4 Month Old Taking Super Short Naps and Waking at Night

From my experience with both of my kids all this seems very normal. I think all kids are different and you just need to go with it. Both my kids only took 30 - 45 minute naps when they were young. As they got older they would get better at taking longer naps. My 9 month old will now do 1 45 minute nap in the morning and a longer nap in the afternoon. But when he was 4 months old it was just short naps and that is very normal.

If you are down to 2 feedings at 4 months old I think you are doing great and I would not worry about it at all. My 9 month old is still up once a night but that just happened recently, he was doing 2 feedings a night up to 8 months old I think.

Everything sounds VERY normal and it "will pass." Just give it some time. The crazy 3 year is normal too... I am there right now as well with my older one :)

Hang in there!

Hi Lisa

As far as a I know - totally normal! I have a 4 month old and he is doing the exact same thing. I bought this wonderful book called The Wonder Weeks and it talks about child development stages and this is one of them. The little one is learning new things and this is affecting his sleep and his awake times. In addition, he might seem more fussy, clingy and crying? Sound familiar. My little guy has not slept throught the night ever and now it seems to have gotten worse - so I feel you on the sleep deprived!

The book talks about how hard this is on the mother especially as he/she will seem clingy to only you. Be patient, it will pass.

The book is available on Amazon only - it's out of print but ALL the moms in my momgroup love it.

Hi LIsa-
I can only offer second hand advice from my sisters who have babies. The key to their success was a schedule and full tummies. My husbands sister put her twins on a schedule the minute they were home from the hospital- part of her personality is super organization and order. My sister, while organized, is not so much. She waited until her son was 3.5 months old before trying to set him on a schedule. It took a few weeks. But they should be on a 3-4 hour schedule. Play, eat, nap. Play, eat, nap. My sister in law also does a dream feed, which is in the middle of the night. Without fully waking the boys, she feeds them at the normal time and they sleep until morning....without the dream feed, no dice. My older sister has a baby who cat naps and gets himself so tired that she is happy if he sleeps from 10pm- 4 or 6 am. NOw that he is 10.5 months old, he sleeps 8-9 hours. The twins sleep a little less. But the babies are on target, getting used to eating regularly, sleeping regularly, and as they grow, the cycles are lengthened.
As for your 3 year old, he sounds tenacious. Something that worked for me while doing childcare (I watched the boys mother do this to him) was get on her knees, have his full attention, and give him clear cut simple instructions. He had to show her he understood. If he failed to follow her direction, or disobeyed, his rewards jar lost a reward. (Marbles, etc). When the jar was full, he received his reward. But the only way for him to fill it was to obey his mother- she also used the same thing for potty training, and it was amazing how quickly he decided he wanted his rewards and was willing to behave to earn them.
I hope this helps!
-E. M

Hi Lisa -

I love the Weissbluth book for information about the science of baby sleep. I've been using it and while my seven month old doesn't always stay asleep as well as I'd like, she almost always goes to sleep very easily.

When she was four months old, her naps were only 45 minutes long. At night, she'd usually get one three hour period, and then one two or so hour period, and then as we got closer to the dawn she'd drop down to one hour chunks of sleep. She'd be crying or screaming each time she woke up and I needed to BF her to calm her back down - once I fed her she went right back to sleep. It turned out that she was having serious problems with reflux - when she was lying down the acid in her stomach would irritate her esophagus, so when she got to the end of a sleep cycle and a partial awakening the pain in her tummy would wake her up. We put her on Zantac and got her a Tucker Sling and her naps and night sleep got longer almost instantly. So it's possible that your LO is waking up because he's painful.

Good luck!

