5 Year Old Behavior Problems at School

S.,
My daughter just turned six and just last week she was having major attitude. She was great in school but to me, she was rude, mean and hateful!

I finally got her to talk to me and her "best friend" was mean to her all day. To our kids their friends are very important and what they say and do means alot!
We as parents do not always remember what it was like at this young age. But we must try!

Also, talk to his teacher. Within our first week of school the kindergarten teacher resigned- they had a subsitute for a couple of weeks and now finally they got a permanent teacher who is Great!
Maybe your son has a conflict with another student or with the teacher. Differences in personalities play alot in this too.

Best of luck, if I can be of any further help let me know.
L. :)

My son is 4 and he is gonna b 5 in Feb.. He is acting the same way... So my advise would to make sure you and his teacher are on the same level with concequences as your comfortable with.. Then he should work it off with extra chores or Loose something until the following day.. also have them write a letter to the people disturbed by his behavior.. That helps my son really understand who and what he has affected.. but I think its just like the terable 3's ... Just another phase in the worlwind (at times) in raising children... hope I could help....C.

I'll respond with a question. Could it be that something at school is bothering him and causing this out of character behavior?

Have you talked to the teacher to find out if there have been any changes at school? Has the teacher changed or maybe the teacher's assistant? Has your son had a falling out with a friend or does he seem not to be fitting in with the other kids.

You could talk with his teacher and see if she is noticing a trigger to your son's behavior.

YOu could try positive reinforcement. If your son has a good week at school with no incidences then you will take him to the dollar store, buy him a happy meal, give him a dollar, take him to a special park for the day, etc.

Positive reinforcment for good behavior and he gets nothing for bad behavior. My daughter's pre-k teacher has a treasure box that the kids get to pick out of every Friday. If their "star" gets put in the "sad" pocket more than once during the week then they do not get to pick out of the treasure box. Seems to work for her.

Good luck and stay on it.

M.

Hi S.,

I am no psychiatrist, but I have an idea as to what is going on. Something similar happened with my little boy.

I noticed your second child is only 4 months old. Although your son is acting well with you and your husband, he might be getting stressed out about the new baby. He obviously loves the baby, but the baby is getting all the attention he used to get. So, he might be taking out his frustrations on people at school.

My son was only 2 when our daughter was born, but something similar happened. We had him well prepared for her arrival, and he absolutely loved (loves) her. However, even though I would spend a special monny-Carson hour at night just with him, he inadvertently got the shaft during the day. Whenever he asked for something, most of the time I would answer "Sure honey, after I am finished (changing, feeding, bathing) Emily." Well, I noticed this (that he was always second gun to her during the day) and changed my ways. Emily was little enough not to notice if I kept her in a diaper for an extra minute or two so that I could get my son a drink, toy, etc. When I made the change, his problems at school stopped and he stopped the tantrums that had started at home.

So, I guess my advice to you is...keep in mind that, although your son loves his little sibling and is behaving well for you and your husband, this whole new baby thing is probably stressing him out. Sit down and talk with him about it (remind him that he is your favorite "big-brother") and make sure that he is not becoming second gun. Make sure he gets some of the mommy-daddy spotlight, too.

I hope this helps,
T.

This is a phase they go through. But, ask him if he has any upsets about anything at school. Also if there is stuff he does not understand, get him to talk to you. Then use the advice in the responses regarding consequences and rewards and penalties.

D.

Could be a delayed reaction to the new baby-- could be a developmental phase (is he almost 5 1/2?---sometimes there is disequillibrium around the 1/2 birthdays)...it could be he is taking a step back in order to take a leap to the next level of development.

Keep reinforcing the positive and have you asked your son what he thinks is going on?
D.