5 Y/o and the "F" Word!

Hi L.,

Isn't it amazing how quickly little ones pick up the bad stuff!!! My kids are all older now but what worked well with our family was to explain why we don't say words like that. (That means that mom and dad have to watch our mouths too -- which is really tough sometimes!) In our family, it was because God is not pleased with bad language. We read the children the verses in the Bible that explain that God does not hold the person guiltless that takes His name in vain and that we will be judged for every idle word we speak. I taught the kids that God is watching and hearing them at all times and that He loves them so it makes Him unhappy to hear them say bad words. Now...when one of us said a bad word (Mom included!) we would apologize to the rest of the family and pray and ask God's forgiveness.

This has worked really well. I haven't heard my kids say any bad words since they were small (it is mom that has to apologize every now and then!) If you don't have a religious reason not to allow cursing in your home, you will probably have to have a very good explanation for your little one as to why it is not allowed. (It hurts other people's feelings, etc.)

I grew up in a home where my dad cussed all the time and my mom did not like it at all. My mom used the soap in the mouth thing with me when I was little but she said she thought I must have liked soap because it didn't deter me! I guess she must have given up trying to get me to quit because I remember before starting kindergarten she sat me down and explained that I would not be allowed to say bad words at school. She explained which words were bad and I remember being shocked that SOB was a bad word! (I only remember getting into trouble for saying bad words at school once, so I guess she must have gotten her point across!)

Best wishes!
A.

Mine did it at 3 and said SOB. She learned it from daddy while he worked on the car. He does not do it around them, but he was working on the car and didn't know she was around. He's more careful now. That being said - I used soap. If my kids day an ugly word they get their mouths washed out. I put the soap on a wet washcloth and rub their teeth with it (I use the soapy washcloth so that they don't get too much soap in their mouth). It works. My oldest I had to do it a couple of times (her's wasn't cuss words - but still ugly name calling). Right now I'm sure he thinks he looks like a "big" kid using those words, but I'm sure with sticking to your guns and some help from his teacher this will pass and in 15 years you'll laugh about it. Good luck and God Bless!!

He knows you think it is wrong and he still does it.. sounds to me like he wants attention. I would not make a big deal of it but give him more attention other times. Just say "Your teacher said you said a bad word today" and leave it at that...

??

Kati

It seems to me he wants to start a conversation with someone older than himself and he thinks this will get it done. So have the conversation with him at home and be sure to listen to him-then add in that some words should ot be used out in public like school or the playground or generally out of the house-also some words are said and yes he hears people saying them but he knows that it is not good for him to use those words at least till he is a grown-up and truely understands how and when to say them. I ran into this when mine were young and I spoke to them in just that manner-as equals-then explained that some people say things they should not and it is not very nice(key here NICE) for young people to say those words-we all know they do but hope "you" will be one of the good guys and wait till you are grown up. My kids both remember the "talk" and now look back with smiles and know it got them thru-it! By the way you might want to start s*x ed before he turns 7! yes 7! :-) It is a combined effort-that will show up next!

I do cuss and drop the F bomb. My kids, even my 13yr. wont cuss they know they are big people words. they are used to it and they dont think it is a big deal. just like sex and drugs. I talk openly about these subjects all the time. even with my 6yr old.

Sounds like an attention getter to me...Let it be known that this is unacceptable that you are talking with his teacher and she will also be giving punishment everytime he uses the word (even suggest to her what to do...time out, take away fav toy, etc.).

My kids have learned that there are appropriate ways to get my attention...they will tell me they want mommy time or snuggle time and I MAKE time for them...it's outbread the bad language in a heartbeat! In fact, if I let one slip they are calling ME to the carpet! LOL

Good luck!