8 Week Old Doesn't Want to Go to bed...........help

Updated on March 28, 2008
B.S. asks from Coppell, TX
91 answers

We are having trouble getting our 8 week old to go to sleep at night and are not sure what to try next. Once she is asleep she seems to do fine but getting her down initially is very stressful and unpredictable. She pretty much has a nightly meltdown between 7-7:30 every night. During this time there is little we can do to console her other than hold her and rock her. We tried to see if she would go down for the night at that time, no go.
Our nightly routine is that we take her up to her room at 8:30pm and rock her until 9pm when she gets her bedtime feeding. It takes her anywhere from 20-40 minutes to eat. She is usually very sleepy by the time she is done eating, at which point we put her in her crib. If we're lucky, she'll stay asleep for 10 minutes and then wake up, on the not so lucky nights she wakes up as soon as we put her in her crib, either way she winds up being WIDE awake and we have to start all over. She just doesn't seem to want to stay in bed.
I guess my question is, is this normal (that she wakes up when we put her in her bed) and any suggestions on what to do to alleviate the associated anxiety that my husband and I experience each night?

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So What Happened?

thank you all so much for your responses and support!!! bedtime is a lot less stressful now. we started swaddling her again (we swaddled her when she was first born then she went throug a phase of not wanting to be swaddled) - if you can call it that, we don't swaddle her hands in and throughout the night she gets her feet out. the bath suggestion didn't work so well as she's not a big fan of the bath ha ha. she still has her little meltdown around 7-7:30pm so we started letting her nap and just use that time as quality cuddle time and that seems to help her, we tried to put her down for the night at that time but it was a big fight so we let it go (for now).
I'm in the process of reading the books that some of the mamas suggested so thank you for that. finally, we changed our view on the situation and have just come to appreciate that our little cuddlebug just wants some extra love right now. so we will take it while we can - like many of you pointed out, it's only a matter of time before she grows up and decides that she doesn't need our cuddles any more. boo hoo.
thanks again for everything!

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H.D.

answers from Dallas on

I read and followed the advice in the book, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It recommends a strict schedule (which doesn't fly with all people) of feeding, napping and wake time. They recommend at least 2 daily naps at this age, if not 3. They suggest a wake up time of 7 a.m. and the first nap at 9 (until 11) and the second nap at 1:00 (until 3) and a possible 3rd nap at around 5. They also recommend a consistent nap/bedtime routine. (diaper change, story, then place in bed and leave). I read the same story every time (and still do even though he's almost 2) and that seems to trigger a yawn and he puts his head down. It is a consistent cue that it's time for sleep. That is the gist of it. My first son sounds much like your little one and I wish I'd had this book for him. I used it for my second son after 5 months of disordered sleep and it worked like a charm in only a couple of days. They do recommend the cry it out technique and that is difficult, but it is so worth it to have a well rested infant. AFter implementing this program my 5 month old was sleeping from 6:30 pm until 7 a.m plus taking 2 2-hour naps a day until he turned one and then he dropped the a.m. nap. He still sleeps 12 hour stretches at night. The fussy period you describe is normal. All babies have a fussy time during the day (most are in the evening, mine had his upon waking probably due to his reflux). Wish you the best! hd

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C.

answers from Dallas on

I read something once that put it like this: imagine that you fall asleep in your most comfy of places, your bed, with your favorite sheets, pillow, temperature, etc. then wake up in the middle of the kitchen floor with nothing! that's what it's like for your baby to fall asleep in your arms (favorite, most comfy place) then wake up in the crib. I thought it was a funny, but likely true analogy.

SLEEP BEGETS SLEEP! as someone else said. I allowed my first child to become over-tired because I didn't respect his sleep needs (set naptime place and time, set bedtime, routines with both). I would also suggest an earlier bedtime, before the meltdowns. sometimes they get delirious too--my son would get really silly, giggly and funny when he was super tired. I thought he was wide awake and wouldn't sleep, but I had really missed his "window" of sleep/bedtime readiness. my second child's bedtime was 6:30pm at first! my first's bedtime was 7pm. sleep is as important as food at this age. it's when they grow!

book that helped me: The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night by Elizabeth Pantley. though I also read Secrets of the Baby Whisperer and Happiest Baby on the Block when I had my second child. I didn't want to make the same mistakes I'd made with my first child.

I wish you the very best. you're seeking help early, which is great. I waited until my first was 5 months old and well established in some not very good sleep habits. good job!

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E.M.

answers from Dallas on

Please relax and enjoy your sweet little night owl. Her sleeping habits will change so many times over the first year it will make you dizzy. More than likely she is feeling your stress levels and anxiety when you put her down. I was probably breaking all kinds of rules but I enjoyed my first born (now 11) at all hours of the night. I was kind of crazy and couldn't put her down because I felt like she was safer with me than anywhere else and it was easier to nurse every two hours if she was with me. Something that you can try of course is schedule some playtime, followed by a soothing bath, then feeding, and then perhaps after a little more rocking she will be ready to drift off for the evening. At 8 weeks she's still learning how to get her needs met. Just give her the attention she needs and remember that this too shall pass.
Before you know it she'll be a teen wondering why you woke her up on a weekend.

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E.C.

answers from Dallas on

Hi B.,
I agree with the other mamas who suggest putting your little one to bed before the meltdowns start. I too thought it sounded backwards, I thought keeping a baby up later would mean they would sleep later in the morning (which was all about me), but well rested babies go to sleep easier and sleep longer than babies that are over-tired or over-stressed. I read "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer" and the book suggested putting your baby down the very first time you see them rub their eyes or show signs of tiredness. For my son this was almost routinely around 6:30pm, but on occassion as early as 6:00pm. I thought there was no way he could sleep all night if I put him to bed that early, but here we are 4 months later and he is sleeping 11 hours all night and has been ever since I read the book. I also believe he goes down easy because we follow the same nightly routine, every night, regardless to if we are at home or not. As soon as he shows signs of being tired, rubbing his little eyes and/or yawning, I whisk him up, we tell both his daddy and his dogs goodnight, walk quietly to his room while explaining I am about to put him down for the night, we tell our pictures of our grandparents goodnight, I sit and rock him with his last bottle, and I put him in his bed before he is asleep. Each time I talk to him and explain each part we are about to do. I place my hand on his chest to soothe him, then I walk out of the room and he goes to sleep. The book suggests that if your little one starts to cry, it okay to pick him up, but only until he stops crying and then you are to immediately put him back down. This method worked for me because I didn't like the idea of letting him cry it out, and I have never had to let him cry it out with this method. Not once. My mother was amazed over the Easter holiday when we stayed at her house that even in an unfamiliar home, in an unfamilar crib, I could put my son to bed, without rocking him completely to sleep, and he would be out in less than 10 minutes. She thought it was crazy to leave him in bed awake until the third night when she realized how quiet and peaceful he slept while she struggled to put my nephew down who fought her at every step. Then I got a laugh when she said that her kids (my siblings and I) never went to bed easily and she had to rock us all night. :) One thing that also helped I think is to place your baby in his crib for naps and some quiet time during the day to himself before bedtime....maybe he is unfamiliar with his crib if you are only using it for bedtime? Early on my son and I practically lived in our living room, but I made it a point at about 8 weeks to start putting him in his crib during the day while he was awake so he could get used to the surroundings. Swaddling and our swing were also good soothers at 8 weeks. Good luck!

