3 Year Old, Strange Habit

Updated on March 05, 2010
D.A. asks from Gardena, CA
14 answers

My 3 year old son has a weird habit. He grabs on to my hair to fall asleep. Sometimes he will put strands of my hair in his mouth. My husband says it's gross and gets mad at him for doing it. I just think it's weird. I have thought that maybe it's like his security blanket or toy, only it's my hair instead it. Is this normal?

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So What Happened?

He grew out of it shortly after I wrote the post. I just hadn't been on here in a while, so I didn't update. He is a happy, healthy, 6 year old who does NOT eat hair.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

No its not weird. ALL the moms I know, my friends, have had similar things happen, in this age kids.

My son, likes my armpits! I asked him why and he said its "cozy" and he likes the smell and that it is pokey. ie: hair stubble. It is comforting to him.
My other friends said, their kids liked to hang onto their hair too... falling asleep or otherwise. Or, some of their kids like a certain area on their neck to smell and touch.

The point being, it is comforting to them and the smell of "Mom" is nice for them. It is a kind of bonding. Even my Mom herself, said when she was that age, she liked her Mom's smell and liked to cuddle up to her neck and rub her ears.

Anyway, no its not abnormal. Nor weird.

All the best,
Susan

3 moms found this helpful

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R.V.

answers from San Diego on

My 2.5 year old has never had a normal lovely - he hates stuffed animals, blankets, all the "normal" stuff! Instead, he's always wanted to rub my hair (or his own, in a pinch) when he needs comforting - before going to sleep, when cranky/scared, etc. It's from way back when we were breastfeeding, he'd always kind of sleepily tangle his fingers in my hair while eating.

When I wanted to teach him to get himself back to sleep, I bought him one of these: http://www.sallybeauty.com/Revlon-Twister-Hairpiece/REVLO.... It is creepy as anything, but it's his lovey now - we call it "Cousin It", lol. He doesn't put it in his mouth though - I don't want to think about the synthetic chemical whatnots on that fake hair! But if you or someone else did want to give it a try, I get them at Sally's Beauty Supply, or Empire (more expensive tho).

Good luck!

R.

1 mom found this helpful

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

My children would grip the hair at the nape of my neck when they were infants. It was comforting and for whatever reason they liked the texture. Both my kids to this day are very aware of the texture of clothing on their skin, loose hairs on them after a haircut, the elastic on the inside of a shirt, tags, etc. They are 8 and 11 years.
That said, my kids stopped with the hair thing in early toddlerhood... they were too busy and it was annoying to me (they had a tight grip and it can hurt!). If you think he just finds certain textures more soothing, then buy him something that he can control (a blanket, a stuffed animal, whatever). To allow him to grab your hair to fall asleep at 3 years old seems a bit extreme to me. He might need a lovey, but it doesn't need to be you. Shop around for a stuffed animal with lots of really soft yarns that he can hold onto.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

My almost 3.5 son has done this for as long as I can remember. Sometimes he even puts it in his ear! Usually not his mouth, but that has happened on occasion as well. I hope it's normal!

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V.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

My vote = No, it’s not weird! Maybe it’s the shampoo you use? I use the citrus scent shampoo/conditioner from Trader Joe’s. My son loves smelling my hair and playing with it gently before he goes to bed or when we’re cuddling on the couch because he says he likes the way it smells. It’s comforting to him. He doesn’t put it in his mouth, but I probably wouldn’t think that was weird either. Although I might not like the slobber LOL
My son from infancy until about a year ago (he’s 4 now) would fall asleep squeezing my thumb. I didn’t mind it and didn’t think anything of it, but others thought it was weird. I didn’t care =-)
Now I will comment to my husband “Remember when he used to squeeze my thumb to fall asleep? I miss it!” They all outgrow this kind of stuff. Take pleasure in it while you can.

1 mom found this helpful

K.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

It wouldn't be my first choice of something to soothe me, but it's his :) I don't think it's strange at all, but I would encourage other things like a blankey or stuffed animal. I think it's kinda cute that he casually grabs a strand of YOUR hair :)

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A.C.

answers from San Diego on

My son would always pick up a strand of my hair off the floor and put it in his mouth. I thought it was a little strange, but as long as he didn't actually swallow it, no big deal. My husband didn't like it and would take them away from him. He is 5 now and doesn't do it anymore...

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G.T.

answers from San Francisco on

It's normal.
You will find several posts on this site about it.

I remember someone posted a website where you could order a doll made with your own hair but I can't find it anymore.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

you described my 3 year old to a T! PLUS he has an afro, so when he messes with it, it gets really bad really fast...I tell him he can't eat my hair, but we play 'paint brush' with it - and I make him close his eyes and I 'paint' his face...I believe it's a self-stim/comfort...it's not a big deal, and it won't be forever...

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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

Hi D., I have to disagree with S.H about this being normal, I'm not saying it;s abnormal either, childhood habits only happen when parents allow them too. A child may love his moms hair cause it's soft and smells good, but to need it to fall a sleep, is a little much. Children, should have enough security with in his home and family, for bed time, and everyday routines. i have been a mom for 26 years, and the place I have ever heard of this behavior is here on mamasource. My 3 never did anything like this, and none of my daycare parents in 13 years have mentioned anything like this. I Agree with your husband that it is gross to allow him to put your hair in his mouth. What i would do id get him a stuffed animal that has a tail made of yard, and have him hold that, also in the meantime put hour hair up in a bun, do let your hair be available to him, and the last this, is treat him like a 3 year old not a baby, I have a feeling he's not really being treated like 3 year old, (Just a guess) I apoligize if I'm wrong. For my business and withen my church i have taken many parenting classes, and child rearing classes, so that's my advice, and remember it'sn only advice. J.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi D.,
My daughter also has an obsession with my hair. She wants it to fall asleep or just to relax. She's almost 3 years old now, and about 5 months ago, I couldn't take it any more. I decided to stop this awful habit that I was allowing. So, I started telling her to stop playing with my hair or I am putting it up. We went through fits of crying and screaming, but it eventually worked. Now, all I have to do is threaten her that I will put it up if she doesn't leave me alone. I have also stood up and walked away from her. It was really difficult to do, because I know that I was the one to let her do it, and now all of a sudden I changed my mind. Didn't seem fair to her, but I just couldn't take it anymore.
The first step is to talk to him. He understands, believe me. And the next step is to go cold turkey, that's the fastest way for him to get over it. It may take a few weeks, but it will work, I promise. Be consistant, and never give in just to smooth things out.
oh, I also told my daughter that if she can play with my hair, then I was going to play with her's.....she hated that. That was in the very beginning, after that I just put my hair in a bun.
Good luck!

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A.V.

answers from San Diego on

Hi D.,

I don't know if this is normal or not, but my daughter, almost 3, would grab onto my hair too, she used to twirl it in her fingers to fall asleep Now that her hair is long enough, she twirls her own hair. I have two other daughters, and neither of them did this except for the 3 year old. I hope this helps.

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L.S.

answers from New London on

you might want to think about replacing this with something that isn't attached to you. A cozy animal etc. How is he supposed to learn how to fall asleep on his own if he needs you there to fall asleep?

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A.N.

answers from Los Angeles on

My 1 year old does this and I think it's a comfort thing. As for a 3 year old, I don't think it's abnormal, but should probably stop and get a replacement like a blanket or a toy. Our 1 year old does not put it in his mouth, but does like to pull on it when he is trying to go to sleep, which since he has slept in his own crib for over 9 months now, he has a blankie and a toy giraffe for hair to pull on.

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