6 Year Old Girl Observes Daddy in Shower

Updated on October 07, 2010
C. asks from McKinney, TX
15 answers

This incident happened this morning. My husband got in the shower before the rest of us were awake. My six year old daughter came to our bedroom, and I heard her go into our bathroom. Somewhere in the twilight of my wakefulness, I realized that I didn’t hear her come back out again. I got up to check, and she was sitting in the floor playing with some toys directly across from the shower. We have a see-through, glass shower enclosure. My husband did have his back turned toward her. My question is, just how much is appropriate for her to observe?

We have only two girls: this six year old, and a three and a half year old. When my six year old sees me nude, she likes to comment and “goose” me on the rump. Questions about differences haven’t come up. My parents divorced when I was six, so I have no memory of seeing my dad nude. Thank you for your comments!

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answers from Oklahoma City on

Not a big deal but i wouldn't let that happen again....6 is too old for even daugther to see mommy or son to see daddy

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answers from Seattle on

Totally appropriate. She woke up, dad was up, she went and played in the same room he was. More responsible on her part than heading off to play in an entirely different portion of the house than any awake adult imho.

Nudity is no big deal in my family. Nudity just doesn't equal sex, and there are no sexual predators in my family. It's just skin. While I realize others in this country are more puritanical, it's just not a big deal to us. My son has seen most of my family naked at one time or another (we do get together at the beach a couple times a year... and everyone sees everyone else naked... either showering or changing). Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins. I wish we had public baths here, like in Japan, so he could see a wider range of body types and ages, and the RESPECT that is shown to the elderly in their failing bodies (aka that not just "sexy" people are deserving of respect), but we don't. There are times when it's not appropriate to be nude (just like one covers one's hair in Islamic countries, or doesn't wear a bikini to court, or NEVER wears shorts in certain parts of Africa -it's like walking around topless here), they're just cultural constructs to learn. Not that there is anything inherantly shameful in other people outside of your family seeing your hair or face, or your thighs, or a bikini.

Personally, I know the only reason we have a door on our bathroom is for guests. We may as well hang up a neon sign on the door that says "welcome, come on in". Mom needs to pee, and it's like a convention. Almost magical. The same way the phone also decides to ring in just that INSTANT. Sigh.

<laughing> And btw... while many people don't remember early that 5... I remember all the way back to age 2 and some scattered stuff from before hand, as do many others. As parents we can't decide when our kids are all of a sudden going to remember things, or what things they do remember.

7 moms found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

My parents always slept naked. So if you went to their room at night, they were naked. I think the real question is how comfortable you are with the human body. Everyone's answer will be slightly different. Whatever you decide please don't send an undiscussed feeling that the human body is to be ashamed of. I think that does more long term damage, than seeing your parents naked. Remember young kids don't think about naked bodies as being about sex. Adults think like that. Even older teens don't think about their parents naked body and sex ( they would tell you it's gross. Remember thinking your parents only had sex the number of times equals the number of children). I had a friend whose teenage son would come in when she was taking a bath. He didn't even flinch. All he was thinking about was getting permission for whatever he wanted. To him having to wait until she was out of the bath would just take too long.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Honolulu on

I see no problem with it.
By now, at her age, she certainly must know that men and women look different.

Me/Hubby walk around in various stages of dress or in the shower etc. Our kids see us. Its no biggie. Of course we don't prance around making a big deal of it either. It is just NORMAL basic activities. They know their body parts. They know adults have hair in certain places. It is not a huge big deal to our kids... because, we don't make it a big deal and since infancy, they have 'seen' us getting dressed or taking showers etc.

all the best,

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Seattle on

I think seeing your parents nude is only as awkward as you make it.

With that being said, my parents were free thinking hippie types (even tho my Dad was a heli-logger for Columbia for years...inside family joke: my dad cut down the trees and my mom chained herself to them) and I saw both my parents nude as a kid (same age as your daughter and a lil' older) and it didn't bother me or my older sister!

