4 Month Old W/ Major Sleep Issues

Updated on November 12, 2007
A.V. asks from Oakton, VA
21 answers

Our DS will be 4 months old on Saturday. He has never been what you would call a "good" sleeper. He has reflux, and is on Prevacid and takes Alimentum with rice cereal (doctor's orders to keep things down). He generally eats ever three hours during the day (four ounces with at least 4 teaspoons of rice cereal). He eats around 7 PM, gets a bath around 7:45 and is out by 8:00PM. We wake him at 10:00 to feed him, and sometimes he will eat everything and other times he will eat nothing.

Regardless of how much he eats at the 10:00 feeding, he majorly fusses every night around 2:30 or 3:00. He doesn't want to eat, but just will not go back to sleep. He is still getting swaddled. When we don't swaddle him, he wakes himself up constantly. However, I think he might be at the point where he is waking up because he wants to move around. We have tried the sleep sack and he just contstantly thrashes around and wakes up. He uses a pacifier and wakes up every time the thing comes out. He cannot get it back in by himself, so I do. Sometimes I have to hold it there for him and pat him for hours before he will go back to sleep.

He is still in a cradle in our room and I am afraid to move him into his own room, because he will wake his sister. Also, because I want to hear if he is having reflux issues.

I am at a loss...HELP.

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So What Happened?

I just wanted to take the time to thank of you for your great words of encouragement and advice. I have been at a loss, and it helps to have other moms give their opinion and to know that you all have had similar issues. I have gotten so many helpful suggetions, and hope that with a combination of all of them, we will all get a better night sleep!

Thank you so much!

A.

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E.B.

answers from Washington DC on

I placed my 7 week old daughter on her side using one of the sleep positioners (from First Years I think with the mesh breathable sides) and literally that was the first night she slept through the night and continued to do so. She's now 15 months and has been sleeping through the night ever since. Try it; I swear by it. She was so cozy on her side and her startle reflexes never woke her up because she was on her side. She stopped using the positioner once she started crawling (about 6-7 months.) Best of luck!

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A.D.

answers from Washington DC on

Seems like feeding him solids is too early for his tummy.?? Also waking him up to feed him is disturbing his own sleep patterns in an attempt to get him to sleep longer. You sound like a very caring mom and I don't have all of the answers but my gut reaction based on what I did with my daughter is to let him eat when he wants to eat and don't try to force it otherwise. My daughter created her own perfect schedule and I loved it. Everyone told me to force her but the more I let her do it the better I realized her schedule was for me after all. When she was that age, she went to bed around 9pm and woke up once at 3pm to nurse and then went back to bed until about 6 or 7am. I think if I would have woken her up 2 hours into the process she would have had some trouble because I think babies have a sleep cycle like we do. It's best to not disturb it so they can have a full cycle of sleep and start to regulate themselves.

Good luck. It's not the easiest thing to do but I think you'll find your son knows how to do it if you let him. Also, do you feed him formula with milk? Try soy? Maybe you already do. If I feed my daughter milk formula she throws up even to this day at 10 months old... soy is the only one we can use for her but honestly she spits up a little with that too. She's primarily breastfed and that's the only thing that's ever really worked for her tummy... of course at 6 months we started solids and she's fine with those but I did wait to 6 months to introduce the rice... Good luck to you!!

Oh! by the way my daughter had relux too and we elevated her moses basket for the first 4 months at least - just proped it up on the side her head was at with a pillow under the basket. Right around 4-5 months she was very agreable to sleep in her crib in her room alone but before that it was too soon.

