Okay, a little background....My cousin and her husband moved in with us two months ago and have decided to stay indefinately. That's fine with us. We've been finishing the basement for them because she's due to have a baby September 21st, and' we'd like for them to have their own space.
So this morning I awoke to a note saying that they'd rushed my cousin off to the ER in the middle of the night and the news isn't good. She has HELLP syndrome and the baby has to be delivered immediately, probably by c-section! OH MY WORD!! She is not ready for a baby and neither am I! I thought I'd have at least another month to prepare, I mean she hasn't even had her shower yet.
Anyway, my question is...what should I be getting for her that she will need right away. The baby most likely won't be coming home for at least 4 weeks, but my cousin will need some things. I'm thinking she needs nursing bras and pads but I can't think of anything else. Do you ladies have any suggestions...what will she need NOW? She planned on nursing but since the baby will be so small, she will mostlikely have to pump, right? I've never had a premie so this is all new territory for me. HELP...I'm feeling really stressed for her. Thanks ladies!
Update: Her HELLP is not Class I, so they are going to monitor her at the hospital for as long as possible to give the baby more time to mature in utero. Thanks for all the great advice. I'm not the one throwing my cousins shower, her mom and sister are but they aren't throwing it until late August. So, she won't be getting anything for her shower anytime soon. I'm not going to do anything just yet, like some have said, I will wait and see what she wants and requests. I'm going to visit her this morning and will take her flowers, and magazines along with some other essentials that she forgot. Thanks again ladies
Update again- Baby was born by c-section last night. Mom and baby are well.
Great advice already. I would approach it on a day to day basis until you have a clear idea on what needs to be done. Ask the doctors what you can do at home for her. And, I think you should have a "Welcome Baby" party once all is well at home :)
How about a camera/extra batteries? If she left in a rush and is not well, her husband could take some photos. The early photos are really precious.
A pillow from home for a more comfy bed to recover in. A bathrobe or long nightgown from home for when she is traveling to NICU or walking to halls. Slippers or flip flops. Chapstick, deoderant, lotion, makeup-things to make her feel human again.
This exact thing happened to me with my now 6 year old. She will need some comfortable bras. If she is interested in pumping she will need a hospital grade pump to be the most effective. I rented one from a local hospital until I could buy one. Other than that, I would recommend that you bring some things to the hospital to keep her busy and some comfy roomy clothes that won't sit on her c-section scar. The hospital should provide everything for the baby. I know from experience that leaving the hospital without your child is really hard and if they put her on magnesium sulfate after her surgery be gentle with her because that stuff makes you feel terrible. I cried at everything half the time and was super depressed the rest of it and that is totally out of character for me. I hope that helps.
The baby won't need much since he/she will be in the NICU for a while. The momma will need support and prayers. If the hospital lets her nurse the nursing bras/pads/nipple cream etc. will help. Sometimes they make them give special formula that has extra nutrients. Relax you have some time. Go visit her. Ask her what she needs and just be there for her. It will be scary for her. Best wishes!
She will be in the hospital for a few days to recover from both the delivery and the condition. She will need bras, nursing pads, personal hygene items, etc. I would wait to see her tonight before buying anything. Its possible that she already had some things in mind/picked out but just hadn't purchased them yet.
Sending hugs.
M.
You said she hasn't had a shower yet, but has she registered?? If so, maybe pick up a few things from there that you KNOW can be useful right away. Another idea...Not really helpful at the hospital. But, if you are working on getting the basement ready for her--Would it be possible to surprise her by having their room and nursery ready for her to use when she gets home with baby?? As far as your cousin, just focus on stuff to help her be more comfortable--physically and emotionally. Give her as much support as *she* wants. Meaning, if she wants to talk, listen. If she needs to cry, be there. I've never had a preemie, but my cousin has, and I know how stressful, emotional, etc it can be. So, really just be there!!
She will probably have to pump for the first few weeks - tho if the baby is ok - she may try to nurse right away and I'd definitely recommend her trying that. Studies have shown very premie babies do amazing with a lot of immediate and constant Mommy to baby skin to skin and nursing (kangaroo care).
