7 Yo Girl Seems Extra Whiny. Help!

Updated on August 12, 2012
K.H. asks from Merrimack, NH
6 answers

Hi All. I'm hoping some of you will have some helpful hints for me. My 7 yo daughter is typically well behaved and an overall great kid. However, lately she seems extra whiny and cries at the drop of a hat. I keep thinking she seems extra tired, but I'm really not sure why. She goes to bed fairly early (usually by 7:30) and we have kept that schedule for most of the summer. Today my two girls were playing in the living room and started to fight. My husband said that it was time to clean up. The 7 y.o. immediately started apologizing for fighting in a whiny tone of voice and asking why they needed to clean up. My husband said that they could play again after cleaning up. For some reason she could not get it together. She basically stood in the middle of the room looking devastated. My 4 y.o. started picking things up, as did my hubby and I. However the 7 y.o. just started to cry. Experience tells me that my daughter is going to be devastated for the rest of the night and just want to be cuddled. Any deviation from that and I'm sure she'll start crying again. I know she is a sensitive child (hates to disappoint people and has a strong emotional response to the pain/anger of others). I relate to this b/c she is a lot like me. But I really need some pointers to stop the whining! It drives me crazy and she seems to be miserable.

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answers from Colorado Springs on

Well... school is starting soon (if it hasn't started already)... and the summer is getting l-o-n-g... and there are just times like that.

You don't want her feelings ruling the family, but you need to get her talking instead of whining. Or perhaps she would like to draw pictures - or run - or dance - to communicate how she feels. Does she need to get a checkup from the doctor? (Don't use that as a threat - it's just something for you to think about.)

Set her a good example of expressing your own feelings in good ways. If you get overwhelmed with life, you can say, "I feel down right now, and I'm going to set the timer so I can feel bad for just five minutes. Then I have better things to do." Follow through with that, and your daughter might catch on.

Sensitive people who are aware of others' feelings are very valuable in this world!

5 moms found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

I think Mary might be onto something. Does your daughter have trouble with transitions? My 6 year old does. Summer camp finished yesterday and we have one more week until school starts. We're starting to have trouble with whining crying and defiance. sigh...

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

Are you sure she's feeling ok? If she seems extra tired and extra whiney, there could be a physical cause contributing. My pediatrician says that strep throat, sinus infections and ear infections can cause behavioral changes. A coworker's daughter had such mood swings that she was removerd from her preschool, and they discovered that the kid had sleep apnea caused by her androids. She was so sleep deprived from the sleep apnea that she couldn't keep it together. Once her tonsils were removed and the kid could sleep all night, her behavior issues corrected.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Austin on

It could be a bad habit, could be she is having some mixed motions and stress since school is about to start and summer is coming to an end..

Either way, "we do not understand whining or crying and talking at the same time.. "

"She needs to go to her room and search for her regular voice." or she needs to calm down and think about why she is feeling whiny and talk about it.

Let her know you understand she seems upset, but until she can talk and explain herself without the whine and or tears, you will not be able to help her.

Zero tolerance.

FYI, whey you are tired, frustrated, nervous, need help, feel defeated etc.. Say it out loud in front of your children so they can learn to express these feelings in a proper way.

Same with your husband.. Parents that can model and recognize feelings will have children that learn to do the same.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Kansas City on

Yeah, even as an adult I have trouble transitioning as well! ;) So, the others could be right that if school is starting soon she possibly feels anxious over the change...she may not even consciously know this is what she's doing, but it could be causing her stress.

Also, if after she has a meltdown she gets to cuddle and chill with mom or dad the rest of the night, she doesn't really have much incentive to get it together, ya know?. So maybe you need to figure out a way to let her deal with her emotions, but not give into them. Possibly set a timer as Mary suggested or tell her she can chill in her room and when she's ready to rejoin you (in that case I'd leave at least a few toys out so she has to participate and not just use this technique to get out of helping)...or something so that she has to take responsibility for her own feelings. It also might help her figure out why she's so emotional.

I'm emotional too, so I certainly understand what you're saying, but even now I sometimes have to calm down and really figure out why I'm reacting the way I am, and usually there is something deeper I'm feeling. It's hard to work it out for us emotional loving types, ya know! ;)

1 mom found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

I agree with Anita. I actually posted on the site about my son who started having tics and folks referred me to look up PANDASnetwork.org. Turned out my son had a bacterial infection Mycoplasma that turns out to be a cousin of the Strep. Emotional stability is one of the symptoms.....some folks do not show any symptoms.... My son did back in March but his peditrician did nothing about it and we treated it as allergies..... I took him to a specialist and FINALLY seeing results! Worth looking in to. This site saved my kid!

I think if you're posting about it, there is something else that is going on. Trust your instinct.


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