedule so soon. I commend you for deciding to nurse, but you need to understand, along with that comes much less sleep. I nursed both of my children and they both woke at least each 2.5-3 hours for several months. I suggest for you to actually try to get yourself into the mindset that your baby will not be nursing forever, and this time will litterally fly by, so you should cherish each moment you have with him. I found that time was the perfect time to take an extra moment to sniff him and hold him. best of luck. L. C.

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M.L.

answers from Burlington on

Up until as old as 9 months, babies still need to eat at night, and until about 4 months, they can need to eat as many as 2 or 3 times a night. This is normal. My sleep "bible" is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, and this is where I learned this information, which I found to be very accurate.

That being said, the fact that he is awake only 2 hours after the last feeding is something my son started doing at about the same age, and I theorized that he wasn't getting enough milk from me at that one nightly breastfeeding. We switched to a bottle only at night, and it INSTANTLY stopped this problem.

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S.S.

answers from Providence on

T.,

I am in agreement with the other responses, in general. Isn't it funny how no one really tells you how challenging it all really is? I still have not gone back to work full-time, and my youngest is in first grade! I'm a single mom supporting three kids, and trying to be hands-on, too. It's so challenging to be there for your kids and try to survive financially. But just try to remember that these time, precious and exhausting as they are, are totally temporary. That will help you get through the rough spots and it will help you enjoy the good stuff more. Best of luck to you and your family.
S.

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M.F.

answers from Boston on

Basically it really isn't going to be possible to get your baby on a schedule. If the baby is up at 4, feed him. He will regulate his schedule himself. I found that the easiest thing for me to do was to take my baby to bed with me and nurse her when she wakes up. It made all the difference for me. Babywise isn't a good book to follow, it has been said by many pediatrician that scheduling doesn't make sense.

http://www.keepkidshealthy.com/reviews/parenting_books/on...

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S.K.

answers from New London on

My best advice is to take him into your bed each morning and nurse him. You'll get some more sleep, Dad will get his sleep and baby will be happy. Which at his age is what the goal is. If he wants to nurse- let him! He's so young that needs and wants are the same thing.
Give him the love and affection that he wants and you will all be happier.
Sooner than you realize he'll be 8 years old and won't even want you to hug him! Enjoy it now and you'll always have those early morning cuddles to remember.
-S.

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P.P.

answers from Boston on

That is completely normal. Babies are not expected to sleep straight through the night so soon. Usually the golden number is 4-5 months, or 10-12 pounds. Until then, expect to feed him on demand or about every 2-3 hours. -P. Pace Mother of 5, including 13 year old triplets.

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B.S.

answers from Boston on

If you feed him more frequently during the day, he's less likely to wake up at night. I know lots of people use Ezzo, but the method has many critics.

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S.S.

answers from New London on

I agree, he's a little young to be on any type of concrete feeding schedule, but it seems like he's working on it. In about a month or 2 he may start to sleep right through the night and believe it or not, you might miss those 4am feedings. And don't worry about bringing him into your bed. I was so afraid that because I sometimes let my daughter nurse herself (and me) to sleep in our bed that she wouldn't want to sleep in her own crib, but the opposite happened. Now, it's nearly impossible for her to sleep anywhere else.
If you are able to soothe him back to sleep without him crying his little eyes out, then do that, but there's nothing wrong with an 8 week old nursing a few times a night. He may decide next week to sleep until 6 =) Good luck!

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L.S.

answers from Boston on

T.~ Hello. I think that everyone has given you great advice, but one thing to always keep in mind is the each baby is different and has his/her own individual needs. There are hundreds of books on sleep and infinite patterns that each baby develops~eeveryone and every book is going to tell you something different.

At 8 weeks your baby is simply not physiologically ready to be sleeping through the night. Yes, you will hear of people saying my baby did at 6 weeks, BUT the key is is that this is not the norm. Even Dr. Ferber doesn't recommend any type of sleep training until at least 4 months. Most babies take 4-6 months to develop a sleep schedule. My son has always gotten up between 5am and 5:30....literally since brining him home from the hospital. This is his body clock...we have tried many things, but he always comes back to this and as much as I wish I could sleep until 6am but it is just not what his body wants/needs. I hope that I am not sounding harsh as I know it is so difficult when sleep deprivation is in high gear. One thing that may get him to sleep longer in the a.m is if you bring him into bed with you. Also, one helpful piece of advice my doc gave me was that sleep is not linear with babies....they make progress and then in our eyes take a few steps back when they have developmental milestones, sickness etc....this helped me not to stress as much about trying to mold my son's sleep patterns.

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M.K.

answers from Boston on

I wonder if feeding him more frequently during the day would help? It's possible he's eating less frequently during the day when there are so many fun distractions and then doing his main eating at night.

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