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

Well while I agree with the other responses about the shower incident (not a big deal), I really don't agree with the statement that her "goosing" you is inappropriate. My daughter would do that to me but she just outgrew it at about age 7 maybe (she is now 11). To me it was just a part of the body like if she were to grab my elbow or leg. We would giggle and laugh. I don't see anything wrong with it at all.

It's just cute, innocent play with Mommy!

Just my humble opinion =-)

Also, I bought my 4 y/o the book "It's not the Stork". Check it out. It's for ages 4 and up.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Atlanta on

I don't think it's a big deal. I'll still shower with my 5 year old boy in a pinch.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

Just don't make a big deal about it. I accidentally saw my dad, at that age and though it was totally gross. My mom didn't make a big deal about it and just told me not to go in there. (although I can remember the incident I effectively blocked what he looked like out of my mind...yuck!) I didn't go in there again, so I never saw him again. Keep in mind, just because you don't want your child to see you nude...doesn't mean you're teaching them to be ashamed of their body. I don't feel comfortable with my son seeing me nude, because it's weird for ME. It doesn't mean I'm going to teach him that the body is disgusting or shameful. It simply means, I don't like being naked around him!!! There is nothing wrong with modesty, within a family.

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answers from Chicago on

I am pretty modest and also have no recollection of seeing my dad nude but I reportedly walked in on him in the bath when I was 7. I remember the incident but not seeing anything. Think back to what your first thoughts are and then decide whether you and your husband are comfortable with your daughter having memories of that. Our daughter is 3 and son is 22 months. We decided that at 3, it is no longer appropriate for our daughter to see daddy naked. Our earliest clear memories are around age 5 for my husband and I but we decided better safe than sorry. That is our own personal preference but I know other people will have different personal guidelines. We are attempting to teach privacy and believe this is as good time as any since she is now in preschool and we want it to be clear that it is not appropriate to just see other people naked. Your husband and you will have to make your own call. Some people are just a lot more comfortable with the naked factor than we are :)

Best wishes,

A. F.
Local Childcare Coordinator
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answers from San Francisco on

It seems like it really depends on how you feel about nudity. I couldn't care less... I walk around naked on the way to and from the shower, but my husband is much more modest. Our daughter is only 3, so we're in a different situation than you are. But I'd just see how she feels about it. Seems like she wasn't upset by seeing him naked. Like another mommy wrote, being naked doesn't have to be sexual at all. Think of nude sculptures and other artwork, the human body is beautiful. Making sure no one sees anything just makes it an issue.

But obviously it's really a personal thing. If you and your husband don't feel comfortable with your daughter seeing him naked, then you could have your husband lock the bathroom door when he's in there. Or teach your daughter to knock and ask before she comes in.


1 mom found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

i wouldn't make a huge issue of it.... just tell her not to go in the bathroom when someone is in there. she's not gonna be traumatized or anything, it clearly wasn't bothering her. i'd also put an end to her goosing you and grabbing your rear end, that's inappropriate in my opinion. sounds like a no harm, no foul situation this morning - just remind her that you all need your privacy in the bathroom :)



answers from San Francisco on

It all depends on how you act and react to it...your daughter was playing with her toys so she probably barely noticed your husband other than that was her dad in the shower...but people take to this situation differently and here are a few related questions with different responses from a site called the skinny scoop:




answers from San Francisco on

I saw my dad nude when I was a teen. He'd sit in the tub for hours smoking and dropping ashes into the water, and if I had to ask him something I'd go in, and he didn't bother to hide. I thought nothing of it. She will be fine.



answers from Dallas on

The more you make it a problem the more of a problem it will be. Humans are naturally curious. Wouldn't you rather she view your husband and keep her distance than in a few years be curious enough to ask a boy to touch his? We've walked around nude in the bathroom and at appropriate times, and our teenage children don't have any desire to poke around in their friends pants. We never made nudity a big deal, so if you don't make it a big deal neither will they.


answers from Dallas on

I (personally) think that 6 is too old to see daddy naked. Our rule is "is she old enough to remember this later?" If so, it was a no. I never saw my dad naked (thank God!).

Next question: Possible over Reacting?