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D.W.

answers from Dallas on

Trust me I know where you are coming from, my daughter will be 1 in a couple of weeks and she did the same thing. 1st of all is your baby collicky or have digestive problems? The first 2 months of my babies life was a big adjustment I didn't think she would ever sleep she would stay up all night unless I held her and then she would sleep a little bit in my arms. I would pray for just 15-30 min. sleep a night. Anyway, I went out and bought Dr. Brown's baby bottle and bought a fisher price rainforest swing. It was amazing how much better she drank with the Dr. Brown's bottle (I was actually pumping out breast milk for her)and putting it in a bottle. Anyway, she was 2 1/2 months at this point. As soon as she drank her milk I put her in the swing and she slept for 10 hours straight, it was the best night sleep that I had since she arrived. People would tell me "do not let her sleep in a swing" but my philosophy was whatever it takes to make her and myself happy and to be able to sleep. Now, the first night that happened I was constantly going in her room and making sure she was alive because I was terrified since she was sleeping so good.

Hopefully this helps and maybe you are already doing some of these things, but that's how I survived!! Also, I've heard from several friends to get a book called baby wise, they said that when they bought the book it worked like a charm and their baby was sleeping all night.. Don't know a lot about it I only know what worked for me....
Good luck.

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C.B.

answers from Dallas on

I feel your pain and from experience, it does get better. I am a first time mom as well. My little girl is now 3 years old. When she was a newborn she had horrible meltdowns everynight that would start around 7pm. She appeared to be in pain and would pull her feet up toward her belly when I would hold her. Her crying lasted for 3 hours. I can't tell you how many nights I held her and cried with her. I thought she was a colic baby but, she was diagnosed with acid reflux and was put on previcid. Her little stomach had a hard time digesting protiens - so I had to stop breast feeding and put her on Nutramigen (sp?). I also propped up her mattress with a few burps cloths or blanket, just so slighty to help with the refulx. She also slept in my bedroom next to my bed in her bassinet for the first 3 months, then I put her in a pack-n-play for the next 7 months. Somewhere between 10 and 11 months I moved her up stairs in her own room. There was no problem with the transistion. As her pediatrian told me, at 4 months, her meltdowns completely went away.

If acid reflux is not the problem, then here is another option. I went and bought the book called "Baby Wise". My sister-in-law did it and had great success, so I tried it. It really works! At 10 weeks we put her on a schedule and within a week or two she was sleeping thru the night. She seemed to really enjoy the scheduling and so did her Mom and Dad.

Good luck

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K.M.

answers from Dallas on

I can say that the one thing I have learned from books, online help etc is that you never put them in bed already asleep because they usually wake up soon and then they are confused on how they got there. The trick is to put the baby down while she is still awake and let her fall asleep on her own. Its important for her to learn to do that. Because otherwise you are soothing her to sleep. Be it letting her fall asleep while feeding, rocking etc. And then you will always have to sooth her to sleep. I know it sounds hard and it is at first but it does work. Just dont let her cry for long amounts of time. Keep reassuring her that its ok and its "nap time" or "night night" time. I myself am a 1st time mom and he is 6 months old now. We went through so much just like you have. Just know that it does get easier. My son now sleeps from around 10pm to anywhere from 7am-9am gets up, eats and goes right back to sleep for another couple of hours. He naps for usually 1-2 hours through the day too. But I was pulling my hair those first few months!!! Seems I am going to be again now that he is teething! One hurdle at a time! Thats all I can say! Good luck!

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A.S.

answers from Dallas on

We had the same hectic time with our baby too. Anytime we rocked him to sleep in our arms and then put him in the crib, he'd wake up the minute his little back touched the mattress. We finally had to stop doing that b'c it wasn't working for us and put him in bed while awake to help him learn to self-soothe; he'd cry for a short while but eventually b'c he was tired he'd go to sleep. We also swaddled him nice and snug at that age. It's so hard to get babies to do what we expect them to do, and it's very tiring and stressful for us. You're not the only one whose gone thru this; it will get easier eventually, but babies are full of surprises!

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L.S.

answers from Dallas on

Yes - it is all normal. My now 8 month old daughter did the same thing. You've gotten very good advice. I would add that if you are able, take her out for a ride in the stroller for just a short walk. Something about fresh air has helped all my kids (I also have two boys.)
Also try getting into the bedtime routine earlier. She may be over-tired. It sounds backwards, but all my kids would - and still do - get very agitated and active when they are really tired. If you catch them before they get this way, bed time is easier. My oldest went down between 6:30 and 7! My daughter goes down between 7 and 7:30. When she started fussing at me I decided it was time to have an earlier bed time and that helped.
I also agree with the poster who asked if you were keeping her upright after you feed her to make sure she doesn't have a burp hiding in there. Make sure you keep her upright for 5 minutes or so, even if she is totally out. A burp will probably still sneak out.
HTH - good luck!
L.

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N.C.

answers from Dallas on

B., I know this sounds like a silly question, but are you burping her and putting her in an upright posistion before you are laying her in her crib, even if you can't get her to burp right away rock her at an upright possition to give her a chance to get some more out before you lay her down. This always helped me with my daughter when she was that age. Good Luck

-N. (mother of 3/12 year old and one to come in November)

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M.G.

answers from Dallas on

B., My 8 week old does that same exact thing- I believe that they are going through a growth spurt. B/c she did this at 4 weeks too. Hang in there- I think it will go back to normal in a few days.

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L.S.

answers from Wichita Falls on

Have you tried wrapping her tightly like how the hospital does? This worked wonders for our daughter who is now 8 yrs old. We use to put her arms down by her side and wrap her up as tight as we could, those nurses could do it so much better and that helped her to go to sleep at night. By doing this it reminds them of when they were in the womb. Good luck.

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D.L.

answers from Dallas on

Wow! does this bring back memories! My daughter hardly ever napped, and slept only a few hours at a time for about the first couple of months. Later she still didn't nap more than about 30 minutes at a time but slept longer at night. We held her a lot and tried to help her feel comfort. We had her bassinette in our room and that helped too. Some babies just need a little more affection/attention than others I guess. This does not make them "bad" babies, it just makes them more of a challenge. What I noticed the most is that it was a constantly changing process and none of the phases last very long they just feel like forever when your in the middle of a difficult one. We decided we would just love her through any difficulty she was having. The bad news is that I hardly slept the first year of her life (partly my SIDS anxiety). The good news is that now she is a very sweet, smart and well adjusted teenager. Your baby is VERY young. Give her time to feel comfortable with this new world she entered. Babies are not all alike just like children and adults are not all alike in what works best for them. Be there for her when she needs you and she will learn to trust and know that you love her. You will not "spoil" a baby by holding and rocking her. Accept her for the baby she is and even when she doesn't do the so-called normal sleep thing just love her and roll with it. It will pay off a million fold down the road.

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D.J.

answers from Dallas on

Johnson & Johnson has an AMAZING website www.baby.com, that has all kinds of information on sleeping and everything else baby. It was very helpful with my daughter when she was first born. I also started a nightly routine when she was about your daughter's age. We would have a bath, massage, and a bedtime story. When we gave her a bath we would use special "nighttime" baby wash and lotion. It has lavender scent which is very soothing and calming to babies. Johnson & Johnson have a bedtime body wash and lotion, but the store brands work just as well. They are usually in purple containers & look for "night time". On the nights that we didn't have a bath we would still do the massage and bedtime story. This worked really well for my daughter and she slept through the night before she was three months old. Hope this helps!!

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J.B.

answers from Dallas on

Question: Are you a stay at home mom? If not, your daughter just wants to be with YOU! If you are, here are some options. Is her room dark? Try playing a soft lullaby CD. Let her sleep in her swing or on your tummy. If I remember when my twins were this age, the bedtime was really around 10 or 11. They just take a "nap" around 7.....to 10ish. Do you swaddle her? I wrapped my kids up tight & secure. Maybe she's waking herself up w/ her hands or movement. Good luck. Hope some of this helps. My twins are 2 now & I remember those days..........you'd try anything....

