4 Yr Old Won't Eat Breakfast

Updated on December 17, 2009
A.C. asks from Sterling Heights, MI
23 answers

My 4 yr. old daughter will not eat breakfast, and I can't decide what to do about it. It's not that she is picky (I offer her a huge variety), she just doesn't want to eat. She won't eat right after waking up, and she won't eat if I let her wait half an hour after waking up either. She does get hungry MUCH later in the morning (like 10:00), but then I tell her she should have had breakfast and will have to wait until lunch. I feel like she should be in the habit of eating in the morning for when she starts school. It's not like she'll be able to eat breakfast at 10:00 then. (Besides that, she needs to eat even at this age before church, gymnastics, library days, etc.)

Am I doing the right thing by refusing to let her eat "breakfast" at 10:00 (she gets up at 7:30) or should I let her eat it whenever she wants to and worry about school days when they come? (She does eat lunch and dinner on a pretty set schedule).

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So What Happened?

Ha ha. I decided to take the majority of your advice and let her skip breakfast this morning (and let her eat it later when she says she is hungry). She woke up saying, "I'm hungry. I want to eat right now!" Go figure. She had yogurt AND baked oatmeal. They do keep us on our toes!

Featured Answers

B.A.

answers from Saginaw on

My 4 year old who started preschool this past fall won't eat breakfast at home until really late and also won't eat before school on most days. I don't worry about it, because they have breakfast later on at school. I pack her breakfast everyday because she doesn't want the hot breakfast. Sometimes she barely eats half of what I pack. I don't worry about it much. Hasn't seemed to cause any problems for her. I remember as a child I was never a breakfast eater, in fact when I ate too early it would make my stomach sick.

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S.F.

answers from Detroit on

My daughter is the same way. I worried and did the same as you. then I realized they get a snack at school at 10am. That usually tides her over until lunch. I found carnation instant breakfast at costco. It is like chocolate milk and she will drink that if she won't eat.

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D.S.

answers from Grand Rapids on

A.; when she wakes up , feed her breakfast, dont turn on the tv, dont get out the toys, have her use the restroom, brush her teeth, and wash her face, and then come to table and eat, set breakfast for her, and sit with her and eat together, and talk to her about the day , and if she dont eat while doing that, then when you are done eating, let her get down but then dont feed her till lunch, and be consistant, she will do it, and she will get used to doing it, the act of doing things before hand, will get her a bit hungry, if she gets up and plays first, then of course she dont want to eat, she needs a morning routine just like you have a bedtime routine for getting to sleep, have a good day and enjoy life. D. s

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H.S.

answers from Detroit on

You can offer her the food but you can't force her to eat it. If she isn't hungry, she isn't going to eat and if you force her, then she could get confused when she gets older; she may feel the need to eat everything you give her which could lead her to being overweight when she gets older. What I would do is offer her things that won't spoil if she does not eat it right away. My kids (my son is four and my daughter is 2.5) wake up between 6:30-7:30 and I'm so not ready to get up then (I'm taking classes at EMU so the rope has been stretched very thin so to speak) I give them each a large bowl of dry honey nut cheerios and a granola bar. They eat the granola bar relatively quickly and then munch on the cheerios while watching PBS Kids Sprout (if you live in Ann Arbor and have comcast it's channel 128) or regular PBS or sometimes I put in a Scooby Doo movie and come lay on the couch until it is time to start getting ready for daycare.

As for her being hungry around 10 in the morning, I would give her something to eat, not a lot as lunch is usually given between 12-12:30, but maybe some fruit, a few apple slices or a banana. Good luck!

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J.J.

answers from Grand Rapids on

We got through this phase, at the advice of our pediatrician, by giving our daughter Carnation Instant Breakfast. She got a lot of protein and nutrients that way, since she was always willing to drink milk, and we were able to stop worrying so much.

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K.M.

answers from Detroit on

I am not saying your wrong but I strongly feel kids will eat when there hunry and not when there not. By you not letting her eat that i am not sure is good thing. I would let her I have two children who don't eat till 10 breakfast one is 7 he has always been like that but when he started school he learned that if you don't eat before school you don't feel good by lunch so he eats monday through friday in the morning before school and it has to be waffles with syrup and milk. My other daughter she is in preschool and she still to this day don't ask for anything till 10 sometimes she will eat before but mostly around 10. I never deni them. I have 4 with one on the way the little one who is 2 she does the same thing. Now my preschooler who is in speech therapy school she had school last year in themorning and her breakfast was snack at school and than she came home for lunch and this year she has school in the afternoon so it doesn't matter. But I would let her eat when shes ready to. when they get into school they learn they need to eat in the morning. They will eat lunch following right after too.

