4 Year Old with ADD

My child doesn't have ADHD, but I know in the classroom schedule is everything. The students I have taught that have ADHD rely on the schedule and go wild when there is a change. Even the students who do not have ADHD behave better when there is a clear schedule and they know what is expected of them.

Some ideas for the morning. Pick out clothes the night before. Wake him up and set a timer. He has to be dressed before the timer goes off. If he beats the timer he gets a sticker to put on a chart towards earning a reward. try to make it seems like a game. He will probably be able to focus better if he knows that everyday he has to get up, get dressed, eat, then brush his teeth (or whatever order you put things in). It should eventually become a habit so you don't have to struggle each day.

Yes, it really does help. I have two children with special needs. When you follow a schedule they know what to expect next and it's easier to communicate what you expect from them. When something out of the ordinary is going to happen my kids do better when I prepare them in advance with clear communication.

I'm sure this is a hard thing to go thru. I couldn't imagine. A schedule is everything. Your child or any child learn what we teach them. They know what to expect and how it's done and when. My opinion, it could only help you. Maybe your child is exhausted, which is why you're having a hard time getting him up. Do you have a set bedtime and routine? My son goes to bed at 8:30-9:00 because of sports. He showers, brushes his teeth, reads
& pratices spelling words or flash cards. Choose his clothing for the morning and lay them out in his bathroom. Kiss him goodnight and the day in over. He has a 10 minutes snooze in the morning and he likes to shower again. I think he feels like it wakes him up. His clothes are already in there waiting for him, he gets out dressed, brushes his teeth and comes down to start the day. After school, he comes in washes his hands and wants a snack. Then, it's time to buckle down with homework. Whatever time
is left is play time or his sport. It's not Supernanny, but it works for us. My son is 9, but you need to start now, this is where they learn. And because your son has ADD a schedule would only benefit him. Instead of a schedule, say you're implementing a routine. Kids need consistancy over and over again. Good luck!

Oh yes...a schedule means the world to a child. I can't say enough about it. When to eat, sleep, work, play trains the internal body clock of what to expect and is calming to the nervous system. It may very well solve the add adhd issues. I guess it does sound like the "nanny" - which is why people hire them. Take it one day at a time and I think that you will find that ultimately you'll have more pleasurable time for yourself. The school will notice a difference too - he'll be a much more settled student. He could be "lazy-acting" because he's emotionally exhausted. I can't say enough about guidelines - they can keep us sane, while allowing us the freedom to enjoy so much more.

In a word: YES!!! We have adopted a 4 yr old with ADHD and Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. I often joke that I have turned into Super Nanny. We do the same things as often as possible, meals at the same time, same punishment every time, same bed time, same everything. It has helped a lot!! The weekends are now our worse time because he too really likes school and needs that routine and energy burner.

Absolutely structured schedules help ADD kids, and the whole family, really. 4 years old is a bit young to start medication, but it sounds like you have a doctor monitoring the situation. Definitely try the Super Nanny technique. Make a picture schedule and post it where everyone can see it. Let your little one help make it (decorate with stickers, etc). The more involved he is, the more likely he'll follow the rules. Make specific schedules for certain activities, like the morning routine, bedtime routine, etc. Setting a timer and saying "Let's see if you can finish breakfast and brush your teeth before the timer goes off" will help him stay focused and motivated.

ADD kids tend to have a hard time with unstructured times, like downtime after school, so put together a box of toys and activities for those times. Put a picture of the box on the schedule so he feels like he'll have something to do instead of bouncing off the walls.

Good luck!

ADD meds for a four year old? You should do some more research on alternative methods to focus your energetic boy's energy. I saw in some of your old posts that he is only still in front of video games. Phasing them out would be a great start and encouraging outside play, taking walks with you, even looking through books that meet his interests will help to stimulate his mind. As far as a schedule all you need to do is follow a similar routine daily. Start by planning meals, wake up and bed time around his school schedule and make sure you stick to the same thing on the days he doesn't attend school. I don't think a four year old can voluntarily be lazy, he just needs different motivation for doing daily tasks other than that it is required of him. Making daily tasks fun and exciting may be the best way to get his attention and focus that energy that he has.

I have to have my 3 1/2 yr old on a schedule or he acts crazy. They are at an age where structure and schedules are very appropriate! It helps them know what is going to happen, depend on the activies, and teaches them to focus.
There is a saying about Idle Hands...especially true for add and adhd children, because they have all of this energy and don't know how to focus it.