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S.N.

answers from Dallas on

B., There may be something about the room that is bringing the anxiety and it may be simply she wants to stay next to you all and she feels your absence... She was next to you for so long... Did she sleep fine in the bassinet next to your bed? If so this is likely the issue....... basically we are created by God- spirit soul and body and she is missing your spirit that she feels absent when you are not in her presence even though asleep... The best of all options is to pray that she feel God's presence all around her...You can have a picture of you all in her room and/or a recording playing softly of your voice singing or reading the bible etc.\Breath in His presence and enjoy the time that passes all too quickly. Love in Christ S. N.

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J.S.

answers from Dallas on

Is she burping before you put her down? It seems like she should be going to sleep a little bit earlier, like 7-7:30, but I guess as you said she is getting that feeding later before she goes to sleep. I know some experts recommend putting the baby down when she is sleepy, but not completely asleep, so she will learn to go to sleep on her own. I actually had to let mine cry for a while a couple of nights, then they started going to sleep on their own when I put them down. I never had to let them cry for more than about 30 minutes. Just a tip, make sure she is getting fresh air every day, it helps them sleep. My first one did nightly crying for about a month, and taking her outside seemed to help. I also had something called the Tummy Tub, which you fill with warm water, and the baby feels like they are back in the womb. It works great for colicky babies. I got mine from a nurse midwife. Don't worry, she will get her schedule worked out. Good luck!

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H.H.

answers from Dallas on

Most babies usually do have a "fussy" time in the evenings...they just can't make it from their last nap until bedtime. My 9 month old daughter was always wanting to start winding down for the night around 5:30-6ish. We'd try and stretch this out if possible. Maybe you could try a warm bath around 7ish when she gets fussy, then proceed with massage, pajamas, rocking, bedtime feeding, etc. She might even need to be heading to bed earlier than 8:30????

And swaddling worked wonders for our little one, who was very colicky. I bought The Miracle Blanket (www.thenestingplace.com) and swaddled her until about 6 months. She went from sleeping 30 min. increments to several hours.

As for waking when you lay her in the crib....does she cry or just stare up at you? Sometimes my little one cries for a few minutes and then drifts off to sleep. But other times I do have to start all over (and since I nurse her to sleep, I'm the only one who can put her to sleep).....and I just sit in the rocker a little longer once I see her eyes closed. I know it's frustrating, but your baby girl is still young and unfortunately her sleeping patterns will change as the months go on. You'll get on a good routine and then they decide to change it. They just love keeping us on our toes :)

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M.B.

answers from Dallas on

sounds normal.. she might have gas? Is she jerky when she wakes--with her legs and arms or does she arch her back--you might find some natural teas or gas drops to help alleviate this. Establishing a routine is important and if babies and children are exhausted they don't sleep well. She might need more naps during the day. Good Luck!!

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D.B.

answers from Dallas on

Are her sheets perhaps cold? It helped with one of our children if we warmed up the bed with the hair dryer on "warm" (not hot) before we laid her down.

That said, check out baby whisperer---there are some terrific moms to help coach you through these early days there and the ideas are gentle and reasonable.

Enjoy these fleeting days---she'll be wanting your car keys before you know it.

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L.G.

answers from Dallas on

Hi B.,

My son went through the same thing. I actually had to feed him every 2 hours until he was 9 months old. Boy, was I tired! Anyway, there are just some children who need that extra security of being with you. We actually held my son for a long while and actually let him sleep on our chest and sometimes in the bed with us, because that was just easier than fighting it. 8 weeks is still pretty young and your daughter probably still needs that closeness with you. I believe it is part of their survival instint. My daughter went in her crib all night at 4 months and did fine. I follwoed the same process as with my son.

I hope this helps some. Bless you and good luck.

L. G.

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L.D.

answers from Dallas on

Go buy the books "Secret of the Baby Whisperer" and put your baby on the EASY plan so that your baby does not need a bottle or rocking to go to sleep. Your baby needs to learn how to fall asleep on her own or you will be rocking and walking a 20 lbs baby before you know it. Then go get the book "Happiest Baby on the Block" and try the techniques including swaddling to calm down your baby. Begin and finish a night time routine BEFORE the meltdown starts even if it means moving up the whole thing by an hour. I can't say enough good things about the Boppy Swaddler or the Rainforest Crib Toy with lights and music. These have been part of our going to be system. My son (13 weeks) has his bottle, hangs out on my lap for a few minutes while we talk about going to bed, gets a diaper change, gets a baby massage, is sung to and then gets a book and bedtime prayer. I swaddle him and put him down while he is awake and he goes to sleep on his own. I owe it all to the books I told you about. Good luck!!!! :-)

T.B.

answers from Naples on

Hi there, I'm a mom of a 7 yr.old and a 3 yr.old. I can feel your pain!! My husband and I read the book, "Sleeping Through the Night" before we had our first. Everyone likes to give advice and it's all so varied. We read the book and just stuck with it. It's basically the "let them cry it out" method. If you're not comfortable with that I understand but it really isn't as bad as you may think. There's even a chapter in the book that covers any feelings of guilt you may have. Both of my kids were sleeping through the night by 8 to 10 weeks. It's not too late to check it out and maybe even give it a try. I will say that having a bedtime routine and being consistent is the real key. I hope this helps at least a little. If you're interested in the book (it's an easy read) you can find it at any of the major book stores or on amazon.com. Good luck!! You can do it!

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M.H.

answers from Dallas on

Read the baby whisperer

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D.D.

answers from Dallas on

This is very normal. I have 3 children, the oldest being 7. As hard as it is, when I was going through this, all the books and my pediatrician told me that somethimes they just have to cry it out. They much prefer to be held and cuddles then to lay in bed. You can add a sleep postioner to help her feel like she is still being held close, but other than that you may have to let her cry it out a few times. This will be much harder on you than the child. I cried with them a few times because it bothered me so much. My 4 month old cried for 30 minutes once. It was rough, but after 3 or 4 days, the child began to understand.
Not the most enjoyable way to do it, but it does work.
Hope this helps.

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H.B.

answers from Dallas on

I don't know if this will help or not, but I have had this problem with my seven month old! Sometimes what we do to get him to go back to sleep is to keep him in his crib and hold his arms down and ssshh him back to sleep. Sometimes he fights it really bad and I will take him out and play with him really hard so he can get good and tired and then do the arm thing again and he falls asleep. Sometimes he doesn't fight it and he will just fall right to sleep. Also another thing that has seemed to work is we have a crib toy that plays music and lights up and he likes to look at it when he is going to sleep. Another thing we do is we don't rock him anymore because when they get used to that they won't go to sleep any other way. We also give him a nice warm bath before going to bed so he knows it is bedtime. He hates going to bed so we have to establish a set bedtime routine so he won't fight it too bad. I hope this helps! I know how frustrating it can be when they won't go to bed!

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I.B.

answers from Dallas on

I don't know if the nightly meltdown is normal or caused by your baby not feeling well or being over tired. But the part about her waking up after being put to bed sounds very common. It happened to me! I started teaching my first baby how to sleep using a method that I felt comfortable with. I found it in one of the "Baby Whisperer" books by Tracy Hogg. You can scan one of her books at a bookstore and see if you like her methods. So far, I have used her methods with my first born and they worked. I will see what happens with baby number two due in two weeks! Good Luck!

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R.P.

answers from Dallas on

Swaddle her if your not already doing this, it gives them comfort like when she was in the womb. Also make sure she is well burped after her feedings, she might still have some gas and unable to sleep. Good luck with everything!

