4 Year Old Chewing a Hole in Her Lip- Help!

Updated on December 20, 2008
M.G. asks from Texas City, TX
16 answers

Our 4 year old daughter is constantly chewing her lip on the inside. It looks like a nervous habit. We catch her doing it often, riding in her carseat or watching TV. We remind her to stop. Last night she was eating and said the food was hurting her mouth. I got a flashlight and looked in there. I was stunned to see a huge open, excoriated area inside her bottom lip. It is the size of my thumnail and it looks awful, not to mention painful. We tried to ask her why she is doing it but she doesn't know. Has anyone else experienced this? What can we do to help her? I feel so bad for her. Any advice would be appreciated.

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L.B.

answers from Corpus Christi on

My first impression is to take her to the Dentist, they have medicine that will numb this area and treat it against infection and hopefully be be able to help both of you. Good luck.

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A.K.

answers from Houston on

I do this as an adult and always have. I have pin pointed it to nervousness and stress. But I know when to stop when it starts to get painful. It seems to be an unconcious thing. You don't even realize you are doing it. Does she have a busy/stressful schedule for her age? Try to find out what is making her nervous. Gum always has helped redirect the chewing for me. I know she is only 4 though. Just reminder her when you see her doing it to stop and try to redirect the chewing to something else. She probably doesn't even realize she is doing it most of the time. Good luck.

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W.C.

answers from San Antonio on

My daughter is 3 yearsold and she used to pick at her lips until they bleed. We gave her chapstick and now she has a chapstick habit lol, but there is no more blood. When we saw her picking, we would hand her the chapstick. Now she keeps one in her pocket and she will catch herself and switch to the chapstick. If the chapstick is not enough of a distraction for her, then maybe give her some gum? I know it isn't good for her teeth, but there would be no blood. I think the key is to just replace the habit with a more healthy habit. Maybe she could chew on a carrot, apple, or frozen juice popcicle while she watches TV? This will be a hard one to break. I feel for you both. Good luck.

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S.M.

answers from Austin on

If this is a nervous habit, it will need to be replaced with something that is just as calming, but is more appropriate. We all have calming behaviors. Some of us twirl our hair, pace the floor, or drum our fingers on the table. She could rub on a worry stone, or some other behavior that is more appropriate. Calming behaviors will always show up when we are nervous or anxious, even when we know better. The best thing is to replace biting her lip with something that she can do that would be just as calming.

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S.O.

answers from San Antonio on

I do this too. I've had to catch myself and tell myself not to before it gets too painful. If I don't, I get little sores all over my mouth. It's just a nervous habit for me. Once the pain starts, then I am made aware that I've been doing it. Use this pain as a way to teach your daughter why she's hurting. Then, use it as a reminder (not a scold) for later. Hey, remember that horrible sore you got last time? You better choose to stop chewing your lip or it will hurt again. It should help her realize it on her own. A little bit of chewing doesn't hurt, but once she can focus on the cause, she will be able to stop herself before it gets too far.

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A.C.

answers from Waco on

I do agree that you need to get to the root of the problem. That said, do not put any numbing meds on her mouth, this will cause her not to feel the "pain" when she has went too far. I won't go all into the emotional problems my 10 yr old daughter has and has had since birth, that we have tried for 10 years to figure out, but i will go into a couple. She has been diagnosed with ADD, in the way of not being able to focus, mild OCD, depression, severe anxiety disorders and sleeping problems...When she was 7 she started picking at the skin on her hands when she would get nervous or spaced out. We got her to stop that, only she too started chewing the inside of her lip. Now she chews the inside of her lip and has started in the past few months, chewing on her tongue to the point it scabs over. She also picks at the skin on her legs and arms now and makes sores. She has always "craved" gum and I have noticed that when we supply her with gum she does better about not chewing her mouth and tongue so badly. Now we just have to figure out a way to stop her from picking her skin...My prayers are with her and you as parents. Please though like I said, do not give her things to numb her mouth. Mix a liquid antacid like maalox with benadryl half and half, store brands are fine. Use a cotton swab and swab it in her mouth, shake well each time. This will help heal it and help with the pain without making so numb that she won't realize how much she has been chewing. Also if you would like to try the gum thing, Trident makes a wonderful gum that my daughter's dentist recommended, Trident Extreme. It only comes in a couple of flavors and my daughter loves the one in the green pack, it is wintergreen.

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S.A.

answers from Austin on

I'm 46 and I still chew the inside of my lower lip. Drives me crazy, and I stop myself as soon as I realize I'm doing it (it's mostly when I'm reading, praying or doing some other quiet activity -- in fact, I just caught myself doing it!). I think you've gotten some good answers so far -- I would check with your pediatrician to see if it might be a behavioral issue like OCD.

It could also be, as has been mentioned several times, a "nervous habit." When I was growing up we had some things going on with my oldest brother that really caused major disruption in our family (he was suicidally depressed for years). I'm sure the habit formed in those years. So, nothing at all may be going on with your daughter as far as external stresses, but I would talk to her to see if there is anything bothering her. A lot of times with kids, if they're anxious about something it will show up in odd behaviors like this. Whatever the cause, I truly hope you can find a way to nip this! It's not debilitating, but it's certainly an annoyance to go through your life with (especially when you manage to chew yourself a big sore that shows from the outside!).

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T.H.

answers from Houston on

That could very well be a nervouse habit, have your tried asking her if something is bothering her or if she is upset about something? Has she always done this? Also the sore spot in her mouth were she has been biting it does it look like a whitish spot that goes inward soemwhat? If so this is an ulcer sore which can be caused from the biting of the inside of the cheek, lip or tongue. There is no real way of making it go away faster but just to let you know if it is an ulcer she should not eat or drink anything with a lot of acid in it until it goes away fully because acid can make it get bigger and hurt a lot more. I get these ulcers a lot so I know how much it hurts. So do not allow her to eat ketchup, tamatoes, spaggetti, oranges, no soda's or orange juice. Sorry to hear about this and I hope the sore goes away soon. Ask your pediatrician if there is something you can do to help her break this habit. Have a wonderful holiday.

