5 Yr Old Boy's Attention Span

Updated on September 11, 2007
C.D. asks from Columbia, MD
5 answers

My husband and I can not get our 5 year old son to concentrate on anything for more than a few minutes at a time. We try and talk to him about something and he can't even concentrate on us while we are talking to him. You can see his eyes wandering and you can see in his face that his mind has totally wandered from what you are saying. What we don't understand is how he can concentrate on Transformers for hours but nothing else. He is totally fixated on them and knows everything about them. We have exposed him to academics and sports hoping so that he can become well rounded, letting him choose the activity. He is currently playing soccer and the coach will tell him something but you can see his thoughts aren't with the game he is usually pretending to be a transformer. He is at least 2 steps behind all the other kids because he didn't hear the instructions. I don't know how to reach him and get him to pay attention. The biggest thing though is that he is very bright. He has been reading since he was 3 and currently reads at a 2nd grade level. He was in a special education class as a peer and the teachers were able to give him a lot of 1 on 1 instruction. Also, we'll tell him about something and sometimes we think he is totally not paying attention, and then a few days later he will repeat word for word what we had told him. For example we took him to the museum at Gettysburg and my husband explained how the cannons worked. Shaun was looking at other things and my husband was getting frustrated by his inattention but he kept on talking about it. He went the next day and told his friend all about it even naming all the parts even explaining how gunpowder worked. His teachers just say that it is normal but I've seen most other 5 year olds able to concentrate on things for more than 30 seconds. He is such a good and respectful kid that no teacher has ever said anything bad about him. I don't want to medicate him unless it becomes a much larger problem for him. Also, when we try to stress something to him we get absolutely no reaction that he has heard us, somethings he stares at something else, other times a blank stare. I would love some advice as to how I can possibly get him to concentrate and pay attention. I would also like to know if there are other boys like him out there. Thanks a lot.

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.C.

answers from Washington DC on

I would hang in there, and wait, and observe. This behavior could be totally normal, but it might also be the first signs of ADD. My daughter was very much like that as a five-year-old. But five is really too young to tell. ADD comes in different flavors, and one is the "inattentive" ADD, which doesn't include the physical hyperactivity. It usually happens in girls, but can happen in boys too. If that's what it is, sooner or later one of his teachers will say something to you about how he's not following directions; you'll see him make totally careless mistakes (like forgetting to turn the page over to see what's on back), and (more often than not) his handwriting will be awful. (Dunno why that is, but it seems to go with ADD.) It has nothing to do with IQ; my daughter's in the talented and gifted program. She was diagnosed, by the way, in second grade, at the end of a very, very trying year.

Bottom line: just keep an eye on things. He's only five. Kids grow out of a lot of stuff.--T. content

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.F.

answers from Washington DC on

First of all, your son sounds wonderful!

I do think the ability to hold attention differs for all kids. However, if your instincts are telling you that there might be some issues for him, talk to your pediatrician. You should write down your observations before you talk to them, so you can give them your concerns in detail.

Your son sounds like a very typical 5 year old, but maybe with the guidence of pediatrician, you could have some testing done, to rule out any issues.

I have a wonderful, smart, funny 6 year old boy. We recently had a full battery of neuroligical, social and psychological testing done, privately (after having some of our own concerns). We did find out that he has some special needs. I'm not going to disclose the specifics, but I can tell you that it's the best thing we did, because now he get's the services he needs @ his school. He is in 1st grade and is happy and doing well.

As I mentioned, we did the testing for my son, through a privat facility but I do know that we could have done much of it through the school and the county. You had mentioned that his teachers never say anything because he's so well behaved. Remember it's the beginning of the year and his teacher is getting to know him. You should continue to voice your concerns with his teacher. As the year progresses and they get to know him, ask these questions : What do they say about is ability to stay on task @ school; Can he finish his work; does he participate w/out being prompted; does he interact with his peers. If the teacher starts to have concerns as well, she can make a formal request to have him observed by other professionals w/in the school.

In a nut shell, if you have concerns for your son, it's worth it to investigate further.

I hope that I've helped. Good luck.

M.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.W.

answers from Washington DC on

C., I perceive that you are concerned that your son may have some form of ADHD, because you talk about medications. You mention special education class and say your son benefitted from some one on one time. Maybe you should look into getting an evaluation.

Diagnosing ADHD and other attention challenges is best left to psychologists who specialize in those fields. Although many school psychologists are very good, many are not at the PhD level. The tests that the school psychologists perform are more limited in scope because their focus is on school related tasks and also due to time constraints. A full work-up is performed in two half-day sessions, and is expensive, but may help you know your son. And, who knows, an outside phychologist may only want to talk to you and your son to decide if a work-up is even needed, and may be able to put those concerns to rest. You may find out that what your son does is in the normal range and some techniques to keep him focused.

He obviously is listening to things that interest him, though he appears easily distracted. Or, he may be only focusing on things that he considers important. Perhaps he is not as interested in the soccer as he is in other things, and is only there for the fun. That's OK as long as it is what you want out of it is a time for physical activity and don't care if he's not the next Pele.

There's a difference between an inability to focus and distractability. Maybe getting a professional to evaluate your son is a step to knowing what to do. And, I'd like to ask, what do you see as the problem with how your son approaches the world? He appears to get good grades in school, retains detailed information, and interacts well with others. He may not pay attention to things that he deems less important, so maybe it's his choice of priorities that you find a problem. My take is that his thoughts of Tranformers are normal for the age, boys in my days pretended to be cowboys all the time.

My sister's oldest son was a lot like your son, even more so. He forgot to hand in school work, and focused on Legos. He's a great person now, and though he has taken his time finding his own way, he is successful in his life. Each of us is different, it would not work if we were not so diverse. I hope your son is one of the dreamers who invent the next great helps to mankind because they are focused more on what could be and less on what is. We need them all.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Explain to him you cannot tell if he is hearing you unless he looks at you. He might improve if he understands your concern. Your story about the cannons shows he is not disinterested, he just LOOKS it. If there are actual communication problems, have him checked for autism. The symptoms you describe, fixation, intelligence, detailed memory, seem to be a hallmark of autism. This is NOT a tragedy. You have the opportunity to learn how to help him before he becomes frustrated and angry.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.G.

answers from Washington DC on

I am going through some of the very same things with my 5 year old. I would recommend having him evaluated by a developmental behaviorist. They are available at University of Maryland, Sinai Hospital and Johns Hopkins.Talk to your pediatrician and ask for a referral for a developmental assessment.that's a good place to start.
Good luck,
C.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches