5 Yo Still Sucks Fingers

Updated on May 29, 2008
F.S. asks from Graham, WA
20 answers

Hello Moms
I am at the end of my rope. I have tried everything I can think of to get my 5 yo daughter to stop sucking her fingers. I've tried different reward systems, reminding her every time I see her fingers in her mouth and even apple bitter on her fingers. Nothing works! She is really stubborn about it too. She doesn't want to stop. She is going to start Kindergarten in the fall and I would really like to have this habit under control by then. I need some fresh ideas, please!! Thanks so much.
F.

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So What Happened?

Thank you very much for all the responses. In answer to a few of the questions she is not overly anxious or anything and we've had the discussion about germs. I think she does it just out of habit.
Anyway, I thank you all for your input and I am inclined to let go of this issue. Now I just have to talk my husband into it!

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S.D.

answers from Seattle on

I agree with the other posters, there is a reason she's doing it. I sucked my thumb until I was almost 10. I only did it when I was going to sleep that was why I did it. I eventually quit when I started to go to slumber parties and none of the other little girls were sucking their thumbs. I never needed braces or anything either. She'll be fine =)

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

This will sound odd, but when my son would not stop sucking his thumb, I put socks on his hands. Not for a long time, but if I caught him sucking in the car, I would pull the sock right off his foot and put it on his hand. He freaked out. I only had to do it like 2 or 3 times, and I never even made him get out of the car with it, but it worked. He still had slip ups, but after that a gentle reminder was he needed.

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L.H.

answers from Seattle on

GM F....well I'll probably have a 100 people email me and tell me what a horrible mom I am but here goes. My 5 year old still sucks her thumb. How many grown ups do you see walking around sucking their thumb? How many 15 year olds? How many 10 year olds? In fact I haven't really even seen any 7-8 years doing it. So I figure she'll quit sucking her thumb when she's ready. Probably when some of her friends at school (she also starts Kindergarten in the fall) tease her that she's a baby. My mom and husband were both thumb suckers and both said their moms tried EVERYTHING to get them to stop and in the end they gave it up when they were ready.

Good luck! Personally, I think there's worse habits to worry about but you have to do what feels right for you.

L. H

PS I'm a 38 year old sahm to 9 and 5 year old girls.

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J.B.

answers from Seattle on

F.,

I was a thumbsucker until about age 7. I stopped only when I got the chicken pox and had them on my fingers. Never sucked again. But what I want to share, was that I wasn't ever aware I was sucking my thumb until someone pointed it out. It was such a natural habit. So I don't think she is doing it just to @#$$%& you off. Imagine if someone said to you give up (fill in the blank with your favorite comfort thing) right now this very second. Could you do it? Would you want to if no one gave you a good reason to other than because they said so?

Try to see why she might do it. Is she bothered or anxious about stuff? Generally insecure?

My daughter was a finger sucker for about 2 years. Even when asleep I had to pry them out of her mouth and she'd usually pop them back in. Oddly it was the dentist himself telling her she'll mess up her teeth if she kept doing it. She stopped pretty immediately.

I know she is young, but how about letting her chew sugarless gum on and off throughout the day. It is hard to suck fingers when gum is in the mouth. That might break the unconsious habit.

I know

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M.S.

answers from Portland on

I know this is not what you wanted to hear, but there is nothing you CAN do. If she does not want to stop, then she won't. The best thing to do is leave it alone. If you really need to do something, then figure out WHY she sucks her fingers. Does she do it when she is bored, scared, nervous, etc? Address the cause, not the problem. If she does it while bored, then hand her something to do with her hands when you see her doing it. If she is anxious or nervous, then help her work through her emotions. There are plenty of other Kindergarteners that will be sucking their thumbs, picking their nose, and other such habits. She will not stand out. One day, someone will make a comment about it and she will decide on her own to stop. Until then, it serves a purpose for her.