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M.H.

answers from Lubbock on

swaddle, swaddle, swaddle.

Miracle blankets are awesome!

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J.B.

answers from Amarillo on

My son did the same thing when he was that age too. He immediately woke up because he went from a being held next to a warm body to a cold baby bed. I laid a heating pad on warm in his bed about 20 minutes before I laid him down, then removed it right before I put him in his crib. It worked like a charm. If he was asleep before I laid him down he stayed asleep, if he was not asleep yet, the warmth helped relax him and he quickly drifted off to sleep. If she's not swaddled when you lay her down, I would try that too, but I highly recommend the heating pad!

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R.S.

answers from Dallas on

B., the best advice I can give you is to sleep with your baby. I know lots of people are against the family bed for a variety of reasons, but unless you (or your partner) are a very heavy sleeper, very overweight or take any kind of narcotic or sleeping medication, I just don't see the problem with it. You will have to get your husband on board however, because it will require some creativity in the intimacy department! I have four children between 15 years old down to 18 months, and I've slept with all of them. This also facilitates successful breastfeeding. I would suggest a book for you called "Nighttime Parenting" by Dr. William Sears. I read it as a first time mom and it totally changed my outlook on parenting. Babies spend 9 months in the womb, surrounded by mama, and then they are born and we expect them to sleep alone through a long night? Doesn't make sense to me. I was never sleep deprived with any of my newborns because this works for our family.

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C.C.

answers from Dallas on

Sounds like your little one may be colicky, which may explain the nightly meltdown. The good news is that they usually start to outgrow colic in the 4th month. WebMD is a great resource for determining if it is colic (http://www.webmd.com/video/parker-colic), or you should speak to your pediatrician. As for her odd routine . . . well, 8 week old babies rarely have routines! You aren't doing anything wrong . . . it is normal behavior for your baby. My 14 month old was always wide awake at night at that age, and it is tough to deal with because you're tired and just want to get some sleep. But hang in there and keep doing what you're doing, because slowly but surely, over the next 2-3 months, she will fall into the routine you are setting. My little one sleeps great now, and it is all because we just kept plugging away at the routine until she finally grew into it. Good luck!

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A.F.

answers from Dallas on

Our daughter did not like her crib either. She wanted to be close to us ALWAYS!!!! She slept on our chests the first 3 months and then we transitioned her to pack and play in our room. She is so little right now and it sounds like she just wants the closeness/comfort of Mommy and Daddy. It will get better but remember they are only tiny for a short time so if your nerves/anxiety can handle it, let her sleep with you for now.

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H.S.

answers from Dallas on

YES! It's called the "witching hour". Some babies are worse about it than others. I've had friends tell me that had to "walk the halls" for hours with some of their kids. It will pass, but it helps to take a deep breath and find a way to relax because they feel your stress. I read somewhere that the cause is that they realize they are alone. They are with you all day and then suddenly in this bed and no one is there and it scares them.

With my daughter I remember trying to be very active with her during the day - pretty much making sure she was very tired. The feeding right before hand is good - making sure she's dry as well so that is not the problem. It will pass...each baby is different and each parent - some will "ferberize" this early (I didn't - just couldn't). We would rock for a while and I'd still give her the motion while laying her down and then gently rock her basinet or put the motion sensor on.

Sorry if that isn't the greatest answer...but each child really is going to be different, but yes it's normal! Remember to breath!

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B.B.

answers from Dallas on

Hello, I am a mom of three boys 7, 6, 4 and my first child did the same thing, so I know what you are going through. This may be hard for a first time mom but it has worked for me on my other two children and on my daycare kids. If she has a meltdown everynight at the same time then she probably has colic. What my mom and I did was give him mylcone drops every night during that time and swaddle her really good and patting her back. Are you breast feeding or formula? I would then change her schedule. The schedule that I use is as follows:

7:00am Breakfast feeding
8:00am to 10:00 morning nap
11:00 lunch
12:30 to 2:30 or 300 afternoon nap
3:00 afternoon feeding
630pm dinner feeding
800 bedtime and down for the night.

and for the dinner feeding put some rice cereal in bottle with her breastmilk or formula. Dont mix too much just enough to make it stick in her tummy. They make the nipples that have an X on top the nipple those are usually used for food or older babies. Make sure that she is burp really really good and then at 800 go put her in her bed with a pacifier if she uses one and close the door and don't go in there. And do this during her morning nap and afternoon nap. Everytime you put her to bed, just lay her in her bed and no rocking. She will fuss. If she is still crying after 10mins then go in there and console her and walk out contiune every day and eventually she will get used to you just putting her in the bed. NO MORE ROCKING!!! She knows that if she crys you are going to give into her and will contiune. My first son son did this until he was 2 and being young and a first time mom I didn't know what to do. I rock him everynight and the littlest cry I would go and pick him up. I never got any sleep either. until I quiet giving in to him and it worked. So my second child was immediately after every feeding put in his bed and I would close the door and walk out and I never had any problems with my other two boys. It is going to be hard for the first 3 weeks but it works!!! So try that and good luck!!!. And when she turns 4 months no more middle of the night feedings. You should be able to just give her her pacificer and she should go right back to sleep. Contiue with the rice cereal everynight with a bottle and that will keep her tummy full.

B.

P.S. Let me know how it goes [email protected]____.com one other thing no need to go buy and book, just my opinion that they don't work and to long and drawn out.

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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

I had the same type of problems with my now 8 month old. It is so hard the first few months especially with your first baby. Things will get better though, I promise. You will enjoy putting her to bed and have a good night's sleep again, but it will be a little while. She is still so little. Just be patient and try putting her to bed earlier, so that your not up so late trying to get her to stay in her bed. Maybe she is not up long enough before bedtime and she just isn't sleepy. I would make sure I had her up at least 2 and a half hours before I tried to put her down again. I would personally never let a baby cry especially not one that young. I would just be patient and get through it the best way you can. I put both mine in bed with me when they went through a period where they wouldn't sleep in their own bed(no, this probably isn't the last time you will go through difficult bedtime routines) and no mine do not sleep with me nor do they want to. I just preferred sleep and peace rather than fight it. But I wouldn't keep trying to put her in her bed each night to keep up with your established routine. Good luck and know it will pass.

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D.S.

answers from Dallas on

As someone mentioned below, try swaddling. It helped A LOT! I wish I had started it when he was first born because by the time I tried the swaddle thingies (by Kiddopotumus), it didn[t take long before our little Houdini was big enough to wiggle out. OH and if you don't have a swing, GO OUT TOMORROW AND GET ONE! It helped put our little bundle of joy to sleep many, many nights and I have several friends who also swear by the swing.

That being said, when my baby was newborn, we too spent MANY hours holding him through the night. My doctor reassured me that I wouldn't spoil him at such a young age by holding him so much. Pretty much the only way I could get any sleep myself was to hold him until he was sound asleep, and of course he would wake up when i tried to put him back in his crib...so i'd start over. I learned to survive on about 2-3 hours of sleep a night for several months. There were even times I fell asleep with him in my arms (not saying that's the safest method but exhaustion would sometimes take over & I literally could not keep my eyes open). It will get better. Hang in there girl.

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L.G.

answers from Dallas on

when my daughter was born I let her sleep in our room in a basinet close to the bed, bundled up in a blanket, it usually worked pretty well, I think cause of the white noise from the fan in our room. If she has a problem at a certain time of night, try starting her routine a little earlier, chances are she is getting way too tired before you try to put her to bed and then she is too tired to be consoled. I at one time was putting my daughter to bed by 7pm, they may wake up earlier than you would like but... you get some quiet time hours and a few hours of sleep, it will pass so hang in there, you will find your niche.