Wow! Every child, every age needs a schedule. It sounds like he needs a consistently enforced schedule. You as a mom need to stop and take charge. You are the parent, you make the rules (and need to stick to them no matter what) and he needs to have discipline when he breaks them (and you need to stick to that no matter what too!) I'm shocked a DR would even medicate a child that age too. I have a 3yr old son and he is very high strung compared to his sister at this age but I would never think him to be ADD, ADHD or anything else. He is a boy and boys are very active. You also need to work with his Prek teacher too. I know most schools try to redirect or shadow the kids when they are bad, but it doesn't work. They need to be put in time out, have privileges taken away (missed recess time) and if you get in trouble at school, you get punishment at home too and it's doubled (no TV, video games, etc)!

You are playing two roles in his life, mom and dad. It's time to toughen up with him.

Good luck
S.

yes that is true.
Structure and organization helps with ADD/ADHD.
But I'm kind of wondering how a 4 yr old was diagnosed with ADD, most Drs will not diagnose until they are 7.

Routine is critical to these kids.My son 11 has a good dose of ADHD,and bipolar on top of his physical disabilities.One tiny change in routine can set him off into a rage.It helps alot.He much better during the school year when the rountine is more set.feelfree to email me ____@____.com

Hi BD,
You may already know much of this, but I have to ask because he is so young for medication.
Have you read any books like "Healing the childhood epidemics" by Kenneth Bock or considered the recommended dietary changes (GFCF), or considered some alternative medicine like osteopathy, homeopathy, or chiropractic....or better yet a combo of a couple of them?
Yes, the structure helps, but more than that, has he been evaluated by an OT. OT's are very helpful with helping the child understand his body and accomodate as needed. I recommend www.floortimeatlanta.com for this.
ADD and related difficulties cannot be remedied outside in. You need to understand what helps him (food, specific exercise, visual cues, etc). For that, you have to use a variety of professionals and talk to other parents.
Hope you will start getting every book you can and listen to the ones that understand the root problem and how to treat it rather than trying to treat the symptoms. Early and complete intervention is his best change of recovery.

By the way, he does not want to just be lazy. His body is not working for him, neither is his brain, or you would not have him on medication for a diagnosis. Laziness can be disiplined out, ADD cannot. He needs you to be his ADVOCATE! You are the only one in the world that will do it, remember that as you describe his behavior.
J

Every child needs a schedule and structure! I cannot believe a 4 yr old is on ADD meds, thats a little bit extreme. How did the doc diagnose that at such a young age? It just doesn't seem right, not at 4. I think you need to question that. He's too young to already be on meds!!

A wonderful way to get kids to accept and stick to routines are "schKIDules". They are picture schedules that the kids "buy into" and moms set up so it's a win-win.
www.schkidules.com

Not saying it doesn't happen. But everyone matures at a different age. YOu might want to find a child psychologist to help for some ideas.

I don't know how any parent survives without a schedule. Yes, yes, yes, you need a schedule and children behave and thrive so much better with a schedule. It helps a child so much by eating, bathing, reading, sleeping, etc around the same time every day. This helps them perdict what is next and when they know what is coming, they willing do it and you don't have to fight them or tell them over and over to do something. Not to mention it also helps you as a parent by managing your time. If you have not tried a schedule, do so and I bet after even a week or so of being on a schedule you will notice a difference.

I have to say I realize that you have quite a few responses, but I wanted to respond as well. Our son was ADHD and I have to tell you that schedules worked really well for him. We started when he was 3 years old and continued up until he moved from our home at age 18. He did so much better with structure and we really noticed a difference when he was away from home and his schedule. It does work as it gives them a sense of comfort as they know what to expect next. Good luck!!

P.S. Don't let people judge you for using medications. Until they walk in your shoes or your child's shoes they have no idea.

Yes it definitely helps everyone. My daughter has taught kindergarten for about 13 years now and the children that do the best are on regular schedules most of the time. If a child is difficult to get up in the morning they are not getting enough sleep at night. Part of the ADD can be from his trying to stay awake when he is really tired. When a child has enough sleep they will awaken on their own. OUr bodies adjust to schedules and not keeping a schedule keeps the body confused on what it should be doing. V.

My daughter is 17 years old, diagnosed with ADHD in 1st grade - we have tried it all, at least it feels that way.

It is true children and young adults, and I would say older adults as well need a lot of structure in their lives or little will be accomplished dealing with ADD or ADHD.

In the 11 years since her diagnosis structure/schedules play a big part in her accomplishments in life.

As we I type she is flying from Atlanta to Washington, DC with a group of FCCLA members to attend a Leadership Training program. The more structure she has in her life the better she copes. Does she always enjoy the structure - no not at all. She tries to go by the wayside if at all possible.