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K.H.

answers from Seattle on

Hi F. -
A piece of advice from the personal experience dept...I was a thumb sucker and a nail biter. The more fuss you make over it the longer it will continue. Let it go and over time your daughter will give it up because she doesn't need it anymore and because she's not getting a reaction out of you.
Hope this helps some-
K.

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S.S.

answers from Portland on

Nothing in the world my mom tried worked with me either. Then one day I was climbing trees with my brother and my hands got covered in Juniper pitch and some of the Juniper berry juice. It is the miracle cure for thumb/finger suckers. That stuff is horribly bitter, but completely non-toxic. The best part is that it doesn't wash off completely for days! That means that you don't have to keep reapplying it. It is bound to cure their desire to suck, it fixed me. :) Good luck!

PS. Please disregard letting her end it when she is ready. A note to those parents...Thumb and finger sucking can lead to buck teeth (no not in all cases, but in many of them). I had 4 years of braces to correct mine that could have been only 2 years if I had not pushed them out so far with my thumb sucking. And by the way, I was still sucking strong at 8 1/2 years old when that Juniper cure happened. I had no plans for ending anytime soon and I didn't really care if the other kids teased me about it because they never saw me do it, I hid it well.

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B.L.

answers from Jacksonville on

I would lay off. The more you harp on it the more she is doing it. There will be other kids in school who are still sucking their thumbs. She will eventually figure out on her own that it's not the mainstream thing to do. The next time she sees the dentist you might have him/her show her pictures of what happens to the teeth (or look for pictures on line?) from doing that. It's not a big deal. If it soothes her, then it is serving a purpose for now.

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K.M.

answers from Seattle on

I am no germa-phobe, but what about germs? I believe the immune system is boosted by having a not so sterile environment at home, but there is a time when the number of germs on your hands can cause more illnesses than necessary.

My husband's oldest sucked her thumb so much as a toddler that cracked and bled. Her solution? Start sucking her finger. We managed to get her to stop sucking her finger (she never did go back to the thumb) when she was with us, but as soon as she saw her mother, in went the finger.

We finally started talking to her about how sick she could get if she kept sucking her finger (she was sick a lot as a child, in my opinion). Peer pressure had nothing to do with her choice to quit sucking her finger. I would go into her room at night when she stayed with us and pull her fingers out of her mouth if they were in there. She would fall asleep with them there, but once out, they stayed out. She was nearly 9 when she finally quit for good.

Neither of our younger kids sucked their thumbs or fingers. Our son just loved the bottle. Our daughter took a pacifier until she was about 6 months old then spit it out one day. End of oral fixation as a child.

Try the germs approach. You could do that germs experiment where you put glitter on her hand and then have her walk around and touch things, like doorknobs and faucets and toys so she can see where germs can be. Explain that the glitter could be germs and, while some germs aren't going to make you sick, lots of germs certainly can. If each of you do it with a different color, she can see how she can get germs from lots of people. She might get the message.

M.B.

answers from Seattle on

F.,

I'd just wait until she starts kindergarten. The peer pressure should do what you have, so far, been unable to do. Kids are great at asking those embarrassing, awkward questions that get the desired results.

Hope this helps,
Melissa

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N.P.

answers from Seattle on

You might check with her dentist. I know a child's dentist in the Renton area who has some different devices they use to get kids to stop sucking their thumbs. One that I remember is a plastic covering that goes over the thumb at night...harmless to the kid but they can not physically suck their thumbs with it on...after a few nights or a few weeks, I'd think the problem would go away. I have heard that sucking ones thumb too late can affect the teeth and speech too. It might be worth it to check in to it since you've tried everything else. Good luck.

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M.R.

answers from Seattle on

Hi, I'm not a mother, I'm still a teenager but I think reading these threads will help me when I'm older and planning on becoming a mother. But I do feel like I can help with this one, my brother sucked his thumb until he was about 7 years old and he was the same way, it was so hard to get him to stop, but they make something called "thumb cribs" or something similar and they are plastic covers to go over your child's thumb, they can't get the pressure they used to have from sucking on their thumbs so they get frusterated and end up stopping because they are no longer getting the satisfaction they once were, I hope this helps!

