6 Year Old with Attitude or Independence?

First of all let me give you a {{{{HUG}}}} to one widow from another. It is hard, but you can do it and will do it for your children.
So DD is starting to feel her independence. Well it will get worse before it gets better. She will improve around age 20 or so. When she picks on her brother, remind her that she is older and supposed to show him how to behave not how to be bad. Then if she continues put her in the corner. She WILL hate it, but tell you she doesnt care.
When she 'thinks' she can do things by herself, let her. She will either do it or fail, either way she will learn and so will you.
Be glad she is polite in public and enjoy her struggle for independence. Its hard for 'mother', but really thats what we should want for all our children. And dont worry, you will be mommy soon enough, when she needs you.

First of all, I have been told that the true measure of how good a mother you are is how your children behave around other people...so, good job, mom!

Secondly, I am so sorry for your loss...I'd be surprised if your children weren't having some difficulty just a year after losing their Dad.

I am a divorced mom with a very strong willed and mouthy little 5 year old boy. People keep telling me that it is age appropriate for him to be testing the limits and exerting himself...and does he ever!

Anyway...I've asked a lot of advice lately (see threads on 5 year discipline and creating a discipline chart-need help) and gotten lots of good suggestions and so recommend that you read what's been said there.

Good luck!

get her off food with hormones.
also, she may be expressing the loss of her father now as well.

Perhaps she is in the angry phase of her grieving and has you as her only outlet. Do you express your sadness tp her (with a limit of course, so as not to overwhelm her)? Or tell her instances when you get angry and how you cope (breathing, time alone, read, shop, puzzle, PAINT your feelings or write them in a journal).
I believe she is reaching out to you with these displays, if she knows you'll always be there for her + forgive her whe she's bad...since she's not misbehaving around others.

Here's another idea--if she does somthing off limits and she knows it, ask her to set her own punishment (thru dolls in a pretend game, or just ask her). What do u think is better as your punishment: time out until you apologoze + hug or no tv for today? Or no particular doll or no dessert....etc.

Try to form a partnership. It sounds like she is testing you with her anger and she doesn't even know how to deal w her own anger. Reassure her the feelibg is normal. Okay to be angry, just find a productive way to express it.

All best of luck!

Hi D.,

I would like to say first of all sorry for your loss. I was a single mother for a short while like you and my son was the same way. He was a perfect angel at school, and for others, etc. However some days he would drive me to tears. It could be an attention getter on her part. I would continue what you are doing as far as consequences and being consistent. You are obviously doing something right if she can behave well in other situations. I think they have to let it all out somewhere so why not at home driving mom crazy LOL!!! Is it possible with summer here she is bored. Have you tried some camp activities, or have some playdates when she does behave to keep her busy. She is probably just testing the waters and she knows how to push your buttons. I think everything you are doing is right on track. I would try to talk to her when things are calm and be clear what your expectations are (not in the heat of the moment she may turn you off) so that when she breaks the rules she knows there are consequences and also what they will be. Good luck! I know how hard it can be to be a single mom.

Wow D., I thought I was reading about my own daughter(s) for a minute! I have twins, females and they are 6 years old and a 8 year old - famale also!. I can totally relate to you. They are very well bahaved outside, but lately at home the attitudes are outrageous. I dont know if its because they are home for the summer and they are just getting tired of eachother or if its a call for individual attention. Last week I decide to seperate them. I put them in a seprate room with thier own thing to do. Then I dedicated about 20 minutes to them alone. And it worked..lol But What Im saying is, sometimes ( with my experience) I realized that alone time is all they need or want. And sometime we ( us mother's) feel so busy with our daily routines especially when we have more than one child, we tend to forget that they do need some quality time. Sometimes my 8 year old says, mom can I go somewhere with you alone and leave my sisters home...lol So hopefully this will work for a while if you havent tried it yet. Good luck ;)