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J.H.

answers from Amarillo on

If you can find baby flannel sheets to lay her on, this may help, as your warm body going to sleep and the cold bed may wake her, also she may not be quite sound enough asleep when you lay her down. If she wakes right then, lean over ,softley sing, and pat her a bit, try a pasifyer, this helps sometimes.

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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

She may have a bit of reflux or she may just want to be held. I had this problem when my son was 7 weeks old. I ended up tilting up the mattress at about a 15-20 degree angle, and spent some effort working on getting him to fall asleep in his crib for his nap time, rather than in my arms. That worked for me! I know some people whose babies had reflux who put their infant seat (which is tilted at a comfortable angle) in their crib.

Good luck!

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J.

answers from Dallas on

B.,

My son used to have meltdowns too between 7-7:30 at night. We started putting him to bed at 6:30 and he slept like a dream. Just at hought you might try.

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P.M.

answers from Dallas on

Both of my girls had a similar issue....they did not 'go to bed' until around 3 mo old! I thought I would go insane. Mine would start crying around 9pm and cry until anywhere between 11 and 1am before they would go to sleep out of sheer exhaustion. I have no advice, I rocked, nursed, watched TV, listened to soothing music mostly to calm my nerves. Then, magically, one night they went to bed at a somewhat normal time!
We did survive, they are now teenagers and normal healthy young adults! It was not gas, nor colic, I took them in at around 4 wks to make sure of that! They just did not seem ready for the day to end! But, oh my, they were ready for the day to start the next morning around 7!!!
Good luck and it sounds like you are an awesome Mom doing a terrific job!!!

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A.M.

answers from Dallas on

I had the same problem with my son..however long story short..he had colic..we did the same thing with the rocking and the routine....if she starts fussing, and she has a full tummy and a clean diaper, then let her cry it out...kids are VERY smart..they have you at their beckonned call..and she knows that if she fusses..mommy and daddy will come and get her. Even if you have to, close her door, and turn off her monitor for a little bit (15-20) minutes, so you can keep your sanity. You need a little breather, and she is safe in her crib, so don't freak out, go outside for a breath of fresh air while daddy keeps a listen and then it's daddys turn for some air while mommy has a listen. Try putting some classical music in her room as well, they have some very soothing baby lullabys. She will eventually get herself into her own routine and know that when mommy and daddy put her in her bed that it is time to sleep. It might take a little while, especially when babies get their day and nights mixed up..but it will get better! Good luck!

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J.H.

answers from Dallas on

a fan in the rm for noise,a 10 dollar one from target pointed away from her,works great,babies love the noise.and sleep with a blanket or lovie and put it in with her.enjoy,they grow up quickly! Mom to a 10,8,5.please let me know if that helps,[email protected]____.com

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K.C.

answers from Dallas on

I had the exact same problem but my daughter would scream from about 730 until about midnight. We tried everything. Bottles, rocking, walking the floors...everything. My pediatrician finally told me when I took her in for a visit, that I was exhausting myself to the point of not being able to take care of her. SO he said to give her her last bottle of the day and then to let her play. Then when she got tired to put her in her crib and let her cry it out. He said that as long as we were visible, she probably wouldnt go to sleep, or wouldnt stay asleep. It was not the easiest thing to do to walk away and listen to her cry through the monitor, but after about 2 weeks she would finally go down without a fight. Hope this helps.

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B.S.

answers from Dallas on

Hi B.,

Try getting a heating pad and warming the crib mattress before you put her down. We've done this with children and grand children and it works well. Right now she goes from a warm parent into a cool or cold crib. This really helps. Make certain the heating pad is turned to the lowest setting and remove it a couple of minutes before you lay her down.

Good luck,
B. S

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S.P.

answers from Dallas on

Try putting her to bed earlier - she sounds over tired. I'd say put her down around 6:00 - 6:30. This seems counter-intuitive because she may wake up early and this may be the case - she is still very little and needs about 15 - 17 hours of sleep for each 24 hour cycle. At this age, her longest sleep may not be any longer than about 4 - 5 hours. Sleep begets more sleep. I learned lots about sleep patterns from Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. His information is good for everyone, not sure his methods are equally as applicable. His methods were beautiful for our first child, but a flop with our second (who we found out later has food allergies that were probably disturbing her sleep .. .) Good luck.

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J.K.

answers from Dallas on

My son was the same at that age. It would take him about an hour to get to sleep after being fed, and then would almost immediately awaken when put in bed.

We followed the advice in Happiest Baby on the Block and were VERY pleased. I'd swaddle him VERY tightly, lay him on my arm with his belly down and head between my thumb and fingers and then jiggle him slightly. This got him to sleep in about 30 seconds. Then he'd transfer to bed more easily since his belly was still full from having just eaten, and he'd sleep for a few hours until the next feeding.

My daughter, on the other hand did not like to be swaddled, but was a better sleeper overall.

Every baby is different, but try some of the ideas you've received, and know that it DOES get easier. Good luck!

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D.S.

answers from Dallas on

There won't be any routine for awhile.... sorry. Just go with the flow and relax. The more relaxed you are, the more she will sense that and relax. I bet you start to tense up around what you want to be her bedtime, just knowing that it probably won't work... You are adding more stress on yourself. Also, if she seems to be fussy at certain times every night, she may have a touch of colic (however you spell that). My first daughter had that and I literally had to hold her over my shoulder and walk around for an hour. That seemed to aleviate her discomfort. They do outgrow it, thank goodness. At 8 weeks old, they are still so new to the world, and trying to force a routine and a bedtime will only cause you more stress. It does get better, I promise! And the CD thing, it does work! My son is 3 and we still love to listen to our soft lullaby CD.

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F.F.

answers from Dallas on

We went through the very same thing with our 2nd boy. He was relentless. He would cry for over an hour sometimes and all my husband and I could do was hold him and walk with him - he usually still cried though. I finally decided to control his sleeping a little more. I woke him up at 6:00 every morning (regardless of what time or how long he was sleeping) kept him up for 2 hours then put him back down - so he kept a 2 hours up 2 hours down (or however long she'll sleep) but once she is up try to keep her up for 2 hours. This worked perfectly for my son. He started sleeping through the night and had no more after dinner tantrums (it was horrible!) It turned out the reason he was crying so much is because he was so tired. He is now 15 months old and has 2 great naps a day and is still sleeping through the night. Good Luck.

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N.O.

answers from Dallas on

B.,

My advice would be to start a bedtime routine. Bathe your baby then give her, her bedtime bottle. Make sure you burp very well. A lot of times they will wake crying because they are gassy. After bathing, feeding and burping lie your baby in bed while she is awake and allow her to soothe herself to sleep. Often times babies will depend on you to get them back to sleep, but you have to train them early to soothe themselves. I hope this advice helps. I used this on my little girl who is now 13 months.

N.

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S.M.

answers from Abilene on

Ahhhh the good ol days when they couldn't really do anything but look cute... cherish these days, they'll be over before you know it!!!
as for the sleeping, and fussiness. if you don't plan on putting her to sleep at 7-730 when she starts going crazy, run her a warm bath with some chamomile and lavender (very soothing), put on a soft nersery rhyme cd and just let her relax. If this works, when it's time to feed and rock her to sleep, she'll be more than ready for it.
As for the waking up when she gets into her crib... When she nods off in your arms, just hold her for a while, make sure she's good and asleep before trying to move her. After you leave the room (or if you're still there) and she wakes up. Give her a few minutes to figure out what she wants to do. Crying never hurt anyone, it's important to not run to her everytime she makes a sound and/or wakes up (otherwise you'll never get any sleep). Babys learn to be manipulative very early... :0)
I hope my advice works, i have two rambunctious girls of my own (7 and 2) so i know what it's like to run on fumes...

