3Yr Old Afraid to Go to Sleep

Hi E.,
We have recently gone through the same thing with bears. My 4 1/2 year old has been having nightmares off and on for about 6 months. Some of them were really bad. I had terrifying dreams into my early 20s, so I agree with the "no punishment" approach. Active imaginations :o)
We have used febreeze as "bear spray". That worked for a while. Then his preschool teacher gave me a great idea. Make a dream catcher. Have him help you. Get a paper plate, hole punch holes around the outside. Let him help choose which color yarn to use. Then let him string the yarn across the plate (through the holes) to make a "web" in the middle. You can glue feathers on it if you want. Then hang it off his bed. Explain to him that the idea is that the bad dreams get caught in the web and then disappear in the light of day in the morning. Only the good dreams come through and trickle down to him. This has really helped us a lot. There's still a bear dream here and there (one this a.m.) but they're not as frequent and not as bad since we made the dream catcher. Good luck!

At certain ages... like now... a child, developmentally, develops 'fears' of night-time. Its normal...their cognition/imagination is changing....
Again, it is normal.

Do not scold or punish for it. You cannot 'extinguish' a child's mind...

Comfort him, let him have a flashlight IN bed with him, let him have a night light etc.

AND... specify with the Babysitter.... that he cannot watch TV... with the older kids/or her... and only age appropriate shows. Or none at all, if that is what you prefer.

Kids this age, can get 'scared' of anything...even bugs.

My kids are 3 almost 4, and 7 years old. They, at this age as well... get 'fears' of night time or things... that they hear from other kids. You cannot totally control what a child hears/sees... but, you can make sure that whatever it is is age appropriate.... if it is in your own home...
if outside influences are the triggers... then if you can, like the Babysitter... speak to her.

Age related 'fears' start at about 2 years old and continues.... on. Even when older. Even my 7 year old, got scared at night... because of what a kid was telling them at school... about ghosts/monsters/vampires etc.

A child the age of your son, for example, CANNOT differentiate between what is 'real' and what is fiction. That will come in time...

And yes, kids this age have night-mares. My 3-4 year old son does. I talk about it with him... he can remember his dreams... and he will articulate it.... to me. The next morning. Sometimes, he wakes at night, screaming/crying/scared. He will tell me it was a night mare. He does not watch scary shows on tv or anything. It is their imagination... or their minds/stresses etc. He once even had a 'night mare' where he was upset about being told "no" (by me) during the daytime... and in his dream, he was yelling back at me.... (although he did not do that when it actually happened). He said it irritated him that I told him 'no' earlier for a transgression.

So you see, anything, can tweak a child... hence, 'fears' or night mares... or their minds working things out, during sleep.

Talk with him about it... ALLOWING him to express his feelings... and comfort him.

You don't have to go to bed at 7:30... but you can tuck him in, sit with him in his room until he falls asleep. Then leave.
Or, if he really needs to, he can sleep on a mattress on the floor of your room. We have that too, for certain times.

all the best,
Susan

I wouldn't lie to him about witch spray. I would tell him the truth. God is bigger than the boogie man! He loves you and will protect you even while you sleep.
I would also have a nice talk with the babysitter.

Oh, Umm....well. *ahem*

We moved, cross country, in June. Since then, my three year old daughter has been AWFUL about going to sleep. There were threats, bribes, tantrums (mine) and ignoring....and nothing could make her stay in her bed after we put her there. (If we lock her door, she'll scream, which will keep her 18 month old brother up....so that's just something we haven't done here. We did do it when she was smaller.)

Now, she's asleep, every night, by 8:45, without a fuss. What's the difference? I lay down, on her bed, every night. I bring either a book, or my computer, and just chalk it up to "lazy me time." I've started to actually enjoy it! I've had SO much more time to read, this way. :-p

Besides, this can't last forever. When she falls asleep, I give her a kiss, get up, and leave. I still get 9-10 to hang out with my husband, tidy up, or watch TV. It's not so bad....

Get a can of room spray and tell him it's for witches and any other creatures that might come around at night. Then let him spray under the bed, in the closet, and anywhere else he wants. He can keep it in his room and use it whenever he needs it.

First find out for sure what movie and where he watched it and if it was the babysitters FIRE THEM NOW!!!!

second try a night light, music and/or a new stuffed animal or something he can sleep with. I had "starts" on my ceiling that glowed in the dark for a while and loved to look at them and fell asleep that way.

He is having dreams ,maybe nightmares and they wake him up. Its scary and disorients him. Hey its scary for adults for a second or 2 also. What has worked for me is a spray bottle with some very lightly tinted water in it. Green maybe for witches. Then at bedtime have him or you spray it on his door and window because it is magic witch/monster spray. Uh dont mention monsters unless he has already, you dont want to give him any ideas. If you have a dog, you can say you told the dog to bite the witches. Keep the bottle near his bed in case he wakes uo, he can spray the witch and chase her away.
Then maybe rent Witch mountain and watch it with him and explain how it is just make believe. Point out silly parts that could never happen, etc.

Children sometimes go through bed time scares, from a story, a movie, maybe a dream, the key is not to validate his fears by laying down with him, if you do he will always feel he has a reason to be scared. Make sure he has a soft night in his room, maybe a fan on low so it's not so quiet, but make him sleep in his room with out you or daddy, and when morning comes and nothing bad happened he should see there is nothing to be afraid of. tell him a funny story, or read him a funny book at bed time. See if that helps. I also agree with sandy don't lie to your son, and have a talk with the baby sitter about what she lets him watch, even some shows made for children can be scary, it all depends on how the child prseaves the movie, show or story. Nancy's way is to lie to your son. Never lie. J.

I did deal with this, my son just turned 5 and we just now got him sleeping in his own bed again, he was sleeping with us for the past 2 years. I finally said forget it and laid down the rules. He still tries to come into bed with us but I tell him no. I could not deal with the screaming every night so I just let him come into bed with us and that was wrong because it took 2 years to get him back into his own bed! But my advice to you would just be consistent and make him stay in his bed. I know it is hard, especially if he is acting scared but just try to make him understand that you are right outside the door and won't let anything happen to him. And you will just have to let him cry. I know how stressful it is, good luck!

very simple. just takes some time and patience. get a cheapo spray bottle from walmart from the garden center or the health-beauty department. fill it with water. next time he starts freaking out, come in very confidantly, and show him your "witch spray". let him know, very seriously and very convincingly, that witches HATE witch spray, and they will never come back once you spray it. let him help. ask him where he sees them the most. let him spray a few times. it may take more than one night. it might take a few weeks off and on, here and there. make a big to-do about it. he will be comforted. eventually he will quit thinking about witches at bedtime. my son's was spiders - he imagined he saw them in his room at night. we got rid of them eventually.

his actual nightmares are a little different - they tend to be at least a little more based on reality (at least his do). once he woke up crying hysterically, like his heart was broken, giant crocodile tears....and all he said was, "MYA TOOK MY FOOD!!!" lmao. i had to try real hard not to laugh at that one. (if you knew my son, the eating machine...it's hysterical that THAT is what he would have a nightmare about...!)