7 Yearold and Football?

Updated on August 03, 2010
L.L. asks from Granby, CT
12 answers

My question is regarding sports. My son is 7 and has played t-ball, Basketball, and has participated in swimming. He has been approached several times by our local youth football coaches and asked if he wants to play. Now his uncle is going to be an assistant coach this season and his cousin will also be on the team. Normally he is very willing to try something new, but he is a little unsure on football and looking to me for answers. The reason I think that the team wants him to play so bad is because of his size. Although he is one of the youngest in his grade he by far has a much larger statue and is not overweight for his height, he is just a big boy. With that being said he is also not competitive and certainly is by no means aggressive. He is super sweet and has never scored a point in a basketball game because he wants to make sure everyone gets a chance with the ball and gives it up to his teammates as quickly as he gets :) He is a great swimmer, but will slow down to wait for the rest of his class so that they all finish the laps together. I just don't know if he will be into the tackling, and drills, and roughness of football. I would love to see him challenge himself at something new, but am hesitant to encourage him to sign up if he will not enjoy it. Not to mention the $ and the time commitment. Any thoughts from you mamas would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

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So What Happened?

Thanks ladies. I don't know why I even let myself get sucked into this. I think I will just tell him I don't think that now is the time for him to start such a time consuming sport. I will tell my brother to lay off and give it a rest. Thanks for the reality check, it really is ridiculous. I just didn't want to persuade him not to and hold him back from something.

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K.G.

answers from Burlington on

Has he watched a game? I would wait for him to express interest in trying it first. NO rush. Hate to see him get his gentle side squashed at such a young age :) If he was interested, I would let him try, but wouldn't push him.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Football... has been proven to cause brain damage in kids and adults. A child's brain, is not even fully developed yet at this age. The brain is not even fully developed until 26-27 years old.

Here are articles about brain damage and sports....

http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/01/26/athlete.brains/index...

http://www.reuters.com/article/healthNews/idUSHAR36644720...

I would, really reconsider.

Next, just because of his size... people want him to play football. To me, that is not the reason for him to do it. And it has to be "his" decision... not just him trying to please everyone or under the pressure to do so.
He seems to be very caring and that is a great skill. Not all kids are that way.

He should, ultimately, do activities/hobbies which suits his personality and desires. Then he will be happy, truly. Not just going by peer pressure... and he can then find out his real interests.

He's unsure and looking to you for answers, because it is not something he fully wants to do or he does not know how to tell those people "no." But, he feels the pressure to do football...after-all his uncle is a coach and his cousins are on the team. Still, this is not a reason for him to "also" do it. Again, people will more than likely continue to ask him to play football, because of his size. So, as he gets older,, he needs to learn to say no, if this is not something that is his "own" interest.

You also seem to have doubts that he will enjoy it. If someone asked my son to play a sport just because of his size... and it was not my son's choice or interests.. I would not sign him up. (my son is big for his age too.. not weight wise but big and athletic). And I have pondered that same thing.. people just recruiting him for his "size" as he gets older. My son is only 3, but everyone thinks he's 5 and because he's so athletic and coordinated, they already say how he "should" play football when he is older. Again, because of his "size." I do not think this is reason enough. Size is not a reason.

All the best,
Susan

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J.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

If.

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K.M.

answers from Seattle on

What about finding a flag team for him to play on. My son is super skinny, but has been playing football since he was 6. He is twelve now and this was his first year of tackle. He has played flag every year and loves it. He is also not aggressive and I too was worried about injuries so flag was a great way to start. He played through the rec league as well as a short winter season of flag that the local tackle program puts on every year. I recommend the rec or something similar because it is not supposed to be super competitive, is relatively inexpensive and the time commitment is only 2 to 3 days a week. While I think football is great, I also wouldn't push your son if he is not into it. There is still plenty of time. Maybe he could go watch a few practices this year and decide if it is something he would like to try next year. Oh, one more thing about flag is that it does a much better job of teaching the fundamentals (and that opinion comes from several of the coaches my son has had). Whatever he does, I hope he has fun.