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H.L.

answers from Dallas on

Have you tried swaddling? "Happiest Baby on the Block" by Harvey Karp (book or DVD) shows you how. I swaddled my youngest until he was almost 5 months old....he slept really well.

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A.R.

answers from Dallas on

When my boys were that little I started adding a teaspoon of cereal to thier bedtime bottle. It made them feel fuller long enough to get to sleep. Babies at that age are adjusting from having to eat almost constantly. Good luck

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G.S.

answers from Dallas on

Do you Breastfeed? Put her in bed with you.....and then slip away quietly. Put her down BEFORE the meltdown. Bath, bed, book, breast ( or bottle ) and have it all done by 7:00pm. Mine had a bedtime of 7:30 around 10-12 weeks. Two naps a day and early bedtime.. Those late bedtimes are killer. My son is 3 and if he hasn't had a nap, we have him ready for bed by 7:00-7:30. Hope it works.

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A.A.

answers from Dallas on

I had two that slept best in their carseat (one up to six months!) and one in the swing. Sometimes they like being a little more "snug" while they sleep. I think it probably feels more like the womb they became so accustomed to while we were carting them around forever! :o) It's also great if your baby has any congestion, because it keeps them slightly propped up while they sleep. It worked for me. Best of luck!

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J.W.

answers from Dallas on

Trying wrapping her in a swaddling blanket. They have velcro to keep the baby tight inside, just like when she was in the womb. Buy them at Babies R Us (store or online). She will feel more secure. Also read Happiest Baby on the Block. It will discuss recreating the womb for babies during their first 3 months (he calls it the 4th trimester). Swaddling is part of his program (along with swinging, side-lying, shooshing, and sucking).

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J.R.

answers from San Francisco on

Assuming she doesn't have medical issues and isn't crying all day like mine did, I would set your expectations... babies aren't capable of self soothing until more like 3 months to 4 months. Many kids have a later bedtime of around 10:00 during that age... we gradually moved bedtime up. We didn't get to 7:30 until around 5 or 6 months. Have patience, they change almost weekly at that age. Whatever she is doing now will be different in a couple of weeks! I would say just get through it, and it will get easier... every month it will get easier!

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C.M.

answers from Dallas on

I have a nine week old, and she sleeps very well. I try to keep her active during the day with a few short naps and one long nap around three. Then we play with her at night until her bedtime around midnight. I feed her and put her straight into bed. Sometimes she grunts or makes some noises, but we never pick her up unless she cries. Although, I can't really remember a time that she has cried. She then sleeps for 6-8 hours and then eats and goes back to sleep for another four hours. Let me know if you want to know more!

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A.I.

answers from Dallas on

You may try working a warm bath into her nightly routine. This used to work for my girls. The main thing to remember is your little girl is perfectly normal and she will adjust.

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C.D.

answers from Dallas on

Hi, B.! Sorry you are having such a rough time. I have three children, an 8 yr old, a 20 month old and a 5 week old. I breastfed all of them, also. One thing I can tell you for certain is they all were different to get to sleep. My oldest was the easiest, all we did was lay her down in a dark, quiet room, and she fell asleep on her own. The 20 month old was more difficult, she would only sleep in a swing until she was 9 months old, and the youngest is similar to your baby. He will be fine for 10 or 15 minutes, then he starts crying again. We have found that this is usually due to gas or needing to be burped. Also, I think it is really important not to nurse them to sleep, they really need to be able to comfort themselves alittle. As far as your baby crying around 7pm, I think that is pretty normal. Sometimes I think they need to cope with all the stimulus of the day, and crying is their way of doing it. You could try a warm bath at the end of the day to help baby relax also.
I hope this helps, hang in there, it really does get easier as they get older.

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T.C.

answers from Dallas on

Yep... She sounds normal! We did the rocking, walking, car ride...routine with our firstborn to get her to sleep. It wasn't until years later (and three babies later!) we read Gary Ezzo's "On Becoming Babywise" and learned how to teach a baby to fall asleep, and sleep through the night! There's too much wonderful information to share here, but I encourage you to read that book. Wish I'd had it from the beginning - it sure made life easier!

One piece of info that will help your situation: You say she is unpredictable. She needs to be on a schedule - eat, wake, sleep. (Not eat, sleep, wake.) It's healthier, and her tummy will feel better. She will be more ready for bedtime, when her day has the rhythm of routine.

Also, know that most babies need a little fussy wind-down time before they settle for the night. My 4 mo' old has been sleeping through the night for three mo's, but he still fusses for a few minutes before settling down.

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J.M.

answers from Dallas on

Hello B., congrats on your first baby! I have a 5 year old and an 11 week old. What you are describing is how my first baby was too. This time around I did somethings different. I am still swaddling her at 11 weeks and will continue to do so for a few more weeks. I use the MIRACLE BLANKET (find it on Ebay or at miracle blanket website) which is very easy to use and she doesn't get out of it at night like the other swaddling blankets. I think swaddling keeps her from startling herself awake. White Noise has been key for me. One night she was fussing and not going to bed so we turned the blow dryer on high while we rocked her and she was out within minutes. Now I have a CD of sounds; white noise, blow dryer and womb sounds. Sometimes I play the womb sounds while she is nursing, it calms her and helps her to fall asleep. I play the white noise near her bassinet all night long. If she wakes after I lay her down I turn the blow dryer sound on and the vibrating in her bassinet and she goes back to sleep within 5 minutes without her even seeing me or picking her up. She sleeps from 10pm until 7 or 8am and has been doing so since 7 weeks! The other thing that helped was the video and/or book called The Happiest Baby on the Block, you can probably get a copy at the library or Half Price Books. Great techniques for calming a fussy baby! Hope this helps, these techniques really made the difference this time around! : )

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S.H.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter did this also. She was no trouble until about 6 to 8 weeks and we started haveing meltdowns every night when we tried to put her to bed. She would just not sleep in her crib. She was only happy if we were holding her or if she was in her swing. So we reclined the swing as far as it would go, moved it to our bedroom and she would sleep in there. I would give her her last feeding at about midnight, and she would sleep until about 5 or 6 in the morning, most of the time. Sometimes she would still wake up at about 3, but not usually. When she was 4 months we moved her to her baby bed in her own room and she did fine. The first night she woke up a couple of times, but I just went to her room, patted her tummy or changed her diaper, but we never left her room, and she would go back to sleep. Something about the swing would help her sleep, I don't know if it was the movement, although I would turn it off after she was asleep, or if made her feel swaddled more than her crib, but it worked and I was able to get some sleep.

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R.G.

answers from Dallas on

Hello, I am a mother of 3. Ages 6,8,and 10. I gave my children tea. Chamille, or rose tea. I know it sounds wierd, but when they got real fussy like that, it would be closer to when it was time to go to sleep, I made some tea, gave the baby about 2 ounces and I drank the rest. It worked for us. A older lady had told me about it, at first I did not want to try it, but glad I did. I still make them the same tea to this day for them, when we all need to relax.

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K.J.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter was (and still is) a bad sleeper. I know it seems counterintuitive but try putting her down BEFORE the 7pm meltdown. Often babies are actually over tired by the time they begin to fuss etc. Their little brains are so stimulated by all they are learning during the day that they simply can't shut off just because their bodies are tired. A solid bedtime routine is essential (my daughter LOVEd a relaxing bath and massage) I lowered all the lights in the house, turned off the tv and spoke in a quiet voice for about an hour before the bedtime routine began then bath, massage, bottle and bed. it certainly isn't fool proof but it helped! good luck!