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C.R.

answers from Washington DC on

How does your son sleep during the day? Does he nap well for you? My almost four month old doesn't nap well during the day. He will take these silly 20-45 minute catnaps periodically during the day...sometimes he'll sleep a whole hour. On those nights is when he will have me up at 2am and then around 6am. Although in the past week, they've finally been able to get him to take at least 1 2-hour nap at school, so he's been sleeping better at home (no 2am wake-up). So if your son isn't sleeping well during the day, he may be overtired and waking himself up (at least that's what that thrashing sounds like to me).
And I know this sounds counter-intuitive to everything we've been taught in recent years about sleeping and SIDS, but ask your doctor about putting your son on his belly for supervised naps. My cousin's son had very bad reflux and her pediatrician recommended putting him on his belly for naptime, and that child finally slept. It seemed the gentle pressure on his belly was enough to make him comfortable enough to sleep well. Once he started sleeping decently during the day, he slept better at night, too. Because of that, I told my daycare provider to put my son on his belly during the day (all their cribs are completely see-through) and that's when he usually gets his 2-hour nap. But please please ask your doctor about it first.

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A.F.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi A.. I definitely feel your pain as well. My youngest daughter did not sleep in her own room until she was 15 months old! For the first 4 months, she actually slept in her car seat carrier (either on the floor in our room or actually in the stroller in our room) because having her head raised helped with the reflux. After she moved our of her carrier, she actually slept in the pack n play in our room. My other advice would be do not wake him to eat - let him decide if he wants to eat or not. But I have a hard and fast rule to never wake a sleeping baby. Good luck and I hope that within everyone's advice you can find the right combination that works for you and your family!

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T.B.

answers from Washington DC on

Oh my gosh. I feel your pain, your story is an exact carbon copy of my youngest daughter (9 mos. next week). You should be commended. You are doing everything right. I did and do the same thing with my DD everynight. My sweetie is nearly nine months old and she has never been in her own room. We moved her bassinett out and crib in our room. She still wakes nightly and I have to jump out of bed and get her pacifier and plug her up so she and I can sleep. I think because of her reflux too that she is very sensitive and needs alot of reassurance that Mommy is there. Don't worry, things will get better. My Ellie has gotten better recently and is slowly growing out of her major reflux issues at night. (do you still elevate the mattress? We do. Use a nova telephone book or two. it helps. Our gastro and ped. said that reflux babies tend to be needier and may not be able to soothe themselves without help at first. It all takes longer and takes time. You're doing the best. Best wishes...

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T.A.

answers from Washington DC on

Hey, have your tried not waking him up at 10:00. Let him wake up and tell you when he is hungry. Just make sure he is not missing a feeding in the day. My 11 month has reflux. We elevated his head in the pack and play with a rolled up blanket under the mattress. We would give him a bath at 7:15ish and his last feeding between 7:45 and 8:00. He would sleep until 4:00. Sometimes he would go back to sleep after that but, not usually. When he wouldn't, he would have his first nap at 6:00. But, hey you cannot complain with 8 straight hours of sleep. The other thing, have you tried a different medicine. I have heard of people saying the first thing they tried didn't work. My son is on Zantac. I hope you can get it figured out. Good luck!!! T.

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D.H.

answers from Washington DC on

I know this is going to sound totally off the wall but, I am the mother of 6 kids(3 Girls 3 Boys) and 3 granchildren and have a few tried and true methods that may work for you. You might want to try placing the baby in his car seat and sit it on the top of your dryer and turn it on for a few minutes it usually soothes them right to sleep and when you think he is good and asleep try placing him in his cradle or bed. I have also heard of little units that you can get to place under the baby bed or cradle that gives off the same effect the slight vibrations soothe them for some reason. Let me if this works for you sweetie! Best of luck to you!

