6 Month Sleep Question

Consistancy is key. I had excellent luck with 'Healthy Sleep Habits' and HIGHLY recommend it to all my new mama friends. But you must choose a method and stick with it for a while. If you choose to let him fuss/cry, pick time periods, (5, 10, 15, 20 minutes) and only go to him after that time has passed, EVERY time. It didn't take long (2 days) for each of my girls (ages 2.5 and 6 mos.), to catch on and stop crying at nap time. Try not to pick him up, just soothe him by rubbing his back, etc. The great thing about that particular book is that you can read a little ahead and know what to anticipate-you're off to a good start by paying attention and catching him before he's overly tired. I swear, they will do it by themselves if you learn to let them (training, I mean). Also try not to be overwhelmed by so much information; it gets easier. Good luck and you're not alone!

That is so frustrating! My DD was like that. Get a copy of Elizabeth Pantley's "No Cry Sleep Solution." She gives strategies of how you can get the baby to fall and stay asleep. I personally did not do CIO. I wanted my baby to know that if she tried to communicate with me I would respond. At that age crying is the only way to communicate if you aren't right there.

I also think every baby is so different and some need a lot of night time parenting for longer than others. I don't think it has to be a choice of CIO or no sleep forever. There are other strategies. I also did not want my baby to associate bedtime with stress. When babies are left to cry alone there is a lot of stress (not to mention the effect of stress hormones on their developing brains). So see if your library has the Pantley book. It may help. No matter what you do, it won't be a quick solution. It takes time to create new habits and babies need to be developmentally ready too. You will sleep again!! :)

The only "sleep method" he knows is to be cuddled and rocked, so this is going to take a while for him to learn something new and "be happy" about it!

As long as you continue to go and get him, he will continue to wake-up screaming b/c it works! He wants mommy to cuddle him and has learned very quickly that screaming is the way to get you into his room! I would suggest doing the Ferber Cry It Out Method. Check the book out of the library and do it the "right way". It's not about leaving the baby in the crib to scream, it's about providing "remote" comfort while showing your child how to calm himself down.

There are many people who don't like the method b/c it seems cruel to them, but in all reality disrupted sleep is cruel to a child's development too! If it is done correctly, CIO will take a few (very very long) days, but it will work. You have to be consistent in your method, but it will get better!

I learned so much about infant sleep and how to help my first learn to sleep by reading The No-Cry Sleep Solution, The Baby Whisperer and Dr. Sears Baby Sleep book. They all had invaluable tips, tricks and info. The better you understand infant sleep the better you will be able to teach your little one to sleep. For us, i used info from all 3 books to develop a sleep plan that got my first napping then the night time fell into place. It was a miracle but all babies are different. My second was never the sleeper that her brother was but that was ok. She did ok.

CIO doesn't go down in my house and there really is no need for it when there are kind and gentle ways to teach baby to sleep, to teach baby what to expect and what is expected. The last thing I want before my little goes to sleep is them howling in their bed while I stand on the other side of the door counting minutes and fighting every motherly instinct I have to go in and comfort them. Not the kind of night I want for me and especially not what I want for them.

HI-Here is some great information that really helped me.
http://www.happyhealthymom.com/newsletters/How-to-Get-You...
Good Luck.

Speaking from experience :) My 14 month was/is the worlds worst sleeper. Granted he suffered from reflux when he was little, but aside from that he would not sleep longer than 30 minutes for a time. I though CIO was cruel, so I would try to comfort him every time he began to cry, walking him, nursing him, patting his back...I was a zombie and I teach 1st grade, so my patience was wearing thin. I finally at 10 months old chose to let him cry for 10 minutes, then went in patted his back told him he was a big boy and I loved him and then left. It will BREAK YOUR HEART for the first couple of times, but happy mama = happy baby. I know you are exhausted and probably feel defeated. But try it, maybe for a few nights. Stretch out the times, start at 5,10,15 increments. I promise he will get the clues and he wants to sleep! He just does not know how. I also got a small light so if he did wake up he could see he was in his safe room. It will take a couple of nights, but it will pass and he will never remember how tough it was!

Hi--
I totally understand--both my boys are terrible sleepers unless they know Mommy is nearby. I agree with the person below--The Baby Whisperer and Dr. Sear's offer good solutions. A word to the wise--there is a lot of evidence that the CIO method creates a distrust between parent and child that later develops into emotional problems as the child grows. A baby doesn't understand why the person who is his safety suddenly disappears and gets very distraught. This causes the adrenal glands to release adrenaline, making it harder for the child to sleep. Because the brain is being "wired" until about age 4, this trains the child's brain to become more anxious. Eventually a baby will go to sleep not because they have learned to self-soothe (which is a higher brain process that takes logic) but because they become conditioned to knowing that their needs will not be answered. Not exactly a way to create a child who trusts his environment. (Can you tell my degree is in developmental psychology). So the other methods that do not involve CIO are much kinder and will keep that all important trust between you and your child.

Also, my children did not sleep well because they both had various digestive problems that caused discomfort. They say that a Mommy holding her baby is as effective a pain-medicine as giving the child two aspirin. That is why my children wanted me close. They both have food allergies. Allergies for sure cause sleep disturbance not just because of pain, but because the histamine and cortisol released during an allergic reaction is incompatible with sleep. Signs to watch for are constipation (defined as not going at least once a day), dark or puffy circles under the eyes, rashes of any kind, tantrums, clingyness, a need to suck all the time, being over-weight (because of that need to suck all the time), wheezing, coughing, post-nasal drip, frequent ear infections, and swollen tonsils without a clear sickness. If your child has any of these symptoms I can for sure help you in deciding the next steps to help, so please don't hesitate to ask.
Good luck!
J.

When my first was this age, I was having the same problem & my sister gave me a book that saved my life. I was concerned at first because I had heard bad things about it - but once I read it, I realized that none of the hype was true & there was a lot of misinformation about the method out there. CIO opponents freak out about the book, but their alarm is really misplaced. The book was "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Ferber. I loved it. It worked wonders for my family. After reading it and understanding sleep (Ferber is a sleep scientist) I was able to do the right things with my other kids. I have some of the best sleepers ever.

With Ferber, it is all about teaching the child to fall asleep with no rocking, holding, etc. so that when they wake up (and everyone does - adults, too) they feel secure and know how to fall back to sleep without your intervention. If you've gotten to the point where he is falling asleep on his own, you're half-way there. Next time he wakes up after 20 minutes, don't just let him cry - I can see how that would breed distrust. Let him cry for a couple of minutes only and then go in to him. Talk to him & calm him, but DON'T PICK HIM UP or get him out of the crib. Soothe him as well as you can for a couple of minutes and then leave - even if he is still crying. Let him cry a minute or two longer than you did the first time & go in again. Soothe & the leave. Wait a few minutes longer this time and repeat, increasing the amount of time you are out of the room by a few minutes each time. If you hit a point where it's been an hour since he first went down for his nap, get him up and try again at his next naptime. You will be amazed at how quickly this method works. Your child feels secure, because he knows you will always return to him if he cries long enough - but at some point he realizes that it's not worth crying long enough to make it happen. Your son is the perfect age for this method to work. It can work for putting him down for naptime or bedtime or anytime he wakes too early or in the middle of the night. After about a week of this, all of my children have be AWESOME sleepers. And I do recommend getting hold of the book - it has great information in it. Good luck!