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A.S.

answers from Detroit on

Hi A. - I know it's frustrating that your daughter won't eat breakfast - I have three children, two are great breakfast eaters and one is not. However, you simply cannot refuse to give her food at 10am - she is way too young and needs nourishment. Also, when she is at school, that is about the time she will have a snack anyway - my little one is in first grade and in K and 1st he always has a snack. You'll just have to make your snack for her particularly nutritious and explain to the teacher that she won't eat breakfast so the teacher gives he adequate time to eat. My advice - I've been a mom for 15 years - is not to have strict rules unless they're really important - you'll have a much happier family. So, give her a bowl of cereal, toast, waffles, whatever she wants at 10am - and be happy that she's eating - Alison

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J.K.

answers from Detroit on

My 4 year old is not usually very hungry in the morning either. I always give him a cup of chocolate milk, but that's often all he has. At pre-school thye have a snack around 10 and we do the same on days he's home. I wouldn't let it bother you.

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A.H.

answers from Detroit on

Hi A.
Mine was the same way, and grew out of it. She really wanted to go to school. I told her she had to eat before she went. I started asking if she wanted tea with me. I give her mullin to prevent congestion in the winter. Then toast around 10. I would say to her, toast can make you thirsty. And make a drinkable yogurt adding, water, frozen berries, handfull spinach or kale, and chocolate brown rice protein powder (Nutrabiotic brand it the smoothest belending one I've tried yet). I just shifted my thinking to something healthy thats drinkable and count it as a meal.
Best of luck! A. H

Not so green smoothie
1/2 washed organic spinach or 2 leaves of kale (it's good to switch up your greens)
1 c water blend smooth
add 1/2 a banana
add more water as needed
1/2 c frozen blueberries
10 frozen strawberries
1/2 c yogurt
2 servings chocolate brown rice protein powder (I like nutrabiotic brand it blends smoother than anything else I've used. And it's non gmo.)

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S.S.

answers from Detroit on

Actually, at 10:00 when she starts school, she will probably be having a snack. Most kids are hungry at that time. I'd have to say that while breakfast is the most important meal of the day, don't discourage her from listening to her body. She will not starve herself. Too many people eat to eat rather than eating when their bodies need it. That is why we face an obesity and diabetes crisis!

Good luck!

S.

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C.E.

answers from Detroit on

If she's truly not hungry, you shouldn't force her to eat. My daughter and I aren't ones to eat immediately upon waking. It's just not in our nature. For us, it takes a good hour if not 2 before our bodies tell us it's time to take something in.
Listen to her body...for now, let her have breakfast when she's ready for it. If she eats at "regular" time for lunch and dinnner - where's the harm?

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M.F.

answers from Detroit on

I would probably do the same thing as you. In fact I did. My daughter would never eat lunch for some reason. Then she would want something an hour before dinner. I would tell her no because then she wouldn't eat her dinner. However, when she does start school they generally will have a small snack mid-morning. At least my kids did when they started.

Maybe you could just let her have something small instead of an actual breakfast. Maybe half of a sandwich, or some goldfish, or cheese and crackers.

I don't like to eat breakfast either, even as a kid. I think it's just the way she's wired. I usually don't eat until 10 or 11...even when I feel like I'm starving. I'm just weird I suppose =)

Good Luck! And don't stress =)

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C.B.

answers from Detroit on

Try any kind of tactic that works. Blackmail, coercion, whatever. See how she likes gymnastics. See how she feels about the prospect of going to school. Etc. If she's excited about it, then lay down the law. "Well if you want to go to (gymnastics, school, whatever), you'll have to learn to eat breakfast when you get up". Conclude with "or else no dice", or "the school bus won't wait for you if you don't eat breakfast at a good time".
Kids will not reach their mental potential without starting the day on a good breakfast. That's been shown. They do better if they have some nourishment that gets their physical and mental capacities moving.
Plus, you're the mom, you're in charge. Let her call the shots and you're setting yourself up for trouble the older she gets. Time to implement discipline now. As a Christian mom you should know the 'spare the rod and spoil the child' concept. She needs routine, not a 'I can do whatever I want' development.

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M.K.

answers from Chicago on

I think it is wonderful to teach your child to eat only when she is hungry. Most children get a mid-morning snack around 10am anyway, so I would let her wait to have her breakfast until then. She probably won't want a huge lunch. However, dietitians everywhere promote that a healthy diet consists of 5-6 small meals instead of 3 big meals.

But you are right -- when she starts school, she won't be able to eat at 10am. However, by the time she goes to school, she'll have changed again and this probably won't be an issue. It's impossible to force a child to eat -- and I always feat that it can create much bigger eating issues down the road.

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S.S.

answers from Santa Barbara on

A.-
I'm the same way! I munch on a muffin with my coffee from 8:30 or 9:00 until about 10:30. I have always been this way. The thought of breakfast when I wake up...bleah! My son is also this way. How we've reconciled the school issue is that he has a small granola or power bar before school. Most schools offer a snack time around 10 for at least the lower graders (K-3). I would pack a separate snack. Usually cheese or yogurt, few berries/grapes/apple slices/small orange and some crackers/veggie stix. This would tide him over until the gigantor lunch I sent. I found that because he did not eat (and still doesn't) much in the AM, the school lunches did not give him enough food to power him into the afternoon, which includes sports practices, lessons, etc.