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S.B.

answers from Dover on

My husband is a Chiropractor and we carry nutritional supplements in our office. We've had a great deal of success with infants suffering from both acid reflux and restlessness/irritabiity after using our Ultimat Aloe. It's a wonderful product. We have both of our children (2 years and 4 months) on it on a regular basis for general health and especially if they need an immune booster. In our household it has been tremendous for colds. Our newborn got a cold at 1 and 1/2 months and she got very congested one night in the middle of the night. We gave her small doses of diluted Strawberry Kiwi Ultimate Aloe using a dropper and she began improving that same night. The congestion didn't come back the next night at all! It's quite possible that our product may help your little one. Our Ultimate Aloe is one of the most powerful and pure forms of aloe on the market, yet it is very gentle because the aloin is removed. All I can say is that it is staple in our household and our patients absolutely love it! You can order it from: www.drjonandshelly.com or from www.drjon.nutrametrix.com. I hope I can be of help to you. Have a blessed day!

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C.W.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi A.- we had similar issues when my son was that age. I didn't want to move him to his crib, both because I didn't want him to wake his sister next door and it was so convienent to have him in my room. My doc convinced me of how uncomfortable he was and we finally moved him over a long weekend. The first few nights were bad. He would last a few hours before I would move him to my bed. After 5 or 6 nights he finally adjusted and would wake only once in the night. (and we could hear him with our without the monitor) He really did sleep better in his crib and to my surprise, his sister never awoke during some real screaming jags. As for the eating, he had reflux, but not as severe as your son. We used to wake him around 10 to feed him and "fill the tank" until my doc told me this was counter productive. He would be over-filled and uncomfortable for that reason and it would aggravate his reflux, and then later in the night he would be up because his diaper was wet and leaking. My advice would be to cut the 10P feed and move him to his crib (if you are still reluctant, put him in a pack and play in your room). If you don't think he is getting enough give him and extra feeding during the day or increase the amounts you are giving him. Good luck.

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B.D.

answers from Washington DC on

First off, what babies seem to not have reflux these days?! Our 4 month old was diagnosed as well and we have been using Prevacid too. We do about 7oz of formula instead of the cereal so it will be lighter on his tummy. We are still swaddling him too...it's a must for him to stay asleep longer than 1 hr. Had a thought about the middle of the night fussiness...have you tried letting your baby cry on his own a bit or putting on some relaxing music when he cries? There seems to be tons of strategies out there to get your baby to go back to sleep without picking him up yourself each time they wake up. Might help?

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F.B.

answers from Charlottesville on

So my son had similar problems. Is he getting anything other than the formula, because you would be surprised what can bother them. Also, what type of cereal are you using. My son had a sensitivity to soy and the gerber cereal contained that, as soon as I switched to beechnut, things got a LOT better, you may just want to try that. Also, we found that 2 tsp of cereal was our magic amount, so you may want to play with that a little. The other thing that I found really helped was sleeping position. I got a side-sleeper thing from toys r us, it is meant to allow your child to sleep on their side, but my son would roll so his stomach was up against it. I talked to my pediatrician who said for him that was perfect, he wanted to sleep on his stomach, but that's not safe until they can get there and back by themselves. This allowed me to keep him up, so prevent SIDS, etc, but put the pressure on his belly to keep him calm and sleeping better. They are only about $10-20, so to me it was worth it to try and it worked great. I hope this helps!! Also, you need to elevate his head, it is crucial with the reflux. In the bassinet I elevated under the platform with 2-3 textbooks because their wide to help stablity. Then in the crib I did 2 things, I set the mattress platform at 2 different heights, so the foot end of the bed was one level down from the top of the bed. Then I put 2 textbooks under the mattress, I never used a pillow, they are dangerous. Th Let me know if you have any other questions that I may be able to help with. Oh and my son finally grew out of the reflux and is doing so much better, I hope this happens for you, best of luck!!