Sounds like you are not unlike me in the fact that schedules and structure are not my forte, especially in my home. As much as I would like them to be, I'm just not the type to put myself out to demand a certain schedule - too many things come into play. But, basically some type schedule does work best. A certain bed time during the week, vs weekends is probably what they are recommending. You will actually find life a little less hectic if you develope this for your son and yourself.

Good Luck and best wishes. It isn't an easy task, but what is... Best advice I can give is work with the teachers, keep in constant contact to stay on top of your childs successful education.

My granddaughter is ADD also, and is in the Gifted class. She drives us crazy with what we have called her headstrong attitude, but is very smart. She has been reading since she was 3 and 4. So don't let the ADD become a crutch, sometimes I feel I did this with our daughter and she uses it as an excuse. But I also see with others help in the school system she thrives and has made it to the level of State Secretary and Treasurer for FCCLA. So good luck with your son and just know you are not alone.

All the schedule tips are wonderful and every child needs to have a set routine. Your son may benefit from a visual schedule- put one up on the fridge with pictures of all the activities he has each day. Have him move a picture of a little boy to each activity as it is time to move to that acitvity. It also sounds like he may have high and low arousal issues- has he been evaluated by an occupational therapist? He may have sensory processing disorder or he may also be able to be treated for ADD through occupational therapy instead of medication. Do some on line research if you have not explored this option. He is very young to already be on medication and there are alternative methods.

B D,
I have been touched my ADHD in the classroom teaching children and in my own home with my husband. My husband was diagnosed with ADHD as a child. He was on medication until he went to college, where rebelling against his mother, he decided not to take it. He struggled through school and ended up in the Army. He did not grow up with a schedule nor a routine. The Army gave him the structure of a schedule and routine, which he thrived on. When he went back to school for his Army career, he struggled again. The classroom setting was too much for him. There was no longer a routine to fall back on. That is when we went together to a psychiatrist who put him back on a medication, which he continues to take. It is very hard for him to keep a routine, but when he is on his medication and in a routine/schedule, he is at his best. He is productive and happy.
I hope this is a good example of how a schedule has benefited someone with ADHD. He often wonders how much he could have accomplished if his parents had provided him a more structured life when he was younger.
It may help your son to have a list of things that are expected of him each morning /afternoon. For example..Get up at 7:30, Get Dressed, Eat Breakfast, Brush Teeth, Get backpack, Head to Car...He can check these things off each morning as they are done. You can make one up for the afternoon as well...eat a snack, do homework, etc.. If he has trouble doing his homework, you could break that down into little parts, giving him a break in between tasks.
Good luck with everything. It is a real challenge, but I bet you will find that your son begins to improve with the medication and some environmental changes!

I have a child of 9 yrs old he has adhd. He does so much better with a schedule, with a routine. Without and without his meds life falls apart.

He may not be lazy as in the mornings my son who is on meds as well is tired in the morning, also. He's got to be in bed by 8 pm my child. He just had a check up and for a 9 yr old it says 10-12 hrs of sleep a night. Is your child sleeping that much? If not he should.

I found a dry erase board does great I write each night (always the same) what he needs to do in the morning and he checks it off. ex: up at 6am, get dressed(clothes already laid out night before), eat breakfast, brush teeth, put on backpack at 7:00am walk out for bus. He erases it as he leaves...it makes him happy shows he completed something.

A schedule for everything helps, even for night time routine...etc. It made a great positive difference for all of us.

I do have to add everyone has a bad day and sometimes we have to find a way to make it fun. Just remember he's not in the military, he will make mistakes and I know a website that you might like:
adhd.kids.tripod.com the women who made the sight is a mom with a child that has adhd
familydoctor.org this sight has been helpful
healthyplace.com has great advise on adhd lets you know you aren't alone
I've also had many talks with FOCUS -children of families under stress they are here local in Ga the website is
focus-ga.org there's families with children of all kinds of special needs. Lucy has been wonderful over the years and all of her office staff. I have called cried because I've had to struggle at times with teachers not understanding my child, the give good advise and listen mostly listen it's nice to have someone like that.

I think schedules are great and can really give a child (or anyone) security. If you have routines and schedules then there are no questions as to "what comes next." Try taking your normal routine and adjusting it to be more like a schedule "it's time to brush our teeth--we do this every day at this time." or "in 10 minutes we'll be picking up the toys and getting ready for a drive to the grocery store." I believe you can have a schedule without having it feel like boot camp. Trying using timers too..."you have 3 minutes to get dressed...when the buzzer goes off you should have all your clothes on including your shoes." It will take some time to get used to so give it a week or so and just encourage your child to keep trying and that making mistakes are okay (but disobeying/whining/ignoring is no longer acceptable.) He'll have structure and expectations both at school and at home.