5 Year Old Son Kicked Out of Kindergarden

Updated on February 08, 2007
C.C. asks from Kingston Springs, TN
7 answers

My son is 5 and his birthday falls right on the line where I could put him in school this year, so I did. I figured if it didn't go right this year I could always put him back in next year and he would still only be 6. He started hitting his teacher when she would put him in time out, so the school kicked him out for the rest of the year (not that I don't blame them)
How do I go about getting him to stop hitting people?

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answers from Chattanooga on

C., Somehow your son has figured out that hitting gets a reaction, and it has worked, again.
The only solution at this point is to set limits with him, make it clear that he is to listen to you, and that hitting is not allowed. If he hits, do not respond with hitting him (spanking). Instead, the consequence should be a time out (one minute per year of age) in an area without toys but where you can clearly see him and ensure he SITS in time out.
I would also recommend if this is not successful that you enforce consequences such as removal of television priveleges, removal of a favorite activity (video game, toy, etc). If these fail, seek professional help through your pediatrician. Hitting can be an expression of more serious problems such as autism or Oppositional Defiant Disorder.
Hope this helps!
And a little PS to Melanie, of course this child has a right to education, but the teacher has a right to teach without any form of violence or threat. Hitting is unacceptable and should not be tolerated by any teacher.
V. Pickett, RN

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Dothan on

Five year olds hit, as do four, three, two, and even one year olds. He hits because he is frustrated and doesn't have the words to express his frustration. Understanding his motivation is the key to teaching him alternative behaviors it is not an excuse. I am a special education teacher and when my students hit I immediately put them into timeout and say, "Hitting hurts! We do not hit!" Once time out ends we then talk one on one about the issues that lead up to hitting. I am an attentive listener with time and patience because I want the student to know that when he hits he is ignored but when he uses his words I will listen. As for getting kicked out of public school.... he has the right to a free appropriate public education. You are paying for it with your tax money. Did they try any type of behavior intervention plan? If so what was it?



answers from Memphis on

When did he start doing this? Was it just with his teacher when he started school or has he been doing this?

If he has been doing this - Are there consequences to his actions, basically, do you discipline him or just tell him to stop.

That's a hard one. Each of my kids tried that with me once and that's all it took. They never raised a hand to me again.

At 5 years old he is well aware of what he is doing. If he has done this at home before starting school he probably expected to get the same response from his teacher that he does when he does it with you.

Him being put out of school is only hurting him and I might would speak with the Board of Education about it. From what I have read and heard ( I have an ADHD child) school employees are suppose to be trained to handle any of these situations. Your son has a right to an education and it seems like they would work with you on this.

I am sorry to make this so long but I was dropping off some money at my childs school about a week or two ago and I had to use the restroom. I used the one in the teachers lounge. When I went through there were 2 adults and a child, when I came out of the restroom and walked back through one of these women had the child in the corner and was basically using her body to keep him there. I wondered what happened but I couldn't be nosey of course. I know there were two adults because there has to be witness to any discipline of that kind.

What school and when did this happen? I was at OBES.



answers from Clarksville on

I have the same problem. I put my son iinto the pre-k because he didn't meet the birthday requirment, but alos because I knew school was going to be a hard change in his life. I'm a stay at home mom and my boys have never been out of my care.

Camden has had many problems with the change as I expected, but pre-k is working his through it. He has hit many kids and really been a brat (mostly because he doesn't want to bethere, he wants mommy). He has made huge steps and come a long way.

However the teacher did warn me that next year he will only be given 3 chances and they will kick him out :( So my husband and I have been working with the teacher to help him over come this.
Not every child goes through this, but many do. Some worse then others, but dealt with right he will over come it and be fine. It could very well be he just wasn't ready. I would talk with him and try to figure out why, then work on what he is suppose to do in school. Good luck and just remember it's not odd for him to do these things :)



answers from Knoxville on

do you use any form of discipline???



answers from Jackson on

Hello!I feel for you but he is obvious angry inside and he is dealing with this the only way a 5 yr old child knows how to .He is lashing out at her and she probally does not have anything to do with his anger. I would take him to a theraptist that only deals with chidren.Normally we can talk to our children until we are blue in the face but we do not know how their little minds work.Therefore we are unable to get out of them what we need to help them.Has he always been agressive or is this all new???



answers from Birmingham on

C., What is he like at home? Spirited? Does he hit YOU? Tell us about his day; was he raised in daycare, at home, he went to MDO sometimes?

Does or could he have allergies? Does he watch a lot of tv?

I don't have a pat answer but I'm a mom of 6 and maybe can help if I understand the bigger picture.

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