32 Month Old (2 Years 8 Months) Holding Bowel Movements

Updated on April 24, 2010
R.C. asks from San Diego, CA
14 answers

My son holds his bowel movements for days! It's horrible because he gets horribly cranky and ruins entire days just tyring to hold it. He's not constipated because the BM is soft. I believe that he was so traumatized by being constipated a few times a while ago that he's afraid to go.

I'm trying to ensure that he doesn't get constipated and hopefully his fear will subside.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

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So What Happened?

This past Monday evening we decided to put him on Miralax. It's now Friday and as I started to write this, he finally went....WITHOUT any pain!!!! This was day 7 and I've been horribly worried about him. A few of you wrote indicating that your child's colon had stretched as a result of this same behavior. Every day this week that he held it, I just worried more and more. We have a dr. appt. on Oct. 6 th and hopefully by then I can tell the story to the dr. but, we won't have to have any add'l treatment.

I'm so relieved to say that, I think this will be the end of the painful BM's and holding it. I'm sure that it might take a while to end his fear of pooping but, were on our way!! Thanks to all of you who wrote to me with your stories. I'm so thankful to our source, Mamasource!

More Answers

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

This is the age in which this happens. It's common.
It happened to my girl at this age too, and we had to take her to a Pediatric Gastroenterologist, because she became greatly constipated and her BM's were impacted, inside.

Main thing is, he does not get constipated. It can trigger a vicious cycle if they do... because, per our Doctor, it causes 1) pain 2) then they don't want to poop 3) then they get more constipated 4) then they get more pain, and on and on.

This "stage" is partly emotional/psychological and physical.
The more they hold it in.... the more it can 'hurt' them....then the more they don't want to go poop.

ALSO, holding in BM can also cause problems internally. So keep that in mind.
Here are some links on it:
http://en.allexperts.com/q/Pediatrics-1429/Struggles-hold...
http://www.drgreene.com/21_762.html
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/show/278442

I would take him to the Doctor.
Take care,
Susan

2 moms found this helpful
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M.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I know how you feel. My daughter started holding her bowel around 2 years old until 5 years old!! She held it for 18 days straight.

She is on Miralax daily. We were actually off of it for a while but had an xray a month ago and her colon was once again full, even though she is pooping nearly daily.

Please don't listen to well meaning people who tell you it is behaivoral. Unless a Dr. tells you that, ignore it. Don't punish and reward probably won't work. Once they've held it, the can't push it out. Their colon's get stretched out then the poop becomes impacted. One would thing if your full it would coming squirting out (tmi, I know) but the truth is, the more backed up he is, the harder it will be to push out.

You need to get him on something to keep his poop soft and help him to have daily bowel movements. A wholesome diet with plenty of water is a great start, but at this point, he may need more. Once you find something that works and gives you the daily soft poops, you HAVE to stick with it for awhile, it can take up to 6mos for the colon to go back to it's normal size. For my daughter, we are going on nearly a year. She is doing great but we aren't 100% yet.

Google Encopresis and see if that sounds like your son or sounds like you are heading that way. If so, talk to his Dr. about it. If all he says is he is constipated, then find a Dr. that will listen. For us, this went on for way too long! My Dr. should have been more wise. This is VERY common.

Call me or email me if you have any further questions.
M.
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____@____.com

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A.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi R.,
It is truly amazing how many kids have poop issues...My son started having them when he was a little constipated, and then he just started to hold it, just like your son. We use Miralax as well, it works wonders. From what I understand, it is all natural, although please ask your doctor first. Good luck to you!

1 mom found this helpful
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E.Z.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi
My son did the same thing, it was something he did even wearing diapers.
But, it got worse when potty training set in. For a loooong time we used diapers for #2 only.
Do not punish him, just try to look for signals when it's time and try to guide him towards going to the bathroom. If he is scared of the toilet (my son was), try getting him a potty. Our potty was always in the family room (I know - gross, but what to do) and one day he just finally realized that he could do it.
I have to say that we also needed to use Miralax mixed in with his drinks for quite some time I believe close to a year or so. We also pushed fruits (plums, oranges etc) that helps with the BMs.
It is tough, at one point I thought I was going to go nuts over this - it is really frustrating cause you know that your child is uncomfortable. It is really important to take care of it though, like the other lady wrote, do not let him go without a BM for too many days, if he wants a diaper - let him have one. If you need to stay home the whole day to get him to go - do that. (My son wanted to be home)
It gets better, nowadays he is 7 and half, and once in a while I have to remind him that he needs to take some time out of his busy day to go to the bathroom, and that ususally does it, but most of the time he goes by himself now.
If your childs ped. wont listen to this - ask for a referral to a specialist - this IS very common!

E.

1 mom found this helpful
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E.N.

answers from San Diego on

Hi R., i wish had some wonderful advice to give. Mt daughter did that as well when she was young, so i can give you compassion! My daughter sis that for about 2 maybe 3 years. There was no reason that i could ever find out, belive me i tried my hardest! She would tense up her body and hold it in for dear life! Anytime she held in in for to long, over a week, when she would run or be active, it would try to come out and she would stop everything she was doing and hide and hold it in. I tried everyform of a laxative. i had her sit on the toilet for an hour. I went to the pediatrictian numerous times trying to find out why. She even had an enema so they could look with a camera and see if she was ok. She is 9 years old today, and i have asked her if she remembers, cause i still want to know why??!! But she doesn't remeber a thing and goes #2 just fine.
She stopped the summer befor kindergarten.it was a miracle. I finally prayed and asked the Lord for help, and she stopped. I was the most wonderful thing!! Know i am praying for you!

