4 Yr Old Keeps Saying She Can't Poop in the Potty!

Updated on August 24, 2009
N.D. asks from Glenview, IL
11 answers

my DD just turned 4 and has been peeing in the toilet with no problems. But when she tries to poop she says "I can't go!" as she sits and tries to go.

No constipation problems--she readily poops in the diaper if we put one on her.

We tried rewards, reading books on the potty, singing, Elmo goes potty DVD, all to no avail.

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C.J.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter did the nsame thing. Sometimes it just fear of the toliet. My daughter will be 5 in April and they do gro out of it. Just be longsuffering and it will pass. It's just a phase.

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C.P.

answers from Chicago on

We had the same issue with our DS. Same age, too. We told him when he turned 4 that they no longer made pull ups in his size. We took them away completely (even naps & bedtime) and within a day he was pooping on the potty all by himself, without us saying anything. At first he kept looking for pull ups (and even found a swimmy diaper in a drawer and pooped in that) but once they were no longer in the house, he pooped on the potty like a champ. Prior to going cold-turkey, we had tried EVERYTHING... rewards of all kinds, bribery, you name it... nothing worked. And that Elmo potty time is ridiculous because Elmo never actually sits on the potty! Cute movie, but not helpful at all for us.
At the age of 4, I'd say get rid of all diapers and pull ups.
We change a lot of bedding still, but it's worth the sacrifice to have him pooping on the potty.

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A.S.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter was the same way. It seemed like we had tried everything & nothing worked. Then I bought her a stuffed Dora the Explorer because she was a huge Dora fan at the time. I said Dora could sit with her on the potty when she tried to poop to give her courage. I said if she pooped she could keep Dora to play with. If not, Dora had to go up in the closet (where my daughter couldn't reach) until she needed to poop again and then Dora could sit with her to try again. It only took one time for Dora to go up in the closet & we never had a problem again. I really do think they start going on the potty when they are ready and/or you find the right thing to motivate them. I know that now it probably seems like she will never do it, but she will, on her own time. This too shall pass! Good Luck!!

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A.R.

answers from Peoria on

Sometimes I think it just takes them being ready.My daughter will be 4 in about a week and a half and just recently started going poop in the potty. I dont even know how it all worked out for us. I was in the hospital giving birth to our youngest and grandma was here watching the older two for us, and she decided to start pooping on the potty. We had a few rebellious moments when baby first came home, but since then she's been pooping on the potty like it's nothing. Every once in a while she would go in her pull up at nap time or bedtime, but no more pull ups at nap time now, and slowly moving towards bedtime. If her brothers poop in their diaper she says "pew, yuck and gross!" because thats what I told her when she was old enough to use the toliet. It's not as "gross" in the toliet. I feel your pain.. it's a long road, but there is an end eventually. My daughter was successfully peeing in the potty for about 9-10 omnths before she decided she was ready to poop in the toliet

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J.L.

answers from Chicago on

I would try putting a small plastic box under her feet so she help it out. She might not be getting enough leverage. That's what my pediatrician told me.

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T.L.

answers from Chicago on

i would make sure your child is eating enough fruits or vegetables at each meal and also giving a fish oil supplement will help immensely!!!

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J.R.

answers from Chicago on

My almost 5 year old grandson has had major poop problems all his life and has just recently started to poop on the potty. He would go off on his own to poop in a pull-up in private. For some reason he never felt secure sitting on the potty to poop. Make sure she fells secure with a child seat over the adult seat and since it takes longer to poop than pee make sure she has something to entertain herself while waiting.

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S.M.

answers from Chicago on

My friend had this problem with her son. He is 4 and until recently used a diaper for poop. I don't know if it will work for everyone -but she just wouldn't put a diaper on him. She kept a training potty in the bathroom as well as a kid seat on the toilet- that way he has options. At first, everytime she saw him going she put him on the toilet in his diaper-so he could learn to use the muscles while sitting. Then after a few days she took the diaper off and wouldn't put it back on. Then sHe gave him lots of fruit (no bananas or apples) and water. He finally went on the training potty. After that he started using the regular toilet with the kid seat. SHe had to get him out of diapers because his daycare wouldn't change his poop once he turned 4. So whenever he went the parents were called. Learning to poop on the toilet isn't easy- the kids have to be relaxed and they have to learn to use different muscles. Good luck!

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J.D.

answers from Chicago on

Hi N D my three and a half grandson was having the same problem up until a week ago and he started pooping in the potty. So give her a little more time. She has gotten over the first hurdle by peeing in the potty.

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K.M.

answers from Chicago on

Hi,
I have two boys, 9 and 6 years old. When I went to potty train my oldest, I had a party in the bathroom with treats and juice. We sang and read books. About 30 minutes into the fun, he got hysterical. He was crying for help. He had to go but couldn't do it on the potty. From then on, I let him poop in a diaper. He was potty trained and would just come up to me and ask for a diaper. When he was ready, he stopped. I think it took him 8 months from the time he was trained to pee in the toilet until he was complete potty trained. My second son did the same thing.

I don't know why but it's scary for some kids to poop in a toilet. One friend of mine, was very animate that her son get potty trained early. I witnessed her once changing his poopey diaper when he was 2 years old. She was very upset, yelling that she wouldn't have to clean up such a mess if he just went in the toilet. I know when he went into 1st grade, he was having problems going poop at all. He would hold it in for days and days. Then he would have accidents at school.

I know another family where both children have a chart for pooping. They are 4th and 6th graders. They only go a couple times a week and their mom has to make sure they go some weeks.

I am no expert but my instincts have always told me that when they are ready to go on the potty, they will. You don't want your child to have issues for the rest of their live. So I suggest don't force it.

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N.P.

answers from Chicago on

tell her there isn't a choice and she has to stay in the bathroom till she poops. She can do whatever she wants in the bathroom, but can not come out till poop is in the potty. One time of this and she'll be solved.

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