HI, LIsa,
Like the other moms said, TOTALLY normal!!! It is just something you have to pass through. Sorry you are having a rough time of it. My baby is 16 months old and still wakes up at 1 AM and 6 AM to breastfeed. But since he sleeps with me, it doesn't bother me a bit.He has also been a short napper. My first son would nap 3 hours at a time and until recently (he is 4.5) still TOOK 3 hour naps!!!! My other son, the 16 month old usually takes 1 hour naps...always has. My advice is to try to split the night time duty with your husband so that you are not the one waking up 4 times a night. My husband works evenings, so it is easier for us to manage, since he does not go to bed until the wee hours. I understand that some husbands work early in the morning and feel like they need a good night's sleep. However, my take on it is that you have a job, too: to take good care of your baby during the day. If you are so exhausted from waking up 4 times a night all by yourself, you won't do a good job taking care of the little one. Maybe your husband can feed him with a bottle at midnight so you can sleep, or if you are still up, he can get up after that one the next two times or something like this. That way, you are splitting up the sleep deprivation between the two of you, instead of making you the one who suffers from two hour increments of sleep. Just my take on it. Both my husband and I work part-time and this was how we solved the issue.

Regarding your 3 year old, read Parenting with Love and Logic. A great book! It should help a lot. It helped us out a lot!

best,
A.

My first baby slept through starting at 3 months... Whoa, what a blessing!!! My second is 9 months old and still waking! So YES, totally normal... and it does get better. He stopped eating at night sometime around 7 months. His single wake-up now seems to be teething related - he goes right back to sleep with some teething gel and a few pats. (But it HAS to be mommy, not daddy who goes in, else screaming ensues). There are *some* nights that he sleeps straight through undisturbed. Do what you can to go to bed early (leftover nights are the best!). The Weissbluth book will hopefully give you some good tips on extending the naps. If I recall, there may still be 3 shortish (1hr) naps at this age. To your other comment - I have a 2yr 9 mo old who's gotten very whiny and talk-backy lately... no solution for you on that one, sorry. :( Hoping that's a phase too! Good luck.

Hi Lisa,

This is normal. If you are nursing, breast milk takes around 30 minutes to digest and only keeps the baby satisfied for 2-4 hours. Some babies do well and sleep through the night, but others need to feed more frequently. Babies usually do not sleep 12 hours without waking for a feeding or two, depends on the child.
Naps, my daughter is 1 years old and still only naps 45 minutes at a time. She is staying awake longer now, 3-4 hours, but then gets tired and nurses and then goes down for a nap. I usually put her to sleep around 9 pm and she stays asleep until 4 or 5 am. I try and tire her out so that she stays asleep longer, but every day and night is different.
When you see that he's tired you may want to try putting him down in his crib and letting him put himself to sleep. He will cry initially, but when they are tired it usually doesn't take very long. Just check in on him and make sure he's ok and soon enough you'll see that he will go to sleep and may stay asleep longer too.

Hi Lisa,

I am sorry to hear you are having a tough time at the moment. I sympathize with your lack of sleep and can only say it gets better!

My now 9 month old daughter seemed to pass through this phase around that time too. She was taking long naps and then all of a sudden went to short naps, it turns your schedule upside down for sure. As time went on she seemed to nap for a bit longer and now is still working on the occassional 2 hour nap but for the most part it is only one hour but on a more routine schedule.

I don't have much to offer in the way of advice because I think they all are just so different but do each find their right balance. But I do offer you some solidarity and hope you get some shut eye soon. Be good to yourself.

I have four year old and 15 month old boys. The older one started sleeping through the night (short night) at 5 weeks old and stopped napping altogether at 6 months old. The littler one still wakes at least twice every night and takes two 1 hour naps a day. They are very different, but both "normal" behaviors.

When the little one wakes in the night I always say to myself "Yay! I get to hold the baby". Positive reinforcement really does help. I do NOT feed him in the night anymore and he knows that, but he is 15 months old. Your little one is actually hungry in the night still.

As for the three year old, he wants your attention. There's no one thing to do to get him to behave better. There's a new baby inthe house and big brother is learning his new limits and such. Set aside time, a few times a day, to just be with the big brother. Do what he likes, and enjoy it with him. Then he will know that some times are for the baby and some times are for him. He wont demand your attention if he is sure another time for him is coming right up.

It's hard to balance everything and tend to everyone's emotional and physical needs. Just talking about it makes me tired !!! It's all so great though. What a fun journey. and it only gets better. Enjoy !!

