5 Month Old Wont Sleep - Buda,TX

Updated on June 16, 2009
J.D. asks from Buda, TX
13 answers

My son is almost 5 months old. He eats 4-6 ounces every 2 hours and I give him cereal with bananas and/or applesauce twice a day. He only sleeps for about 7 hours a day(total in a 24hr period)He doesnt sleep in his crib at all and just cries until you get him. I dont want to use the cry-out methoud and I really cant because he will make himself throw-up. The thing is, he has been sleeping in his swing for the past 3 1/2 months. He has been very congested and it had moved to his chest so he had to sleep upright. He has been on a nebulizer for close to 2wks/on and off. So now I am trying to get him to sleep in the crib and he refuses. We dont let him sleep in our bed. And at night we sometimes give in and just put him in the swing so we can sleep! We are trying a routine but he wont go to sleep before midnight no matter what we do,then he wakes up 1-2 times a night and gets up at 630a. I can rarely get him to sleep another hour or 2 after that. He doesnt take a nap during the day and gets super cranky. I let him cry for 30 minutes the other day in his crib and he made himself throw up. He will sleep for a few hours if you hold him but I refuse to do so. My husband on the otherhand gives in to whatever he wants and will hold him just so he sleeps. So Im pretty exhausted dealing with the other kids AND trying to get this one on a schedule. I need advice that doesnt include a cry-out method...and no abshing the hubby...he's a great dad!! :) Just stubborn! Im not trying to be mean to my baby by refusing to let him be held while sleeping, i just want him to learn to sleep on his own. I have other kids who need attention too!!

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E.R.

answers from Austin on

DO you think he might have acid reflux? I have two boys that have it and that is what it sounds like to me. They are uncomfortable laying down because of it, so it makes it easier to sleep in a swing or on someone's chest. It can be "silent", you know, so spitting up isn't always a symptom.
If it is not reflux, then I recommend the Secrets of the Baby WHisperer book - she has awesome methods that really work and doesn't use crying it out. Good luck! Sleep issues are so hard!

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

Hey there. My baby had a lot of trouble adjusting to her crib, too. She loved her Moses basket so much and my arms or her daddy's. She also has reflux. We tilted her mattress and I worked with one sleep a day. I started with sleeping in her own crib for the morning nap. It took about a week before she was consistently sleeping there for that nap. Then I tackled the next nap and so on and finally the bedtime. I also liked Ferber's research and gave her a chance to settle herself down a few minutes longer everyday.
Good luck!!

1 mom found this helpful
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V.B.

answers from Houston on

Well, I'm no expert, so let's start there, but it is obvious to me that your baby isn't getting enough sleep. The reason you're having such a hard time getting him to sleep is because he is overtired. I would try to get him on the EASY schedule (Eat, Activity, Sleep, You time, from the Baby Whisperer). In other words, he eats when he wakes up, has a period of activity and then sleeps for awhile so that you have some time to yourself (even if it's only 30 minutes). Then, when he wakes up, the cycle starts again. This age is tough because they are starting to realize when you aren't around. Also, you really are going to have to sleep train him if you don't want bad habits to form. Nobody says you have to leave him crying for 30 minutes until he throws up, but my son had to cry for a few minutes (sometimes 15 or so) for a long time before he learned to put himself to sleep on his own. I just went in to check on him every 10 minutes or so and would give his paci back or soothe him for a minute and then try again. In the beginning, sometimes it would work after one or two tries and sometimes I just had to get him out of his crib and hold him because he would be too upset to calm himself. It takes time, but I don't know of any way to get a baby to just start falling asleep on their own with no crying. I think there is a book called the "No Cry Sleep Solution"....I have seen posts about it on this site, but I haven't read it, so I have no idea how it works. Maybe check that out from the library and see what it has to say?

I have 2 kiddos and honestly, sleep training was the toughest part of parenting a baby that age, but I am so glad that I did it because my 3.5 year old sleeps in a big girl bed (since the day she turned 2 years old) and has never gotten out of bed once we tuck her in at night. She will lay there and listen to music and talk to herself or her stuffed animals, but she never leaves the bed or the room. She is comfortable there and knows how to put herself to sleep (and has since she was 4-5 months old). My son, who just turned one a couple of weeks ago also puts himself to sleep with no crying now. It took longer for him and he probably didn't stop the fussing until he was around 8-9 months old, but the crying times got shorter and shorter and fewer and farther between. This is an important skill and the earlier they learn it, the easier it will be. You don't want to be on Nanny 911 2 years from now because your toddler won't stay in his bed.

