4.5 Yo Having Potty Issues Now That New Sister Is Here - HELP!

Hi Erin,

My daughter did the same thing at 3 when her life changed drastically...she came home from visiting Grandma and we now lived in new place. They told me it was normal then and I'll tell you it's normal now ;).

So what did I do? I went out and bought pull-ups so that she wouldn't be embarrased when it happened and for us it stopped as suddenly as it started. I didn't yell at her or tell her she was a bad girl, or tell her she needed to use the pot/toilet. I simply allowed her to adjust and warned the daycare providers that she was having an adjustment issue. Something about having wet peepee and booboo on her butt caused her to snap out of it pretty quickly, i think, but without the embarrassment which can make it worse ;). We also normalized her routine as soon as possible. I would suggest that she go to the bathroom so that she would not have the accidents. Don't be embarrassed you're not alone. Don't feel like you have to potty train her again, you don't. She will come around in time so long as you include her and subdue whatever fears she might be having. And unfortunately, she's probably not going to tell you what those fears are.

Good Luck!

My daughter had about a 3-4 week time when she suddenly started having accidents for no reason. I first made sure there was no medical reason for this, such as a UTI. Since there wasn't the doctor suggested I ignore it and NOT to have a power struggle with her. Easier said then done. At the end of the third week, I finally told her that if she doesn't want to use the potty anymore that was fine, but I would have to put diapers on her. She yelled and screemed and said she wasn't a baby, and I said ok, but if you pee your pants again mommy will have to put diapers on you, and she said ok. And that was it. No more accidents. I still don't know why she was doing it. I asked what was wrong, if she was sad or if someone was being mean to her, I also gave her more attention, but nothing seemed to help. You might wan't to try setting up special big girl time, where you spend 30 minutes with just your daughter (no baby interruptions). Just making sure that she knows she is still special to you might be all she needs.

Good Luck
E.

My son was 4.5 when my new baby was born. He went through the same thing. He would pee on his floor, the bed, the baby's bedroom floor. It was miserable. It started when she was about 2 mths & lasted 3-4 weeks. I tried to give him lots of extra attention. I talked to him to try to see how he was feeling. I don't know what worked, but it just stopped one day. Good luck. Hopefully, it won't last long.

These are great suggestions! I would just add that if you try to make her as involved in "helping" as you can, it may help speed up the process of getting past this. She's plenty old to fetch diapers and wipes, hold a bottle, even "help" burp baby and help bathe baby. She's also still little enough to share a lap when feeding baby or snuggleing with baby. Even helping mom with household chores like sorting laundry and making dinner...as in "Mommy needs lots of help now that the baby is here and YOU'RE my big helper! Just you and me making dinner..." etc. It really goes a long way in making them feel inportant and not left out or pushed aside.

Congrats on your new little one!

My son was 2.5 yrs old when his younger sister was born. We were in the middle of potty training so everything pretty much went out the window. I found it easier to try and make a schedule for him, per se. I tried to keep track of when he would pee or ask him to use (or if he had to use) the potty at certain times. Eventually, he got the idea. One important thing: ALWAYS HAVE THEM USE THE POTTY BEFORE YOU SIT DOWN TO NURSE/FEED THE BABY. That will save you from the stress of a crying (wet) toddler and you having to stop feeding the baby, which then causes the baby to start crying....get the picture? It happened to me twice. Not a pretty scene!

Good Luck!
M.

Hi Erin! I am a Pre-Kindergarten teacher and this is VERY common for children to regress back to 'accidents'. You absolutely should play it down! When she has an accident say almost nothing at all...if she says "mommy i had an accident" respond in a calm non-chalant way saying "you will have to change then" give her clothes and have her change clothes herself, and put her soiled clothes in the hamper. A few times of this and she will see she isn't going to get attention from this...
I know you know this, but just make sure you have a specific time everyday for her. Mayve make a schedule for her with pictures of your day...breakfast, preschool, lunch, nap, mommy/me time...whatever your day is like...and then she will know and look forward to everyday after lunch she will have special time with you(maybe while baby naps or daddy gives baby a bath etc)
I hope this helps! :)
K.