Hey Lisa,
Sorry you are having such a rough time right now! I would really recomend getting the Baby Wise book by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam. I followed baby wise since by daughter was born and she is now taking 2 2 hour naps a day and sleeping through the night since she was about 8 weeks old. The book has alot of great advice on how long the naps should be and how to acomplish sleeping through the night. Basically your 4 month old ahould be taking 2 naps from 1 1/2 to 2 hours long and sleeping about 10-12 hours through the night. It will take you a few weeks to get into this routing, but I promise it will work if you read the book! There is something called the 45 minute intruder that you should read about in the book, this should really help you!You should eventually get into a routine where your baby eats every 3-4 hours and taked scheduled naps. Hope that this helps! Good luck!

I highly recommend the book The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems because I used it with both of my kids and they started sleeping through night at 3 months. My first was not a good napper. After getting this book, his naps went from 30-45 min to 2 +/- hrs. I know the book recommends a 4 hr feeding schedule at 4 months and gives suggestions on how to implement it as well as having a "troubleshooting" section (if your baby is doing x, then try doing this y thing).
Best of luck to you,
C.

This is totally normal. We JUST went thru that and had some sleep come back, which is nice. My second little guy is almost 6 months and his big bro is a little over 3.5 yrs. My baby slept really well for the first couple of months and then he turned 3 months old and he was waking after every sleep cycle (40 mins on the dot). He started teething, which I think was the first culprit. Then, every time he was/is hitting a milestone, sleep left/leaves us. His first tooth cut through more than 2 weeks ago and right after, we had a week of epic sleeping (7 hour stretches some nights!!!) but now he's working on rolling and sitting so, again, no sleep for us (last night he woke up every hour and 20 mins, 2 sleep cycles). And on top of that, my oldest has finally started regressing hard core. He started school in June and now he starts to panic every time school is mentioned or I have to go somewhere (even if it's just putting the baby down for a nap). And he's started saying he doesn't want his brother to live here or be his brother. It's so hard when they both need you and you aren't sleeping. I've definitely had some not-so-great Mommy-moments but we're human and not perfect. But things are starting to get better. We just have to make it through this stage. Something that really helped me was reading about sleep cycles and how babies sleep on Dr Sears website (http://askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp). I hope some of this helps and just knowing that you aren't alone might be of some help too. Good luck and it WILL pass.

take care,
J.

Hi Lisa,

I know how hard this is - trust me! Check out the DVD Sleepeasy Solution - you can netflix it. They have a really great program that I've been using w/my 5 1/2 month old. He is taking a nap right now - 2 hours long so far. I'm still working on the nights - not feeding him at all anymore. People have major success w/this program. I also read Dr. Weissbluths book Healthy Baby Sleep Habits Happy Baby - something like that. Good luck! It takes a lot of patience and having to let him cry for a bit but you and he will both be happier when he is getting the rest he needs.
Debra

I am caring for a 4 year old boy who has been asked to leave his last three child care facilities. I told his Mom the most important thing is to have your yes be yes and your no be no. He has greatly improved here but it was difficult for him to learn bounderies. Our program is freedom within limits. He can't hurt himself or others and we tell him that hands are for helping not hurting. Since all of his screaming and jumping up and down does not change my no to yes, he is learning. He can kick and scream in our back porch next to our kitchen where I am. When he is finished, he and I can talk and he can rejoin the kids. I do try to have way more yeses and way less nos. One of the most important things to be ready for school is social skills. Does your child attend any program where he is with other cildren? It will be rough at first, but it does work. Be sure to have some fun with him too. Some babies are good sleepers and some are not.
It is okay for babies to cry; I just go in and pat them and tell them it is time to go to sleep. No getting up and having a party every time they wake up. But I do know they need to be changed and fed at such a young age. Babies wake up at least 10 times a night but they put themselves back to sleep. They need to do this. Put baby to bed when he/she are not completely asleep so they can learn to do so on their own. I know it is rough; I had four with two under 18 months and the older two under 7.
F.

F.

Sounds like pretty normal need to eat. I co sleep with my daughter and she helps herself through the night, getting me lots of sleep.
If this isn't an option in your house I might try scheduling wakeup times to feed him. I always nurse just before I go to bed, that gives me a 5 hour block from that point.