M.

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A.K.

answers from Seattle on

Hi F.,
My niece is 4 and sucked her fingers. Recently, her parents took her to the dentist and he installed something on the top of her mouth which makes it less satisfying to suck her fingers, so she has stopped.

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W.L.

answers from Seattle on

Honestly, I wouldn't worry about it. Her teacher will remind her not to do it at school. Also she will be so facinated and interested in what's going on at school she probably won't do it there anyway. Does she do it when friends are over? Or when she goes to her friends house to play? I bet she doesn't do it as much when she's busy. My son sucks his thumb but usually only when he's tired. To my knowledge he doesnt do it at preschool (he's going to be 5 in Aug). So I think drawing more attention to it makes it worse. If he does it when it's not nap time or bed time I just simply tell him to take his thumb out and that's the end of it. (I may have to tell him 10 times) I hope this helps and gives you some reassurance.
W.

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L.J.

answers from Seattle on

F.

In my opinion, don't worry about it. I too have a daughter who will be 5 in July and starting Kindergarten this Fall. She sucks 2 of her fingers while holding a baby wash cloth!
She used to do it alot but we have been slowly weening her away from it. So now she only does it when she is sleeping. She recently went to the Dentist and her teeth don't show any signs of future buck teeth. :)
I feel it's a relaxing, comforting, security thing for her.
I believe she will just stop using it on her own. She has even said a couple times, I don't need my cloth anymore and puts it down.....LOL So with your daughter, know that it is perfectly normal and don't let others tell you it's a bad thing...cuz it's not! :)

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A.K.

answers from Yakima on

F.-
Relax, I am a pre-school teacher and one of the most common things we see with pre-schoolers and kindergartners is them picking their nose and eating it. So, if your child is jus tputting her fingers in her mouth then i think its somthing we will be able to tackle. In school she will be repeated reminded to keep her fingers out of her mouth and then go and washer her hands, tell me how many children want to leave the activity they are doing with their friends to wash up all the time, not many im thinking. She will outgrow it, please dont worry about it and try that remedy at home, tell her you need t practice for school so if you see her fingers in her mouth that you will be reminding her to wash her hands and then go back to play again- I hope this helps you-
A.

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S.C.

answers from Austin on

I had 2 thomb suckers. The first one, I spent 500 to have this thing put in her mouth that prevented her from getting her thumb in. She then started biting her nails. With the 2nd, she stopped herself after starting school. She would make it all day without and sometimes on the bus would fall asleep and suck it. Eventually she stopped.

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L.N.

answers from Seattle on

Hi, F.! Neither of my daughters sucked their thumbs, but I did watch a little girl that sucked her thumb when she was going down for a nap and at bedtime. It turned out that she wouldn't suck her thumb if she had a bandaid on! Perhaps that would work for your daughter also. Good luck!

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L.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

She will stop when she has the motivation. I teach kindergarten. We have a "thumbs' up" program with the two girls (out of 25 kids) who still suck their thumbs. Everytime I see them, I say their name and, "thumbs' up!" This helps, but, ultimately, they have to want to stop. I sucked my thumb until I was 7. My parents even tried putting Tobasco sauce on my thumb! I stopped as a birthday present for my dad, cold turkey. It just takes the motivation. If she's still sucking her thumb at age 6 or 7, let me know. =0) Otherwise, most kids, when they get around their peers and see that most of them are growing out of it, choose to do so, too. =0)
L.

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W.J.

answers from Seattle on

My six year old doesn't suck her fingers, but she chews her hair or her shirt constantly. I remind her all the time, but it doesn't seem to help. However, I have found that if her mouth is busy she won't chew nearly as much, so gum has worked well for us. I think some kids just still need oral stimulation, or I guess it's possibly a security thing. Anyway, good luck!

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