4 1/2 Year Old Son Cries About Everything

Updated on November 18, 2009
M.B. asks from Edison, NJ
4 answers

I have two children, a 4 1/2 year old son and a 2 year old daughter. My son cries approximately 3-5 times a day. He cries because he cannot but his seatbelt on, or cries because I tell him to turn off the TV, cries because he doesn't want to eat breakfast, etc. I have tried everything that I can think of , I give him a star everyday he doesn't cry and after 5 stars I reward him with something, I also tried giving him time-out when he cries, I speak to him and try to teach him to communicate what is bothering him rather than just crying. The only thing I didn't try is ignoring him when he cries because he wails so loud that I don't have the patience to just wait for him to stop on his own. I've tried ignoring it once or twice but he just gets louder and continues on and on. It is soooo annoying when your child cries over every little thing. I get all my work done before he comes home from school so that I can spend time with him daily. Please advice on what I should do to stop or at least reduce his crying tantrums.

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answers from New York on

When you try a million different things and nothing works then all you are doing is being inconsistant. Figure out how you want to handle something and then just stay the course. Be calm and say 'I know it's frustrating when something isn't working the first time but crying isn't going to make it work.' If it's something he can do then ignore him after that and tell him 'good job' when he finally gets it to work. My son was a whiner. Whined over everything until one day I just stopped understanding the language of whine. Very politely I'd say 'Oh I'm sorry but I don't understand what you want' which would usually result in more whining until he figured out hey if I ask in a normal voice she gets it the first time. Did it happen overnight? Nope but then again the behavior didn't either.



answers from New York on

just turn your back and ignore him crying.. this should help.. when he sees it's not bothering you he will stop.



answers from New York on

Get some ear plugs and ignore his behavior. If you do a time out do not talk to him while he is in time-out. He is looking for the attention you are giving him even if it is negative. I know it is hard but the only way he is going to stop is when there is no response to his crying. I would use words like when you stop crying I will talk to until then please go in the other room and cry. I know it sounds harsh but it will work. It will not make you a bad mother. You are not ignoring your child's needs, you are ignoring his behavior. Good luck stay strong. I had a strong willed son too. There were days he would bring me to tears. We both made it he is going to be 25 in Feb. LOL!!



answers from New York on

Give him the language EVERY time. My daughter is the SAME way. If she cries because she can't buckle her booster, I calmly tell her "say, mommy, I can't buckle my seat. I need help" She says it calmly and then I help her and remind her how much easier and happier it was to act that way.

If nothing else, it at least stops that moment in its tracks. She is only 2, so I am hoping after lots of consistency, she will eventually get the hang of it.

Also, I am reading the baby whisperer for Toddlers and it describes Temperments. We are the proud owner of "touchy kids". Read the book and she gives you tips on how to respond to your particular child...

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