K.N.

answers from Austin on

Ok, I'll just go out and tell this about myself... When I was in kindergarden and 1st grade, I distinctly remember scratching the very top of my scalp constantly. It was actually only a small spot, perhaps maybe <1 cm. But it drove me crazy. And the more I picked at it, the more it itched and I'd scratch even more. I'd pull hair strands out, but only at that particular spot. I know, gross. It took a while to break the habit. Unfortunately, I think I replaced it with picking the skin under my thumb nail, then cracking my knuckles... So, I do agree with the previous poster that you should try and introduce a different habit, hopefully one less destructive. Because, you already know she has an oral fixation and this particular habit will probably be replaced by something else; but you don't want her habit to develop into biting her finger nails, picking at her gums/teeth, sucking/chewing hair, etc.

I would not give tylonal/pain medication long term, because that can cause ulcers. However you might want to consider giving her some tylonal over the next week, in the hope that it might help deaden the 'sensation' that prompts her to chew her lip. As in, block the nerve that keep telling her brain to focus on that area. And introduce the new habit at the same time.

In addition to tic-tacs (they're little, not as much sugar; tell her to suck one at a time?), gum, suckers (I think they make mini-dumdum lollipops?), or let her suck on slices of frozen banana... you can also give her a harmonica or kazoo when she's in the car? (I know, hard of your ears, but at least its something that will interfere with her chewing her lip). Give a plastic straw to her to chew on when she's sitting & watching TV... (Although don't let her walk/run with that in her mouth! If she fell, it could get pushed into the tissue at the back of her mouth.. That's an ER visit).

And, you can always look into possible hypnotism if you can't get her to break the habit. It might help...?

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L.B.

answers from Austin on

my 4 year old was constantly putting her hands in her mouth and I thought it was nervous energy. Turns out she only does it when she has a cold which is basically all of sept-may. I give her yarn to chew on and it helps break the habit a bit without messing up her teeth.

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C.A.

answers from San Antonio on

This must be very hurtful. Somehow you need to get to the root of this. My niece used to get very nervous when she watched Cruela on 101 Dalmations? Try to avoid stressful TV, there is so much negative stuff on right now. Find something else to do (crafts, puzzles, games). As for the carseat, same thing find something for her to do with her hands, play soothing music, or maybe children's songs that she will sing with. Something to consider: for stress, I like to use Rescue Remedy (google it) Pastilles they are homeopathic, non-habit forming. I am studying to be a Naturopath and believe she may have some sort of vitamin difficiency. Look for a multi-vitamin that does not contain D&C #food coloring, gelatin, dl-tocopherol (synthetic vitamin E-you want the one with just the d- NOT dl-). I like Solgar, Solaray, or 365 Whole Foods (checkout www.luckyvitamin.com . Make sure she is well hydrated by drinking plain filtered water. If you go to a whole foods, they may be able to suggest a topical without toxic chemicals. As for chapstick, I would not use that brand, some of them are full of chemicals also. Splurge use one without lanolin, synthetics, and parabens. (I like organic vegan hempsters or 365). I hope this helps. www.mybiopro.com/claudia13

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S.G.

answers from San Antonio on

I have a 4 year old daughter...doesn't do that...but I think if I showed her what she's doing to herself, or took her to a dr. to give her a little scare, she'd stop. good luck!

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J.H.

answers from Houston on

You should know that a four year old is not able to tell you what is wrong. Take her to a doctor to get the place healed up, then get her to one who can properly diagnose her problem before she picks up some other nervous habit.

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S.T.

answers from Houston on

I work with a lot of children who have problems like you describe. In them, it is one of two things 1) OCD or 2) sensory problems. If it's sensory related, you can substitute with something else to chew on. Find one of those keychain bracelets made out of coiled plastic- those are fantastic to chew on. You could also add to the key ring a small piece of aquarium tubing in a good size width- get it at an aquarium or pet store for widest selection of diameter. Buy a couple of inches and then cut it to size as she's using it to make it smaller if need be.

OCD behaviors can be substituted with a new behavior, just be aware that the new one will be used just as aggressively. You're not too far from Stafford/Sugarland- you could call FOCUS Initiatives www.asdfocus.com for an evaluation (they used to do them free) or speak to them over the phone and see if they think it could be OCD or ASD related. It helps if you know the root of the problem!

I wish you all the best!

S., mom to 5 and advocate to those on the autism spectrum

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A.C.

answers from Corpus Christi on

It could be the start of a very bad habit. Could it be possible that she is seeing someone do this to themself? I have this bad habit and I catch myself doing this when I am in deep thoughts or nervous. I took up this bad habit by watching someone do it when I was 7 or 8. I am now 31 and still doing it when I am nervous. My parents tried breaking me of this habit, but it was difficult as I got older and school got stressful. I did it when I would sleep and think. If possible keep reminding her to stop chewing on the inside of her lip. I try not doing it in front of my parents because it bothers them that i still have this habit. So maybe your constant reminder will eventually stop because she knows this upsets you and it hurts when ever she eats certain foods and especially when she brushes her teeth.It burns with toothpaste. She could eventually stop on her own as she notices certain foods irritate her mouth. I try not to do this in front of my daughter because she started to pick up on things she sees me doing. Maybe when you catch her doing this give her something she can occupy herself with when she feels the urge to chew.

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C.M.

answers from Chicago on

Dab some orajel on it and call her pediatrician.

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