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T.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Is he sleeping with his head elevated? If he has reflux, that might help, because at night the stomach acid tends to come up the esophagus even in adults when they are lying flat; in babies I imagine this problem can be even worse. My firstborn had problems like that (we didn't diagnose her reflux until she was seven but looking back it's clear she's always had it) and she was similarly fussy. I was a new mom and had no idea what to do so we tried everything. I burned out a motor (no lie) in an electric swing because for a while that was the only way I could get her to sleep. At other times, she spent the night in her car seat. In retrospect I think these things helped because it elevated her head. Worth a try, anyway.--T. content

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S.L.

answers from Washington DC on

I am so sorry! I had a reflux baby myself and it is SO hard. I'm glad you have a diagnosis and meds, that is key! Have you tried elevating his bassinet? If you put a box no more than 6 inches tall under one end of the bassinet base then put his head at that end it will help him to keep his food down while he sleeps and keep the burning sensation away. That helped mine a lot. I would NOT wake him up to eat. If he is sleeping he does not need to eat, he is old enough to wake up when he is hungry, be glad when he is sleeping! More food will also cause more reflux, it is soothing going down but painful afterwards and is a vicious cycle. Keep his head elevated while he eats then for about 15 minutes afterwards before you lay him down. I used a miracle blanket (google it) to swaddle my son and it was awesome b/c he could not break free. I was very sad when he grew out of it around 5 months or so but it took a few weeks for him to sleep on his own with out it. Unfortunately, just when you think you get one thing figured out another issue pops up! But I will say, my son nursed every 45 mins to 2 hours for the first 6 months and did not sleep for more than 3 hours at a time AT NIGHT and 15 minute naps during the day (only on me) but he is now a great sleeper. He sleeps 11 hours at night without a fuss, takes two long naps each day and the reflux is totally gone. So it takes time but it does get better. Hang in there and please let me know if I can answer any questions or help in any way!

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A.S.

answers from Washington DC on

I also have a reflux baby who is 6 months old. He too had some sleep issues, but most of which were during the day in regards to naps. My advice with the night sleeping would be to just let him sleep as long as he wants to at night instead of waking him at 10 to eat. Especially since sometimes he isn't even eating anything. Waking him might actually be messing up his normal sleep patterns. I would also recommend reading the book Healthy sleep habits, happy child by Marc Weissbluth. It was a HUGE help with helping me sort out my sons sleep issues. I don't know how you feel about letting your little one cry it out since he/she has reached that magical 4 month mark it regards to self soothing. I was very nervous to let our son cry because I was worried that he would have a reflux attack, or worse yet vomit... but it turns out he did fantastic with the technique. He only cries a little for his two naps, and goes down at night by himself without crying now and sleeps through the night. Another book that really helped with some tips on reflux babies was the book ColicSolved. It had some great soothing ideas that we found worked very well for our son. Good luck!!

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N.F.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi. my son had reflux too. He was on meds the first year of his life. Sleep issues as well. I advise that you don't wake him at ten pm. It probably disrupts his natural sleep cycle. Also I wish i had known about probiotics when he was young. Try using Rhino powder with fos and acidophilus. Get it at your local health food store, or online. Might consult your doctor, but definately won't hurt him. Helps with colic, diareah, some other things. Just helps restore beneficial bacteria in his intestines. Great to use during and after antibiotic use.(helps immune system). Hope this helped. In what area do you live? I am looking for childcare near strasburg,va. If you live near there and know of any, please let me know. Thanks, N.

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T.S.

answers from Richmond on

I would move him from the cradle to your bed. It makes for a much better night's sleep for baby and mother. Baby needs the closeness while he sleeps. Dr. James McKenna from the University of Notre Dame has done research which reveals that babies need to regulate their sleep cycles by matching the mother's breathing, I believe within about 12 to 15 inches. There is a miguided notion in our culture that sleep sharing is dangerous (its not, as long as you're not obese, dont drink or do drugs before bed, and dont have too many loose blankets) or that the child will never leave the bed (also not true. cosleeping babies are more secure and reap psychological benefits from cosleeping).

http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/

good luck!

