4 Month Old with Sleep Troubles

HI D.,

After reading about your problem and then reading the responses. I have a 7 year old who for the 1st year of his life didn't sleep for more 2 hrs at a time at night. I found that after his last feeding at night he'd be wide awake, so I'd just change his diaper and give him tons of kisses then put him down, while he was wide awake. He'd scream and cry and at 1st all I wanted to do was pick him up, but thankfully I had my wonderful mom there to help me and she told me NOT to pick him up because if I do he will never learn to sooth himself. I would only pick him up if he was still crying after about 20 minutes or so. It only took 2 nights of him crying himself to sleep and then he got himself to sleep without crying. I didn't find the shirt trick until he was a little older and I put him in his own room but it worked too, I'd lay him down and put my shirt close to him and he'd just lay there, or he'd play for awhile and then he'd fall asleep without crying. He still listens to music at bedtime and now he's asleep before the CD is done playing.

D.,

I can't help you with the sleep troubles. My son is the worst with that, and I know it's my fault, so I won't even try.

As for weaning from swaddling, we had a lot of success with that, and here is what I did. First, I checked with his ped at his checkup to make sure that he had outgrown the startle reflex. If she still has that, then stopping swaddling will cause her to wake up at night when she throws her arms out. If it's gone, then you can try this technique. I started leaving one arm free at nap time for a week, but swaddling completely at night. The next week, I left both arms free, but wrapped the blanket snugly around his body at nap time, and one arm free at night. After a week of that, I didn't swaddle at all for nap, and wrapped only his body at night. The next week, we didn't swaddle at all. It takes about three weeks, and you should still have plenty of time before the weather gets warmer (unfortunately), and it will give her plenty of time to get used to each new change.

Good luck. I wish I could be of more help.

Jess

I breastfed my daughter for about 6 months so what I did was get playpen and everytime i finshed feeding her I will change her pamper and put her in her playpen. But if is you that she wants then what has worked for me was I got a t- shirt and wore it all day for my sent. That is really what they want. And I soon as I put her down I would put the shirt next to her so she can still smell me. It has worked to this day and she is 5. But in my case it was my husband who used to rock her, sing to her and change her. I just did the breast feeding. lol So he wold always take the old shirt and put the one he was wearing all day. It has worked so far. He works night now for the past 3 years and he still does it so she always smelled his sent at bed time. I hope this works. good luck. Let me know how it works out

I wish I had an answer for you, but Im still trying to figure this out with my 13 month old... we never got him in a good routine, and he still doesnt nap during the day, 10-20 min naps laying in my arms, if I lay down with him and can take a nap with him(rare) then hell sleep for a couple hours. At night he doesnt go to bed till I do and gets up with me(we cosleep) I never had this problem with either of my girls, we coslept with them as well but I could lay them down for naps and theyd go to bed a couple hours before us in the evening(wed have a bassinet or portacrib in the living room) but my little man will NOT sleep unless its with me.... His dr has said I will either have to live with things the way they are till hes old enough to reason with or let him cry it out, and I cant let him cry it out!

As for the swaddling, if it comforts her then I wouldnt try to break her of it, that may only complicate what your trying to acomplish.... this summer you can always swaddle her with a light weight blanket, and leave a fan on.... my 4 1/2 yr old had to cover up with her favorite blankie no matter what until about a yr ago, even on the hottest nights, we would ask her if she was to hot and shed say no, as soon as she was asleep shed kick it off and just snuggle it. Now she doesnt have to have it just needs to know where it is.

I will say that I also believe in letting your baby learn how to soothe herself. I cried every night listening to my little one. If you have to walk out of the house to not hear her, do it. You have heard all this before. What I really wanted to tell you was that my doctor told me, when you have a routine like rocking them to sleep... they wake and they WILL not go back to sleep without the same method everytime. So, you have to break her of this habit. For both of your sakes! GL!

hi D., i cant tell you too much of what to do, i seem to have failed miserably in the sleep department, but i can tell you that i have an 18 month old that i still have to rock to sleep, though i use a bouncy seat now. i would find a way to stop that habit, and quick. as for the swaddling, i did it too, it was great, and then she was very done with it, at about 4 mos, too. theyre starting to move around more at that age, you know? she wanted her arms free. and the startle reflex is going away, which is why the swaddling is so helpful the first few months. she may be done with the swaddler. in any case, remember that you are setting yourselves up now, im scared reading your post because ive been telling myself that with this one i will put him/her in bed awake no matter what, but thats exactly what you did! ack!! i just dont know, i only know that my old method of "it will work out" was a load of you-know-what. my son didnt sleep till we put him in a bed at 2! best of luck to you, and if you find a way to get some zzzzzzs, let me know! take care, D.

Hi, I am a mother of 4 plus I do day care out of my home for a living. Well I strongly agree with the 20 minute approach. Which is put your baby down in her crib,give her all the kisses and hugs like you do, but when you say good night walk out and don't look back. give her at least 20 minutes to try and sooth herself (most likely will fall alseep) this is hard to do. no body wants to hear any baby cry for 20 minutes let alone their own. It works beleive me I've tried it with both my own children and the children that i have had in day care. Give it a shot and soon she will realize that mommy is coming back for her.