Is he cold ro hot? I had issues with my son at this age because I wasn't dressing him warm enough and as soon as i did we were good. I don't know. A friend told me just when you think you are going to lose your mind it passes and you are on to the next thing, good luck!

Healthy Sleep Happy Child, by M. Weisbluth, has been extremely helpful for us. My daughter was all over the place with her sleep schedule,in the beginning, and the book really helped us! At 12 weeks she was sleeping from 9:00 - 6:00 and she now sleeps 12 hours a night, with two good naps. She still goes through funky phases, especially when she is learning new skills i.e. crawling, sitting up, etc. but overall the book has been a major help!!!
Good luck and hang in there!

Hi Lisa,

My babies slept through the night pretty regularly at 10 weeks old, but I had pretty big babies and I bottle fed.

At 4 months my babies were up at 7am, feed, back down at 8:30. sleeps till 10am, feed and up until 11:30, naps from 11:30 to about 1pm. up for feeding and for hour and a half, back down to sleep from 2;30 -3pm. up at 3pm feed, back down for final nap (sometimes) at 5pm - 5:30 or 6pm. then, final feeding just before going back down for the evening between 7 - 9pm and sleeps through unsually. On occasion will wake, and it will become a habit for a week or so, until habit gets broken.

You can try to squeeze another feeding in there before he goes to bed. that might help him stay down for the night.

Oh mama! I have been there. My boys are 18 mths apart. My first son is now 3 and is in that talkback stage.....and oh, the fit throwing. We will get through it, we will.....right??
Okay now on to naps and sleeping. My baby, (now almost 18 mths), did not sleep thru the night until after a year, I want to say maybe 15 mths. I have gotten so used to less than 5 hours of sleep a day, I can't sleep more than that without feeling tired. Weird. Anyway. It seems to me, that you are putting him down a little early in the evenings, maybe he is not tired enough yet to actually fall asleep. For us, 8 pm was always a good time. My youngest now can't stay up past 8:30 if he TRY's haha, and my oldest is in bed by 9. They both now sleep thru till at least 5:30 (early I know, but it's a solid sleep).

It does get better, but just know that just because "everyone" else's babies sleep thru at 4 mths, doesn't mean that yours will and that is okay. You're not a bad mommy, you're tired, but that is just how some kids are. The good thing I have noticed about my baby, is now that he's figured out how to sleep thru the night, he does it consistently, even while teething, even while growing, etc. etc. So if there is any plus in the lack of sleep, it's that once they do it, they do it GOOD!!

Good luck mama.....the other thing I did was co-sleep with both of my boys. Not sure if you consider that an option, but I ALWAYS put them to bed in their beds, when they woke up I would rock them and try to put them back in their beds, and if that didn't work. I took them to bed with me.

good luck again
from one sleepy mommy to another.
K.

My son, now 16 months, did the same thing at about 5 months. At that point, I read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" cover to cover and applied the theory put forth in the book. It worked like a charm. 3 nights of crying at bedtime and then, voila, a great solid sleeper emerged. Since that time, he has slept minimum 12 hours at night with 2-3 hours of napping in the day. (We went from two naps to one at about 12 months) We have ups and downs as things change but I use that book as my sleep bible and he always gets back on track. It's not for everybody, since the doctor who wrote it advocates "crying it out", but our results were textbook. Everyone I know who has used this book has been very happy with it.

HI there,
to me, this sounds normal! 45 minutes is considered a nap (from what I was told at my new moms support group) even though to us it doesn't feel like one! also the night waking pattern sounds just like my two kids at that age. I do think, however, that at 4 months is right on the cusp of when babies transition to two (hopefully longer!) naps, and maybe one less feeding at night. The advice I got about night feeding was, to wake the baby up and feed him before you go to bed, lets say at 9 or 10, so that soon they will sleep through the 12 o'clock feeding and you will get a bigger chunk of sleep (like 10 to 4 or something). hope that helps.

L.

ps I am in the same boat with the 3 year old!