You might also want to see if she makes the b'fast herself whether she's more willing to eat it.

I wouldn't worry too much. It'll figure itself out.
S.

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A.H.

answers from Detroit on

My son to this day is what I call a 'grazer'. He is not big into breakfast, but will also get hungry at 10- 10:30am.

I give him two choices of a breakfast, but I do notice that after just waking up, he is not really hungry and it takes nearly 35 minutes for a bowl of cereal or a piece of toast.

However, I do not eat breakfast with him or very often. This may be why he does this. He is modeling himself after what he sees in the home. Do you eat breakfast in the morning? (Not many folks do...and I realize the importance of it and when I am really hungry - I will eat.).

Kids will eat when they are hungry and the best practice to have IS to offer breakfast, snack, lunch, snack and then dinner (and possibly a last snack before bed if you eat rather early). This is the best for any body's metabolism. And when I say 'snack' I am referring to healthy choices.

I make sure he has water available at all times as when the body is 'hungry', that is typically a signal that the body needs water as well.

But he does eat... if it's not first thing upon rising, he's usually hungry within the hour and a half. If he doesn't eat much at breakfast, the snack is smaller and of my choosing as he wants something I normally would not give him (sweets).

As for school, it's still a good idea to provide and encourage breakfast time (and eat with her). Even in Kindergarten, they still offer snack. She'll change habits by the time this is no longer allowed (by first grade).

S.S.

answers from Detroit on

I have struggled with this for a long time too. I have resolved (after offering many different things including chicken nuggets, and many stressful mornings) that he just isn't a morning eater. So we have a snack around 10 or 10:30 (usually fruit or goldfish). Then he eats a good lunch at 11:30 or 12.

If you feel like you have tried, let it rest. Each body is built differently, go with it. I was really bothered by the fact that he wouldn't eat for a long time. I am at much more peace just believing that that is the way he is. We do we feel like we need to conform to what everyone else does? Some things we just don't have control over as much as we would like to. Enjoy your morning of not having to prepare food, and most of all enjoy your child.

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S.Y.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Some people just can't eat first thing in the morning. I was always that way until I had babies. Have you tried making something like a meal shake (you can buy powder that mixes in with milk) or something else that has nutrients in it? I always found it easier for me to get something in if I didn't have to chew it. If that doesn't work, I would say let her have something (nothing big) at 10 and then do your normal routine the rest of the day. You can't just let her go hungry until lunchtime, that could actually be more harmful for her growing body.

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L.B.

answers from Stationed Overseas on

I don't eat right away either, makes me sick if I do. I usually wait a couple hours after I get up before I eat anything. I wouldn't force her to eat breakfast if she doesn't want it. It could be that, like me, food doesn't feel very good in the tummy first thing. Give her a snack around 10 to keep her going till lunch and don't worry about it.

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S.D.

answers from Detroit on

My son had this problem too and it has gotten better, but with much experimentation! This is what has worked:

1) Waiting when he gets up in the morning. You said that didn't work, but try a bit longer. My son gets up at 730 am too and I find he eats much more if I wait til 830 am, so an hour. Also in that hour do physical things so she can get hungry, let her run around etc.

2) Serving him less at dinner the night before. My husband works late hours and so we eat dinner at 630 pm. It never occurred to me that could be affecting him until I thought you know for a little kid that IS really late. I mean, he goes to bed at 7 right after dinner so he doesn't even get to run off what he ate. I don't have the option of feeding him earlier, so I just feed him less and then he is more hungry in the morning.

3)Feeding him what he likes, which for him is non-breakfast foods. He just seems to not like cereal and oatmeal! So maybe that is your daughter's issue too. I find he eats more if I give him eggs and sausage, protein-based things. And even lunch items; there is nothing wrong with giving a kid p&j for bkfast, who cares! I swear that kid wakes up every morning asking for soup, he is so weird. But anyway, our bodies crave what we need...so I go with that.

4) Involving him in the cooking. Here put this waffle in the toaster, stir these eggs. That helps with eating at any time of day actually.

5) Eating with them, the same thing as them.

Hope I can be of some help!

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L.A.

answers from Detroit on

I would not worry too much about it, until she starts school, and will need breakfast. Some people cannot eat first thing in the morning (I am one of them) and she will eat when she gets hungry. It is best not to start food battles this early. It will only lay grounwork for later problems.

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C.M.

answers from Detroit on

For whatever reason, some people just aren't hungry in the morning...I can't relate to that! One thing for sure is that you don't want to turn it into a power struggle. You might offer her something she really likes, even if it isn't "breakfast food". Some sort of milkshake with a banana in it (fun but with hidden goodness) french toast cut into a heart shape, a snack breakfast like raisins and cheerios in a paper cup. Make it fun and not a big deal, she'll get over it.

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S.R.

answers from Detroit on

Hi, I'm having the same problem with my 4 1/2 yr old son. I'm doing exactly what your doing. So in my opinion, your not doing any harm. But maybe talk to your pediatrician :)

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