5 Year Old Drama Queen

On January 8 there's going to be the first in a series of parenting classes. You can take one or all. The first one is Understanding Your Two to Five Year Old:
http://www.bodymindandspiritabq.com/2009-parenting-series...

Even with my third, I'm looking forward to that one! You'd think I'd have it down by now.

you need to stop that in the bud because it will get worse as she gets older. what worked for my boys when they were young, when they said something i didnt like i told them that it realy hurt my feelings when they said whatever and that i felt they needed to know how much it hurt , then i woudl ask them to bring me their favorite toy and i would keep it for a week and they only got it back after an appology. also if you respond to her actions, she is getting the desired effect. if you dont respond to tantrums then she is not getting the attention she is doing it for so she is going to try somethign else

I agree with Arlene. Don't go into the power struggles I did that way too much when one of my girls was young. She is a teen now, and is good for the most part, but we have had lots of struggles. I played into the guilt too much. You need to let them know who is boss. If you don't now they will feel they do not need to listen to you as a teen.

Try not to get into the emotional aspect of it. I think if she says I hate you, I'd just say that really hurts my feelings and no matter what you say I'll always love you. Or I am sorry you feel that way, but I did not say that to hurt you. When I get into the emotional aspect of my child's comments then I get into trouble and they get annoyed by me. I have a hard time not reacting to the things said/done. It is best if you can not show the emotions (I don't mean not to tell her what she says is hurtful, make sure she knows it). But don't worry that everything you say is going to damage her. If you say something wrong, apologize. I have learned it is best to make our responses short and not go into long drawn out things, covering the same ground over and over. You can ask why she feels that way. Explain what you mean and how you feel about the situation and then move on. I think the inability to let go of yesterday's drama or hurts makes it harder to deal with today. I am working at not bringing past issues into present situations. I think when we label them like she's such a drama queen, or baby, or whiner, etc. Then that sticks in our mind and we tend to treat them that way. And we get annoyed easier by the little things they do. I'm not judging I am speaking from experience. I said the same about my child. She has always been dramatic. However, me worrying about how she is going to react to every little thing has made what could have been a small drama into major issues.

Also, we don't always have to give them a reason for saying no. I used to think I had to explain. You can just say I don't think it's a good idea. I don't feel good about that situation, or if you want you can say you have other plans if that is the case. However, sometimes my kids just wanted a yes or no and no explanation. If they pushed for it then I would give them the reasoning. Often my husband and I (trying to figure out plans would take a long time to answer). Sometimes, I think it would have been better to say no right away that we have other plans, or whatever than make them wait.

Anyway, I hope some of this helps. Just realize she is a unique little child of God and you can't control her. You can guide her to make right decisions now by using loving discipline, (teaching right and wrong with consequences for both actions). Praise, good feelings, respect for right ones, and guilt, punishment, or loss of privileges for wrong behavior).

Take care and God Bless You - Merry Christmas!
K.

I too have one of those that is was so bad she would hold her breath. One time we had to call the ambulance. Now she is 10 and we for years have been afraid to get her mad. Well no more because then they lose respect and when they get older will have many more problems when they don't get their way so it could lead to many awful things in her future. Now we don't hurt as much when she is mad. Oh well! better to be mad now than later in life have so many prolems if we coax them now.
For example on the news lately I heard Casey Anthony who killed her daughter when she was growing up her parents never wanted her upset and they walked on egg shells all their lives for her and spoiled her. When she became older the reality was not real for her because of her upbringing. You cannot let your child under any circumstances be that selfish or learn to win on her temper tantums. After awhile she learns the temper tantrums don't work. What worked for me on my daughter was one Christmas we went to a giving tree at a local store and there she found out a child her age all she asked for was a brush set or another child asked for diapers for her sister. When my daughter and I went to buy the brush set and diapers she was very humbled and sad and seemed to be more content on the things she had and a loving mother who cared about someone else less fortunate. It helped our relationship and she seems better to work with and we can talk about more things now since we bonded over that day at the store. Hope this helps because recently I have less stress in my life knowing it is okay if I don't give in to her. But you really should let her know it is not okay to say I hate you over something stupid. Hope this helps a little and know every child goes through this but it depends on the parents really? on the outcome. I am finished fearing her and that helps me big time once I was set on that!

Oh man do I feel your pain!

Nothing prepared me for the "drama" that my own 5 year old daughter brings to my life daily. I had three boys first (piece of cake), but my own little "tragic terror" goes to pieces over the slightest thing!

My pediatrician reminded me that girls are "just wired differently". We are by nature more concerned with emotional well being and bonding so any threat to that seems tragic (i.e. being disciplined, snapped at or left out of something).

My daughter is also consumed with social interaction, who is friends with who and why...
She was left out of a birthday party once (the child in question passed out invitations to some of a group in front of my daughter...tacky) and she cried all night and didn't want to go back to the group activity where it happened.

Her brothers look at her like she is from another planet when she does this...they would have cared less if they didn't get invited to something. My daughter is refusing to go back to the meetings and won't look at the girl who slighted her. I made her go once and it was so akward. I was so unprepared for this level of drama at such a young age.

Heaven help us when they start menstrating!

You are not alone, my 6yr old does the same thing, she doesn't say I hate you, but she writes notes if I'm upset about her not cleaning her room or I ask her to do something, she slips notes in my room saying you don't love me, or you hate me! I think it's a phase I tell her I love you but you are cleaning your room. Lol as for her saying I hate you, she did try that with her brother I said we don't use the word hate and If i hear it again you will be in time out ( grounded with no tv) she doesn't like that at all. so she chooses her words more careful. Good luck!!

They are never too young . My own daughter was a "drama queen" before she could talk or walk. Enjoy her She will give you much to love and learn. Mine is still somewhat of handful. She is 21 now and I let her active-duty marine-recruiter husband take the heat now.
Happy Holidays!