3 Year Old's Behavior - Westbury,NY

Updated on September 20, 2011
M.B. asks from Westbury, NY
11 answers

My three year old son started nursery school last week. He has been crying when I drop him off. (he went to a 2 year old program last year in the same school, so not the first time in a school setting) When I pick him up he is so happy and tells me he likes school. The teacher is also telling me he is not being a good listener and I am seeing the same behavior at home as well. I have tried taking stuff away from him, rewarding him, etc. I am at a loss. Any suggestions??
Thank you!

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answers from New York on

I saw on Nanny 911 that if you make a chart and show them the goods things they are doing and not focus on the bad it helps. Like give him stars and show him at the end of the week he gets a treat or something. They also said they are trying to get attention be it bad or good. Believe me I understand I have a 4 yr old. He is better now. I try to the star system so far so good. :) They sell the chart at staples. That is where I found it.

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answers from Dallas on

My son is almost 4 and we had similar issues. We use a lot of praise and try to make things fun for him. We struggled with getting him to go to bed, now we make it a contest to see who can get to his room first.

I've also noticed that he responds very well to a routine. So as he gets into a routine for nursery school, hopefully things will get better.

Good luck...everyone warns you about the terrible 2s but 3s were harder for us.



answers from Dover on

Could you define being a good listener? I mean, I know what it means in general, but different people measure a good or bad listener in different ways.

Transition can always be difficult. Also the difference between a 2 and 3 yr. old class can be pretty big. The class is larger with more students, there are more activities and centers offered, more is done in a day, and more is expected as far as behavior, obedience, and self control are concerened.

It's important to remember that 3 years old is just 2 years old plus one day. In other words, it's a chronological number. There are certain milestones for your son to meet that are important as far as language and motor skills and such, but others take more time and don't magically appear on the day a child turns 3 or even a few months after.

I think it is probably the big change and that means consistency with you at home is the key. Set rules, guidelines and consequences (BOTH good and bad) for behavior and just stick with them. If he does well he gets more play time outside, or game time, etc. If he doesn't do well he gets less. That way he can see the cause and effect. It will get better, I promise.



answers from New York on

My 5yr old daughter had problems listening too. Her K teacher put her in a separate listening skills class a couple times a week (with our permission). She did well in the class & learned to listen better. Now, it's more of a "choice".
In the class, they used this website, http://wedolisten.org . It has animated books, lessons, posters, & songs. All for free. Hope this helps.



answers from Sharon on

My daughter Pre -K teacher always said it took 6-9 weeks for the kids to become fully acclimated to the class. She was an excellent teacher, and was usually right! Your son my just need a little bit of time to work it all out! A week isn't very long. New teacher, new class, different expectations! I would just keep reminding him, in a positive manner, about how to behave, etc.. I'm sure he will adjust, and be fine! He likes it, so that's great!



answers from Milwaukee on

Give him a few more weeks, sometimes even though it's a subtle change, (same school-new room), it still is wrought with anxiety for them. Talk about school at home and how exciting it is that he's in new room and how big he's getting, etc, etc...

Try implementing a reward system...talk about him having to wear his 'listening ears' at school and at home...and if he doesn't then there is a consequence which is XXX-but if after 3 days of good listening he gets XXX.



answers from San Francisco on

He's 3, it's a tough age where they are really learning how they can express themselves. Sounds like you are doing the right things, just be consistent and know that it's a phase.



answers from New York on

He probably just needs time to adjust and mature. Its still hard to listen at that age. Just keep encouraging him to listen.



answers from Des Moines on

The whole drop off/pick up thing seems to go in cycles. We go through phases where he cries he doesn't wanna go when I drop him off, and then when I pick him up he doesn't want go then either! And then a couple of months later he goes through the Happy phase where he runs in smiling when I drop him off and runs out smiling when I pick him up, and then it cycles back....



answers from New York on

Crying is normal. If he had a summer vacation and he's only 3 years old, two months is a long time and he is readjusting.
By not listening, is he actively disobeying, is he distracted or not looking at you or teacher when instructions are given? I'd say make sure he is paying attention, have him repeat back to you (or teacher) what the direction was and if he does not follow it, trot him right to the timeout chair facing the wall.
good luck



answers from Chicago on

Even though it is the same school, it is a different room, routine, teacher, etc. There is a reason for his behavior. He is upset about something but probably doesn't quite know what it is or doesn't know how to tell you about it (so he acts out/doesn't listen). Did you try asking him what is bothering him at school? If he isn't able to tell you then I would talk with him about how sometimes it is hard to start in a new class, it takes awhile to get used to a new routine, he might not be sure how to do things at first, etc. I also would let him know that he can tell you anything about school and you will listen to him. I am not a fan of telling him that it will be fun, he will like it, etc. Right now, it is not fun for him and he doesn't like it for some reason. Let him know that you understand that and you realize that it is hard for him.

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