If he is feeling better and the congestion has subsided a little, then I would really work on getting him in his bed. At 5 months, he is becoming VERY aware of the difference between the crib and the swing and will have an obvious preference. Again, a habit can form very easily that would be hard to break later. Can you raise the end of the crib so that he is not laying flat? That might help him breathe a little better when he's sleeping.

I know this probably wasn't much help to you because you didn't want advice on crying it out, but I really think if you work with him and help him learn to do this, you will be successful and you won't have to hold him or rock him to sleep. He really can learn to do it on his own, he just needs some help. The other thing that I invested in that I LOVE is the Fisher Price Aquarium for the inside of the crib. It has music and lights and bubbles (there are different settings, so you can have just music or all of it) and both of my kids loved that. They even learned to push the button themselves to turn it on when they were a little older. I think the new models even come with a remote control so you can turn it on from outside the room. This might also help soothe him. Try to get a routine going for him and do the same thing every time he goes down to sleep. I know this is very long, so I'll stop rambling. I just feel for you because I know how frustrating this can be (my son was a VERY difficult baby and had reflux on top of it, so we had a harder time getting him to sleep well also). Just remember, sleep begets sleep, so the more you can get him to rest, the better he will sleep once he's down. Good luck! Sorry again for the long post.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.P.

answers from San Antonio on

Does the baby spit up constantly? Have you ruled out reflux? If they have reflux they tend to do better sitting up, you might consider at the next baby well check up to see if this could be a factor, other than congestion. My daughter did the same to me at that age, but no one talked to me about reflux, and I know now, that was part of the problem ( she also had asthma). The baby whisperer solves all your problems, was my favorite book, I think it will help you too. Good luck, this too shall pass.

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J.P.

answers from Houston on

Hi J., I know where you are coming from, having 3 kids that all had different ideas of sleep! With my last one, and some people might disagree, she slept in her bouncy until she was 6mo old because she had reflux. I should have bought stock in Duracell! when we moved her to the crib we put 1 side on the top rung and the other side on 1 of the lower rungs so the mattress was tilted at the head. I hope this makes sense. I agree with one of the other moms to have him checked for reflux. I don't know if you are bottle feeding, but we gave the youngest one Enfamil AR (the one with rice in it for spit up). It seemed to help with the reflux. 1 more thing, I found at Target that to me was a miracle contraption. In the monitor section, it is a music player/nightlite, BUT it has an egg shaped part that you put under the matress and when it goes off (either by the baby's cry or you set the timer) it will vibrate the crib! It worked wonders for my DD who had gotten used to the bouncy. I hope this helps and you all get some much deserved rest!

1 mom found this helpful
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L.M.

answers from Houston on

Have you tried elevating the end of his crib that his head is on? When my son was a baby, I had read somewhere to do this so it helps them breathe if congested. My husband built what looked like a big wedge and we placed it under one end of his bed. It doesn't have to be a great incline, just a few inches.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.M.

answers from Austin on

First thing I would try: roll up a beach towel and put it under one end of the crib matress, just for a little bit of an incline. We've dealt with allergy congestion with the first one, reflux with the current baby, and this has helped for both.

Second, what "cry-it-out method" did you use? I've read a lot of people just leaving their babies to cry, but that's a terrible way to do it. I liked Ferber's method (Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems), and it worked wonderfully for our now 3-year-old. It's going to get critical in a little while, when your munchkin outgrows his swing! Put your little one to bed, then visit him in 5 minutes. Pat his back, squeeze his hand, kiss him, whatever. Then leave, and visit him 7 minutes after that. Then 9 minutes. We topped out at 9, and continued to visit our daughter every 9 minutes until she fell asleep. (You can go up to 11 if you really want to, I suppose.) It took 3 days. The trick is, you need a routine, and you need the SAME routine for bedtime and naptime. Also, try the visiting method every time he wakes at night.

Yes, your routine may have you staying up late. The thing is to teach him to self-soothe (which it sounds like you already know - unfortunately, he is not self-soothing now - the swing is doing it for him.) Once he is self-soothing, you can move back his sleeping time gradually. For example, if you are starting his routine at 9pm now, once he's got it, you can start at 8:45, then after 3 days, 8:30, then 8. Also, use a simple routine. Ours: story, brush teeth, turn off light (held up, so she can do it herself), hug, tuck-in.

Whatever method you go with, STICK WITH IT! Again, it should take only 3 days, and it'll be a hard 3 days, but it'll be worth it in the end.