She may be able to use a hospital grade pump while at the hospital... she or you can look into that.
I wish her much luck and for the baby too.
She'll need maxi pads for the post-c bleeding, loose clothes because her abdomen will be very tender....Ibuprofen for pain
Definately a breast pump...
She'll likely need to pump at first.
Ask the nurses about having the shower in the hospital if mom is still there, otherwise talk to the people you've invited and let them know what's happened and see if the shower needs to be rescheduled.
She won't need anything for the baby while the baby's in the hospital- most likely. Just keep an open line of communication with your friend and I'm sure it'll all work out fine. =D
The baby won't need anything immediately. My son spent first week in NICU and we needed nothing as they had diapers, clothes, blankets, etc. Unless you think that mom would like baby to have a blanket/shirt or something from home. A special blanket or something. But, beware that the hospital may not allow it initially depending on baby's condition.
I think you could work on making mom comfortable - I would help gather some comfy sweatpants, t-shirts, etc. Nursing bra was a good idea. I would concentrate on finding out from her what she needs - just ask! Once she's in the NICU she will think of plenty things she needs from home (at least I know I did!) I don't know if you live close enough that she will still be staying with you but just visiting the hospital but make sure you have meals and snacks on hand for her
Very small diapers, hand sanitizer, and mostly, just being there for them like you are. I hope all goes well with them all.
My son was delivered at 32 weeks.
The hospital should bring in a pump for her but she will need a good double electric pump (like a Medela Pump In Style or rent a hospital grade one once she comes home). She will need to pump every 3 hours just as if baby were nursing. She can try to nurse him while he's in the hospital and I highly recommend that. I had to work with my son for 6 weeks after he came home to teach him to nurse because we didn't get a lot of opportunities in the hospital.
You can also be an advocate for her at the hospital and make sure they know to bring her a pump as soon as possible. I was barely able to sit up after my c-section and they wheeled in the pump for me. She won't get much-just some colostrum at first and her milk will come in in a couple of days. She just has to keep up with the pumping to build a supply for the baby.
Nursing bras will be helpful after she is out of the hospital since she'll be pumping round the clock.
She will need some breastmilk storage bags once she is home. Gerber brand worked great for me. She will need to write the amount, date and time on the bags. Get her a sharpie. Our hospital also had us place the Gerber bags inside a gallon size bag just in case a bag leaked it wouldn't contaminate everything in the NICU freezer.
Also, get her some of the Medela Steam Clean bags. It will make cleaning/sterilizing her pump parts a breeze. I so wish I'd had those with my son. I had to sterilize after every. single. pumping. session!
After about a week or two our son could start wearing clothes because he had way less tubes and such. The hospital did have clothes but we wanted him in his own. Don't get a ton of preemie things though just a few onsies and some socks would be good.
My son was there 6 weeks and he was a healthy preemie without many issues. I had been given steroids to help mature his lungs.
Best to her and baby!
I hate to say this and I'm sure the odds are very very long but - our friend was misdiagnosed with HELLP several months ago. Fortunately it was at 37 weeks but it turned out to be lymphoma, not HELLP. She was in excellent hospitals in a large city etc but I can kind of see how the symptoms would be similar and the doctors would misdiagnose. I just say this so you're aware and perhaps can push the doctors on doing some tests after the surgery to make sure it's HELLP. The misdiagnosis cost incredibly valuable time. Again - very long shot but I can't help but mention. Best wishes.
She most likely wont need anything just yet. The hospital generally has everything that they will need for baby. Like the others have said, wait and go see her and see how they are doing and ask if she needs anything.
For the Mom you could bring her some flowers to be nice, and maybe a few things at home that she uses a lot, like a favorite blanket, or book. Some home cozies that will make her feel a little better.
As for at home, you can always finish the basement for them if possible, so that it is ready for them when they are ready to come home. Or at least get more of it done, so its less for them to worry about.
Just be there for her, and give her good support.
Best wishes, and hope everything turns out okay.
