5 1/2 Year Old Waking up at Night

You can't efficiently stop this behavior until you know what is causing it, talk with her, find the problem, then get back to us ;). A five year old can discuss these things. If it's hard for her to open up why, get her in a very happy comfortable place, that's when things start spilling out of their mouths.

I have a bit of a different approach than your other responders. Both of my kids went through this lovely "phase" each at around 4 years old and it is totally exhausting. I was so tired from them waking me up that I finally gave up...I would absolutely NOT permit them to sleep in my bed, so I put a pillow and blanket on the floor next to my bed and if they got up, they were allowed to sleep there as long as they did not wake me or make any noise. If they were interrupting my sleep they had to go back to their room, a rule I stuck to. It lasted a couple of months with each of them and then I think they finally decided their bed was a lot more comfortable than sleeping on the floor and all of a sudden it just stopped. Best of luck to your friend!

Hi L.,

Sorry your friend is having a rough time. A sticker chart is meant for toddlers, not school aged kids. A 5 year old can clearly understand rules and consequences. She can be told that the rule is that she is to stay in her bed and may not come out. If punishment has not worked, then I would hate to do it, but lock her in the room until the parents are ready to go to bed. She is old enough to understand if she is told ahead of time that if she gets out, she will be locked in. I don't love the idea of doing this to a child, but if she's just getting out because she feels like not being in bed, and the family doesn't want to cosleep/family bed, then the issue needs to be treated like any other disciplinary issue where the child is being defiant.

Nicole M. sounds like she has it right....I found with my kids, it became a habit and testing their "boundaries". Set the ground rules and stick with it....Trust me, this is the HARD part but, it pays off!
Good luck!

Hi L.
I was in a similar situation.
Not only were the twins waking at night, but coming into our room, and I was also 40 when they were born. Yes I can relate on many issues. I even got to the point where I was willing to pay them to stay in their room.
Here's our story:
The girls were born when I was 40, and our boys were 19 & 14. They were lovely girls but they didn't sleep. Well, I think the younger one would have if her sister had left her alone, but that didn't happen. I thought for a while that Sarah was sleep walking so I simply stayed up to see if I could head her back to bed. Nope.
I went to bed early to see if I would wake up easier. Nope
The first girl came into our bed and we were so tired we hardly noticed, it was when the second one came in that everyone had to adjust. I was too tired to get up and put them back, and so was my husband. They were about 7years old when we tried stars, rewards, and even paying them to stay in their room. Nope.
Finally about 9 years they just stopped coming in.
It would have been easier let it be and stop fighting the situation. They remember none of it, and get upset if I mention it. In 8th grade Sarah was in the hospital and they did say she was sleep walking, and I was right to decide to do nothing because nothing would work.
Today they are 18 and heading off to college.
God bless you
K.
SAHM of 4 great people. Married 38 years. Homeschooled the girls.
first time grandma--grandson 3 weeks old today

I would suggest changing the room around,

the Doorway should not be visible
and the closet should be blocked

Go around the room and clean it up ,

Pay special attention to UNDER the bed,

the 5 year old should be helping to clean, and arrange the room,

Buy a couple lavender scented night light plug in's.
plug them in the hallway and the bathroom.

and purchase a dream catcher, you could even make one.

remind her to remove her socks at night before bed,

and Absolutely NO, NO caffiene.

These may sound absurd however, it works LOL

My oldest son was scared of the dark,

So I went about trying to fix things,
each thing works for diffrent reasons

I heard from another mother that wearing socks at night causes bad dreams, ( I thought what kinda of craziness is that LOl but heck it was free so i tried it,)

I told him if he removed his socks no more night mares,
and it worked,

then a while passed, and i introduced the dream catcher and read him the story about them.
( i am sure you can find one on line)

Moving the bed around helps because they can't see whats down the hall when they awaken, they see whatever is on the wall
( just make sure its something comforting)

the lavender is relaxing and the light removes shadows.

Cleaning the room together, allows her to see whats in the room, and the there is no way for a moster or scarey person to get in.

Blocking the closet --blocks out monsters,

last things is one evening before bed, and after it gets dark , go in her room and listen to the sounds, and discuss them, look at shadows an talk about them,

turn the light on and off till she gets it.

If its something outside , help her understand.

NOw this is not to say she will never do it again,
BUT it certainly helps to have created an enviornment of safety, security, and comfort.

you could also, play a radio with soft classical music WHILE she sleeps. and leave it on,

Hope these ideas help.

Good luck

M
Mother of 3

My oldest dtr went through this at the same age, it turned out it was related to anxiety of kindergarten. I finally just had to tell her that she could NOT wake me at night unless she was throwing up, bleeding, etc. That she could turn her pillow over to change the "dream channel" if she had a bad dream. Then if she came downstairs to my bed room I would firmly tell her go back to bed and shut the door on her. It sounded mean, but I was tired after doing this for 3 months. Within a week, it was over. Good Luck!

Anyone here seen Supernanny? She would say that your friend's daughter has trained her parents to sleep with her after three wake ups. They need to turn it around. Speaking from some behavioral background, consistency is key here. They need to continue bringing her back to her room until she stays there. Typically, you would do the following. The first time she wakes you, you tell her that it is bedtime and she needs to stay in bed. Then you calmly take her back to her room and put her in her bed. No extra fussing, stories etc. Plain and simple. The next time, same deal. After that, no words, just CALMLY bring her back to her bed. Ignore anything she says any negotiations, screaming, crying, requests for water, etc. Now here is the key, you cannot accidentally fall asleep next time, and you cant give in. If it takes 25 walks back to her bedroom in a night, that's how long it takes and that's how many times you need to calmly and silently get her back in her bed (NO EMOTION, no matter how frustrated and tired you are). Kids want first, to get what they want, and next, any attention whatsoever - good or bad. The spark of hope is that it rarely takes more than a couple of nights of this routine to break the habit. If you give in, just once though, the child will realize that if they persist (or escalate - get louder, more winey, etc) then they will get their way. Once they realize that, they'll keep at it until they break you down, because they know they can break you. So, you have to be consistent, don't give up, even if it takes all night.

Could she be sleep walking? If that's the case then taking things away and rewards aren't going to make a difference.