4 Month Old Suddenly "Fighting" Nursing

Updated on February 10, 2007
S.R. asks from McKinney, TX
5 answers

My 4 month old daughter is breastfed & bottle-fed. I had to go back to work when she was 8 weeks old, and so during the day, she gets a bottle. But first thing and the morning, and from the time I get home from work (around 4 pm), I nurse her, and I love it. It really helps us bond, and almost seems to "make up" for lost time while I'm at work. But all of a sudden, this week, she has really started fighting being nursed. She cries and cries, pushes away, screams and almost seems to panic when we start to nurse. I am so afraid that she is not wanting to nurse anymore and it breaks my heart. My husband told me last night that I need to not worry about it, and by me trying to keep nursing her if she doesn't want to that I'm being selfish. He didn't mean it the way it sounded, but I don't think he understands what this means to me. Has anyone dealt with this? Is it just a stage? Could she really not want to nurse at only 4 months old? How can I encourage her to keep nursing?

Also, we have been using the Avent bottles since we started giving her bottles at a couple weeks old. Recently, my mom bought her some Dr. Brown's bottles to use at her house (my baby deals with a gassy tummy and she'd heard they helped), and then yesterday, I learned my mother-in-law has been using the NUK nursing bottle (the nipple kinda looks like a breast). I was thinking that maybe she's confused with using 4 nipples (the 3 different bottles & my breast) to feed on. Is this a possibility? I feel bad asking our moms not to use the bottles they've spent good money on, but I'm just at a loss.

Please help!!!

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J.

answers from Dallas on

This confusion can definately happen. (I've nursed 3 kids and I swear I feel like I've seen it all!!) Also, you may want to check and make sure the bottles you're giving her have the smallest holes. This will more closely simulate the breast since the baby has to 'work hard' to get milk out of the breast unlike the bottles with the larger holes. If she's been using the bottles with larger holes she is probably getting frustrated that your breast doesn't flow as fast. Keep it up!! She'll be fine. Especially as she gets older/chooses to eat more solid foods and won't take a bottle as much, but will still LOVE to nurse.

P.S- No 4 month baby I've ever seen doesn't 'not want' to nurse....you may want to look on Kellymom.com for more information, it's really useful in cases where the baby is on a 'nursing strike' due to stress, etc....good luck!!

1 mom found this helpful
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A.B.

answers from Dallas on

I think maybe she's a bit old for nipple confusion... but I'm not for sure.

I'd keep trying... have you considered that she may be teething? My son cut his first teeth at 6 months... but I noticed them start to bother him at around 4 1/2 months. So maybe they've just started moving, and the sensation is new to her... once she gets used to it, she will get a little better until they start to get close to the surface.

Anyway, I hope that helps. I'd definitely stick with it for a few weeks, and if she still does it, then ask her doctor.

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M.

answers from Dallas on

I have heard that sometimes after a bottle in introduced the baby will prefer that because they do not have to work as hard to get the milk out.
She could also be tired, teething, not feel good etc.
I agree that you should not force it on her if it seems to stress her out. You could offer her the breast everyday, but if she becomes upset give her a bottle. Just keep pumping or your supply will diminish.
One thing I have come to realize as a mom is that the baby is in charge :).
Good luck

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M.D.

answers from Dallas on

Hey, S.!
I would go with your gut feeling about it. No one knows your baby better than you and you have to trust your 'mother' instincts. I think you could be right about 4 different nipples! Also, make sure your moms are using the slowest flow nipple. I'm thinking that if they just got new bottles, they probably didn't get the newborn flow nipple, knowing that she is 4 months old. However, since she is breastfeeding she needs to be on the slowest flow regardless of her age because the bottle, even at the slowest flow, is still easier than the bottle. So if it's just coming out so easy for her, she could be getting frustrated with having to work hard when it comes time to nurse.
Don't feel bad about telling your moms about it; YOU are the one having to deal with your baby's frustration, not them!
Way to go on 4 months of nursing!!!

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K.K.

answers from Dallas on

As for your husband'c comment...like you said, he really didn't mean to sound insensitive, but I believe men truly don't understand what an emotional connection nursing is. Don't give up, but also try not to be too h*** o* yourself. Your little one can sense when you feel stressed, so sometimes waiting 20 minutes or so will make a big difference. Also, are you waiting until she's truly hungry? Around 4 months, my children never ate as often as they did the first 3 months. They seem to start stretching out feedings and eating more efficiently, therefore fewer and faster feedings.
If you are still not sure, it may be helpful to schedule a consultation with a lactation consultant. They are very experienced with dealing with all kinds of feeding issues. Check with your insurance, it will most likely be covered.
Good Luck to you! Your little girl is lucky to have such a devoted Mommy!

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