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R.D.

answers from Dallas on

You don't say how much or how long she is sleeping through the day. I realize they sleep alot but some don't seem to require as much as others. Try keeping her awake more through the day. I am the mother of two boys...one 23 and the other 16. I really didn't have that problem with them but a little boy I babysat would stay up all night and sleep all day. His mother was getting little or no rest at all. I started letting him have his best nap in the morning and then only let me sleep for about an hour in the afternoon between 1-2 p.m. If he didn't go to sleep during that time, he didn't get his afternoon nap. He started going to bed at night a little earlier and slept through the night.

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L.C.

answers from Dallas on

I strongly recommend a sleep book called Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Mark Weissbluth. http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Hap...

You'll get alot of sleep help book suggestions, but I say start with this book and you may not have to go looking for another book! We used it with my first daughter with great success. If memory serves correct. The trick is to establish a napping schedule during the day appropriate for her age and it will allow for a happier child at night to be able to mellow out enough to fall asleep at night. The mantra to remember is Sleep begets Sleep. A more rested child will fall asleep and stay asleep better!

HTH!!!

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K.M.

answers from Dallas on

I have 4 kids ages 8-17. This worked with all mine. Set a regular bedtime. Change the baby, feed and burp. Put the baby in the crib at the same time each night. Go out of the room. The baby will cry forever the first night(mine did aroud 30 minutes like they were dying) do not go back in. the next night follow the same routine. The baby should cry a little less each night until they don't cry at all. (If you do not go back in an pick them up at all) It took 4-5 nights with each of my kids and I never spent a sleepless night after 8 weeks with any of my kids. The doctor who told me to do this with my first child and it worked so well I did it with all of them. They need to learn to sooth themselves. I am not saying the first nights it will be easy to not pick your baby up. It will be very hard but if you do you will set a pattern and you will rocking and getting up with that child until they are in elementary school.

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J.M.

answers from Dallas on

Hi B.,

I am a mother to 5 children. My oldest is now 7 and my youngest is now 2. My husband and I have facilitated parent education classes through our church for several years.

The same authors of our curriculum put out a book many years ago called "Baby Wise". This is the closest "infant" book to our material that is out there. I would suggest picking it up and giving it a read.

On a note to comfort, the infant child is capable of soothing him/herself if given a chance. It is actually something they need to learn in life......being able to soothe themselves without depending on an outside stimulus to do so. This will require crying which can be very difficult for a first time mom (and any mom for that matter). When the child does not receive comfort from the outside, it will begin to find ways to soothe from the inside (i.e. sucking thumb, talking to self, staring at objects in room). I have also found it important to put the child down awake.....they can be groggy, but awake. This facilitates self-soothing.

If the child is not hungry, has a dry diaper and is not sick, then you can be at ease knowing they are crying because they are not getting what they want (rocked to sleep, etc.) I found that this process of "crying it out" has only lasted between a day and a week at the most before the child has figured it out. Then it is happy baby and happy mommy!!

I hope it helps.

J.

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

She might have colic, have her doctor check that out. It took a friend of mine 5 months before they switched to soy milk and everyone slept from that point on. If that's not it, you might want to try white noise, a fan, womb teddy bear, etc, try swaddling her. If she is not snug and swaddled when you put her down in her crib for bed, then yes that is "normal", they need to feel that snugness of being in the womb the first 2-3 months. good luck and dont get to discouraged it WILL pass.

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S.A.

answers from Dallas on

You don't say anything about naps during the day. Maybe she is getting to much sleep then?
Could be she has colic. Check w/ your Dr but we always gave ours the Mylecon gas drops. We also found that putting them in their car seat or bouncer & putting it on top of the washer or dryer seemed to sooth them, sometimes to sleep sometimes not, just may be calmer.
Our grand daughter's doctor told them to put a little bit of rice cereal in the bottle. Helped her to sleep all night long.
One of our babies couldn't stand the cold sheets, also had just a touch of colic. So we put a heating pad in the bed on low about 15 minutes before he was laid down. I t made it just barely warm but it was enough to make him comfortable enough to go & stay asleep.
Could the sheet have a rough spot on it? Or is there a draft? What about some white noise? My nephew needed to have either a TV on low or a small fan running in the back ground or he couldn't stay asleep.
I hope some of this helped!

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K.M.

answers from Dallas on

I know you have had alot of responses to your question.... but I had to give you one more... did your baby just get shots??? My youngest does the same thing every time she gets shots that your baby does. It passes with in 2 weeks of getting the shots I just have to remember she is a baby and things change so much the first year. Hang in!! the great thing about having children is next month it will be something different.

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V.H.

answers from Dallas on

Have you read about sleep problems on babycenter.com? It is has lots of suggestions for every age. My daughter used the Ferber method with her daughter and it worked well.

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J.J.

answers from Dallas on

Our six month old had similar issues with bedtime and the late evening meltdown when he was a newborn. I ended up letting him stay up as late as he could handle (sometimes midnight) and tried working his bedtime back 15 minutes every few days. Eventually he began to fall asleep at a reasonable hour and goes to bed about the same time every night with no problem, even if he is still awake when I put him down. Good luck!

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E.J.

answers from Dallas on

Buy this book: "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr Eric Weissbluth ($16). Children's sleep habits were a mystery to me until I read this book. We've referred to it many times with both kids (now 2 & 4), and I'm telling you it's worth its weight in gold. I give copies out regularly because I've seen what a difference it's made for us. I'm so glad you reached out for help. It's not easy being a first-time mom with a baby who won't sleep, but we've all been through it and are cheering you on! All the best with your bundle of joy.

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D.G.

answers from Dallas on

Sounds like you have gotten lots of good advice, but I wanted to suggest playing a lullaby cd in the baby's room. My daughter started doing that when her now 3 yr old son was a baby and he still listens to it. We take that portable CD everywhere we go! I don't know the name of it but any soft, instrumental CD should do! Good luck! OH also, there is a book called Baby Wise...might pull some info from that, too!

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S.M.

answers from Dallas on

I am so in your boat! My son is about 7 weeks and I'm trying to start a bedtime routine with him as well. This is my 3rd child, but it's been 6 years since the last one! Anyway, my first thought is that it's still a little early to expect the baby to fall into a typical routine at 8 weeks. I absolutely remember with my 1st two kids that it was about 12 weeks before they settled into a predictable routine. One thing I realized recently with my son (the baby) was that he was melting down at dinner (anywhere between 6 & 8pm) every night. I thought he was spoiled :) and just wanted to be held. However, I went to my mom's last weekend and he was a different child. He slept better and didn't melt down at dinner. I realized it was because he was getting better sleep during the day. My mom would take the 2 older kids off in the afternoon and the baby and & would take a nap! It seems he was just overly tired! When we are home I have to ge the big kids from school, etc. Sorry to ramble, but maybe she's just overly tired. That time of day is hard on them for a loooonnnnngggg time. I remember my pedi. saying it used to be called the whisky hour b/c in the olden days so many moms wanted to give their kids a shot of whisky at that time :). Anyway, observe what happens during the day and see if she gets good naps (I know my older two constantly kissed on their baby brother so I'm sure his naps weren't restful!) Other than that, just keep being consistant and eventually she'll figure out that bedtime is bedtime. I'm a fan of crying it out, but not at this age - at about 3 months if she's still not getting it, I'd try letting her cry in bed a bit.

good luck!

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S.T.

answers from Dallas on

Our daughter was like that also (she is now 3). We never could find a solution so we just accepted that it was just who she is (she never wants to miss anything while she is sleeping). To this day, it still takes her a while to fall asleep. That probably isn't what you wanted to hear, but i wanted you to know that you are not alone. It probably isn't the norm, but there are kids out here like that. On the upside. she has always been very aware and picks up on everything very quickly. Hope that helps.