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E.P.

answers from Boston on

I would definitely not encourage him if he's hesitant. Football can cause so many injuries--lots of serious head injuries that can go undiscovered for a while. If he were pushing to play, that would be one thing, but he's found other (less dangerous) sports he likes, and if he's not particularly aggressive it's probably not his sport.

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G.B.

answers from Tulsa on

I have heard football can run into over $100.00 a season for uniforms and fees. I think my 3 yr. old grandson we are raising will end up playing, my husband played and I think it would be something he would like to introduce to J. I have never been very interested in football but do enjoy soccer, T-Ball, softball, volleyball, and basketball. I am sure we will let the kids try a season or more of all sorts of sports just to see if they like one more than the other.

If he really doesn't want to play then I would say there is plenty of time later.

D.B.

answers from Boston on

What a wonderful son you have! You have done so much RIGHT to create such a thoughtful and sensitive boy.

He's 7 and he's reluctant. That's your answer. It doesn't matter who's recruiting him, uncle or otherwise. If they want him because of his size and they want to mold him into someone aggressive, forget it.

Also there are SO many injuries in sports, and I think 7 is way too young to be drilling and tackling and body-slamming. Go with your gut, and your son's gut, and keep him doing what he wants to do.

You are going to be pressured by so many parents to overschedule your child, and to push push push. RESIST THIS! Your son is obviously a good friend and one who wants to be part of group, not someone who is highly competitive who wants to win all the time. You should be thrilled by this, and not try to urge him out of it.

There are many ways for a child to challenge himself, and athletics isn't the only way. Challenge him to learn in other areas that interest him - take nature hikes, go to museums, build friendships with other kids just around the neighborhood for pick-up games in any sport, and so on. You will be glad you did.

If, when he's 12 or 14, he has a burning desire to don pads and helmet and start shoving other kids around on the gridiron, great. But he's only 7!

Like I said, trust your instincts and trust his!

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J.H.

answers from Boston on

Hi L.
My son was HUGE for his age--and young like your son. (this is all hindsight BTW as he is now 26 yrs old!! )
When he was 7-he was convinced to try Football.
He was an amazing Baseball player--natural talent!
He would go to every practice all summer long-and SKIP down the field. He frustrated the coaches because he wouldn't hit hard. (he was afraid of hurting someone-due to his size) He also hated getting on the scale when the season started. He was fighting the 100 Lb wt limit at 7 yrs old.
Well-he played one game-did ok-then broke his arm riding his bike and was out for the rest of the season. He never played again until High School (was always too big for midget football)
He learned to play very well-got all kinds of recognition (we also live in Foxboro, MA-home of the Patriots!) Landed a wonderful scholarship to a private college in NY. He was team captain and played varsity at 17 yrs old. He was 6'4" and 320 Lbs at 16 yrs of age.
Let ur son tell you what he wants--things go their own course.
Good luck.
J. H

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I.H.

answers from Cleveland on

You have no idea how happy I was to read your comment! I'm going through the same thing with my 7 year old boy. He is big for his age and every guy that looks at him comments on how he's going to be an amazing football player. He played touch football last year. He's very sensitive and noticed all the other boys were running faster than him. Now he doesn't want to play this year because he thinks he can't run as fast as the other kids. My husband wants him to play. I think I should keep him out a year. I figure he has plenty of time to play ball as he grows up. It not tackle football, it's flag. So he really can't get hurt. The coach is very good at keeping the kids under control. Regardless, I think the boy's in this case should make their own decision. Thanks!!:)

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S.H.

answers from Grand Rapids on

I would just like to add that tackle football at 7 years old is not good for their bodies. My son will be 7 next week and he, too, is a pretty big guy. He's as tall as many 3rd graders, so of course the coaches want him to play too. We started doing schools of choice to a new school district this year and the new school doesn't have tackle football until 3rd grade (which I think is still kinda young). For now, they have flag football. It's cheap and it teaches them the basics without all the body pounding. At this age, the kids are too young to understand how to properly tackle someone anyway. I talked it over with my grandma, who was a k-12 gym teacher for 30 years and she recommends waiting until at least 4th grade, 5th would be better, so their joints can get stronger.

