4 Year Old Stealing Food, What Can We Do?

This could so many different things.

The first is that the child is hungry and is not being fed enough or often enough. Many kids need to eat 6 times a day (breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, snack). It's the healthiest way to eat.

Other thoughts...
She is doing this for attention. She can't be getting much attention with only one parent and 2 siblings under the age of 2.

She could have some type of mental disorder or eating disorder.

Why is the fridge locked? Just to prevent her from stealing?

I would contact the child's doctor, as this sounds like it could be something serious that needs to be treated sooner than later.

Hi D.! I would definitely ask a pediatrician. I am going to come at this from another perspective than some other posters.

Just because she is stealing food does not mean she is hungry or not fed several times per day. My friend's daughter has done this constantly from toddlerhood and has no medical condition to make her do so.
I babysat for my friend's daughter when she was 3 years old and she ate 6 large pancakes, 3 sausage links, an orange, 2 eggs and 10 minutes later she started stealing food out of my fridge and off my kitchen counters.
Now when she rides in the car with us she constantly begs for meals from fast food places in amounts that my husband and I don't eat. She literally would eat every 10 minutes if she could.
Her parents have a lock on their fridge for a good reason!

Have her mama call the doc for suggestions and give her an appropriate amount of food and let her know the next time she can ask for a snack. Set a timer if that works for you. Letting a 4 year old have free reign of a refrigerator can be a health hazard as they can't tell which food is cooked or not and they could have something heavy fall on them.

Good luck!

It's impossible to really know they dynamics from your very brief description, but I can't imagine why a child would steal food unless it's forbidden. And I can't imagine why it would be forbidden unless:

1. It's fatty, sugary, or otherwise junky food that is more attractive and addicting than fresh veggies, fruits, cereals and meats;

2. The girl is overweight;

3. The girl is anxious about being pushed out of the center of her mother's life by the twins, and is getting whatever attention or sense of security she can by any means;

4. She's just plain hungry, and perhaps her mom has very strict ideas about when and where children should eat.

Some kids do better with grazing during the day. You might consider setting out small bowls of healthy foods for her – fruit chunks and vegetable sticks, peanut butter sandwich sections, bite-sized cheese, finger-food omelettes, crackers and hummus…. Also find ways to notice and acknowledge this little girl when she's doing ANYTHING cooperative, kind, polite, helpful, productive, creative. I'll bet the problem will go away.

You lock your fridge? Really? Here's my hunch, and it's just a hunch, she's hungry. Kids don't 'steal' food, they grab something to eat when they are hungry...

Me, I wouldn't lock the fridge, forbidding food seems a little wacky to me. I'd make sure she has enough to eat. Once the novelty of a fridge being open will full access wears off she won't be so tempted to keep going in there. GL.

I assume, you both buy your own groceries? After all, she has 3 kids plus herself.

A kid, won't know which food is yours and which isn't.
Can you get a separate fridge for yourself?
There is only you.... and your room-mate with 3 kids, should have their own food.

Next, why doesn't that room-mate just feed her kid?

There is not enough information here for me to make a good suggestion. I see three possibilities. 1) that she's hungry. Does your roommate feed her children enough food? Are there 3 meals and at least 2 snacks in between? 2) if the child does get enough to eat and hides the food that she steal she needs to be evaluated for a mental condition. 3) that this has become a power struggle between the mother and perhaps you and the child. I wonder about this one because the refrigerator is locked.

Now if you mean that you have put on a child lock, a plastic device that prevents toddlers from getting into the refrigerator then I don't see a problem with it being locked. I would lean to the possibility that she is hungry. Her mom/you need to teach her to ask for something to eat. My daughter does not want her children going to get food from the refrigerator without permission because she has plans for some of that food. But when they ask she tells them what they can have to eat and then they go get it. If it's OK for her to eat but you want more control over what she eats then the answer is for you to teach her to ask first.

Above all for whatever reason she is doing this do not punish her. Teach her with understanding and love. Talk with a pediatrician if there is a possibility that she has a disorder that is causing her to hide food or treat the food an any other way than eating it when she's hungry.

