My daughter just turned four this summer. She is always complaining about having a wedgie. She pulls her pants down to her hips in her carseat. She will not wear underwear if she is wearing shorts or pants. Basically, she won't layer bottoms (she will wear underwear with a dress or skirt). At her checkup, the doctor basically told me to get tough. But, he doesn't live with the will of my little firecracker. She screams, cries, strips, won't leave the house. I have no problem using time outs, talking it out, making bribes, taking away privilages, I have done it all. She would rather stay home and miss out on life than have a wedgie. I would like to point out that she does not have any actual wedgies. There is nothing wrong with her clothing or anatomy. In addition, this issue is spreading to wearing socks with her shoes. All summer she has worn sandles or shoes with no socks. I noticed she started getting picky about her shoes not touching her baby toes. Ok, some of these cute shoes are not necessarily comfortable, so I let it slide. But now preschool will be starting, and she won't wear underwear or socks! She doesn't seem to have any other obsessive behaviors. Has anyone else dealt with this? What did you do?
FYI - When I was a kid, I remember being somewhat dramatic about my socks. If they were too big and buched inside my shoes, I would not wear them. But, it wasn't all socks all the time!
Why are underwear necessary? Why would a doctor care? Is she causing herself irritation or something? If so, just stop the denim and have her wear cool cotton shorts/pants, or dresses with something underneath since she will wear that.
As long as she is covered, when wearing dresses or skirts, I would let it go. She may change her mind once it's not a battle anymore. Save the battles for the big stuff, this is small.
Have you tried a different size, or style underwear?
I know that I HATE wearing any type of underwear besides bikinis. Anything else is simply uncomfortable for me. And if they are even slightly too small, they pinch... slightly too big, and they bunch. They have to fit JUST RIGHT! lol.
If you have to, you might also try buying her some skintight shorts to wear in place of underwear... Maybe they will be more comfortable for her.
I know I've mentioned it here before, but I don't like the texture of some meats. It just doesn't feel right in my mouth. Well, I also don't like the way underwear feel. I swear I always have a wedgie! Hubby tells me, baby, that's the way fit. They're not up your butt, you don't have a wedgie!
Well, to alleviate the madness, I just don't wear underwear (except when I'm wearing a skirt). Why does she *have* to wear underwear? Cause the doctor says so? Well why? Why does the doctor say she does?
I don't get anymore yeast infections than the next person. (I've had three my whole 33 years.) I don't get UTIs anymore than the average person. (I have kidney problems and am tested regularly for that sort of thing...only ever had five.)
So again, I ask why does she have to wear them?
ETA: I do wear sexy underwear when I want to feel sexy...but I usually wear a thong, so I know I have a wedgie then, lol!
Just wondering I had never ever heard of this until i started hearing and meeting Add kids, allergy kids that whole deal.
Where there a lot of people in the 50s that wore no undies??
I know some of those kids with sensory issues can be very very stubborn so i do believe you when you say you've tried everything, and i don't believe in spanking. but just staying home and playing and having a grand time is different then okyou don't wear undies you stay on your bed in your room, no toys no tv no mommy no nothing. scream your head off.
Personally, I don't get people saying why fight it? this would be a battle i would pick to fight because I can see it going and going ang going until everything is an irritant. some times you just got to suck itup.
I"ve love to hear how therapists help kids over come this. What's the cure?
My 5 y/o daughter is like that STILL, she started that same behavior at 4 and it's been a struggle. I'm sure that like me you've bought every kind of underwear available, in various sizes including boys briefs and it still a problem. After fighting EVERY day about it, I finally just gave in, somewhat, she agrees to wear underwear with dresses (dresses don't press against her which seems to makes it bearable). She also has to wear underwear if she is going to visit family or friends. At home, she's usually has shorts on, no undies. She's got the same issue about socks so in colder weather she wears fur-lined boots. Also she will wear pajamas or a nightgown right after her bath but takes it off sometime during the night. I pray this sensory issue will work itself out in the end but for now, this compromise seems to work and we're not fighting daily. Good luck and hang in there! You're not alone. :)
My four year old doesn't like to either. I only make her wear them if she's in a dress or skirt or completely naked. It's not always good to have underwear on anyway! It helps if she has some that she likes, maybe helped pick out. Cute prints, etc. but not a battle worth picking in my opinion.
Just my opinion, if she doesn't want to wear underwear, just let her go. I am assuming you let her go to the store & pick out some kind she likes. My daughter used to hate them too. I like the idea of the spandex shorts to wear under dresses & such. Maybe when it gets cooler for jeans, she will change her mind. Does she have some little girls that she hangs with? Maybe if she saw that they wore underthings, she'd want a pair too
Have you tried the girls underwear style called "boy shorts?" My eldest daughter prefers them and says they feel much, much better than typical panties because she doesn't get wedgies/croagies.