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A.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi R.,
I understand your concerns. My son is 3 1/2 yo and he was diagnosed with "Fecal Hoarding". I've been struggling with irregular BM and constipation for 2yrs. I've been trying to potty train and having lots of difficulty. We finally changed pediatricians and did an "intestinal clean-out" and we use Miralax daily. We are trying to retrain the colon to just release when the sensation comes. You also have to be careful of "Mega Colon". The colon enlarges due to holding stool. We've been trying to educate our son to not hold his poop because it makes boo-boo's in his tummy. We also read the book, "Everybody Poops". We also realized he has alot of control in his BM. It's taken alot of patience, rewards and stickers, but we have made progress. I think you should talk to your Dr. before it gets worse. It can be a real problem.
Good Luck!
A.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Poor baby, my daughter did the same thing, my husband and I would literally have to sit with her on the toilet and hold her down in a seated position so she can cry and at the same time push it out... it was just a fear of being constipated a few times back... it's a horrible thing to go through but the good thing is that it gets better. I started giving her a lot of foods to help it along and started putting her on the toilet and sitting with her for at least 15 minutes every day just to bring the urge... just be patiend, this situation ruined our vacations, night outs etc.. If we planned to to go dinner, we would start trying to make her use the bathroom 2 days in advance it was so bad... it'll get better, she's now 14 :)

1 mom found this helpful
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F.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

I had the same problem with my oldest son when he was around the same age. He would hide and go in his pants sometimes too. I think my son's issue came from being rushed through our morning routine. I was working full time then and he went to a daycare center. While looking for a remedy, I read that constipation often occurs in children who are rushed through part of their day. Because I couldn't change the fact that I had to be at work on time and he liked getting ready at a snail's pace, I came up with a way to let him feel like he could take his time on the potty without losing time for other things. I designated ten minutes every morning just for potty time. I just sat and waited with him to create a non-rushed environment. He started having regular BM's after a few days of this. I couldn't always keep this up, but as long as I did it most of the time, he did too. My son is almost eight now and he still has his BM in the morning before school. Best wishes and I hope this helps!

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C.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Try turning him to face the back of the toilet- this was suggested for me and worked for my son- he quickly decided to change back on his own... it will subside :) It takes a bit of time for all the kinks of learning to go potty get ironed out. Hang in there!

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C.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Maybe you can make it easier on him and give him prune juice. That will ensure it all gets out with little pain for him.

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A.B.

answers from Nashville on

Oh my gosh,where was the web site when I was having these same problems with my daughter? We are lucky to have each other.
First let me worn you that I put my daughter on Miralax when she was 3 and her bm's were very pasty and messy, which caused problems at pre-school, it seems this isnt the same for all childeren,but be sure to try it on a day or two when you have no plans.You can find baby enemas at drug stores and once I started using them, she decided pooping was so bad after all. Her bm's were mostley soft so I knew she was not constepated. I never figured out what the problem was. I thinks she just didnt like sitting there for so long. She is 6 now and still sometimes holds her bm's. If it is for longer than 3 days I just tell her its time for an enema. I also use candy to get her to go and this was a bad idea because for a while she thought when she pooped she should get candy. Not a good habit to get into.My daughter ruined many play dates from holding it. I always thought she was a lazy kid cause she didnt like to play, now that she goes often I have realized I actually have a very active child.It will all work out at the end, but keep in mind it is very bad for his system to hole them at all. My peditrician wanted me to bring her in after 5 days to take care of it herself. Of course I didnt do this because I didnt want to traumatize her. Good luck!

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M.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

My son had the same problem, and now at 5 years old it is still a tendency. Prunes, kiwi whatever he will eat that will really make him need to go and soften it. Avoid all the constipating foods. You did not menton ifyour son is potty trained, but if he is encourage him to sit to make poo poo or whatever your term, on a regular schedule. I encourage my son to try before bath time and in the morning before he gets dressed. Your son needs to get a few soft ones to start feeling a little less uneasy about it.

Good luck!

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K.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

R.,

I'm so glad you asked about this. I don't offer much advice but can tell you my experience. My son has been doing the same thing for about a year. He only has BMs every 3-5 days and it drives us crazy! When I can see he has the urge to go (pacing, holding his stomach in, wanting to lay down) I try to distract him by playing chase or tickles, or go into another room to give him some privacy, or give him a snack. For some reason when he's stuck in his booster seat at the dinner table it makes him have to go. I let him get down but don't let him lay down on the bed or couch to comfort himself and prolong the misery. Sometimes this works sometimes it doesn't. Is your son potty trained? Mine is not but might be showing signs of readiness as he needs privacy when he finally does go and am hoping this will help remedy the issue once he is out of diapers. The dr gives us the generic response that he needs more fiber and liquids but as you know trying to get a 2 yr old to eat/drink something they don't want to is harder than pulling teeth. I hope this helps and that you receive other advice because I'll be waiting to read it! Good luck!

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E.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hello R.! My 3 1/2 yr old son used to hold his poop, and I'm pretty sure that he was traumatized by constipation as well. I would catch him with his legs crossed and face all red from trying to hold it. It was awful. The more he would hold it, the harder it became for him to have a BM. This may be a terrible idea, but I started to reward him for making #2 by giving him little treats, like hershey kisses, rolos, or m&m's. And, I made it a game. I would hide the treat in one of my hands, behind my back. Then, when I bring them forward, I would have him guess which hand is hiding his treat. He loves it! Needless to say, we no longer have this problem :)

Good luck to you!

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