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D.P.

answers from Dallas on

B., it is completely normal. My first child did the exact same thing. I remember many nights where I would rock her, feed her and do my best to lay her down without her waking. Most of the time she would wake as I was putting her in her crib. Sometimes I would just stand there with my arms under her so she would fall into a deeper sleep, only to have her wake as I was leaving the room. Because she was my first child I also was not sure if this was normal behavior. Although she was never a good sleeper as an infant, it became easier to put her down at around 4 months. I know you're exhausted, but hang in there!

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K.W.

answers from Dallas on

B., my 3mo old did this too. We took him to the doctor and found out he has reflux. The test took about an hour but was well worth it. He is on medicine 4x a day, his crib is now slightly tilted and we make sure we feed him in an upright position. He is now a very happy little guy, and everyone is getting more sleep. He is sleeping better in the daytime too. Does you daughter spit-up after most of her feedings? Does she cry and arch her back after you have fed her?
Some babies are just harder to get into a rouitne. What does your daughters daytime routine look like? I usually for the first few weeks write down my babies day so I know what is happening, and then begin shaping a routine that will work for the whole family. Little ones should spend most of their time sleeping. Usually a couple of naps during the day, with an early bed time,(I usualy do another feeding before I go to bed). With my children (5 in all) I put them in the crib while they were awake, so they could learn to fall asleep on their own. It has alsways been a blessing to have kids who can fall asleep easily.
Best of luck, I promise it gets easier. K

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J.T.

answers from Amarillo on

at 8 weeeks she is still pretty unpredictable in her sleep routines however you can try to get her on one. i believe its too early to really expect her to have a "night time" bed routine, probably going to be the same night or day for a lil while longer. what i did and i got this advice from a friend who was a nurse was.. say she eats every 3 hours. she sleeps for 2-2 1/2 hrs., then you get her up (when she wakes up) and change her diaper, feed her, giver the the rest of the hour to play and then put her down to sleep again, this will help her get on a routine. as hard as it may be sometimes you may just have to let her cry herself to sleep. try that and see if it helps. good luck! it worked for me, and it also helps to get them to sleeping through the night, dont ask me how i just know it does. lol.

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K.T.

answers from Dallas on

Try putting her to bed earlier. She may be having a meltdown because she is so tired. With my babies we put them to bed at 5:30 or 6:00 (with a full belly) and they would then sleep until the 9:00 or 10:00 feeding (they were both a little different). The times I saw them have a meltdown (my daughter did more ofen) it was because they had stayed up too late. After we got over the every three hour feedings, eventually, both kids would go to bed at 6:00, feed at 10:00 and then sleep til 6:00am with another feeding and then back to bed until 9:00. I know that sounds like A LOT of sleeping, but they need a ton of sleep at that age. Both kids also took a 2 hour nap in the day (my son - more like 3 hours). They just need a lot of sleep. Hope that helps.... Infants are a joy, but they can also be very wearing - be sure and give yourself lots of grace during this time (and lots of rest as well).

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D.S.

answers from Dallas on

It's been a while (my baby is 21 years old now), but I remember having this problem. Try putting a warm hot water bottle next to her when you put her in her crib. It may help to comfort her. It helped me tremendously -- she just wants to feel her momma's warm body next to hers.

Good luck, Sweetie!

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E.B.

answers from Boise on

What you are experiencing is SO normal!

My recommendation - Happiest Baby on the Block.

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J.F.

answers from Dallas on

The meltdowns are normal at that age. we had it with our first. It seemed to be the same time everynight with blood curdling crying (for both of us!). It lasted about 6 weeks. I think it was stimulation from the day and a natural winddown/stress release by the crying. Some think it's colic but ours wasn't. The good news is, it will pass. Some put thier babies in car seat on the running dryer (they like the sound, but don't leave them unattended) and some drive around with them in car seats. my husband paced the house holding her on his shoulder while I cried in bed! Somewhere around 3 months, it just stopped. I like the ideas of schedule and warm bed. Don't expect much from such a little one as far as sleep goes though, crying is their only way to let down.

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P.F.

answers from Dallas on

I went through this with my 2 daughters and now with my grand daughter......each child is a bit different and you have to figure out what works best for each......for my baby grand daughter who is now 4 1/2 months old, I bought her a little device, the name escapes me right now but it's an incline foam mat with a small cylinder on each side which is intended to keep the baby on their back and slightly confined (newborns don't like the huge space feeling) - it has a little mechanism that uses a battery that simulates a heartbeat feel and sound for them.....it's amazing! We just removed it last night in fact because she's really outgrown it in size now. I believe I picked it up at JCPenney's baby department, I'm sure it wasn't very expensive and well worth it. We did the same thing, rocking, holding until she went to sleep but until we used the mat it was not good after the mat we would do the same thing, rocking or whatever but then lay her on the mat - between the heartbeat and the rolls on each side she either stayed asleep or if she woke up it was momentary because I think the whole thing was comforting to her. I wish you good luck - and don't worry you'll find the right solution for your baby!

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T.M.

answers from Dallas on

B., first of all, congrats on your new baby!! I can feel your pain. Both of my sons were not sleepers. My oldest is now 15 months old and has been sleeping through the night for only 3 months!!

When mine were very young, we had the same problem, we'd get them to sleep, but as soon as they hit the mattress, they were awake again.

The first thing we realized is that is was nice and warm while we were rocking them close to us. Then, we put them down, it was cold on the matress which woke them up. I started to swaddle them at that point which really helped. Also, when I laid them in their cribs, I would keep my hand on them for a few minutes, pulling it away slowly so they would still think they were being held.

I'm not sure if you swaddle or not, but, I would give it a try, it will keep them warmer and also keeps their arms from flailing when they hit the bed - which was another problem of ours - as soon as I would put them down, their arms would open up and wake them us.

Good luck - and remember, this too shall pass!! In about a year or so, you'll wish she would let you rock her for 20 minutes - ha!!

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J.A.

answers from Dallas on

Our oldest son was not a good sleeper. Our Dr. recommended that we put a heating blanket on LOW, cover it with the blanket on the mattress to get it warm. He said when you are rocking or holding your baby putting them to sleep that when you put them down you are putting them basically on a hard cold surface which wakes them. VERY IMPORTANT - REMOVE the heating pad out of the bed before laying the baby down.
It worked wonders.
j

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A.J.

answers from Dallas on

Could be the beginnings of Colic.

Try mylecon gas drops (I use the target brand they work the same and are MUCH cheaper)

Also, Try a hot water bottle on her stomach or a "HOT SOCK" take a tube sock fill it with dry white rice and tie the end. microwave it for 30 seconds and wrap it in a blanket and place it between your chest and the baby's tummy. this really helps. also use your hot water bottle to heat up your baby's sleeping area before you lay her down. Try the aquarium table top swing.

My son had to be swaddled for 9 MONTHS!!! we bought the swaddler that velcros and wrapped him in it at night and put him in the table top swing and pastened the belt around the body instead of the legs and he slept that way for 9 months because he cried so much...

Just keep trying stuff. If you use a bottle to feed her use the Dr browns... sometimes babies just have crying spells... Keep your cool and rmemeber it wont last forever its just a stage.

A.

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C.S.

answers from Wichita Falls on

I would try several things.
* Make sure she is warm (babies have thinner skin and less fat so she may be getting cold). Try a warmer PJ outfit for a couple nights.
* When she fusses at 7-7:30, begin bathing her, rub down with lotion, feeding and bed AWAKE and tired but RELAXED.
* When she cries, leave her in her bed and give her Mylicon gas drops and see if she quietens down in a few minutes.

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