3.5 Yr Old Wont Poop on Potty

Get a box and put fun stuff in it that you wouldn't normally let her have - markers, coloring book, bubbles, ect. SHow it to her and tell her when she gets ready to poop on the pot she can look at and play with the stuff in the box. Otherwise it is off limits. Mine wouldn't even sit on the pot and it worked for us. Good luck!
And as for the response that she should have been potty trained long before she was 3....are you kidding me?? When I pottly trained my 3 yr old it took one day. Had I started 6 months earlier...it would have taken 6 months to get it done.

first, she probably should have been potty trained way before the age of 3...that's really a little too old. But, maybe you should talk to her pediatrician. Maybe it is painful for her somehow. She may need some kind of fruit/vegetable supplement to help soften her stool.

You might check out Dr. Greene website he talks about poop with holding. Now my daughter wont pee or poop in the potty or the pull up but will in the diaper.

My son did this and our pediatrician recommended miralax. We did it daily so he couldn't hold it then we got him to sit on the potty right before bath. We started with a large dose and then gradually reduced after he found he couldn't control it. It can be messy but it worked. I've started the same thing with my daughter who is 33 mos., not as much for potty training but reducing the control issue. Talk to your pediatrician and see what they say.

Hi K.,

Do you have her on the toilet, or on a small potty on the floor? If it actually hurts, she may need to be a on low potty seat where her knees are higher than her hips (as evidenced by her squatting under a table). This position is great for aiding elimination. If I were you, I would probably try this before adding any laxatives, etc.

Of course, prune juice is also a good option for children who have problems going.

Peace,
M.

Is she scared of pooping or sitting on the potty? If she is scared of the actual sitting, like my son was, you could try what our pedi recommended. It worked for our son. He had us ask our son to sit on the potty, lid closed, fully clothed and read him a favorite book. He told us to do this for 2 weeks straight. Then move to sitting on the potty, lid closed pants off, underware on and read him a book. Do this until he was willing to sit on the potty, lid up, underware on. Then we moved to lid up and underware off. No pressure, no anger, no forcing. Eventually, our son became used to the idea of sitting on the potty. However, he was terrified of the loud flushing sound, so we would flush it once he was out of the bathroom. Good luck!

Hi K.,

My son refused to poop in the potty too, preferring to hold it until he had an accident in his big boy pants. I finally got frustrated enough where I told him, "I am getting tired of cleaning up this mess. If you must wait until you have an accident in your pants, it's now your job to clean it up." The first time it happened, I watched over him to show him how to clean the mess and wash the underwear out. He was not a happy camper.

It may have happened once or twice more but once the responsibility for cleaning it was on him, he didn't like his decision anymore and changed to going on the potty.

I don't know if this will work for you or not but it did work for me. Good luck, whatever you decide.

My son did the same thing. This summer, I switched him to undies, and he had no problem peeing in the potty, but he would wait until wearing his nap time diaper to poop. He also used to cry and scream if I tried putting him on the potty. But, we now have pooping success (yay!!!!) so hopefully you will soon, too! What worked for us was waiting till he was ready and then using a step-by-step approach. At 3.5, she's probably physically ready, just scared, but doing it step-by-step may ease that. I think the fact that she is waiting until nap time will actually help you ... it means she can poop on demand and that her body is on a schedule. I might start by trying to have her go (in her pull up, however she's comfortable) before nap (as opposed to during / after). Tell her she should try to go now so that her tummy feels better and so she can sleep better. Once she's used to doing that, then have her poop (again, in a pull up, in what ever position is comfortable) in the bathroom. (Important: tell her about this step ahead of time, to reduce resistance ... emphasize she doesn't have to go on the potty yet). Then, once she does this well for several days, sit her on the potty IN HER PULLUP to poop. This will be the hard step, because she'll have to go in a different position, but letting her wear the pullup will ease the transition and give her more confidence. I would chose a day when you don't have to go anywhere and when you can focus on your daughter without losing patience. This was hard for my son, and we spent 3 days going back and forth to the potty as he kept saying ("I need to poop! ... then ... "I can't!). Finally, on the third day without pooping, I told him to just go ahead and poop standing up and that then I would put him on the potty. He said "No ... no ... I want to poop standing" and I said "Don't worry about it" and once he started (his face flushes, so its easy to tell) I put him on the potty. For the first several days, that's what we needed to do .... he would 'get started' standing, then I'd transfer him and he'd try to continue, at first without success, then with more. Eventually, he found a comfortable position, and he was able to poop (in a diaper) on the potty comfortably. This took a week and a half. Once I could tell he was comfortable with that step, I told him that he was ready to poop without a diaper (I always tell him of changes well in advance to minimize resistance). I was expecting more drama, but there was none! Now that he knew a comfortable position, it was easy. From that first time, pooping on the potty comfortably, he was trained! I really think letting him use the diaper on the potty eased the transition for him. A few other things we did: 1) I gave him 'pooping medicine' (a bit of flaxseed oil, mixed with jam), both to keep his stool somewhat soft and as a placebo ... to make him think it would be easier to poop, and 2) small rewards (e.g. a gummy bear) and LOTS of praise each time he pooped the 'correct' (whatever step he was on) way. My son can go through a whole list of who's proud of him, and by now he's added everyone he knows, including our pets and his baby brother. :-) Good luck ... and keep in mind ... everyone learns eventually! It will happen!

