8 Month Old Will Not Eat Unless He Feeds Himself

Updated on December 06, 2009
L.W. asks from Yonkers, NY
14 answers

Hi moms! My 8 month old son has a wicked independent streak. He has been a very good eater of solid foods up until now. He is still on formula, so most of his nutrition is from that, so that is not a huge concern for me. He only wants to feed himself, which is fine when I give him puffs or yogurt melts, but he is ALWAYS grabbing for his spoon which makes it difficult to feed him. I have given him his own spoon, tried to trick him, played choo-choo, etc... I know this is a very important step that he wants to feed himself, but makes for a very messy and lengthy feeding. Are there any other finger foods that I could give him (besides the ones I already do) that are age appropriate? Has anyone else run into this with their baby?

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So What Happened?

Thank you for all the responses! I will continue to try and spoon feed him, but I will be giving him more table food. I checked with the doctor and he said I can give the baby everything I eat except for the usual suspects (nuts, eggs, and fish due to allergy concerns). Thank you all again!!

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M.B.

answers from Rochester on

Leah,
Good luck. I try telling DS that there are times when he can eat, and then there are times when Mama needs to keep him clean (like trying to exit the house on time). He undestands mostly.

good luck! Keep up the good work!
M.

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T.Q.

answers from Albany on

Try tiny bits of soft fruit (ie. banana). If it is too slippery for him to pick up, roll it in crushed puffs or cheerios first... it makes it easier to grip and pick up.

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D.D.

answers from New York on

prepare yourself for lengthy, messy feedings. Its wonderful that he wants to feed himself. At 8 months he can eat alot of things! How many teeth does he have? My son is 2 1/2 and it takes almost an hour to get through a meal sometimes. Patience is important! He will be changing so much soon...let him take the reins and ride!

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D.S.

answers from New York on

As long as things are soft and cut small he can have pretty much whatever you are eating. With the exception of hot dogs, eggs, peanut butter and I believe seafood he should be able to have everything. I always gave my kids cut up pancakes, french toast, etc for breakfast. You can give pasta, grilled cheese, diced up chicken soft veggies for lunch and dinner. Just make sure to cut up pieces very small and increase the size as he learns to chew and swallow. My kids were on table food completely before a year. I think it is great that he is so independent.

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S.P.

answers from New York on

I know you got a bunch of responses, but this made me laugh because I went through exactly the same thing - the ironic thing is that around 10 or 11 months (or maybe even later?) she started letting us feed her again. And now she does a combo, but definitely will allow us to feed her if she's hungry or feeling lazy. We're now moving on to use of the fork... that is a whole new adventure.

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C.B.

answers from New York on

I know you've gotten a lot of feedback already but thought I would add a few more suggestions. My 3rd (a boy) also did the same thing at 8-9 months and I was searching high and low for food. I found some awesome baby food pouches at Babies R' Us - one brand is called Ella's organic. There are several others out there. Basically it is baby food in a soft pouch that they can suck on. My son was learning to drink from a straw so he would let me hold the pouch and he would eat the food. He also lived on puffs, cheerios, etc for a long time. Hang in there and enjoy his independence. :)

M.R.

answers from Rochester on

That is great that he is interested in feeding himself! So many babies are spoon-fed much longer than they should be without being encouraged to feed themselves. I would suggest just planning more time for meals so you have clean-up time in mind, strip him down, and let him enjoy feeding himself. Give him a spoon to help him learn. I used to mix cheerios in with yogurt to help "thicken" it up and make it easier for my son to feed himself. Depending on what kinds of finger foods he is used to, you could try dicing up bananas and offering him well-cooked pieces of fruits and veggies. My boys both like the no-salt added canned carrots and such (I did not take the time to make my own). Enjoy this time!

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H.G.

answers from New York on

I feel your pain, and have only this advice for you:

Give in.

Seriously! My son gave up baby food around the same time, because he wanted to feed himself. So I just put everything on his tray, or in a bowl that attached to the tray. Meals took forever, and he got so filthy! But I just decided to go with the flow. And really, it's actually great that your son so independent. (It means you're doing it right, mama!) My son is now 2 years old, and I love how precocious and smart he is!

You can also feed your little guy: baby mum mums (check Whole foods), yogurt and applesauce (hands and/or spoon), pieces of banana, cheerios (if he's ready- my guy was by 8 months!), tiny pieces of cheese...

If it's mushy, and you've done the allergy test, then go for it!

