40Th Birthday Gift - New York,NY

Updated on August 01, 2016
K.M. asks from Newburgh, NY
16 answers

My husband is turning 40 soon. I am at a total loss as to what to give him. I wanted to do a trip, but he doesn't. I kind of want something special/unique/memorable because it's his 40th.

I've asked him...he says he has everything he wants...just wants a nice dinner.

Any ideas?

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

It sounds like his 40th birthday is a bigger deal for you than it is for him.
Follow his lead on this and keep it low key.
Maybe a nice Bed and Breakfast and a romantic weekend is his idea of a great birthday.

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❤.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I would listen to him and not plan any type of extravagant thing like a party or trip. Just make him a nice dinner at home with all of his favorite foods, fave beverage and the dessert of his choice. Maybe write 40 reasons why you love him so much. Maybe that week, do all of his normal chores the he take care of for him.

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L..

answers from Seattle on

Do the nice dinner! Does he like wine? Maybe you could look for a vintage wine from the year he was born?

One thing we did when our kids were born is save the front page of the main newspapers we read. How about something like that for him?

Good luck!

4 moms found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

I would do what he wants!!! He wants a nice dinner. Go out to a very nice favorite place or cook on your own!

He told you what he wants Already. If he does not like surprises don't do it. It's about him.... Keep that in mind!!!

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M.G.

answers from Portland on

I'd do the dinner if that's what he wants. You can always get him a gift he'd appreciate. Instead of spending money on a trip, is there a large ticket item (kayak, bike, etc.) he's been eyeing but hasn't felt he should buy? I'd treat him. Surprise him.

I make video DVDs for loved ones for milestone birthdays. Pictures and videos - messages from family and friends - you put it all together in a video, set to songs they enjoy. Funny captions. Lots of ridiculous photos.

My husband told me it was the best gift ever - and the kids loved seeing it too.

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T.H.

answers from Philadelphia on

KM, give your hubby that dinner he's asking for :-) That's what HE wants, right? You can go a little further to see what specifically he'd like to have for dinner. Add a bottle of champagne or wine, and a very delicious dessert too.

I also echo the B&B idea. That's very romantic.

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D.B.

answers from Boston on

I say to do what he wants. Maybe he doesn't want the fuss, maybe he doesn't want to spend the money?

If you really want to give him a keepsake, why not write up 40 great things you love about him, or 40 memories, or something along those lines. You can put it in a card, or you can even make a book with photos and your own layout. We did one for a relative's 95th birthday, and included different sections by each member of the family with photos of her with each of us. We had sections for our individual memories, plus one section for shared memories together. We just numbered everything 1 through 95, and you could do 1-40. It's super easy on line using one of their templates. (We used Apple.) Ours has a book jacket and is hardcover. You can choose any number of pages you want, or just see how it lays out.

You could make it all from you, but if you have kids, you can ask them to write something down too. It would be cute no matter how silly their words are.

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M.S.

answers from Washington DC on

We did a dinner on a private terrace at a nice golf course with both sides of the family. Prior to that a handful of people golfed with the birthday boy. It was fun! We brought our own cake and music and the restaurant printed up a small limited menu of my choice.

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B.P.

answers from Chicago on

What we do: The weekend of the person's b-day, they get to chose everything that is done that weekend: where to eat, what, what to do. We found that with having a family there are so many times you have to compromise to keep everyone happy, that just having one of those self-indulgent weekends never happens. For my weekend, I had DH and DS go clothes shopping with me, furniture browsing and we ate Indian all weekend. For DH's weekend, we all had to go hiking through fairly rigorous terrain. We call it "Wheel of Fortune Weekend."

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S.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Rent a boat and take him fishing for the day. Take him to a spa for a couples massage. Take him to a sporting event or a concert. Go camping, alone with no kids.

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Sounds like a man! That's sweet that he says he has everything he wants, how lucky for him, and you :-)
After we had been married for about ten years or so my (now ex) husband and I decided we didn't really want or need more "stuff" so we focused on experiences instead. Sometimes we went on an overnight or weekend, but we also did simple but memorable evenings or days out. What about tickets to a concert, show or professional sports event? Playing pool at a nice brew pub? Packing a picnic and taking a drive or a hike somewhere beautiful? Really whatever it is that you guys like to do together that maybe you don't get to do often because of kids and work and chores.

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O.H.

answers from Phoenix on

When my husband turned 40 I had a '70's themed party for him since he was born in 1973. We all dressed in costume and I even got him a black afro with a crazy disco shirt. I bought a few decorations from OrientalTrading.com. I Tie-Dyed white table clothes to cover all the tables and bought peace necklace's for everyone and tie-dye bandanas for the few that didn't dress up. I found some inexpensive catering for the food that turned out really good and played disco music in the background. That was a few years ago and it still comes up in conversation. Everyone had a fun time.

When our anniversary or one of our birthdays rolls around and we don't want "anything" as a gift, we will go away overnight somewhere new. Just pick a B&B within driving distance and have an adventure. Good luck.

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B.F.

answers from San Francisco on

Take the children to relatives for a day or two and make reservations for two at a local hotel. Enjoy yourselves but let him in on the plans in advance and don't take no for answer.

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C.N.

answers from Philadelphia on

I think in general you should listen when he has told you what he wants (or doesn't want).

If it's really important to you to commemorate it in some way, you can do something small but meaningful--a set of coins for the year he was born, or a newspaper or magazine from that day or week or month. Music from the band whose song was #1. 40 postcards from places you've gone together or that are meaningful to his life. A vintage toy that relates to a current hobby. Ebay makes all that kind of stuff much easier. 40 small gifts, even dollar store things, to be opened one a day leading up to his birthday (or if it's too late for that, on the days after).

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

It's your husband's birthday. Do what he wants to do to celebrate. Perhaps give him a piece of jewelry or something recognizing his interests. Have it engraved with a sentiment that shows your love.

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J.K.

answers from Wausau on

Ignore the advice to make bigger plans and not let your husband say No. It is important that you listen to the words he is telling you instead of trying to make his birthday into something that you think he should want.

When you turn 40, you can make whatever grand plan you want, and I would expect him to go along with it cheerfully.

It's hard to come up with a specific gift idea when I don't know your husband's interest or hobbies. You want to get something meaningful to him. Focus on what he likes to do in his free time, then find a way to accommodate it.

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