I agree with Peg M.'s ideas.

why in the world is your fridge locked? there's one of two things that are the problem here... 1, the child needs to be TAUGHT not to help herself to food without permission and/or 2, the child may be hungry... and by locking up the food, that makes it even more "desirable", seriously, that's really deranged to lock food up, with proper boundaries, that is totally unecessary. i don't allow my kids to snack without permission, but i would NEVER physically lock the food up, that just seems like it would cause major psych damage...

If it is your stuff, then get a small fridge and put it in your room and lock the door when you are not there. If it is not your stuff, then don't worry about it- they are her kids, not yours.

Updated

If it is your stuff, then get a small fridge and put it in your room and lock the door when you are not there. If it is not your stuff, then don't worry about it- they are her kids, not yours.

Stealing food in her own home? I hear my boyfriend say that about my 9 year old son, but it's my opinion, the food in the house belongs to everyone, and the child should be allowed to eat it- not consider it stealing.

I agree with Peg and Momof2girls below.

I cannot imagine why in the world a fridge should be locked. Kids are growing and need to eat frequently. Your roommate should stock up on healthy food - don't buy junk food, but have plenty of healthy food and leave it available, so the kids can grab an apple or trail mix or whatever. If healthy food is available and the child can eat whenever she needs, I think the concept of 'stealing' food will disappear.

I also think it's terrible to accuse a child of stealing food if she is hungry. The conditions of this situation need to be totally changed so that the child is not punished for eating, or associating food with negative attention (which may be the only attention she is getting - ??). This is a really bad set-up for long term eating problems.

If you want to help the situation, I think you need to talk with the mom about the bigger picture. Try to understand what the child is feeling and see what would be in her best interests. I have no idea what the relationship issues are, but is the child receiving positive attention? support and encouragement? Just the presence of a lock seems awfully undermining, like there is an implicit lack of trust, or assumption that someone will 'steal' if it is not there. That whole situation should be eliminated completely and replaced with an open system where the kids are taught which food is allowed, if you split the kitchen. A four year old can be shown 'you can eat anything in this cupboard and these drawers but these over here are off limits'. You can label the drawers with pictures, like they sometimes do in a preschool. It won't be perfect perhaps, but it's far better for the child to learn to respect those kinds of limits, and learn to be responsible, than to be living in a situation you've described. In the long run it will be far better for everyone if people learn to respect each other's belongings and respect rules of the house, rather than try to rely on locks and punishment.

As a last thought - perhaps the mom could get a small fridge for things that the kids are allowed to have.

I agree with the other people who answered. There might be something there that Mom isn't aware of yet and talking to the doctor would definitely be on my list. It does sound like the child isn't getting proper nutrition (and isn't being taught what proper nutrition is) and might not be eating enough. I also disagree with the lock on the fridge and the accusations. Not to attack you or mom, I just don't think its the answer to the question. My mother used to literally nag me about my eating habits when I was younger. I was a size 4 and playing several sports in my teen years and was always hungry, but was always always always expending energy so I needed to eat. If I ate a lot, my Mom would say things like "You've put on weight" or "if you keep eating like that you'll get fat." despite the fact that I ate healthy foods. While it may not seem like it, those things form a life long issue. I'm still dealing with this today. Just something to think about next time you have to deal with an incident, maybe a negative light isn't the right answer. Children will, more often than not, respond much better to positive attention. If you catch her with food, maybe ask her if she's hungry. Ask her if she would like for you to help her fix a yummy snack or something and help her fix something healthy. leaving fruit out might be a good idea, or leave cut up fruit in the fridge, show her where it is and tell her it is for her. Whole wheat crackers with cheese (can also leave a container of that cut up for her) would be another one that would be good. Cut up veggies, healthy cereals like cheerios put in portion containers. Leaving these within her reach and showing her that these are for her may help. Just food for thought! I hope you are able to get to the root of the issue.

