We have a 6 month old son who is still sleeping in a crib in our room. My 3.5 yr old occupies the other room on the main floor. There are 2 bedrooms on the 2nd floor, but I am anxious about moving either one of them up there by themselves, or even together. Fearful that my 3.5yr old will tumble down the wood steps in the middle of the night (he still comes to our bed during the night), fearful that my baby will feel very alone up there by himself when he is used to being near us and near his brother.
I am still breastfeeding, and it is so easy to feed him during the night when he is 5 feet away.
I don't want to wait too long to move him out of our room.... the longer I wait, the harder it will be I am afraid.
any advice on what to do, when to move him, etc. is welcome. Thanks!!
We have friends with the same set-up as you. They ended up having their kids share the downstairs bedroom (they're 18 mo. apart 1 girl, 1 boy). They did not want their kiddos so far away from them when they were little. As they got older, they moved to the upstairs rooms. Now they each have their own rooms. I can't remember what age they moved upstairs but the girl is now 12 and the boy will be 11 in December. Good luck!
Having your precious children nearby in case of fire, burglar, natural disaster, etc is crucial in my world & family dynamic. I bed-shared with #1 since birth until baby #2 was born and #1 was almost 6 years old. She now sleeps on a bed at the foot of our queen bed and baby #2 (2 months) has been sleeping in our bed since we brought him home.
There was an article which brought up facts from a study done saying that things American parents are doing to their children are having lasting problems with their children's emotional well being. Americas are least likely to breastfed, least likely to cater to biological designs of infants needing to be close to their Mothers until they can walk, more likely to use daycares (mainly due to financial need, sadly, not from choice), etc...
If you enjoy knowing your breastfeeding child is nearby and your oldest child is also nearby - there is nothing wrong with that... I'd be more likely to think there was something wrong with you if you forced your children to be on another floor or a far away bedroom. CO-sleeping and bed-sharing was the norm for most of humanity's history for a reason, not because they didn't own 3-4 bedroom homes! Just because you have extra rooms, doesn't mean your young vulnerable, scared children have to fill them.
here's the link:
http://thestir.cafemom.com/baby/127254/mainstream_parenti...
Just FYI~ My 10 month old is still in his crib in our room. I also breastfeed and refuse to go upstairs to all our other rooms to get him and feed him during the night. To each their own I guess.
There would be no way I would move a baby to a part of the house where I could not hear him with my natural ears. I just could not do it. I would worry and never get sleep. Plus the running up and down the stairs all night. I would keep all the family on one level.
When I was ready for my daughter to sleep in her own room (about 7mo, I think), I started her there (same floor - so I can't speak to those concerns) and then brought her back to our bed when she woke up to feed at night.
We were co-sleeping and I was finding that neither of us was getting enough sleep with her so close to the "fridge" all night.
Some nights I would bring her back to bed around 2am, others it was around 4. It varied, but it also helped her sleep through the night sooner (I think).
Added: this is the time I also started a consistent bedtime routine to help her know when it was time for bed. Dinner, bath, cuddle on the twin bed in her room until she fell asleep on me. I slowly transitioned to putting her down before she fell asleep completely, and now she's fully awake (but very tired) when I lay her down.
Agree that the longer you wait, the harder it will be. He should be fairly easy to transition. I would just move his crib to the new bedroom upstairs and start him sleeping there - be consistent and this is where he lays for naps and night time. Nothing else really changes - when he wakes at night to feed etc. you go to his room and feed him. He shouldn't notice a huge difference as I assume he's usually asleep when you're in the room with him. Use a baby monitor so you'll know when he wakes to eat.
For the 3.5 yo, I guess I would want to move him, but you would probably need to also work on getting him to stay in his bed all night long in order for that to work - because of the stairs issue that you talked about. Of course, you can get a gate for the top of the stairs, but maybe he can open that or get around it. You have two options if you want to do this. Start working on staying in his own bed in current bedroom until that's established and then can move him upstairs with the same expectation. Option two, move him upstairs and work on getting him to stay in bed. I recommend option 1 because I would worry that until he knows to stay in his own bed, he would try to get around the gate and hurt himself. Meanwhile, the baby shouldn't notice that he's on a floor all himself because he and brother would be in different rooms anyway. I don't think he will feel all alone up there as you worried because he is sleeping when he's in his crib, so it's not like you're leaving him alone to play all day. Eventually, you can have both boys upstairs in their own bedrooms and best to start now as the process may take a few months with working with the 3 yo on the bed issues. Good luck!!
I'd move him now. My 6 month old is in our room, but I think he'd get better sleep if we moved him into his own room. I will be doing it in the next few days.
I want to move him before he can stand up in the crib. Once he can stand, if he has not already been sleep-trained and accustomed to sleeping in his own room, it will be more difficult. My oldest son was nearly 8 months when we moved him, and it was difficult, because he'd pull himself up, and then stand in the crib and wail. It broke my heart, so I would get up several times a night with him, even though he didn't really NEED to eat during the night. With my second son, I moved him at 5 months, and he has been a great sleeper ever since.
It sounds like moving him now, would cause more stress on everyone. We didn't move our son from our bedroom until he was 11 months old. The transition lasted about 3 days and has worked out nicely, however, we are on the same floor.
why not put the kids in the same room? it might be tight, but it's temporary (until your oldest is more steady on the stairs) and you will get much needed privacy/adult space.
Can they share the downstairs room that your 3.5 year old is in? My daughters have always shared a room--even though there is an extra bedroom-- because I think it's a great bonding experience for them while they're young.
So - I have a similar set-up. We have a bedroom up[stairs and the mAster is downstairs. At 6 months, our pediatrician said it was time to put our lil one in her own room. I was very hesitant, but she immediately started sleeping thru the night. She is now over 2 years old and I still keep the monitor on to hear her if she wakes up. We hope to mover her into a big girl bed over Christmas and I was worried about her getting up in the middle of the night. We have since added a gate to the top of the stairs and I plan on putting a bell on her door know. This way if she wakes quietly and tries to leave her room, I'll hear the bell. I don't love that we are on seperate floors, but it was the way the house was built. Good luck - asnd what ever you choose will be right because only you know what is best for your lil one.