The only thing I would add to Cynthia and Diane's step-by-step process is something I read in a book somewhere. You can also cut a hole in the pull up once they are sitting on the potty in the pull up. That way they still have the comfort of the pull up, but get to actually poop in the potty. I haven't started potty training yet, but I read that and it stuck in my mind.

May need some stool softeners. Try a little prune juice. I had this kid afraid to poop put him on the toilet and in is dismay of crying it accidently came out and by were we having a celebration. Stickers and a party hat he wore all day. Something so special she wants bad. Keep trying they can be so stubborn. G. W

I had this problem with my first child. He would ask for a diaper so he could poop. I gave him the diaper, had him go into the bathroom "because that's where we go potty", and he would poop then come out to have his diaper changed. I went through all of the things you mentionned in your post (as well as needing a suppository because at one point he had not pooped in 6 days!) The good news is that he just turned 15, is a freshman starting on his football and basketball teams, plays guitar in a band, and makes A's and B's. And best of all. He poops on the potty - and has been doing so for over 11 years. Yes, that means he did not start pooping on thepotty until he was just over 4 years old. He never had accidents in his underwear (which he wore starting at 2 and a half when he was pee-pee trained) probably because I gave him a diaper when he asked. If I had it to do over, I would have stuck with the plan of giving him a diaper and having him go in the bathroom without all of my angst that led to trying to force him to use the potty, rewarding him to use the potty, or begging him to use the potty. Good luck!

Been there, done that!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me know if you find anything that works. I have tried EVERYTHING I can possibly think of or research. Next month it will be a year for him w/no poop but being "pee trained". He KNOWS, he's just scared and I'm getting beyons sick cleaning it up (and yep, I've tried making him clean it which he does too but needs help). Anywyas, good luck and please let me know!

My twins just turned 4 and finally poo'd on the potty today. I feel your pain.

If she's constipated or has experienced constipation in the past she could have a very real fear. It hurts. That was part of my daughters problem. She has been on a daily dose of Miralax for almost a year. So if her stools are firm, I'd start there.

My daughter also would not want us to come anywhere near her to change her pullup. So we finally just backed off and gave her a simple word of praise if she even went poo and she finally started asking us to change her. This next suggestion I may have gotten off of this website. I can't remember. Anyway, we finally made both of them start standing in the bathroom to go poo. They could still go in their pullup but they had to be in the bathroom. The next step is to have them sit on the potty with their pullup on and go poo. THen the next step is to have them sit without the pullup.

We started them standing in the bathroom to poo probably about three weeks ago. Last week we bought them Leapsters. If they indicated they needed to go poo, they could get extra Leapster playing time sitting on the potty with their pullups on. It worked! Today, they sat on the potty without pullups and did their business. Now at the moment I do have two four year olds who are a little to eager to spend too much time on the potty right now but I limit them to 10 minutes and we'll move it down to 5 minutes next week and so on. It may not be the best method but it worked for us.

I had a hard time with my 28 month old she refused to go poop in the potty for 2 months after she was potty trained. I hated it, but she would not do it no matter what I tried. At the time she was really into Diego so we went to the store and bought boy underwear with Diego. I explained to her how upset Diego would be if she pooped on him. From that day on she went poop in the potty. I woul keep pull ups off her and just let her go in her big girl panties. Another person on this site told me to have my daughter help me clean our the dirty panties. She hated that so I really think that helped jump start her to go.

My 3 year old kind of did the same thing a while back. just not being regular & holding it in. when we talked to her pedi about it, she said the try a half dose of miralax in her milk every morning, just to get her regulated again. Of course you should talk to her dr. first, but that has helped mine a lot!

We had this issue with my daugher and did two things. First, she was actually constipated and it did hurt. So, the Pediatrician gave us Miralax that we mixed with juice. We started @ a teaspoon and then backed down and only used it on days we needed it. Second, I sat down and talked to her. I told her that she was a big girl, knew her body and knew shen she needed to poop. I told her that she knows that poop goes in the potty and not in her pants. If she wanted to poop in a pull up, she would need to go get a pull up, go in the bathroom, stand next to the potty and poop. I gave her privacy for her to go in the bathroom where she didn't feel she needed to run behind the couch. Then, she would dump it (with my supervision) in the potty since that is where poop goes. I apologized to her for getting frustrated & told her from now on I'm going to trust her to be the big girl she is. After a week or two, it was no longer an issue.

My daughter did the same thing. She said she was scared it was going to hurt.Give her lots of softening items( apple juice, prune juice) anything that will make it easier for her to "poop soft" LOL! Also make sure she has a foot stool or something for the big potty. Sometime its how they are sitting that makes it harder. Thus squatting behind the couch.
Reassure her that if she drinks this or eats that it will make it easier to poop. She is just scared.
It's so hard to be patient but try not to make a it big deal over it. It will get better I promise!