I agree with Peg M, and I also think maybe a conversation with her pediatrician is a good idea. I disagree that kids don't steal food, I have heard of this before. But there is always some underlying reason for it. An unhealthy relationship with food will cause her problems for the rest of her life. If she is stealing food, whether she is hungry or not, you have to get to the root of the problem, not just lock it up. That could make it worse in the long run. Your roommate should probably take her to see the pediatrician, a nutritionist, a food therapist, or all of the above.

Another thing to do is cut out any sugary snacks. Not fruit, but refined sugars and juices. Sugar is actually addicting, and could be causing the problem if her body just keeps wanting more. My husband's family stayed with us for a while with his 6 yr old sister, and they kept only junk food snacks on hand. She was constantly going in and stealing the junk food, no matter how many times they told her not to. If it had been my kid, all that stuff would have been out of the house. If she wants to snack, it needs to be on healthy things. Grazing is actually a very good way to eat, but stealing food is not the same thing. Suggest to your roommate that she make a doctors appointment for her to talk about it.

I would first ask the question why is she stealing food instead of how to stop her. Is she really hungry or looking for attention? A child who hids or steals food has been previously or still is hungry. At her age they need alot of calories to keep going. I would make sure there is appropriate snacks available for her to eat to keep her hunger down.

My thought is she isn't getting enough to eat. Kids for the most part aren't going to steal food unless there are mental health issues that go with it. The bad thing about locking the fridge is your not teaching her responsibility. How is she suppose to learn to eat when she's hungry and not when she's bored? and what are healthy foods and not healthy foods. I have three kids and have never put an actual lock on my fridge. My kids have three meals and three snacks a day. One snack is always veggies and one snack is always fruit. Is it possible to put a bowl of fruit on the table so if she is truely hungry she is eating fruit instead of other stuff? If you lock up all the food it is certain that when she gets the chance she is going to over eat and hide it away. This could cause ants and mice or she could get food poisening not knowing what is perrishable and can't be hidden for days.

feeding her doesn't just mean giving her fruit loops, this kid might need some nutriutious food. that would actually make her feel full and healthy. As I'm sure her mom knows there are lots of organizations out there that help out people who can't help themselves.

Have you talked to her pediatrician? There is a condition that makes children want to eat everything in sight. (I don't know the name of it.) Is the child normal size? Overweight? Could she just be hungry? What happens if you leave food where she can get it easily? In other words, is this about food, or is it about behavior? Is there some reason why she wants to "make a statement"? Please try to be the child's advocate rather than an adversary, and see if you can understand the situation from her point of view. I wish you all the best!

In the first place - telling a child they are STEALING food in their own home is stupid. A child can't steal something that is purchased for them. (I assume you purchase food the the ENTIRE family, including the kids)

In the second place - if you accuse the child of STEALING, you are labeling them a thief and that is NEVER a good thing.

Yes, I agree that children should ask before getting into the refrigerator because they could spoil their meals by eating too close to mealtime. BUT, you should always have SOME healthy foods available that they will be allowed to eat at any time. Most pediatricians agree that children get a little bit hungry every couple hours and that's why they give them snacks at daycares, etc.

Just QUIT calling kids who get into a refrigerator THIEVES.

Wow,
There are many judgemental mamas.... I am a mother of 3 age 9, 7 and 4. My kids are in no way shape or form underfed! they get plenty of food and snacks daily! However, I too have a lock on my fridge and on my pantry (which does not stop him) as my 4 yr old has a nightly habbit of ravaging through the fridge and cupboards to find whatever he can to eat! Why do I lock my stuff? Well for one safety! for two safety and for 3 do you have any idea how expensive it is when your 4 yr old eats a weeks worth of school snacks for 3 kids in one night? It's frustrating, upsetting, and makes you feel helpless when you are grown and still cant find a way to stop your 4 yr old from eating you out of house and home!!!! Not to mention waking up in the morning to your house looking like raccoons have moved in lol! It is not legal to lock your child in their bedroom but yet if they eat something and get sick, or get into something dangerous, you are considered neglectful! Now us mothers are looking for help on the subject, not ridicule!
If anyone has any useful tips on the subject, I too would be very greatful!