5 Year Old Has Trouble Going to Sleep

My oldest son has/had similar problems going to bed - he didn't like to be alone, even with his younger brother in the same room. We use a timer that we put outside his bedroom door so we can both hear it. We start off setting the timer for a couple of minutes and then slowly increase it until he's asleep. It's a bit of pain b/c you have to keep going in, but atleast my son stays in bed and, I think, knowing that we'll be back when it goes off helps him to relax.
Good Luck!

HI E., my son is also 5, we have had ongoing battles about sleeping through the night and getting to bed. First let me ask. Did he begin Kindergarten this september?? if so this is a big adjustment period for him and will disrupt his sleep as well as raise questions of you and your husband leaving him?? etc. Seperation issues. Secondly we use the good morning fairy! If you go right to sleep at bed time and stay asleep all night she leaves a prize hidden in your room . Like the tooth fairy. You can go to the Dollar store or party store and but little prizes etc. to leave for him in the morning! we leave a webkinz when he has made it through 3-5 nights or something w/ lots of incentive! IT worked like a charm until kindergarten started. we are just getting back into a routine and we r on our third week of school. Also we have a night lite buddy, they r called tyke lites, Leaps and bounds has them they r great or they have turtles that are aslo night lites check them out Leapsandbounds.com

Good luck, I have many more suggestions if you need to talk. we have been going through this since my son was 3, Just last october we got him to start sleeping, however, this summer it all fell apart when we were both home from school.... now it is beggining to get better again. 5 is a HUGE developmetnal age. let me know...

O.K. First question (one that people have already asked you ten times); what has changed in this little person's life? Did he start kindergarten? Was he scared about starting kindergarten? Have you been working late on a project? It seems to me (I'm not an expert) that 5's can be very clingy and apprehensive about things. My first grader (a 6)woke a few nights from bad dreams after school began. I actually heard other moms say the same thing. I would just try to be very understanding, loving, systematic and firm..... Easier said than done when you're exhausted and still have four hours of work to do before your own nappy. Try to take the stress off yourself because kids sense this stuff and if you need to speak to a professional about how you're dealing with the situation, do do. Good luck. I feel sorry for your little guy!

Hi E.~ I hear you on the sleep thing. I had similar problems as well...however not as severe. My suggestion to you is lay with him for 10 minutes and explain to him that when 10 minutes are up it is bed time. If he continiues to get out of bed, place him on the floor in your bedroom...but not in your bed. Eventually he will get used to falling asleep and start to feel safe because he is in your room. Then he will soon lose the fear of being alone. Even now my girls sleep in there beds, but if they get out they know to make there bed next to mine and they go right to sleep! I will you the best of luck...
K.
Mother of 2 girls 3 and 6....

Hi~
Taking him to a counselor seems a little extreme to me, unless there are other issues going on as well. My almost 5 yr old has alot of difficulty going to sleep by himself. DH & I usually have no problem staying with him until he falls asleep. We have a solid bedtime routine, but he has always needed that little extra bit of snuggles & reassurance while falling asleep. This usually means 15-20 minutes (although now that I'm at the end of my pregnancy, I often fall asleep with him for an hour or so :)

For times when our presence is keeping him awake, or we need to take care of something, we put on a cd he knows very well, & tell him which song we'll be back to check on him--then make sure to do it! His bedroom is right next to our kitchen, so he can hear me puttering around, doing dishes,etc.

So here are my suggestions:
- Perhaps try staying with him at night until he falls asleep
- If your not comfortable with that...Set up a chair in the hall outside him room & read your book there after you turn off his light. Maybe leave his door open a crack so he can see you.
- Let him know in advance where you will be & when you will be back to check on him...give him a timer, watch or something (if it doesn't disturb your 3 yr old, maybe try the music idea we use) so he can know when he'll be seeing you again.

I really don't think there's anything wrong with children needing extra attention & reassurance at night. Every child is different & their needs change over time...this too will pass.

We use to deal with a very similar situation. Our boys are close to the same ages as yours (5 1/2 and 2 1/2) We went through all the routines of one of us having to lay with him till he fell asleep, etc. We got to a point that when our 2.5 year old starting asking us to lay with him because he caught on to what we were doing for his brother - I put on the brakes. I knew I didn't want to go down this path with our 2nd child. So we changed up our routine a little and did a little bit of tough love approach combined with meeting in the middle. Our routine is now tv off at 7, books, teeth, then we go to our older sons room, sing songs, say our goodnights and bring the youngest into his room. We started by slowly removing ourself from their room (i.e. sitting in hallway) and moving a little further away each night (of course we had our nights of screaming, etc) We eventually moved ourselves into our bedroom down the hall (I didn't mind this compromise as it allowed me time to fold laundry, etc) we stuck with it and now they both are usually asleep by 8:15. Good luck!

we just went through thisa with our 5 year old daughter. I would just keep putting her back in bed. say nothing just put him back to bed. the less attentionhis misbehaviour gets the better. we established a good bedtime routine to go with us stickng to our rules. Sometimes as parents we forget we make the rules and kids only get away with what we let them. I wouldnot sit in the hall as another parent suggested that is givningin ti whatthe child wants and detrimenatal to whatyou want to happen. we had somehelp from a couseling agency. kinda like a visit from supernanny. you can go to abc.com there is a link to the show nad all the advice she gives to the families.

Hi E.,

Sounds like his mind is working overtime. I'd suggest having him listen to a bedtime story recording. One I have is Greathall Productions presents A Sttoryteller's Version of... Good Night Enchanting story visualizations with sleepytime music As created and told by Jim Weiss. It's on compact disc. My boys listen to the stories and fall asleep. Perhaps if your son had a sleepytime story to listen to he might not concentrate on where you are but be engaged in listening to the story.

: ) Maureen

E.,
You are not alone. My 5y old just started in with the same thing, even though he also shares his room with his 2&1/2 yr old brother. My thought is they are reaching another cognitive level. It seems sleep is one of the first things to be interrupted by this. He has also been testing a bit more while awake.
We sit in their room for a little bit with lights off. Then leave and return to check on. We extend the time for a check in each time and usually it works well. We also have a 4 month old in the house, which doesn't make this process easy. The boys just got bunk beds, and we are thinking of getting big brother a light...
We learn just as much as they seem to! Keep up your consistancy in what ever you do. You know your kids best. Just know that I'm trying to figure it out too and that I'm sending patience your way for those much needed nights!!!
M..