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P.E.

answers from New York on

Hi, Just wanted to say if you let him eat by himself for about 5 or so minutes before you try to add an additional spoonful or forkful of food it might help. I am a grandma now, have had 4 children & currently have 3 grandchildren & they are/have been very independent children. I used to give them pieces of baby carrots (steamed to soften), peas, white meat chicken in small quantities. My daughter actually reached over to my plate when she was about 6.5 months & began trying to feed herself. She was messy but as you said they are not really in need of food at that age, the breastmilk or formula are quite sufficient to meet their nutritional needs. Oh, also, if you give him a zwiback or other baby biscuit to hold too you'll find it keeps him entertained enough to solve some of the problem. Good luck & enjoy you son.....time goes much too quickly.

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N.H.

answers from New York on

Hi Leah,
I can suggest finding a drop cloth for under his high chair.

Every mom goes through this at one time or another.

If you give him more solid stuff, instead of jar food, it will be a little less messy. When you use jar food, add a little bit of cereal/oatmeal/rice cereal to it to thicken it up a little bit. But remember, with the added filler, he probably wont eat as much.

Then there are always other finger foods to give him - diced fruit, banans, oranges, mac and cheese, veggies (I steam then in the microwave). Since now seems like a good time to start on table food, while still continuing with baby foods, these things are good to start with - since you seem to be concerned about nutrition. (you can also add them to the baby foods, or just keep them as "clean" finger foods for him to snack on.)

For the nutrition aspect, you could also get him the pedia-sure drinks if that is a big concern of yours. They are a little pricey, but one or two a week should be enough to make up for those picky stages when he wont want to eat at all. They will be coming!

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R.E.

answers from New York on

so let him, and also give him finger foods as well.

K.B.

answers from Rochester on

Wow! I'm impressed that he already wants to feed himself! My 19 month old daughter still makes a mess out of yogurt so yeah, it'll be messy for a while. I think patience is key. One of the tricks that worked for a while with us was trading spoons. I would put the food on one spoon and then trade her. Yeah, lenghty but it kept the floor a little cleaner. :) Depending on how many teeth he has why not steaming baby carrots? I used to chop up apple bits and steam them in the microwave with a little cinnamon. Oh and hasbrowns! Cook them up in a little vegetable oil and a pinch of garlic powder. My daughter's very independent as well so when she wants to feed herself I let her: it's a learning process for both of us! :) Good luck!

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R.E.

answers from New York on

My middle child was the same way! It was very stressful but you will maneuver through.

First of all, anything that you have previously fed him in pureed form is fine to feed him as long as it is well cooked. You can give him very well cooked vegetables (carrots, peas, sweet potato, broccoli, cauliflower, etc.) or fruits cut up into very small pieces to self feed. My "go to" fruits were bananas and peaches because they are generally soft and do not need cooking. Maybe 4-6 pieces at a time in a bowl that is suction cupped to his tray. Soft cooked pasta - small shells or ditalini work well. You can try small pieces of well cooked hamburger or meatballs (with little seasoning) or steamed chicken but I found that meat was hard for my kids at this age.

Yes, it is messy (I really disliked that part) but he loved it and learned to eat more efficiently rather quickly. Bread products are good too - a piece of italian bread in hand and a spoon in the other made it easier to sneak in a spoonful of applesauce or yogurt. Just be very careful with bread or those biter biscuits because they can gnaw off too big a piece and choke. My rule is never let a self feeding baby be out of my sight!

Have fun with this. By the time he is about 10 months old, he will be very capable of self feeding. His eye hand coordination should be excellent and you may want to introduce self feeding with a spoon.

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L.L.

answers from Buffalo on

Hi Leah, I am having the same issue with my 9 month old-- she is always trying to take the spoon out of my hand and seems to want to try to feed herself. I do all of the same things; play choo-choo, give her another spoon, etc. and just muster through the meal-- the frustration will be short-lived. I also have a 2 yr. old and remember it was not that long of a period of time before she was eating all solids...you just have to be patient, see it as a phase you two are going through, try to give him more and more solids (great suggestions from the other moms!) and do a little bit of the baby food w/ the tricks you've already been doing...

that said, my daughter is really liking the Yo Baby yogurt- she lets me feed her that. She is eating lots of cheerios (even with just 2 teeth)-- and I've done small bits of banana too. My 2 yr. old like Avacado at this stage- this one doesn't love it, but it's worth a try (it's a really healthy fat for them!).

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