1 mom found this helpful
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V.K.

answers from San Antonio on

Hello, I feel for you because I went through a similar problem. I was strongly against the cry it out method too. Then my best friend recommended a book called Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. He is a true sleep doctor and explains how sleep works for babies. More importantly, he gives specific advice. Now, one of the techniques he mentions is cry it out, but you don't have to go that route! I didn't, but I did use the other techniques and tips. I know you're tired and don't have time to read, but if you just make time it will make a huge difference. It is a quick read, and is organized into chapters for specific age groups. To give you an idea of the results, my daughter almost immediately started sleeping through the night after we started using the tips - I'm talking 12 hours straight! And she still does so, along with 2 decent naps every day. Her mood is 100% better and I think she is learning better now that she is rested. The tips that made the biggest difference for me: the author says that babies need sleep after being awake for only 1-2 hours at a time (during the day). He gives a list of cues that you can look for to see if your son is sleepy, that also helps de-mystify. But at first I mainly watched the clock. Most babies need sleep at about 9 am, 1 pm, and sometimes a third nap at 4 or 5 pm. Anyway... at first, you will have to soothe your son before attempting his naps 2-3 times per day. After he gets more sleep during the day, he will naturally sleep more at night. It is a vicious cycle now, because the less sleep he gets, the more likely he will get wired up and upset, which makes it harder to settle down and get good sleep. Also, the author says that a swing is not a good place for sleep, because it is not deep sleep. He said it's ok to soothe them in a swing though. Seriously, if you took time to read this post then you should read a few chapters of this book. They probably have it at your local library. Best of luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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A.M.

answers from El Paso on

Hi! I'm trying to get my little one out of the swing too... But, his sleeping has greatly improved with the help of Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution book. You can tailor make your own plan. It's a process, but it helps. Best trick for us is catching him right as he's waking from a mini nap and giving his swing a little push. He goes right back to sleep if we catch him in time and has recently starting putting himself back to sleep on his own! Good luck!!

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S.O.

answers from San Antonio on

As having been a tired mom myself, I would just let him sleep in the swing at night. Put him in crib for naps. Eventually, it will happen. But, that's just me.

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L.T.

answers from Longview on

My sister has this problem with her child as well. The only way she found to get her to sleep, when she was little like that, was in the swing or the car seat, my niece refused any other way and for the car seat needed to be driven around for a little while to get to sleep. it worked out fine for her, my niece is now 3 and has suffered no harm from sleeping in the swing instead of a bed. if thats what he wants then i would just let him. i think it would be better that way then him sleeping with you all the time, at least this way he would be getting to sleep by himself. i would let him nap in the swing as well, see if that works. he really needs to sleep more than he is, try to get him in the swing before he gets real cranky, crankiness means overtired most of the time and it's hard to get to sleep when that happens. also it sounds like it could be acid reflux, if he needs to have his head up to sleep, that's a sign. i would get that checked out just to be sure. best of luck.

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C.W.

answers from Waco on

Hi J.,
What a load you have to carry. First, if at all possible I would suspend keeping the other children until you have gotten your household back in order. There is something that is really bothering your newest one. Getting your rest is the most important thing so try an eliminate things that take your time away from your child at this point. It may be that your little one senses the activitiy around the house and this may be troublesome.
About the congestion- sounds like could be allergies- most of the time when little babies develop these symptoms it falls back to residue left in the clothing or bed lines from detergents or other laundry aids. Not saying this is the cause, but something to consider. 5 mo old child on steriods is a little young- I would try riding my house of any cleaning items containing bleach or other harmful ingredients. PM me and I will send you to a website that can give you some more information. Not trying to sell you anything, but from experience in my family, what I have discovered.
good luck and blessings

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S.F.

answers from Austin on

This may or may not have anything to do with the sleeping issue, but I have read in several sources that babies should not eat solid foods until they are at least 6 months old. I don't know about formula, but breastmilk has an incredible amount of calories in it that you will not be able to give your son in cereal and/or bananas and applesauce, so make sure that the cereal is just a dessert type meal if your pediatrician has okayed eating solids this soon. Otherwise, he might not be getting enough calories during the day.

Regarding his need for you to hold him...Do you think this could be related to being so sick recently? It could be that he is still not feeling well and just needing some reassurance if sleeping caused him to have breathing difficulties. Imagine not being able to breathe and not understanding why. This could be very frightening to an infant. I understand your hectic schedule, believe me, but your little guy doesn't understand that you have other children. He is the baby, though, as your other children all appear to be school-aged and capable of more independence from you. It could also be that he is just wanting some private time and attention with you separate from the other infants that you keep. Maybe once he is feeling better and reassured by your holding him, he will get back to being his ole self again.

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