I wonder if its a sensory issue too. Especially if you were sensitive about your socks as child too. Although it could just as easily be a testing of the wills. Personally, I'd let her have this win. What's the big deal? Any preschool teacher with experience is going to completely understand what's going on and go with the flow. I would bring some undies and socks and put them in her cubbie. Let her know they are there if she wants to put them on. That gives her the power to make her own decision.
I went much of my life wearing things that did not fit properly and I HATED it...I finally found underwear that fit perfectly...from VS of all places! Their XS fits me so well because it's not too big and doesn't ride up or bunch up the way every other pair had always done!
I say that because maybe her size needs to be adjusted or the style, (boyshorts)? When something is uncomfortable who wants to wear it?! Just because you don't think she has wedgies or bunching or whatever doesn't mean she doesn't find it very uncomfortable...I spent a lot of time being uncomfortable and not fussing because I was told nothing was wrong...thought I was a bit looney until my first VS pair! :)
My friends DD was like this and it got worse and worse to screaming matches everyday over the feel of everything. We all thought it was sensory but turns out it was anxiety. She is on a combo of anxiety meds and behavior therapy and it's getting much better. She is now 9.
i don't see this as being a battle worth fighting. if she wears panties under skirts, what's the problem?
ETA please don't consider the advice to hit her over it.
really???!!!
khairete
S.
Could it be a sensory thing? Before so many things went tagless, my SD would rip the tags out of all her clothes and even started to take the tags out of DD's clothes when she was born - I told SD to stop because I had no idea what size they were! I do not have a problem with tags, but they drive SD bonkers. So maybe your DD needs different socks or underwear. Maybe she needs to wear them wrong side out so the seam is not against her skin.
This site sells socks and undies you might want to check out. http://www.therawear.com/sensitivity.html
But if she's otherwise covered, I'd let her skip underpants as long as she wasn't going commando under skirts.
My daughter went through this phase a bit when she just turned three. I thought at first it was a potty training thing...since we had just finished up with that. But it was really becoming a problem. Especially since I make my daughter wear shorts under her dresses too (otherwise the entire universe sees her panties!). My solution was boys boxer briefs. They didn't ride up and she said they were comfy...I think the fact that dad and big brother wore them helped. After a few months, she wanted "girl panties" and the phase was over. But she still wears the boxer briefs as jammies pretty often.
My son started the same thing with his underwear, socks and shoes when he turned 4 in April! Oh and he also would only where athletic shorts, no other types of khakis or anything even if they had elastic waist. He said they hurt and were too small - which they were not. It startedwith his shoes which were brand new sneakers from Stride Rite thar he picked out and was measured for. I was so mad at him because they were not cheap shoes. Anyway summer came around and he was able to wear his crocs all the time which solved that problem. His underwear and shorts situtation - I'm not sure what happened. He just got over. When he had this issue it would be a fight in the morning before daycare and then when he got hom he would sometimes go upstairs and take off his underwear and not wear any. I just ignored it. I bought him some extra athletic shorts and just accepted that he would not be 'dressed up' for daycare. Now, he'll put on whatever I lay out and I have not heard a word about his underwear for a few weeks now. Sorry,no real advice here but from my experience it's just a phase. Do what you can without inconveniencing yourself too much (buy new underweard, diffeent kinds, etc) but it will likely pass. Don't let anyone convince you that she has some type of deeper sensory issue. I guess she might but you know her better than anyone and I believe you would have picked up on something sooner. I think 4 year old just like to complain :)
J., this sounds like a sensory issue. If I were you, I'd find an OT who specializes in sensory problems. My son had sensory issues and OT made a great deal of difference to him and to us.
Boys have underwear that goes down the legs (kind of like our Spanx). Could you find anything like this for her size? If it goes down her legs some, it might help. (I don't know if they make it for girls, but it's a thought.)
I do think that you have to expect her to wear underwear and socks. When it gets cold out, she will need both.
Dawn
Explain to her that preschool says she has to wear underwear and socks. If she says then she won't go to school tell her yes, she is. Since she isn't actually having wedgies I would get her bike shorts in different colors (Hanna Andersson online has them) and have her wear those instead of underwear under dresses and skirts, make it not an option. Pants or leggings if they are made of cotton she should be OK without undies, just not as clean (preschoolers aren't the best wipers), unless the school requires she wears them. If she chooses to stay home instead of complying have her stay in her room with no toys, TV, or someone to talk/play with as a consequence.
If she continues it may be a much bigger problem so you'll need to ask her doctor for a referral to a behavioral therapist who can pinpoint what's going on and help you to help her over this. If I'm hearing you correctly this is something you really need to address before it spreads to other areas.
I had supersensitive skin as a kid and socks, tags, etc. all bothered me. I only would wear larger type underwear I think. Could you try a "granny panty" type underwear for her, or get some comfy play dresses she could wear? Wearing socks inside out helped me, or getting socks with no seams. Good luck!