While she is in the hospital they will provide a hospital grade pump and she will be given or should be given a kit to use. This is very important for nicu babies. I work in a mother baby unit at our regional hospital and we always "push" a little harder for moms that have babies there because pumping and giving the baby whatever comes out helps sooo much. When she goes home I would make sure she rents or buys a Medela. Due to baby being in nicu she needs the top of the line pump since she will be only pumping. Very important to use the best out there.
When she pumps at home she will need storage for the milk. I use NUK storage bags. I write the date and oz's at the top. Also when I first started out nursing I wrote what I ate if I thought it might upset her tummy, ie. milk, caffeine, things like that. That way I knew the possible cause.
Yes she will need pads, disposable ones would probably work better than reusable just because she can change them and throw them while visiting once she goes home.
A nursing bra or tank top are great ideas. I use the ones from target. I love tank top while at home and bra for out and about. Just don't get a bra with an under wire due to it can hinder milk production until milk is established. That is straight from our LC mouth. My baby is 7.5 months actually and EBF and I still can't use an under wire because it causes my milk to drop by 2-3oz's a day when I pump at work. So instead of 16 i'll get usually 13-14oz.
Something to keep her thoughts in helps a lot of our moms deal with the roller coaster of emotions they face. Unless you have had a nicu baby you don't understand what she will be going through.
If she has a digital camera make sure she has it so she can take pictures if they allow.
In a few weeks the staff at the hospital can assist you on what you might need for the baby. Decorate the room, bring stuffed animals, make it fun to be there for family because thats what baby needs.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot. At my hospital the team does rounds every morning and thats when the nicu docs, nurses and anyone else involved in care gets together and talks about the babies. During this time questions, concerns and thoughts are always welcome. They know this is new to the family so please don't every feel shy to ask question.
I hope everything turns out well for the baby and your family. All three of my nieces were born under 29 weeks and now one is 14 and she was 2.2oz at brith and now is sassy as all get out and you wouldn't know she was a nicu baby, her sister was 2.8oz you can kind of tell she was but she is also autistic, and then their sister is now 10 and healthy as can be and she was 3.5oz. So wonderful things do come of this. It just stinks while going through it.
Be the wonderful sister you obviously are and you will help her more than you will ever know.
God bless
I would wait to buy anything. You don't know what is going to happen once they deliver the baby. If the baby is not coming home for over a month then you still have a month to prepare.
I had a preemie at 28 wks and I had to deliver because of HELLP. It sucks. Please know the Mom is very sick too. She will need a lot of recovery too. BUT anyway, get some preemie onsies, they have them at Gymboree & Children's Place. Get them with snaps if possible because the leads to the monitors have to go thru them. Wash them in baby detergent. Little hats too.
You will still have at least 4 or 5 wks. Once she's feeling better you guys can go shopping. Have a shower etc. The hospital can give her a pump and insurance should cover it, or she can pump at the NICU. I hated every second of that and only lasted a few weeks. It was either a crazy drained Mom who pumped, or someone who could take care of her tiny baby.
So nursing pads and a little cooler to transport the milk to and from the NICU when she pumps at home.
She'll need a lot of iron once she gets out. So high iron foods are good. Low salt stuff too.
She'll also need a button down shirt to kangaroo (holding the baby on your skin, it helps).
That's all I can think of! Tell her my 1lb 10oz baby will be 9 in 4 wks and he's in 4th grade and plays goalie on his ice hockey team. And I didn't let HELLP scare me from giving him a brother!
My baby wan't a premie but was in the NICU for 2 weeks. Yea at least 2 nursing bras, a hospital grade pump, milk bags to put the breast milk in, pads for bleeding, and some slippers. She can use the hospital pump while there i had one in my babies room. He didnt nurse very well when i saw him so id try then id pump right afterwards.
Congrats to her and i hope everything goes well. She is going to need a lot of support it is really hard leaving your baby there.
You already received some great advice ~ I just wanted to tell you that I think what you are doing for your cousin is amazing :) She is lucky to have you in her life!!
I pray all goes well!
Right now I would not do anything. If she is suffering from HELP syndrome
she is very ill. Get her thru the delivery and this syndrome and then
start to put together a plan. I will keep her in my prayers. Keep us updated.