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S.L.

answers from Boston on

I agree with Sandy's advice, and it sounds like you have a great son!. My 7 yo son kept saying I want to play football. We had seen my God son play only once or twice and what ever he had seen for football on tv. My husband likes to watch it but isn't a die hard football guy. So we were surprised he kept saying it, when we said baseball signups are coming up lets do it, he's like no I'm gunna wait for football and try that. So we said ok we'll check it out. Went to the sign up, listened to what they shared, and he was like did you put my name down? I want to do it. He's was only 50 lbs at the end of the summer last year when it was time to start, although we never even talked about his size in regards to playing with him. A couple of times throughout the summer he'd say ya - I've decided I'm not going to do the football, and we were like ok whatever you decide is fine. We didn't have to pay at the sing up's we could wait till practices started, so that was good. Time came for 1st practice and we were like lets go check it out, he was excited. I was really surprised at how the kids were treated - like they were 15. The coach was totally strict, loud and tough. I can't tell you how many times in the first month or so I wanted to jump that fence and deck him for yelling at my baby and my heart bled for the other boys too!, some were even smaller and shyer than mine. I couldn't even look at the coach when he came to the fence - I hated him and would really give my husband an earfull when he arrived to relieve me at practice. My son however, said only once or twice, "coach is mean huh" and that was it - not I want to quit - just acknowledged, he's a tough coach. I was impressed by him for that, so I kept my mouth shut. The fact is, coach has to command everyone to respect him right off the bat, so there is NO lee way. Your expected to show respect for yourself 1st, coach, and your teammates. If you don't know what respect is yet, you'll learn here. My son was shown discipline in a different setting than home and it was good for him. He quickly became more self dicipline, I need to care about my self, to protect my self. He was already very confident, and it grounded him to see other teammates who had played last year, out perform him. We got to see the real coach as the season went on and he is a great guy, actually the father of 7 - yes 7, in my opinion the best coach our league has. PopWarner football is a huge commitment for the child as well as the parent. Practice is 3 nights a week for 2 hours ea and games every Sunday rain, sun or snow. Even at 7 yo. Sandy above is right when she says you need attitude to play, that is well said and right on the money. Now we have found a place for my son to put it to good use. They are taught to defend themself from the opponent. Because the coaches attention is demanded - every child - and there are girls playing on the team too, learns these skills. There were no broken bones, nothing more than bruises on my son's team all season.
Go see for yourself, with your son. Let him decide, and you guide him from there. PopWarner was a whole new world for us, one we knew nothing about. I'd say it was very good for our son in every aspect of the experience. We all can't wait till football season starts again.

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S.S.

answers from Santa Barbara on

My son is little for his age and aggressive and loves, loves, loves playing tackle football. He loves the crunch of the helmets. He tries to get the coaches to let him up on the line to go after the big guys. He runs his offensive plays even though there are kids 50 lbs heavier than him coming straight at him. Tackle football is one sport that takes "attitude." I watched several big kids with gentle spirits try to play, but you could tell they didn't enjoy it and especially didn't like being hit. They feared the tackling drills. Because they weren't aggressive, they spent all but the 12 required plays on the sidelines. I told my son he better love it, because I wasn't driving 1 1/2 hours each way to a game to watch him play 4 minutes. I guess the bottom line is, if he's not interested, let him do the sports that don't require aggression. I like the idea of flag football.

Since he's only 7, if he wants to familiarize himself with the game and what goes on, why don't you see if he can workout with the team and at the games be the waterboy. I know this sounds ridiculous, but I saw those gentle souls run out to the kids on the field with such purpose and they knew what they were doing was really important to the success of the team and the players were really grateful.

I also saw a mom pull her son from the team because she didn't like how the coaches talked to him (and the rest of the team.) While he was one of the gentle souls that I was talking about, he liked the comraderie of the team and the way his teammates helped him be more successful. I ran into his dad returning the uniform and he said his son was sad and really liked his team and was very upset with his mom. I would also go see how the coaches work with the team and see how uncomfortable it makes you. My son used to get in the car all "hopped up" on testosterone (at age 9 & 10) and I had to lay down the rule that attitude stayed on the field and did not get in the car and come home.

Whatever you and he choose, make sure he has fun!
S.

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