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S.D.

answers from Norfolk on

I'm so sorry. I have a 6 month old who's never been a real good sleeper. I only have a couple suggestions that helped me. My son does not have reflux but eveery time I have given him rice cereal he spits it all up so my ped. suggested i try oatmeal cereal and it has worked like charm. We've had no issues at all. If you are worried about it being extra fiberious just mix it with prune or apple juice. Also, my son by 8 weeks wouldn't sleep on his back or sleep swadled with his arms in. Try swaddling just underneath his armpits down. And I also started putting him on his side to sleep (just roll a couple of blankets up and put one in front of him and one behind him to keep him from moving and give him security). This worked for awhile and then I moved him to his tummy. I know they say you shouldn't but for awhile it was the only way he would sleep. Now he rolls around however he wants and pretty much will sleep anywhere. It sounds "against the rules" but I figured it worked for my mom with 4 kids it can't be that bad.

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E.M.

answers from Washington DC on

That's rough. How about a swing? You could set it up in your room so you could still hear your son. Maybe the gentle motion would soothe him so you don't have to pat him. Also, he would feel cradled (like in your arms) since there isn't empty space on the sides like there is in a cradle? But even if nothing but your arms will work just keep reminding yourslef that it won't gone on for too many more months.

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K.M.

answers from Norfolk on

I have a 6 month old who also had reflux. I think for the most part he's over it but he still has the most trouble getting to sleep. Right now we're resorting to the "cry it out" method and some nights it works with some ease and other nights it's the hardest thing ever!
I'm not saying to try that yet for you though because at four months they still need momma.
Your lucky your kid atleast takes pacifiers!
Have you tried the bedtime bath and lotion stuff? I love it! My son actually gets tired afterwards. So I feed him and put him down after he's been sleeping in my arms for about 20 minutes. I read somewhere that babies aren't really asleep until about 20 minutes after they close their eyes. So maybe stick with the routine and hold him while he sleeps for maybe 20-30 minutes. Til he gets to the kind of sleep where you can move him anywhere and all he'll do is squirm and go back to sleep.
Are you sure it isn't too hot or cold in the house? Maybe you should check that one out too. My boyfriend loves to freeze me to death when we're sleeping. It effects our son's sleep so I put a stop to it and turned the heat on at night. The warmer my baby is the longer he sleeps. Well unless he's too warm obviously. Maybe play a cd while he sleeps.

There are so many different things you can do. I'm still working on them myself..lemme know if any work or if you come up with something I'd love to know!

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L.P.

answers from Washington DC on

Hello my name is L. and I am a child care specialist in London lecturing in childcare at a Further Education college. I really feel for you but am surprised that you are feeding your child so early. In England we do not recommend solids until the child is at least six months old. Could you be exasperating the problem by feeding him solids? If you are breast feeding, babies of this age will be waking throughout the night for feeds, this is quite normal. If he is bottle fed then it could be a teat problem too much air going in as he sucks the teat? Either way burping the child and making sure the air is all up is probably the answer. Exhausting as it might be trapped wind is very painful and as the child physically develops he will be able to express his own wind and therefore relax and hopefully go off to sleep. Young babies should remain in the parent's room for at least six months. This will help later on with emotional development. Older siblings are often very heavy sleepers so sharing a room later on shouldn't be a problem unless there are sleeping issues with the older children. Have to go now. Chat later if you want to reply.

L.

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J.I.

answers from Washington DC on

I am no expert will only offer some things that worked for my 2 sons.
If he is sleeping why wake him up? We had a similar eveing routine and once they go down let them sleep as long as possible.
Try swaddling just his legs or just arms or both legs and one arm. My son who is 5 months only tolerated his legs swaddled.
THere is certainly no perfect book, but 12hours by 12weeks was helpful in establishing some ways to manage the increase sleep time.
I know getting our son out of our room was helpful b/c I don't respond to every whimper he makes. We have had to use an office for him to sleep in b/c I don't want him waking my 2y/o.
I haven't had to deal with the reflux as severe as your sons sounds but it will get better, it sounds like you are already doing a great job. Good luck.

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