3 Yr 1 Mo Old Giving up Nap

When my son gave up his nap around 3 1/2 some days he would take a nap and some days he wouldn't. But I gave him a choice on whether or not to take a nap. Around 3 they like to be able to be more in control of their lives and letting them decide to take a nap or not is one way they can control their lives. However, he did have to have quiet time on his bed for at least 35 minutes. If he was tired enough for a nap, that was usually enough for him to fall asleep. He would still be be tired and cranky on the days he didn't take a nap, but when he was I would remind him that was what happened when he decided to not take a nap. It's hard when they stop taking naps, but you really can't make them sleep if they don't want to.

If she is still acting tired and cranky on days she doesn't take a nap then she is not ready to give them up. My daughter started trying to give up her naps around 18 months. I used to be able to just put her in her crib and she would go to sleep no problem but once she hit 18 months she just refused to nap. if i left her in her room she would just cry and if I gave her toys she would just play and never nap. But she was still cranky so I had to start staying in her room until she fell asleep. She is now 2 and 1/2 and i still have to lay with her for about 10 min. if I want her to take a nap. I don't have to lay with her for bedtime only nap but to me it is so worth it in order to still get a 2 hour break during the day. So I would lay with her so she will still get the rest she needs.

At this age it is the idea of a nap that they fight. If you tell her it is quiet time and let her read books, but she has to stay laying down till a timer goes off then she can play quiet in the room. They usually fall asleep before the timer goes off. Just the idea that she does not have to will let her rest enough to fall asleep.

I have used this as a nanny with four three year olds and as they got older if they were still not wanting to nap but needed one.

S.
Mother to Kai
www.HomeWithKai.com

Around 2-3 many kids start to exert their independence & they don't want to miss out on anything, so they start resisting naps. That does not necessarily mean that they are physically ready to give up naps. Every kid is different, but studies show that most kids benefit from naps until they are around 4. I think that it's easy confuse the struggle with being ready to give up naps. If your child is still falling asleep during the day & cranky, I think that's an indication that she's not ready. There are different ways to deal with the struggle and I've tried a few. Regardless of what I do, one of my kids will give me struggles every few weeks because that's just his personality...he pushes back on just about everything. Ironically, of all my kids, he's the one that needs the sleep the most - he's an absolute wreck without it.

Here are some things I've tried. I tell him he doesn't have to sleep, but he has to lie down with his eyes closed for a just a few minutes. Usually he's out when I go back a few minutes later. Sometimes I tell him that if he goes right to sleep, he can have gum when he wakes up (gum is his favorite thing in the world). Sometimes I tell him, if he's not going to sleep he'll have to take a nap downstairs so he doesn't disturb his napping siblings (he hates that). The point is to find something that will motivate your child. I also think the idea of having a quiet time without the pressure of napping that another mom had was great. If I can get my kids to hold still for 5 seconds, they usually fall asleep all on their own. I'm sure lying for a bit can work, too, but I've resisted going to that because I don't want to set a precedent. But I do sing them a song and give them a face tickle, just to try to get them to wind down.

Good luck! And don't give up if you think she really needs the sleep!

I agree with the hour of quiet time. If I don't give my son an hour of quiet time, I usually find him asleep in a corner of the house somewhere where he has been playing and just fallen asleep. Its quite cute, but just shows that he is tired and does need the down time still (so do I...lol). I try not to force a nap because it plain doesn't work anymore, but he likes his quiet time and 3 out of 7 days he will sleep, the other 4 days, he goes to be earlier and the rest is enough to keep him going till bedtime with an extra snack.

Best of luck and patience.

S.

You didn't pose a specific question, so some musings from another 3 yr. old's mama.
Don't underestimate the power of preschool. It takes a LOT for a little kid to be "switched on" all day or even part of the day. It makes them tired & cranky and of course the only person she feels comfortable with letting all that out is Mom. It's only been a couple of weeks, keep a decent basis of schedule and eventually I think you'll both settle in. Give it TIME.
Good job mommin'!

I hate this I don't need to nap thing...I try to tell her that later in life she's going to want naps again but won't be able to have them. of course she just looks at me like I'm the silliest mommy ever! lol.
What we do is quiet time. I let her lay down and watch a movie, (I pick one that she relaxes with like Sleeping Beauty, Robin Hood, or Mulan) some no matter how tired she won't sleep with so we don't do those ones. it has taken some trial and error. lol. anyway she can have a movie but she has to stay laying down, I have a portable DVD player she can use on her bed and that is usually what I do since she will sleep best there. when cousins/friends are over at this time we just do it downstairs and set everyone up with blankets and pillows on the couch and floor (with lots of cousins we put the back cushions from the couch on the floor and cover with a large blanket) the idea is to let my dd feel like she is in control of the situation so I give her choices of movies, (sleeping beauty or robin hood?) I let her choose 2 toys to take with her to go lay down. and if she is resisting going up stairs I race her and she'll say thats okay mommy sometimes you win sometimes you lose. (we say that so she knows she won't always win and sometimes we beat her up the stairs) anyway on really rough days I tell her to just take a deep breath and relax and close her eyes for five minutes and then she can open them and watch her movie. some days that works other days it doesn't. She naps 2 or 3 days a week is all. but we do quiet time for 2 hours every day. she needs the down time and so do I even if she isn't going to get a nap.
another thing is if we are driving somewhere at nap time, I tell her to please try not to fall asleep in the car. lol. works every time. she looks at me, closes her eyes and passes out.
I can usually then carry her in to the house and lay her down to finish her nap *unless it has already been over an hour then she wakes up*
they get so independent! but they love routine still. even when they fight it. I hope you find what works for you and your little girl.
some days I have found myself getting so frustrated and irritated when all that was working that day was to lie down with her and I stop and remind myself that this time will be over so fast and I will never look back and think gee I wish I hadn't taken the time to lie down with her at nap time. it helps me re prioritize my time, truly what is most important is the time I get to spend with my little girl. (sometimes that means taking good breaks so that time is pleasant, and other times it means taking a deep breath and reminding myself of how precious this time is--and that helps me in my pleasantness lol)
good luck, hang in there--sounds like you are doing a really good job.

Hi A.,
That was such a hard transition for us at 2 1/2, I sure did miss that quiet time and we had that cranky stage too. Beleive it or not it didn't last too long. And what I found was if he did get a nap he'd be up til 10pm! Quiet time in the room is perfect, we do that too. They need time to decompress, especially after school! What I thought was interesting about what you said is that she's cranky right after school, than fine after she is fed. I wonder if she is having a reaction to the snack at school? Are the snacks different or maybe high in sugar, something processed she may be reacting to.

L.

I didn't read all of the responses, but wanted to throw my two cents in.

My daughter is 4 1/2 and just started preschool last week. She hasn't really napped in the last year, but we still have a quiet time after lunch. She likes to listen to music and our rule is she has to "relax" as long as the CD lasts and she can have books and babies in bed. Preschool for her is only 3 hours 4 days a week, and she actually took a nap several days this week. I was surprised. Every kid and family is different, the key is to find what works for you.